Maybe I Deserve
Chapter 6
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Morning had finally come. Rain beat against the windows as the clouds took there place in the sky. Tim awoke to find the red-head sleeping peacefully, facing him. A mixture of emotions and feelings filled his body. In one aspect he was happy, but in another he was saddened. He knew that they had done something wrong. But the temptation was too strong for him to object. He wished they could just escape and be together, never to have any worries or problems.
After a while of just staring at her, he gently stroked the side of her face, slowly waking her up. Eventually she opened her blue eyes, only to see him staring at her. At first she didn't realize exactly where she was but when she felt the cool sheets against her naked skin and recognized Tim's face, she knew that what she thought was a dream was in fact reality. Before saying a word she just stared at him and then turned onto her back, starring at the ceiling, trying to make sense of every thing. Tim could tell by the confused and uneasy look on her face that she was wrapping her mind about that night.
"Umm, I'll give you sometime alone so you can get dressed."
"Thank you." she said softly.
Tim carefully covered himself and left the room so she could have some privacy. Once gone, Reba got out of his bed and began to collect her clothes so she could get dressed. As she put on every piece of clothing, her mind began to wrap itself around every thing. She wasn't sure what to think or feel. In fact to be quite honest, besides being a little confused, she wasn't ashamed or upset about that night. She couldn't explain it but guilt was one emotion she didn't feel.
As she made her way downstairs, she found Tim sitting on the couch, waiting for her. She sat next to him and silence once again controlled the conversation, but gaining enough confidence, she spoke up.
"Tim…" she was cut off.
"You don't have to say anything. I know it was a mistake and it was something that shouldn't have happened. I blame myself for taking advantage of your vulnerability. I apologize. I just want to save you the trouble of an explanation. I'll go get my keys and drop you back off to your car."
With that said he left the room. Reba was stunned and a little hurt. What she was going to say had nothing to do with what he'd just said. She wanted to explain about that night and to let him know how she felt. They both sat in the car, no words, no music. Finally making it to where she parked her car, Reba broke the silence.
"Tim, I'm the one that should be apologizing. I know you think that you took advantage of me but its not your fault. Last night I caught my husband kissing the same woman that he cheated on me with. I wanted to get back at him, so he could hurt like I have. So part of me wanting to sleep with you was to get back at my husband."
Tim looked at her with hurt in his eyes. He couldn't believe he had been used as revenge.
"But, that wasn't the only reason. Tim every since that night we met, I've thought about you. A part of me wanted to be with you last night, not because of Brock, but because of something else. I don't regret what happened between us. I felt free, like all my troubles were behind me and I was in a place where nothing else mattered. When I woke up this morning and saw your face staring back at me, I didn't feel shame or regret, instead I felt happiness, relief, and safe. I haven't felt that way in a long time. So please don't think this was a cheap shot because it wasn't."
Tim stared at her, knowing every thing she said was the truth. There were so many things he wanted to say but the words wouldn't come to his lips. Reba slowly got out of his car and made her way back to hers. Before getting in, a pair of hands gently touched her arms. She turned around.
"Reba, don't let this end here. I know I said for just one night but, I don't think I can keep that promise. I need you and I want you."
"Tim, I care for you I really do. But I'm married. I can't break up my family. I know that seems ironic given what happened between us. But I don't think I could hurt my kids like that."
"If you leave today and we never see each other again, the rest of your life you will spend wondering about us and what could have been. I'm not saying abandon your kids, bring them too. Just be with me. Let me love you, like you should be loved. Give me a chance. It could be our secret, no one has to know."
"I don't know Tim. Just give me a few days to think about all of this."
With that, she got into the car and left. Tim watched as her car faded away, wondering if he'd ever see her again.
Reba had finally made it home. As she walked onto the porch she braced herself for what was to come. With a deep breath, she opened the door. No one was in sight. Brock's car was in the driveway, so she knew he was home. Slowly she climbed the stairs, taking her precious time on each step. As she made it to her room door, she took a couple deep breaths and twisted the knob. Surely enough, Brock was sitting on the edge of the bed. His clothes wrinkled, face unshaved, eyes red, and fists clenched. Reba just stood in the doorway, afraid to say a word, instead remained quiet until he spoke. He looked up at her and slowly got off the bed. As he approached her she took a step back, afraid of what he might do. But his harsh look began to fade. He softly began to speak.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the baby, I'm sorry for what happened between Barbra Jean and I. I swear I didn't plan on kissing her, it just happened."
"That's what you said the first time you two were together. When does it stop Brock? Why do you think you can treat me anyway and think I'll be okay with it. One of these days I won't accept your apology. Maybe if I stop letting you come back you'll realize that I'm not taking this from you any longer."
"Reba she kissed me what was I suppose to do?"
"Don't kiss back. But you know what I don't care anymore. Do what you want. Its clear you think you can just walk all over me but that stops now. Maybe I made a mistake by taking you back. Maybe I should've divorced you so you can be with her whenever you want."
"Reba wait…"
"Do what you want Brock. Its pretty clear you don't give a damn about me."
Reba walked passed him and into the bathroom. Brock stood in the doorway, knocking himself over and over.