A hush seemed to fall over the room as Sarah and Jareth reappeared, standing together in the centre of the ballroom beneath the moonlight. All watched as the couple seemed to observe the waiting crowds with an air of something rather arrogant. Far in the back corner of the room, Jacques leaned against a pillar, his curiosity peaking as he saw Sarah's arm thread through Jareth's in a contented companionship that he had never seen his King indulge in before. His eyes widened as he spotted the cruel smirk on his old friend's face, and for the first time that night he saw a shadow of the man he had once known. This should be good, he thought with a little smile.
"Old friends…companions…subjects. It has come to my attention that your behaviour has grown a little...shall we say lax in my absence?" Jareth called, his voice booming strangely over the great hall. Slowly, the musicians stopped playing, entranced at their King.
Sarah observed the crowds, trying her best to maintain the haughty air of superiority that Jareth had told her to affect, upturning her nose and trying her best to look down on the people around her. Just how it came so naturally to him, she did not know. From the corner of her eye she spotted a crimson dress and waves of blonde hair, and for an ephemeral moment met the eye of Marie. To her amazement, the woman smiled knowingly and gave her an approving little nod.
"I remember when you were all respectable. When you had manners towards your monarchs. When you knew your place." Jareth continued, stepping away from Sarah for a moment. She almost gulped at how they all parted for him, retreating to the edges of the dance floor in what she could only describe as dread. And Jareth seemed to relish in it.
"Your Majesty, I beg your forgiveness."
The air seemed to still as a gruff voice from the crowds sounded, causing Jareth's back to stiffen. He glanced about, the leather of his boots creaking as followed the voice to stand before a heavyset man with a wiry black beard. Cocking his head, he gazed at him almost curiously.
"Don't stop on my account, please, continue Gregor." Jareth said, false friendship running through his voice. Sarah licked her suddenly very dry lips.
"We…we are all distressed, Your Majesty. We are trying to accept our future Queen but we forget ourselves." There was the smallest amount of venom in the man's voice that Sarah did not miss. And she knew Jareth didn't either. She watched his brow raise, his lips parting just so as he took a heavy intake of breath.
In that moment Jareth felt his eye twitch a little, a strange hum running through his mind. All night he had endured their withering smiles and callous little words, words that pricked and nipped at his skin enough to make his spine crawl. Casting a glance to Sarah and the way her brow had begun to worry, he decided. No more. He was their King. And they would do damn well to remember.
He allowed a large grin to take his face, and Sarah recoiled a little at the way his teeth seemed to sharpen and glint in the firelight.
"Her womb is fertile and I will reap the rewards of that. Does that anger you and your barren wife?" The way he pronounced each word, he was savouring the way they rolled from his tongue as if they were the most delicious things he had ever tasted.
Sarah felt the air almost snap as she fought to maintain her composure. She watched Jareth wander over to a low table, deftly picking up a gold handled carving knife. Her heart seemed to stop as she observed the crowds. Was this too far? Was this how it was done? But at the resigned looks on their faces she knew that they had seen much worse before. Sarah returned her gaze to Jareth who was delicately toying with the pointed blade in what was nothing less than a threat. It had been a long time since she had seen him like this...she wasn't sure if it was discomfort or intrigue at the thought that it was still so close to the surface of him.
The heavy set man seemed to eye his King in anger.
"No, what angers my barren wife and me is that you do not strive to fulfil your duty as our leader and take the children that need saving from her world. We have a large house with many empty rooms that we wanted filled with children. Because of this girl we have lost that dream."
Despite the gasp of the crowd, Jareth cocked his head once more, almost pondering as he regarded the brusque man. Sarah knew he was feigning ignorance.
"You question my duties as a King?"
"I certainly question them as a friend."
The laugh that fell from Jareth almost shook of her. It was almost a little too cheerful, something that felt so unnatural. A nervous titter rippled through the pack.
"You believe us to be friends?" He said almost sympathetically.
"I believe I did." Gregor murmured, averting his gaze. The shadow of the King seemed to look over him as he stood, and the air his shade touched seemed to grow a little colder.
Jareth sneered at that, a frightening flicker playing across his face
"A fine friend to insult my wife, let alone your Queen in front of me."
The crowd seemed all but forgotten between the two men now, and Sarah was beginning to grow a little more than worried. She was sure this was going too far. They had decided that he needed to assert their dominance, not cause a rebellion. The gruff voice of Gregor brought her back to reality.
"Do you know how many times I've held Lanya as she cried herself to sleep over our empty home? She trails her fingers in the dust of the nursery and weeps for children we'll never have. She is in unspeakable pain and all you do is mollycoddle this girl-"
"If you wish for me to cut your tongue out then you are carrying on the right way about it." Jareth advanced on him, bearing his sharp teeth and looking very much like some sort of Jackal. Sarah felt a shiver run through her spine.
"No, no, you're right. I find myself talking far too much. What has your Queen got to say on the subject? I am very intrigued."
After a second of observing the man, Jareth walked a few paces away and stabbed the knife into a table, leaving it upright and stuck fast in the polished wood. The sound made Sarah whimper as she fought not to bring a hand to her mouth.
"Come here, Sarah." He demanded.
She stilled for a moment, her mouth parching at the ferocity in his eyes. Yet she knew this was no time to cross him. As gracefully as she could she moved to stand beside him, trying to keep her lip from quivering. Seemingly not caring that the masses were watching, Jareth ran a gloved finger over her cheek and gazed at her, but not the way he usually regarded her. This was appraising, like he was evaluating his prize.
"So very beautiful, isn't she Gregor?"
Sarah swallowed. Whatever happens, follow my lead he had warned her. And she was trying her best.
"Yes, Your Majesty." He muttered.
"I don't believe I heard you." Jareth called out a little louder.
"I said yes, Your Majesty." The booming reply came. Jareth seemingly nodded in satisfaction, turning back to observe not only the man, but the entire crowd.
"Look at her, Gregor. All of you look at her. Does she look like the nightmare your parents told you she was? Does she have sharp claws and wicked fangs like your bedtime stories? Do you think this girl could bring you any harm Gregor? Could you not fend her off?" Jareth said mockingly, enjoying the sniggers that swelled through the horde. The man spluttered, searching for some king of reply.
"It is not her body that is dangerous, but her mind-"
"Oh, yes! Ah, I did forget, thank you Gregor. Sarah's mind, it is so very villainous and manipulative that she will rise up a great army and slaughter us all. Yes...her and her great army of...oh yes, one girl." The sniggers were louder this time, and Sarah felt an uncomfortable knot in her stomach at the way the man was being so steadfastly humiliated.
"Her children-"
"My children." Jareth snarled, a look of palpable venom on his face. He stalked towards him; so close that Sarah was sure there was not a hairs breadth left between them. Gregor looked suitably uncomfortable.
"My children will obey their father. And they will love their mother for the life she gifts them. And if any of you chose to save your own lives and join her world once more then I commend you. Because looking at her, I see no threat." He finished lightly, stepping away and returning to Sarah's side. She almost heaved a sigh of relief as she thought the confrontation was over. But she supposed that she should have known better than that.
"Your children will love her. And do you, Your Majesty? Do you love her as she says?" Gregor's voice rang through the hall and Jareth's body stiffened. Sarah met his eye in dismay at the display of defiance, but strangely it looked to her as if Jareth was nothing short of gleeful at the words.
He gave a disbelieving laugh, almost thoroughly entertained.
"Tell me, what cause other than her words do you have to think that? I will revere her as a man does his wife. I will protect her as a King does his Queen. I will worship her as the mother of my children. And if that is what Sarah would like to call love then so be it."
For a moment, he paused, almost giving a little shake of his head and returning to his body.
"And yet, why am I explaining myself to you Gregor? Because remind me, who am I?" He demanded, hands on his hips as he stood ever so casually.
"You are the King, Your Majesty." Came the begrudging reply.
"And who are you? In this great walk of life, who are you?" Jareth bellowed.
"No one."
Seemingly satisfied with the answer he nodded, clasping his hands behind his back to walk amongst the crowds.
"So how dare you question me? How dare you all question my will, my desire, my judgement? Have you all grown so complacent in my absence?"
He walked around the room, observing the people and smirked as some bowed their heads in shame.
"What a mockery you make of my court. Because from where I stand, I should slaughter you all. I think I'd prefer to have no court than to rule over your sorry hides."
Sarah's eyes flickered from person to person, surprised to see not rage and defiance, but absolute disappointment and shame. It was then that she realised they all looked to him for acceptance, for validation. And to have let him down…she supposed it was rather like upsetting a very stern parent. But the way he prowled, the way he bore fang, the way his eyes flickered…it was beginning to make her heart beat a little too fast. She wanted to call out to him, to remind him to calm down just a little. But she dared not even try.
"Did you not once think that I was in seclusion not for sickness brought on by some ill wrought love...but to save all of you?"
He was thundering now, his anger taking hold and ringing through the great hall. Sarah shook, her hands wringing together with her panic. She had always known he was powerful, but until this moment she had never seen how terrifying he could be. She wondered if it truly was an act like he had said, or if he was taking this opportunity to release.
"I bear this world upon my shoulders so that you all might live and breathe and drown yourselves in your pathetic lives? And why should I? When this is my thanks?"
He finished his lap, returning to stand before the bearded man, squinting at him with distaste.
"Did you all for not one moment think that perhaps I was formulating a plan? A plan to sustain us for generations? Our old way of stealing the children was not viable and you all know that. This girl is our best hope. Her children will strengthen our blood lines forevermore...and should you all choose to follow suit and join the human world, claim your own mates and share your offspring with them then, and only then, shall we truly be saved. And you dare to insult her." He spat. Sarah froze as he turned to her, raising a brow.
"What would you have me do with them, Sarah? Since they have all been swiping at you all evening, what would you wish for me to do to them?" He called over, his words still shaking with rage. Sarah swallowed as everyone looked to her, waiting with baited breath to see what punishment she would inflict upon them.
"Your Majesty, I..." She said quietly, begging him with wide eyes not to make her do this. But he waved her away with a low chuckle.
"Come now, don't be shy. Tell them. Shall I make an example of a few them? Maybe cut their heads off? We could torture them, flay their skin from their bodies until they realise how much they should worship you."
"I don't..." Sarah's breath heaved as he unstuck the knife from the table. Yet Jareth paid her no mind.
"Her people slaughtered. Her people raped, and pillaged and killed and tortured and the list goes on. But do you forget Gregor, that we did the same thing? Was it not your father who led the battalion into the homes of human households and took the women from their beds, chained them-"
"You will speak no more of it-" Gregor began to glower, flinching at the battle cry that sounded from Jareth at the interruption.
"I will do as I like! And that is what you don't seem to understand. I will do and say as I very well like. And you ask me why? It's because I can. And I shall. Your father was a rapist. A vicious one at that."
Gregor was silent, his eyes burning. Jareth seemed to savour it.
"Oh what? No words? Because you all here seem to forget of our own atrocities, yet you remember those of what her ancestors did so many generations ago that not a drop of their tainted blood lurks within her?" He gestured to Sarah, and to her surprise she saw a few sympathetic looks cast her way.
"Do you not remember Jareth? Do you remember your mother? Are you so ready to forget that? Even when the scar of it lies so plainly on your face?" The quiet words sent a collective gasp tearing through the crowd, ripping Sarah from her reverie. Her mind fumbled to catch up as she saw the thin thread of Jareth's patience finally snap. With nothing less than a growl he placed one hand around Gregor's neck.
"Do you truly wish to speak of such things? Do you truly wish to test me anymore?" He spoke through gritted teeth that sent a lump to Sarah's throat. Dressed all in black and bathed in the light of the moon…he looked like a demon.
"I see you hear and yet your tongue does little to respond. If it is so useless I will make away with it-" As Jareth gripped his jaw Sarah gasped a little.
"I apologise Your Majesty. It was a tragedy. A terrible one at that. We shall speak no more on it." Gregor muttered as best as he could through the iron grip on his jaw.
"Oh, is that your command oh wise and powerful Sire?" Jareth mocked softly. The man was silent, eyeing his King in alarm as he awaited his fate.
"It does not sit well with me to leave such mockery unpunished. Sarah, my offer stands...what would you have me do with him? What would be a satisfactory punishment for you? Shall I cut his tongue out?" He called over his shoulder to her. Sarah felt her lip tremble.
"Jareth...please don't."
"Don't what?"
"Don't hurt him. Please. I forgive him, it's okay. I forgive."
Jareth cast a glance to Sarah's frightened face, pale and shadowed in the firelight and felt a spark of triumph. Good girl.
He gripped Gregor's chin harder, lifting his face to view her.
"I tell you now man, past friend or not, it is only by the good grace of that woman there that I will not gut you and trail your innards on traitors row for all to see. You speak such blasphemy I hardly think I want to let you live. Yet Sarah, she is kind and compassionate. Things we strive to be but can never quite achieve. I know if I slit your throat here and now she would never forgive me of such an act, she would be sickened by the sight of me. So, purely to ease her soul and not burden her heart with the sight of your blood, I will spare you."
Sarah trembled as she looked in the man's eyes.
"Is that not kind? Is that not generous? Believe me, it is not what your father would do. Do you have no words to thank her? No pleas of forgiveness and declarations of loyalty you wish to speak?" Jareth shook the man's head, urging him to speak.
"Thank you, Your Grace. I am forever in your debt." After he spoke Jareth released him, almost immediately falling back into his usual self.
"There now. Was that so unpleasant?"
Sarah ogled at him as he returned to her side, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. It was almost as if his rage had left just as quickly as it had begun.
In the silence he sniffed, observing the quiet company before him.
"This girl who begs for mercy over a man who insulted her and questioned my will…this small, young human girl spared his life. Tell me again, how very vengeful she is. Tell me again how dangerous she is and I will do nought but laugh, because I warn you, she is far less dangerous than your King. You will all do well to remember that."
Ever so slowly, the people began to bow low, signifying their obedience and submission. As Sarah watched them in awe she spotted Marie's golden head lift slightly.
"Long live Queen Sarah, the most merciful of us all." She called out quietly, a soft smile following her words. Jareth seemed to stiffen with barely contained joy as the crowd repeated the statement, loud and ringing through the hall. But more than that it sounded like they truly meant it. Sarah nodded politely to them, trying to withhold the smile that threatened to burst across her cheeks.
"I apologise to you all, but Sarah and I are rather weary. We must retire. But please, do stay and enjoy yourselves. We could all use a drink." Jareth smiled lightly, placing his hand on Sarah's shoulder and disappearing into the night.
From a far shadow in the corner of the room, Lukin chuckled in satisfaction.
The roar of Sarah's silent bedroom seemed to drown her mind in white noise, her breath still hitching in her throat as she observed the way Jareth leaned against her window. He looked like he had almost transformed from the fearsome creature that had bellowed across the ballroom to the man she had begun to know. She licked her lips as she contemplated once more just how easy it was for him to change his character in such a way.
He looked so tired, pressing his forehead against the smooth stone and seemingly relishing in the cool chill of it against his skin. Ever so slowly, he heaved a long sigh, standing straighter to shuck off his jacket and leaving himself in only his flowing back shirt for warmth. He spied a glance at Sarah, still clad in her magnificent gown. He winced at the discomfort so plain across her face.
"Did I scare you, Sarah?" He said softly, taking in her rigid stance and shallow breath. Her brow twitched as she thought about lying for a moment, but then realised it was no use to do so to him anymore.
"Yes." She could only murmur, watching him as he bowed his head and bit his lip.
"Do you understand why I did it?" He asked, almost pleadingly.
She was silent for a few moments before answering.
"Yes."
It seemed like that had been the declaration he had been waiting for, his chest heaving with the release of his breath. Attempting a small smile he walked to her, stroking her hair almost absentmindedly as he fixed his gaze on a spot over her shoulder. Sarah swallowed as the warmth of his fingers ran through the strands, untangling whatever knots he found in his path.
"They all thought me weak. They think me under some enchantment by you. I could not allow them to believe it even for a second. If I did not make an example of him they would all think it fine to treat me in such a way. There are things about my character that you will not like. Things I must do as King that you will despise. But as long as you understand them, you will know I act out of necessity, not pleasure." Even though she had declared her support, it seemed that he still felt the need to explain. She could not bring herself to smile, instead she flicked her gaze to his pale face.
"I know."
"And you did very well, Precious. Sarah the Merciful they will call you now. It is perhaps the best outcome we could have hoped for." His voice sounded a little hoarse to her ears. But then she was hardly surprised, the way he had shouted so very loudly. Despite herself, she found that she was relinquishing the stiffness in her body to lean into his touch just a little. For the first time that night, away from so many prying eyes, she felt safe. She tried not to think about the way her comfort came from the man who had his hands woven through her hair, the same man she had been almost terrified of moments before.
"I'm exhausted." She breathed as she closed her eyes, her brow drawing together. Jareth continued the ministrations on her hair as he glanced over his shoulder to the window.
"I am too. But…there is one thing left to do, I'm afraid."
Curiously, Sarah opened her eyes, rather surprised to see his mischievous smirk.
"You made a request of me a few days ago that I forgot to honour. I think I owe someone a picnic."
He led her into the gardens, taking no notice of the chill in the air or the whistle of the wind. Her skin prickled as the ghost of the night hit her skin, but she couldn't help but smile a little at the way he had relaxed so much in her company. His spine was no longer taut and rigid as he held her hand, tugging her along the grass. This was the Jareth she wanted to see, not the fearsome Goblin King. She wondered if he had even realised that the two men were no longer one and the same in her mind.
As they stopped, Jareth seemed to search around for an appropriate patch of grass. Still clad in her dress, Sarah crossed her arms and began rubbing them for warmth. A little thought crossed her and she pondered if Jareth even ever felt the cold. He certainly didn't show it. She started to glance around to distract herself from the discomfort, and as she took in the castle gardens she almost found herself humming at the sight of it. It was certainly beautiful. The moon outside shone almost blindingly white, coating everything it's light touched in a blanket of silver. The grass was swaying gently in the breeze, the rustle of the saplings accompanying the medley of crickets and distant thunder.
"What are you looking for?" She said quietly, unsure of why she was whispering. But Jareth only gave her a light smile, conjuring a tiny crystal on his fingertips.
"The best place to watch the show." He replied, his brow creasing in mock indignation. Sarah looked to him inquisitively as he pointed a finger up at the heavens.
Craning her neck back, Sarah scanned her eyes through the clouds, seemingly spotting nothing. But after a few moments she caught a flash of light in the air as the thunder rolled through her body. Her lips parted softly as tendrils of emerald lights seemed to weave across the black expanse of sky, dancing through the clouds amongst the stars. She returned her gaze back to the world around her and gaped at Jareth.
"What is that?" She whispered in awe, her eyes flitting upwards once more as a rolling crimson seemed to pulse through the atmosphere.
"The Dance of Celeste. When the stratosphere is just right, and everything is aligned just so, you have one of our natural phenomena…" He trailed off as a shot of blinding yellow flashed above them.
With a flick of his wrist he dropped the crystal to the floor, and Sarah gave a raised eyebrow as she watched it shatter, replaced by a few blankets and cushions.
Without a word, he settled onto the blanket, lying back and patting the seat beside him. Sarah followed suit, grabbing the heavy wool and draping it over her lap.
"I thought you could use a treat. Now...just watch." He murmured.
She laid back, her head resting against a small cushion. For a few minutes there was nothing…and then the world seemed to erupt in a spangle of colours, flashing and twirling in so many shades that she couldn't put a name to them all. Vivid purples seemed to spin like Catherine wheels, shades of pink bursting like fireworks. Sarah sighed a little as she settled back into their fort, feeling the light patter of rain against her skin. She supposed this was the Underground's version of a thunderstorm. She rather liked it.
And after a few moments she began to laugh, in wonderment at the sights before her or in some strange release of tension that had built within her she did not know. But for the first time in a long while, she felt truly and utterly content.
So there they lay, side by side, as their eyes tried to comprehend the myriad of sights above them. Sarah couldn't quite put a finger on how long it lasted, but she let out a low sigh when the frenzy overhead slowed, only a few pulses and flares here and there remaining.
"Do you think we're the only ones here?" Sarah whispered, the stars dancing in her eyes as they started to fade. Jareth glanced over at her, a wry smile on his face.
"In the garden? Yes."
Sarah tutted and shoved him lightly with her hand.
"I mean here. In this world. On Earth. Or wherever this place is...Do you think this is it?"
Jareth placed an arm under his head, returning his gaze to the celestial ballet above him.
"I think that would be a foolish thing to presume. You knew not of this place until I brought you here. There may very well be places that neither you or I could have any notion about." He murmured, his eyes following a meandering ray of scarlet disappearing behind a star.
"Kinda scary." Sarah sighed. Jareth nodded lightly.
"I concur. It is strange to think that my whole world, your whole world...it could all mean nothing in the end. The death of this world might be a cosmic event that is inevitable, no matter how hard I try and delay it. Maybe we are supposed to fade."
Sarah turned her head to frown at the side of his face. She hated it when he talked like that. So very defeated and so very…unlike him. Pursing her lips she settled back further into the blankets, twisting her hands in the wool.
"No. No, you're not. If it wasn't for me then you'd never be in this mess." She whispered, feeling the weight of the now familiar guilt hit her. She felt Jareth give a soft shake of his head.
"It would have come eventually."
"But not now." Sarah insisted and Jareth withheld a little sigh.
"Perhaps. But perhaps this is fate. Maybe the Gods are telling me that my time is up."
Sarah twisted onto her side to get a better look at him, scowling as hard as she could at the one cheekbone she could see. Yet still he seemed oblivious to her distress.
"The irony of it. I, who once controlled time, has run out of it."
"Stop it! You haven't run out of anything. This is still working. The ball wasn't a disaster, you said so yourself." She insisted as she observed him in the silver light. She wondered for a moment how she had thought it impossible for him to seem even paler than he was before. It looked like the silver light of the moon proved her wrong.
"You're right, Sarah the Merciful. It just seems I am rather impatient." He attempted a meek chuckle, closing his eyes as Sarah did not seem to share in his mirth.
"My heart, Sarah. I can feel it. It gets weaker every day, bit by bit. So small that I think I'm imagining it. The strain of it all...as King I bear most of the weight on me, I hold this world together more than anyone. And...I'm weak. They were right, I am not the same." The bitter tone in his voice seemed to pain her, and she resisted reaching out a hand to cover his own.
"You've changed. That's not a bad thing." She insisted quietly. Jareth seemed to shrug good-naturedly.
"Isn't it? I am not sure I know myself anymore."
"I know you. Better than yourself it sounds like. And I like this you. I like it a lot actually."
At the sound of her words Jareth shifted his head to look at her, almost a little bit surprised to see her lying on her side so close to him. He pushed the thoughts of their close proximity away and gave her a little sarcastic smirk.
"Truly? Is it not because I let you get your own way now?" He enjoyed the little flash of anger in her eyes and the way her nose crinkled just a little.
"You do not let me get my way!" She cried out, preparing to list all of the instances when she was forced to concede to his will. After a moment, it troubled her to realise just how very short the list was.
"I don't? Oh, Sarah...still after all this time you cannot see just how very generous I have been to you." There was a note of something in Jareth's eyes that threw her back to so many years ago when she had first met him. Something plaintive and longing. It rattled her.
"Why?" She whispered, the memories falling upon her like a plague. She decided she could not look at him as she awaited his answer, craning her head to look at the sky so she could only see the stars.
"Use your words Sarah." He prodded gently. Bastard. He knew exactly what she meant. But still, she played along.
"Why did you...when I was here before..."
"And here I thought you were a wordsmith." He drawled sarcastically, earning yet another nudge from his companion.
"Shut up." She muttered, resigning to let the question fall to dust in her hands. After a few moments of silence the sound of his voice almost made her jump.
"Why did I offer myself to you?" He said quietly and Sarah felt herself freeze. He said what she had been so afraid of saying so easily. How had he done that? She swallowed.
"Yeah. You barely knew me."
Jareth gave a low hum, seemingly making a show of thinking for his reasoning.
"It must have been a moment of madness, I'm sure. If I had known how difficult you truly were I would not have bothered." He quipped lightly. Sarah sighed in exasperation. Why did he have to be so difficult?
"Do you have to avoid the question?" She said, a little too belligerently to her own ears, yet he seemed nonplussed by her attitude.
"I do not care to answer it right now."
"So I have to wait until you're ready to share?"
"That is generally how these things work, Sarah. Yes." His voice was a little sharper now as he tired of her questioning. She scoffed, shifting her body completely to lie on her back and away from him.
"Can you stop getting so defensive?"
"I'm not getting defensive-"
"Yes you are. Every time I say something you don't like or it makes you uncomfortable you make a joke or you get rude." She scowled. Jareth spied a glance at her and smiled a little at the way she did look almost genuinely upset at his lack of an answer. His eyes scanned her face and saw the slightest hint of a blush in her cheeks, sighing internally at how he wasn't the only one being very forthcoming.
"Well, pardon me, Your Grace." He drawled, gratified to simply tease her. Despite herself, she battled a small smile on her face.
"You're so annoying."
"So I've been told." Jareth agreed. They lay in a contented silence for a few minutes and he found himself harking back to his memories of the ball. He was being truthful when he said he enjoyed her company above all others. He had no want or care to be around any of those snide creatures, not when he could be around her. He hoped she realised that. With a harsh swallow and a ragged sigh he gave her some reprieve.
"It is a perfectly pleasant night. I do not wish to ruin it by speaking of what is done and done." He said as gently as his voice would allow, frowning when she pulled a face.
"Well, pardon me, Your Grace." She muttered, mimicking his clipped accent.
"You're an insufferable wench sometimes you know that?" He looked at her in almost wonderment as she met his eye.
"So I've been told."
At Jareth's defeated smile she allowed herself to laugh, and he could not help but applaud her.
"Oh, very witty." He said lightly.
Silence seemed to take them once more, each thinking of questions that should be asked and things that should be said, but whether it was because they were both so exhausted or both so content, neither of them made a peep. After a while it became maddening, and Jareth found the sight of the faint lights in the sky becoming more and more distressing as it served only as a reminder of the words that lingered on his tongue. Steeling himself, he opened his mouth to speak.
"I am proud of you, Sarah. The way you handled yourself was more than I could have hoped for." He said softly, hoping that she understood the absolute sincerity in his words. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that she had taken to plaiting silver blades of grass together as she watched the stars.
"Thank you." Was her simple reply. Jareth swallowed, grimacing as he knew she deserved more than that.
"I am sorry. So very sorry, Sarah…I, I didn't mean-"
"Shut up. It's okay. I told you, you're forgiven." She took pity on him and the way he couldn't quite seem to tip the words from his tongue. It was almost amusing how flustered he seemed to get when someone else had the upper hand. But she didn't take joy in it anymore, she just wanted to forget it all and move past the eventful night. But one thought lingered in her mind, one that she knew if she did not speak it would drive her insane.
"You…uh…you have a lot of ex girlfriends." Sarah said as lightly as she could, plucking another blade of grass from the ground to add to her plait. She tried not to look at Jareth as he opened his mouth, claiming an intake of breath before closing it in defeat.
"I told you I was...I was hardly a respectable young man." He muttered, almost sounding a little too far away, as if he was lost in the memory. Sarah raised her brow.
"They're all very beautiful."
Jareth's eyes twitched as he looked at her. She was jealous. It was clear now that it had certainly been no figment of his imagination. It brought on a strange sense of euphoria within him before it cleared, leaving nothing but confusion.
"Yet it is shallow. A beauty on the outside with a wicked tongue and a shrivelled black heart does not interest me." He settled on firmly. Sarah's lips parted a little as her fingers fumbled on her project.
"Then what am I?" She whispered. He almost blanched at that.
"You...you are a different creature altogether."
As she opened her mouth to ask him to elaborate he spoke again.
"So, little Sarah Williams. How is young Toby?" His voice was so loud and so casual that it made her fingers slip, her nails tearing through the little blades of grass. She stared at him incredulously for a moment, wondering just how he thought she wouldn't notice his not so subtle subject change.
It had been a question on her mind for a good few hours now. She had never really spared much thought to Jareth's feelings for her. She had never allowed herself to if she was honest. The only words she dared throw around were things like fixation, obsession…maybe even infatuation. But at the end of their tumultuous night she had come out of the other end wondering…could he love her? Was he even capable of that? And the way he got so nervous, so unlike his usual calm and collected self when she tried to broach the fringes of the subject…It unsettled her in a way she had never felt before. But looking at his steadfast gaze on the stars above him, she decided to once again, give him mercy.
"Toby? He's good. Just like any other little boy his age. Too curious and too smart for his own good." She said lightly, trying not to betray the disappointment she felt at his reluctance to continue their previous conversation.
"Sounds just like his sister." Jareth smirked, warmed by the memory of the child. He truly would have liked to raise him as his own. After all, he did have his eyes.
"How unfortunate for him." Sarah brought him back from the daydream, and he settled further back into the cushions as he observed a silver smattering of starlight on the outskirts of the moon.
"Are you close?" He murmured.
"Yeah, I mean. We could be closer. I've been a bit distant from him and dad for a while though."
Jareth's ears seemed to prick with the information.
"Truly? Why?"
"I don't know. It's just...they're so content to live normal lives. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I just want more."
Jareth resisted the urge to look at her, forcing his eyes to remain on the cluster of stars, circling in a way that would take them into oblivion. He decided not to press her on the subject, hoping that in time she would reveal more unprovoked.
"Tell me about your mother. What was she like?" He asked instead, arching a brow as Sarah huffed a sigh, settling deeper into the swaths of blankets.
"Linda? Linda was...Linda was beautiful. She was talented."
He wondered for a moment why she didn't call her mother, why she chose to use her name. But then he supposed if he thought about it, it was obvious.
"An actress as I recall." He murmured. Sarah gave a thoughtful nod.
"Yeah, she went to New York to live her dream." Her words were accompanied by some barbed tone that sounded foreign on her tongue, and still he kept his eyes trained on the stars and the destruction.
"She left." he supplied quietly.
"Yep."
"How was that?" He prodded as gently as he could. He felt rather than saw Sarah scowl, her eyes burning with long lost demons she had never truly put to rest.
"How do you think? It was...hard. I just didn't get it."
Jareth was silent as he watched the emotions flit across her face.
"I blamed my dad, for not trying hard enough at first. I hated Karen for just...existing. And I hated Toby because of that too." She muttered, and in the back of her mind she wondered if this was the first time she had ever said that out loud.
"Is that why you wished him away?"
Jareth's voice pierced the fog of her mind, revealing a truth she had never truly wanted to admit. She shifted uncomfortably.
"Yeah. I guess. I just wanted him gone, I wanted my mom back." Mom? How long had it been since she referred to Linda as her mom? A strange prickling erupted in her eyes that she batted away furiously.
"What do you think now?" He continued gently. In another time and another place, Sarah would wonder why it was so easy to open up to him. It certainly wasn't because he had a trustworthy face, quite the opposite in fact. But she would come to remember that it was his eyes. That strange light she so often spotted in them made her feel so very much at ease.
"After I got Toby back...I was angry with her. For leaving, and finding Jeremy and living her life and forgetting me. But now...now I know what it's like to want something more...it's awful to say." Sarah trailed off, threading her hands through her hair that was splayed out across the dew stricken blades of grass.
"Say it." Jareth urged, and in one reckless moment she complied.
"I'm scared I'd do the same thing. I'm scared of abandoning Toby and dad for something better…" Her voice faded into nothingness as she felt Jareth freeze beside her.
"You mean...to stay here?"
But Sarah waved him away, almost as if erasing her words from existing with a shake of her head.
"I don't know. I'm talking nonsense. But I just...I can't be mad at her anymore. She made a mistake, but she lived her dream. And then she died."
Jareth's mind raced. Was that truly the reason she fought to go home so hard? He knew she would be happier in this world with him, and he was sure she knew it too; somewhere in her heart she must know it. But did she resist because she didn't want to become her mother and repeat her abandonment? What a fool he'd been.
"You're not the same, Sarah. If you chose to stay here...you wouldn't be abandoning Toby. Or your father." He implored quietly, wishing that she would agree, see some kind of mercurial light and vow to stay in this world forever. But that was a far flung hope and a foolish one at that.
"I don't know what I'm talking about. Just ignore me." Sarah muttered, shifting back onto her side to stare curiously at the side of his face once more.
Jareth watched her expression and pondered if this was the first time she had ever thought of it that way. Then he supposed if truths were being told he might as well share his own.
"My mother...I was mad at her for a long time too. And my father."
Sarah looked at him, eyes wide with surprise.
"Why?" She whispered, eyeing him curiously as he hissed out a breath, shaking his head as he lost himself in some reminiscence.
"My father...he was a cruel man. He was...everything I fear becoming. He was selfish and callous and brutal and he...he would flaunt his mistresses before my mother. And if she dared utter a word about it, he would...well, he would punish her I suppose." Never before that moment had Sarah seen an emotion written so plainly across his face. Always he had some kind of barrier, some kind of mask that prevented her from digging too deeply. But now as she watched him, she saw nothing short of contempt for the man he once called father.
"I'm sorry. You don't have to talk about it." Sarah ventured gently, swallowing as he waved her away.
"It's fine. The past is the past. He was...a violent man we shall say."
"And your mother? Why be mad at her?" She almost hated herself for asking and she wasn't quite sure why. She had heard murmurings and dregs of conversations about his mother, and all had left her with the question. What happened? What could tear a gasp from the crowd in the ballroom so viciously, what could anger Jareth so? But her curiosity was an insatiable beast. She watched a tic appear in Jareth's jaw as he clenched his teeth.
"Me and my mother, we had a chance to leave the castle, during the war. We had a chance to be smuggled into a village far from here. But she didn't go. She didn't leave. She asked to stay for one more night. And for the longest time I wondered why? Why would you not run? Take me and just flee as far as you could? And then I found out a number of years ago. She was meeting her lover. She wanted one more chance to say goodbye." He observed his gloves as he spoke, seemingly fixated on a little thread that had come out of place.
"She had an affair." Sarah whispered in gentle realisation, her mind filled with images of the kind faced woman and her cruel husband. Jareth scoffed, almost in distaste.
"She was in love. I can hardly blame her I suppose. My father didn't love anything and...she was such a kind woman. She needed love like we need to breathe. And she asked for one more night just to see this man. But that was the night the soldiers stormed the castle…that was the night they killed her. I watched them slaughter her. But in the end I got away. And I always wonder what would be now if she had just left, if she hadn't been so selfish. She could have avoided dying and she'd still be here but no...she risked it all for one night and paid the ultimate price."
Without a word, Sarah entwined her fingers with his.
"Jareth...I could have never have imagined that all this happened to you." She whispered, her heart thrumming at the revelation. He watched his own mother die? Who knew what kind of effect that had on a person?
"Truly? I thought I seemed quite damaged." His laughter rang false, falling away quietly as she did not join his mirth.
"No, I...I just. It breaks my heart." She murmured into his shoulder, flinching when he gave her a cold stare.
"I don't need your pity, Sarah. I do not want it."
"I don't pity you. I care for you and it makes it hard for me to hear it." She let his tone slip, choosing instead to murmur her reply as gently as she could. At the sound of her voice she could tell he relaxed a little, sinking back down into the blankets.
"I don't think I've ever spoken about it to anyone." He murmured in soft bewilderment. Sarah shifted a little closer.
"You can always talk to me. We're in this together now after all, I guess."
He cast a glance to her, some kind of light lingering in his eyes.
"Partners?"
"Partners." Sarah smiled back; enjoying the warmth the motion of his thumb stroking the back of her hand brought her. As she tried to breathe she realised that her chest felt a little tight, her heart thumping like a hummingbird caged within her ribs. She pondered that the memory of him that had lingered in her nightmares for so long had all but vanished now...she could hardly remember why she thought him to be such a hideous creature for so long. Now she realised he was the same as everyone else, damaged and just a little bit alone. Even when he transformed into the raging beast she had so often seen, she was beginning to realise that it was all just an act. He did it either to demand respect or keep someone out. Just how had she never seen that before?
"It's weird; through everything it's like...you've been the one constant I've had in my life. Since I was a little girl, you've always been there." She whispered lightly as she continued to wonder. Jareth pulled an uncomfortable face.
"Whether you liked it or not it seems."
"Agreed. But...if I really think about it...it was nice. Having someone always there." Sarah reassured him. She supposed it was true. Her life seemed to offer her a revolving door of people who never quite stuck around. But he always did.
Before Jareth could feel the warmth of the words she looked at him, a stern expression on her face.
"But that doesn't make it any less creepy. It was weird." She scolded, frowning at him pointedly until he looked away.
"Nobody said it was an orthodox companionship. I apologise if I scared you." He huffed, and Sarah continued to glare.
"You did."
Jareth withheld a sigh. Well, that certainly was a victory short lived.
Sarah softened as she watched his face fall a little, casting her eyes down at the thick blankets as she spoke.
"But...I never thanked you for it. You were always there, whenever I was sad or...about to do something stupid. You were there, and weirdly enough, I'm grateful. I kind of missed you when you stopped."
The delight across his face spurned Sarah to continue talking, even though she knew that she was bumbling through her words now.
"The point of what I'm trying to say...is that you were there for me. Even if I didn't like it you were. And I want you to know that...I'm there for you too. If you ever need to you know, talk or anything." She finished her speech meekly, almost wincing at how inadequate her words were beginning to sound. Yet Jareth was beaming, a hint of his sharp teeth glinting in the light. His eyes sparked mischievously as he sidled a little closer to her.
"Sarah, might I say something as daring as the idea that you have become fond of me?" He teased, and Sarah couldn't help the smirk that played about her lips.
"I think that's too far. An outrageous suggestion I'd say."
"Oh truly? How disappointing." He tutted at her lightly.
"Stop it…I am fond of you. I like you. A lot. Now you've stopped acting like an absolute bastard." With a roll of her eyes she sidled closer, suddenly remembering that strange Earthy smell of him that had accompanied his phantom visits to her in the past.
"Bastard? Your words wound me. Now you've stopped behaving like a brat I find myself liking you more every day." He retorted, scoffing at her audacity. And Sarah knew this was ridiculous, the way his pretty words were making her grin like an idiot. Was she really so susceptible to this? What happened to her wall that Satan himself couldn't tear asunder? But the air of the night seemed so honest between them, so open that she couldn't bear to ruin it all and fortify the barrier. Jareth seemed to share the same realisation, shifting onto his side so they mirrored each other's positions. Slowly, he allowed his free hand to touch a tendril of her hair that lay across the wet grass.
"You asked me before, Sarah…why I asked you to stay the first time. And I suppose it is the same reason why I want you stay this time." He muttered, frowning as he wound the black strands loosely about his finger. Sarah swallowed, waiting with baited breath.
"I feel…however different we are we are much the same. I didn't want to lose that. I think…" He paused, closing his mouth with a grimace. Why? Why did he want her to stay? He'd never really stopped to answer that question logically. He only knew what his heart and mind told him and he followed it.
"You make me feel less alone, I suppose. However utterly ridiculous that sounds." He supposed it was the only true answer he had to give her.
He clenched his jaw as he awaited her answer, a harsh frown on his face as the lights of the sky gave one last battle cry of colour before they would fade away into nothingness.
Sarah swallowed, wondering if she was really about to admit this to the strange man who had so often plagued her dreams and nightmares. But as she met his eyes she knew it was the right thing to do.
"It's not ridiculous. You make me feel less alone too." Her whispered reply came.
As Jareth kept his eyes on her and that feeling of bittersweet tightness erupted in his chest again, he knew it. Looking at her now under the light of the constellations he could feel himself slipping into a realm he'd never truly felt before. He knew he was lost.
The way the light from the swathes of crimson and emerald stars danced across her face was spellbinding, the shadows telling stories on the perfectly white canvas of her flesh. As she closed her eyes, enjoying the delicate breeze he caught a glimpse of the way her downy eyelashes brushed her cheeks, the contrast of it like falling soot in the snow. But she was so much more than a beauty beyond his imagination. Beyond the heaving bosom was a heart as pure as anything he had ever known. Even in her selfishness and rage she was pure, it was a trait that was neither malicious nor sly. It was borne purely from an innocent ignorance. He marvelled that even in her faults she found a way to make them good.
And in that moment he cursed the Gods and praised the demons for such an unholy occurrence, because despite the boundaries of their worlds and lives he was faced with one simple fact that he could no longer deny. He knew why he had done all he had done, he knew why he could feel himself changing and why he so desperately wanted to be a good man.
He loved her. Oh Gods, he loved her. Utterly and unforgivably, he loved her.
He'd always cared for her. Always. But he had barely known her before, he had seen but a glimpse of what she would become and he loved the dream. He loved the idea of her. So much so that he became obsessed with it. He thought for years about how to get her and keep her. He thought that would be the ultimate accomplishment. The ultimate victory.
But now he knew her…now the dream was real and he was falling so much so that he couldn't even bring himself to remember a time before he loved her.
To be in the moment of that confounding realisation...he thought the pain it brought him was the sweetest thing he had ever known.
"What are you thinking about?" Sarah sighed, yet he kept his eyes trained on the last dregs of the emerald haze in the sky.
"Nothing." He whispered, his heart beating erratically and he hoped to the heavens that she couldn't hear it.
As Sarah cast her gaze over him she saw the look of gentle wonderment on his face, and pondered just what the man was made of. She used to think he was borne from her nightmares, a plague upon her deepest fears and a demon sent to tempt her. But now she knew the truth. He was damaged; his soul was fractured into a thousand pieces from the trauma of his youth and the years of isolation. Yet it wasn't pity in her heart, it was admiration. All those years of hate and pain and death...all that evil and yet somehow, he escaped the darkness. He would never be rid of the taint of it on his soul, lurking in his mind and spilling from his tongue, but he wanted to be a good man above all else. And she believed that he could be. More than anything she believed that.
Now she knew that he was borne from no nightmare. He was borne from the same place as she. They were scared and lonely, trying to make sense of a world that was thrust upon the both of them without their consent. He wanted her because he was alone and she was too. In her mind she didn't know if she wouldn't do the same thing. Selfishness, it seemed, had always been a common trait of theirs. But under the light of the dying stars, she forgave him, completely and utterly she did.
And it almost scared her, the way her heart was aching. It was terrifying.
Could she really feel?...No. She couldn't.
But then why was her heart rattling against her ribs? Why was her mind hazy and her breath short. Why was the feeling of his fingers stroking her palm making her dizzy?
She tried to hold the dam back in her mind, but as she heard the small sigh tumble from him it broke.
What a fool she was.
"What are you thinking about?" He whispered back.
She kept her eyes trained on a shooting star as she mustered her reply, watching as it fell down down down into the blackness of the night.
"Nothing."