Doctor Who - American Version - Serial

by RevolutionMan

Doctor Who - Presented as a re-imagining of the show Doctor Who for American audiences. It presumes NO connection to the continuity established by the long running British television series, but absolutely WILL borrow heavily from that awesome/amazing show. Some characters will be re-named. Some "laws" will be broken. A serial adaptation, in script form.

4. Chapter 4 - 5 Percent and Philadelphia

EXT. TENNANT APARTMENT BUILDING – NIGHT

The Doctor, Rose, and Jackie are surrounded by remote controlled co-eds. One of them, Samantha from Rose's workplace, steps forward.

ROSE
Oh my god, it's Samantha.

The Doctor keeps Rose back.

DOCTOR
Don't. She's not herself. Remember Mark.
Samantha stops several yards away.

SAMANTHA
You are the one who refers to himself as the Doctor?

DOCTOR
That's my... well, don't wear it out, anyway.

SAMANTHA
I am Daga Rumm...

INT. UNKNOWN LOCATION

Surrounded by the night, Mr. Little, now called DAGA RUMM, is sitting in a lawn chair by himself in a wooden attic of sorts. There are boxes of Bluetooth headsets piled to the ceiling. He speaks into a hovering crystal holo-generator.

DAGA RUMM
… Grand Beece of Megaress, Third in the Order of Vox.

EXT. TENNANT APARTMENT BUILDING – NIGHT

Jackie crinkles her nose.

JACKIE
What did he call himself? What kind of name is that?

DOCTOR
You are not of this world, then.

SAMANTHA
Neither are you, I think.

DOCTOR
This planet is young, only a few billion years old. Under the Articles of Xennkethi, Amendment 14, Section 1, Sub-section 3, they are protected from unlawful invasion by the Superior Adjunct of All Evolved Races.

SAMANTHA
Even if I recognized such authority, which I do not, this is not an invasion. I bring a great gift to the people of Earth. This planet is rich in resources and these pitiful halfwits haven't any idea how to exploit them. They sit on their little pile of gold, floating in space, twiddling their newly evolved thumbs, when they could be making real money. I plan to educate them in proper interstellar business.

DOCTOR
By brainwashing them?

SAMANTHA
It is the most efficient means of educating a populace, and has the added elegance of being so very American. When I'm finished with them, they'll be welcomed into the interstellar community with open arms... and wallets.

DOCTOR
And what's your cut?

SAMANTHA
Fifty percent.

ROSE
Of the planet?

SAMANTHA
This American society makes its children, and their families, pay for education from when you are mere babies. I've done nothing to violate the established practices of these people.

JACKIE
I thought your tuition was bad.

DOCTOR
I don't want to hear it. They're not ready!

SAMANTHA
Are children ever really ready to grow up?

DOCTOR
I can stop you.

SAMANTHA
No, Doctor, you cannot. But you can be a nuisance, which is why I've come with an offer. If you agree to leave me be, I'll give you... two percent, right off the top.

The Doctor sneers... thinks.

DOCTOR
Fifteen.

JACKIE
Hey!

Rose, equally appalled, grabs the Doctor and turns him around to yell at him.

ROSE
What the hell, I thought you were here to save us from these... these... whatever the hell they are.

DOCTOR
They're aliens, and fairly powerful ones at that. Better to hop on board then get run over. Besides, maybe you could get yourself a piece of the action, too.

Without anyone noticing, the Doctor reaches into his pocket and presses a button on a small handheld device which then begins blinking.

ROSE
Ugh! A piece of the action? Some hero you're turning out to be. You sound more like a gangster thug.

DOCTOR
I never claimed to be a hero. Who said I was a hero?

The Doctor turns back to Samantha.

DOCTOR
Thirteen percent.

SAMANTHA
Be reasonable. I've done all the work. Four percent, and I'll throw in some stock options.

JACKIE
Should we call the police or something?

Rose turns the Doctor around again.

ROSE
You have to save us. That's my friend, and that was my boyfriend up there in the apartment. Taking control of people like that, it's not right.

DOCTOR
If you could be anything in the world, what would it be?

ROSE
What?

DOCTOR
You're graduating in a few weeks, right? What's your major? What do you want to do with your life? Be when you grow up?

ROSE
Is this really the time to-

DOCTOR
What would it be?!

ROSE
School teacher. I want to teach history.

DOCTOR
Really? See, now, that's so interesting. I'm a bit of a history buff myself.

SAMANTHA
Ehem, Doctor, we were negotiating for the planet.

DOCTOR
Right, eleven percent, stock options, and I want Philly.

SAMANTHA
The city?

DOCTOR
Uh-huh. I like it. It's neato.

ROSE
Doctor, please!

Jackie summons the courage to step up to one of the mind-controlled students. She waves her hand in front of him.

JACKIE
I think I'm getting it. You're all having a bit of fun at my expense, aren't you? This is just some kind of sorority or frat prank, isn't it?

She reaches for the Bluetooth device in the guy's ear.

DOCTOR
(to Jackie)
Don't touch that. If you remove it without deactivating it properly, it'll fry his brain.

JACKIE
Yeah, right.

Jackie laughs and reaches for the headset.

ROSE
Mom, don't!

The student slaps her hand away and punches Jackie in the face, knocking her back a few steps.

JACKIE
Ow! Little bastard. I think he broke my nose.

SAMANTHA
Please don't touch the merchandise, ma'am. Doctor, I can do five percent, stock options, and you can have... Pittsburgh.

DOCTOR
Yuck.

ROSE
This is ridiculous.

DOCTOR
Isn't it, though? Nine percent, stock options, and Philly. It has to be Philly. That's gonna be a deal breaker for me. See, Rose, this is history right here. You're going to be present for the business deal of the millennium. Doesn't that excite you even a little?

SAMANTHA
Five percent, skip the options, and... okay, fine, you can have Philly. But I'm offering you a great deal, here.

ROSE
Not at the expense of selling out the planet. Because that's what you're doing.

The Doctor smiles, proud of her.

DOCTOR
Oh, Rose, you're beautiful.

He looks at his watch.
DOCTOR
But actually, I have no intention of selling out the planet. Just stalling.

Tires screech as a white minivan barrels around the corner. It skids to a halt across the street from where they are all standing. The word TARDIS is written on the side in blue letters.

DOCTOR
You know what, Daga, on second thought, I think Rose is right. Maybe we should just save the planet from tyranny and greed, once again.

He grabs Rose's hand.

DOCTOR
Come on, Jackie, try and keep up.

The Doctor lowers his shoulder and smashes through the line of mind-controlled students. Jackie and Rose follow as best they can. They run straight for the van.

SAMANTHA
Don't let him escape!

The students chase after him.

DOCTOR
Get in the van!

ROSE
A strange, white, van with an even stranger man. Yeah, this seems like a good idea.

They all squeeze in the front of the van and the Doctor drives off just before the students catch them.

INT. WHITE VAN – NIGHT

The Doctor drives. Blood pours from Jackie's nose.

JACKIE
Seriously, I think my nose is broken.

DOCTOR
Please, don't get blood in the van.

ROSE
Do you have any tissues?

DOCTOR
Sorry.

Rose looks around for something, then takes off her sneaker. She pulls off a sock and hands hands it to her mother.

ROSE
Here. Use this.

JACKIE
Your filthy sock? You want me to stick your filthy sock up my nose?

ROSE
You have to stop the bleeding.

JACKIE
I'm not using your sock. Give me your shirt and get me to a hospital.

ROSE
You can't have my shirt.

JACKIE
It's only a sweatshirt.

ROSE
I'm not wearing anything underneath. Just my bra.

JACKIE
You went to class like that?

ROSE
Mother.

Jackie growls, then takes Rose's dirty sock and rams it up her nose.

ROSE
Are they following us?

As if on cue, the van lurches forward after being rammed from behind. In the rear-view mirror, the Doctor sees three cars crammed with co-eds chasing them.

DOCTOR
More or less.

ROSE
Ah! Go faster!

DOCTOR
Working on it, dear.

The Doctor veers across three lanes of traffic. Horns blare. One of the co-ed vehicles slams into a medium and its tires are destroyed.

JACKIE
Almighty!

ROSE
Wait a minute, where's the other guy?

DOCTOR
What other guy?

They're rammed again.

ROSE
The guy who drove the van to our street.

The Doctor pulls out the small handheld device from his pocket.

DOCTOR
Daga isn't the only one with remote controlled toys.

ROSE
You have a remote controlled van?

DOCTOR
Timeship, actually. The Tardis.

ROSE
Looks like a Chevy.

DOCTOR
The Telepathic Operational Camouflaged Cockpit, projects the image and functionality of something from this time and planet so it won't be detected. Plus, it's sort of a neat way to get around.

The chase proceeds through a park, where the Doctor narrowly avoids smashing through a bench, then a lit fountain. The second co-ed car isn't so lucky and smashes through both, getting stuck in the fountain, leaving only one vehicle in pursuit.

ROSE
Can't we just fly away or something?

DOCTOR
I said timeship, not aeroplane, or spaceship, or silver surfboard.

JACKIE
Watch out!

ROSE
Doctor!

The Doctor veers to the left, narrowly avoiding a jogger then smashes through a fence, leading the van back out onto the road. He swerves again to avoid a dog-walker.

The chase continues through a McDonalds drive thru, over a curb, into the raised parking lot of a mall. The co-eds follow the Tardis all the way to the top floor, where the van stops just before smashing through a wall at the very edge of the building.

DOCTOR
Right, then.

JACKIE
They're still behind us.

ROSE
What are we going to do?

DOCTOR
Well, that depends.

ROSE
On what?

DOCTOR
I think he'd still probably take five percent and Philly. We still down on that as an option?

-To be Continued...-