Chapter 4 "When We Were Young"
Everybody loves the things you do
From the way you talk to the way you move
Everybody here is watching you
Because you feel like home
You're like a dream come true
"Olivia?"
She stopped short on the street, her arms full of Christmas packages, at the sound of her name. Peering over the top of a particularly giant red bow and re thinking these boots now that it had started to snow, Olivia searched the darkness for the sound of the very familiar voice.
Their eyes met and her arms went limp when he stepped into the light. She almost dropped what she'd been holding, but she couldn't disappoint her niece and nephew and so her wits came back to her and she held on tighter. Out of reflex, he stepped towards her to save the day in case she did indeed send her Christmas treasures tumbling into the fresh snow.
"Fitz? What are you doing here?"
They stood on the sidewalk of the ritzy Piedmont neighborhood in front of the huge brick mansion that belonged to her sister Melanie, her husband and children.
"I'm going to the party," he said. "I didn't know you would be here."
She raised her eyebrows. "My sister lives here."
He closed his eyes at having put his foot in his mouth. "I didn't mean that, I mean-I asked and they said you wouldn't be here. I wanted to see you."
But if by chance you're here alone
Can I have a moment before I go?
Because I've been by myself all night long
Hoping you're someone I used to know
"Oh, well, I mean I didn't exactly tell Mel I was coming—I thought I wasn't going to be able to, but I got the last flight out, and I wanted it to be a surprise."
He was smiling at her flashing those gleaming white teeth, and his bright blue eyes were even more intense under the soft warm glow of the street lamp. Snow fell softly around him, and Olivia felt her entire body heat up despite the cold.
"Can I help you?" he asked as he took some of the packages from her arms without waiting for her reply. He then offered her his arm and they were walking towards the house. The closer they got to the door, the more Olivia remembered that she probably should get the hell away from Fitzgerald Grant as soon as possible. He had broken her heart three years ago and she didn't think she could resist him even still. Gently, she removed her hand from the crook of his arm and tried to ignore his disappointment as she reached up and rang the doorbell.
You look like a movie, you sound like a song
My god, this reminds me of when we were young
Let me photograph you in this light in case it is the last time
That we might be exactly like we were before we realized
We were scared of getting old, it made us restless
When the doors opened and her sister and brother-in-law realized that Fitz and Olivia had found each other and that she had surprised them by flying in from D.C., the high pitched screams and hearty laughter started and didn't stop for the next three hours. They drank egg nog, opened presents, had a delicious Christmas dinner, and Olivia treated them to expensive wine—the only culinary talent she had. Fitz made hot buttered rum and sang a song or two and if Olivia hadn't been so pissed at him for being the playboy her sister had warned her about, she really thought she would have swooned when he sang "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire." In fact, his rendition would have been cheesy if he wasn't so damn handsome.
Clutching the mug of rum in her hands, Olivia watched him enchant the room and tried hard not to fall under his spell too. When he finished and everyone applauded, he took a deep bow and laughed his eyes a little glassy from the alcohol. She turned the mug up and finished its contents before discretely stepping out of the room.
It was just like a movie, it was just like a song
I was so scared to face my fears
Nobody told me that you'd be here
And I swear you moved overseas
That's what you said when you left me
"Can I get you anything?" he asked when he found her hiding in the kitchen.
"You can stay the hell away from me," Olivia said, the alcohol loosening her lips. She grimaced at her own words and wanted to apologize, but didn't.
"I guess I deserved that."
"You just left," she said.
"I know."
"I waited."
"I know. I'm sorry, Olivia."
"Why?"
He opened his mouth to answer and she put a hand up.
"You know what, it doesn't matter. We said we weren't exclusive; it was just fun, right? Nobody was going to fall in love."
"Olivia, it was a year of us trying not to fall in love."
She looked at him then and that was a big mistake. The sleeves of his black collared shirt were rolled up his arms and the dark jeans he wore fit snugly in the right places. He had no idea of the effect he had on her as he leaned against the island in the center of the room. She pushed against his chest because he was standing too close to her. Touching him was another big mistake.
You still look like a movie, you still sound like a song
My god, this reminds me of when we were young
Let me photograph you in this light in case it is the last time
That we might be exactly like we were before we realized
We were scared of getting old, it made us restless
"I got scared, it was too much too fast, and though you were telling me you didn't want to get married, everything about what you did told me that you were falling for me. And I knew I was falling for you. But we wanted different things. I want to run for office, you want a private life. Next year, my life is never going to be anonymous again."
It was just like a movie, it was just like a song
When we were young
It's hard to admit that everything just takes me back to when you were here
And a part of me just keeps holding on just in case it hasn't gone
Because I still care
Do you still care?
She looked down at her shoes and knew he was right. She didn't want to be the First Lady of California and that's exactly what she'd be if he was elected Governor someday. They were only 33 years old, but he was on the political fast track and in the next ten years he would indeed be elected to office and maybe go on to the Presidency. She wanted him to have what he wanted.
"I get why you left," Olivia said. "I was more disappointed than I cared to admit at the time, and Fitz, I just couldn't believe what I felt for you." God, someone stop her. The words were pouring out of her mouth and she just wanted to crawl into a hole and hide.
He was standing close to her again and Olivia was sober enough to feel the warmth of his body and the change in energy that never took too long to materialize between them.
It was just like a movie, it was just like a song
My god this reminds me of when we were young
Let me photograph you in this light in case it is the last time
That we might be exactly like we were before we realized
We were scared of getting old, it made us restless
Oh I'm so mad I'm getting old, it makes me reckless
It was just like a movie, it was just like a song
When we were young
He used one finger to nudge her chin up so that she would look up at him. Her face was close to his, but she closed her eyes so that she wouldn't cry. He kissed her lips tenderly and she sighed into the feeling. God, she missed him.
A part of her smiled with satisfaction on the inside. She had known this would happen and secretly she was thrilled to spend the night with him, even if it meant heartache tomorrow.
"Livvie," he said against her lips.
She moaned a little bit and deepened the kiss again; curling her fingers through the belt loops in his jeans and pulling him flush against her.
"We're going to get caught," he chuckled at her enthusiasm. "Livvie, I'm so sorry I ran away."
"I don't want to talk about it. I just want you to come back to my hotel room and serenade me with more cheesy Christmas songs."
He laughed out loud then, a raucous kind of laughter that neither one of them had heard in a long time. Her hands clamped down over his mouth as he moved her into the pantry and shut the door behind them.
"You aren't staying here?" he asked, his voice now deep and low. He kissed her cheek so she could answer, but she was too busy toying with the front of his jeans.
"Are you crazy? I can only put up with my sister for five or six consecutive hours." They both laughed and his forehead fell gently against hers.
"Okay," he relented, taking her hands in both of his to stop them roaming. "Who's going to leave first?"