Author's Note: Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last chapter. I know the last chapter was hard because we are getting to some of the difficult parts of the story, but remember I promise a happy ending, for the characters I like anyway. So expect good things for Jordan, Betty, Daniel, Amanda, Justin, and Marc. Everyone else, we will see. I am also now taking requests for what character you like to see die.
Chapter 16: For the Sake of Absolution
Jamie wondered if anybody saw him shaking, as he walked into the Meade Publications building. He cannot even look at the stairwell. He wondered if he's ever going to be able to step foot in this building and not think about the baby that was lost. He was currently fighting the urge to throw up as he made his way to the Hudson offices. His mother said that time heals all wounds. She would know because she's suffered two miscarriages and a stillborn child. He was her miracle baby.
He didn't want to be here, but he had no choice. Not only did he have a meeting with Bradford, the devil, at 3 o'clock, the book closed in three days for the May issue and he did not want to put that type of responsibility on his managing editors. Ryan and Nikki were good, but this is his baby, the only baby he still had. He needed to stay busy. It was better than dealing with Marc, Jordan, and "Alex" or whoever the hell the person actually was who called him about two hours earlier.
He tried not to think of that. The man sounded like Alex, but it was impossible. His boyfriend was dead, and whoever called him, was one sick asshole. Marc and Faye said they would take care of it because he had too much to deal with right now, to handle the possibility that somebody was impersonating his dead boyfriend, most likely for extortion purposes.
Okay, Faye actually suggested that the person was probably trying to lure him to the Central Park Zoo at 9 PM for the sole purpose of blowing his brains out, although not in those exact words. It probably pointed to his mental instability that he is letting Faye take care of anything when he despised the woman, just months earlier.
Marisol bringing him espresso and a sandwich, as he walked off the elevator is about the only thing keeping him from crying right now or possibly passing out. (Even looking at his office makes him feel guilty and dizzy.) She normally has a personal rule about getting him a coffee but apparently, she saw that he was a complete wreck, who has only gotten about two hours of sleep in the last two days. He doubted he would get any more sleep anytime soon. He would be staying at the hospital with Jordan, even if she did not want to see him right now.
So, he really did not need Wilhelmina Slater showing up to his magazine with a suppose condolence gift fifteen minutes before he had a meeting with the man who most likely had his girlfriend pushed down a flight of stairs; especially because he's almost positive that Wilhelmina had something to do with it. The wicked witch has connections and according to Marc, a list of special people who can get things 'done'. At the very least, Jamie knew she was responsible for the press now knowing way too much about his personal life.
A part of Jamie hoped that Wilhelmina had enough morality or at least the decorum not to use the death of his unborn child to fuck with him. However, the cute baby teddy bear complete with diaper and boilerplate condolence card was classic Wilhelmina and once again proved that she had no class or heart whatsoever.
When she said she was sorry for his loss, he wanted to punch her and that was before the snide remarks about Marc. This is a woman who sent her only child off to boarding school because she can't be bothered to actually be a mom. What does this woman know about losing a child?
"It's too bad that you can't take any time off right now to deal with your loss." Wilhelmina said with complete insincerity, only enhanced by the fact that the Botox kept her from showing any emotion whatsoever.
"Well, you know how it is when you have to close a magazine in three days by yourself. Well, actually, you don't, since you have only been in charge since Faye had her heart attack." Jamie replies smugly.
"Yes, we're all lucky that I am around to back her up. Soon you will have your own backup with Bradford bringing Ms. Osborne on early," Wilhelmina told him with her classic 'I'm fucking with you' smile.
Monique Osborne was not exactly his first choice for a creative director, even though she already had a decade of experience in the business. She was Bradford's choice, most likely because he was a "friend" of her mother. Rumor has it that that's how she got the position at Wedding Bell at the age of 16 and still became a managing editor at Isabella after spending a little time in mental health rehab, after her husband died.
He shouldn't hold it against her because he knew Daniel was a lot more capable than anyone gave him credit for but he was still worried. As far as he knew Monique was young, a child of the Upper Eastside, and who despite her hard work ethic had a history of sporadic behavior, including the Valentine's Day meltdown of 2003 and punching out Wilhelmina at Fashion Week, two months ago. Actually, her punching Wilhelmina out at fashion week made him okay with her being hired.
"Monique is starting early?" Jamie asked. This was his first mistake. One should know never to show weakness in front of Wilhelmina Slater. She is like a lion waiting to pounce on the weakest gazelle.
"I guess Bradford forgot to tell you. It's for the best that she's willing to start early. I mean with all the bad publicity from what happened to your poor Jordan I'm sure Bradford will see that you need a break. I'm sure Monique will be able to take over, temporarily of course." The way Wilhelmina said, "temporarily" it really meant permanently. Jamie really did not have time to put up with Wilhelmina's head games.
"It might be good to have a break for a little while but I know that I will always have a place to come back to since I actually own Hudson." For a just a second something flashed in Wilhelmina's eyes. Obviously, her Honey Bear never told her that he was part owner. "Also, I didn't have my assistant leak the real cause of Alex's death to celebrity TV. You remember what happened to the last person who started talking about that, and Bradford was sleeping with her too." She was about to say something snide until he stopped her with those words.
"As much as I appreciate your condolences, I have a 3 o'clock with your Honey Bear probably to discuss how best to use Monique Osborne," Jamie said, leaving a annoyed Wilhelmina behind. God, he hated that woman.
XxxxXxxxXxxxX
Daniel walked into Jordan's hospital room armed with pizza, French fries, Godiva Easter candy, and something from Tiffany's. The jewelry and pizza were for Jordan. The fries and chocolate were for Betty. Actually, he had something from Tiffany's for Betty to because he just knew he needed to grovel. Lucy had helped him pick out really good apology presents for being an ass, when she broke the news that she wanted to spend her final months at home.
This meant that he would be in France for those final months, at least. He couldn't resent her for that choice. Since she got sick a couple of years ago, she hasn't had many choices. She should at least have the right to die, where she wanted to, even if it screwed up things with Betty, more than they already were.
However, that meant he was not only apologizing for being in complete denial about the slight possibility that he may have got Betty pregnant without actual sex, but for the fact that he's going to be in Europe for the duration of her pregnancy. He knows that the baby could be his. Marcy gave him enough information on "virginal pregnancies" for him to know that he fucked up when it came to protection and there's a chance he could be responsible for Betty's morning sickness.
It's just that, if this baby is his, it will complicate everything. He can't leave his son/nephew with Lucy's parents. They are horrible people. But he can't keep DJ away from his mom, not when she doesn't have much time left. Then, there was the fact that his father, more than likely paid to have one possible grandchild's Mama pushed down a flight of stairs. He couldn't take it, if that happened to Betty.
At the same time, he doesn't want to be away from Betty. These last few weeks have been miserable. With a baby on the way having her move to France with him isn't practical. She needs her family for emotional support, if nothing else.
If the baby is Walter's, he can easily make the decision to go back to France to take care of DJ and come back every month or two to see Betty. When he says that it is an easy decision, he means it feels like he would be ripping out his heart in two because Baby Betty already has his heart. It would kill him, but he could do it.
But if she is carrying his child, he doesn't know what he would do. He would need to be there for Baby Betty/Daniel, but DJ needs him too. He always resented his father for putting Alex first and he doesn't want to do that with his own children. Baby Betty/Daniel was going to have an aunt and grandfather that loved him or her already, along with a Mommy that was warming up to the possibility and a Daddy who loved him or her to pieces. DJ had a grandma and grandpa who saw him as a paycheck, another grandfather paid a large sum of money to make him go away, a mom who is dying, and him. In reality, DJ only had him. No parent should have to choose between his kids.
Oh, who the hell was he kidding? He really doesn't care about DNA, in regards to DJ or Baby Betty. He already loves Baby Betty and wants to do everything in his power to keep the baby safe. He's scared, especially with what happened to Jordan. A dark part of his mind is sure it was his father who was responsible for her little accident. If the baby is his, Betty could end up the same way.
If the baby is Wilbur's child, then the bastard will try to use it to get to Betty. The guy is nuts and completely obsessed with her. The restraining order really isn't doing anything to deter his obsession. Daniel already had his lawyer trying to find a way to extinguish the idiot's parental rights without him finding out about the baby. He can protect Baby Betty from Wilbur but he's not sure how to protect Baby Betty/Daniel from Bradford Meade. This terrified him.
"If you're here to grovel to Betty for being an ass and lying to her, you are either two hours too late or about three hours too early. She had a class that she couldn't miss." He was mentally going over Betty's class schedule, at Jordan's words, and he was not entirely sure that was actually true but he kind of deserved it. He knew Betty was furious at him.
"So she told you what happened at the drugstore earlier today?" He asked tentatively.
"You mean that incident where she told you that you are the father of her baby, despite me begging her not to say anything to you, and you completely flaked on her?" She phrased it as a question, even though she knew full well that was what he was talking about.
"I did not completely flake on her." Jordan just gives him a look at his defensive words. "Okay, maybe, I reacted badly. I already got screwed over by a paternity test recently, when the odds were really supposed to be in my favor. Maybe, I just don't want to get my hopes up again, especially when we really didn't have sex. I already love Baby Betty and if I start to believe that little miracle is my child and it turns out it's not, I think it will destroy me." Jordan gave him a sad look at his words.
"That's what I thought. I told her that during the middle of her angry rant. Maybe, she would have gotten that point, if she knew what was really going on, instead you purposely kept her in the dark. Because you lied to her about the whole DJ thing, she thinks that you don't trust her," Jordan's voice was not scalding but it might as well be. He feels like a complete ass.
"It's not that I don't trust her, it's just…" Daniel stopped mid-sentence, unsure how to articulate exactly how he feels.
"You're terrified," Jordan supplied for him.
"Yes. DJ's great. He's so much like Alex, it's scary. He is the only piece I have of him left and I just can't let anybody take him away from me," He tried to explain but doesn't know how.
"I get it," she tells him with a sad smile. "You fall in love with your child, the moment you know that they exist. And then because of either a DNA test or a stupid fall down the stairs, it's taken away from you, along with part of your heart." Daniel could actually hear the tears in her voice.
He wanted to say, 'I'm sorry' but he doesn't. He doesn't know what to say. Everything is just so completely and utterly fucked up. Instead, he just grabbed her hand.
"I brought you pizza. The doctor said it was okay." He finally stammered out after a moment, gesturing to the box on the side table.
"I should probably go back to my training diet. There's no need for me to not compete anymore." Daniel just stood there, not sure what to say.
"Look, we have to talk about it. I was pregnant and now, I'm not. The only person I'm sure didn't push me down the stairs is Marc. That's only because Jamie was giving him a blow job at the time. Oh, fuck it." She said, gesturing for the box of pizza. He quickly handed it to her and she ate half a slice in seconds.
"I saw the press conference," he said sympathetically. That was a disaster; according to Marisol it was Wilhelmina's brand-new minion, who spilled everything to the press. Thankfully, the guy didn't know about DJ.
"Yes, but the press conference did not include the part where he tells me about the whole Marc thing after he admits that he's completely in love with me. Why do I keep falling in love with assholes?" She asked on the verge of tears. Daniel really had no idea what to do.
"Here, you can have Betty's Easter candy and the French fries," He said as he gave her more food.
"You popped for the chili cheese fries, and the Godiva bunny. You really do love her." She joked, swiping one of the French fries.
"Yes," he said, grabbed one of the fries himself. "I can't speak for my brother and Jamie but I'm just really good at doing the wrong thing. Okay, I am really great at saying the wrong thing. I'm not sure what to do right now."
That's when he explained everything from the horrible grandparents to the real reason why he was scared. They were both convinced that Bradford was the one who had her pushed down the stairs. He also told her about how it terrified him that he would not be able to protect Betty, DJ, or the baby. By the end of it, the French fries were gone and both of them had started crying at least once.
"I don't know what to tell you." Jordan held his hand again.
"Thanks a lot." He replied almost sarcastically.
"I mean, I've been doing everything possible to keep the baby safe and I was undone by a flight of stairs and probably, a hit man." She tried to pass this off as a joke, but it fell flat.
"That was most likely hired by my father, and it's probably a small miracle that Betty didn't end up the same way. Why do my kids have such screwed up grandparents? I have to be in France, at least until the custody situation is straighten out. If you consider how screwed up Lucy's parents are, that's not going to be settled until Baby Betty is in pre-K. I can't be in two places at once; even if I wanted to." He told Jordan, almost on the verge of crying again, which is something he doesn't want to do. He doesn't like being this vulnerable.
"I hate to say this, it may be better, if you're in France," Jordan told him in a whisper.
"What?" Daniel asked kind of in shocked.
"Okay, maybe it's the medication talking, but I need you to hear me out. Bradford only freaked out about the baby I was carrying because he thought it could be Alex's child. Your father is going to be worried about your kid, not Wilbur-I mean Walter's kid. Great now you have me calling him the wrong name," Jordan said, giving him an annoyed look.
"What are you trying to tell me?" Daniel asked still confused.
"If you're in France taking care of DJ, he's not going to think Baby Betty is your child," Jordan suggested.
"Are you crazy?" He spat out, without even thinking. "Betty told me that you were trying to convince her not to tell me."
"I don't know. They do have me on a ton of antidepressants at the moment, but that's mostly because I lost my baby and my boyfriend in the span of about four months." In that moment Jordan sounded defeated once more. For a woman as strong as her to sound like that, it was unnerving.
"That was probably a poor choice of words," Daniel said as a way of apologizing.
"Probably. You have two kids to keep safe, mostly from their various grandparents. You have to do what you have to do. My suggestion is focus on the little stuff like getting a DNA test to prove to yourself that Baby Betty is yours; despite the fact that the gynecologist is pretty sure the baby is yours," The last part was directed at him with a very dark look from Jordan.
"The lawyers said the same thing. If the baby is mine, I need to set up a trust and maybe, get a restraining order against my father," He mumbled the last part under his breath.
"I would consider doing that anyway." Jordan mumbled under her breath.
"If the baby is not mine, we are going to need to terminate Wilbur's parental rights and start adoption proceedings as soon as possible." He told her absently.
"You really do love her and she isn't just a quick fuck to you?" Jordan asked almost happy.
"Yes, I do," Daniel told her looking her directly in the eye. Her response was to smile at him. It's the first true smile that he has seen from her since this nightmare begun.
"Then, the next thing you're going to do is get down on your hands and knees and beg Betty for forgiveness. I don't think the French fries will cut it. Although, the adoption papers probably will, but again, the gynecologist is pretty sure the baby is yours," Jordan told him snidely.
"I did stop at Tiffany's before coming here," He said, showing her the giant bag from the store. He only brought a couple of the things with him. Everything else will be delivered to Betty's apartment along with a box of chocolates and two dozen daisies. Nigel suggested long stem roses, but he knew Betty would prefer the daisies.
"You did not get her an engagement ring, did you? Because the proposing just because you may have got her pregnant thing might just get you slapped right now," Jordan told him in all seriousness.
"Of course not," There is no need to let Jordan know that he bought an engagement ring weeks ago in Paris long before he knew about Baby Betty. Jordan went straight for the blue bag that he dangled in front of her with several blue boxes inside.
"I bet Nigel is a very happy man right now." He probably was considering Daniel bought one of every single thing they had in the baby collection to show Betty that he was committed, no matter what. However, if Jordan opens the box that says 'baby's first curl' Daniel's not sure what reaction he will see from the woman in front of him.
"One of those boxes is for you." He reached into the bag to get her present before she breaks out into tears because she opened the wrong box.
"So you got me an 'I'm sorry you had a miscarriage' present from Tiffany's? I didn't know they actually have gifts for all occasions," Jordan joked but once again the smile did not reach her eyes. There was no humor there.
"I got you a charm bracelet. When you're feeling better you can pick out whatever you want, Nigel will take care of it for you." He handed the box to her.
"Why is there a pair shoes on here?" She held the bracelet up.
"When we were little Alex was always wearing mom shoes around the house. The charm made me think of him." Daniel told her wistfully.
XxxxXxxxXxxxX
Bradford sat in his office with brandy in hand. He needed it for this conversation with his deceased son's boyfriend. He doesn't like being around Jamie because it reminds him of how badly he screwed things up with Alex. If things were different, the man in front of him would have probably ended up his son-in-law, especially if Alex actually went through with gender reassignment surgery.
If he could take back what he said, he would. He had too much brandy and wasn't thinking straight. After dealing with having a dead son since January, he realized that he would have preferred a living daughter. There's not enough brandy to take away the pain of knowing that he was the one solely responsible for Alex's death. It's something that he will take to his grave.
When he first found out about Jordan being pregnant he felt that, maybe, he was given a second chance and maybe, a piece of Alex still existed in the world that he could at least visit from time to time. He did not by the lie that they told him about Jamie being the baby's father.
The two hated each other too much for the two to have had a sexual relationship, prior to Alex's death. Of course, Jamie and Jordan both despise him for the role he played in the death of their lover, and therefore, would easily join forces to punish him by whatever means possible, including keeping his grandchild from him.
He already lost DJ. Lucy's only condition in their agreement was that he had no contact with DJ; that possible relationship was already poisoned before the DNA test actually confirmed the existence of his first grandchild.
At his lawyer's suggestion, he utilized the Solomon technique to find out if her claims were really legitimate. The result was she actually did loved her child and she wasn't just using the child to get money from him. Of course, the situation with her parents was entirely different.
Contrary to what Daniel accused him of the day before, he only did what he did because he did not want his sons at each other's throats, due to one temporary indiscretion on Alex's part. Daniel would never forgive Alex for sleeping with the woman that he thought he was in love with and had gotten her pregnant, or so he assumed. Years later, he realized that Daniel was a much better person than he thought, through no fault of his own.
Too many times he has done what he thought was best for his children, only to realize that he was completely wrong. Alex was dead. Daniel would probably never speak to him again for multiple offenses from being responsible for Alex's suicide to hiding DJ from him.
Because of that, he is now sure that Daniel will never even allow him in a room with DJ. Worst of all, Claire served him with divorce papers. Worst of all, his second chance at having a grandchild was gone.
Despite all the security measures in place, somebody had broken into his building and pushed the mother of Alex's child down a flight of stairs. He should've never suggested that she interview here. He assumed that a nice job at Sports Now would be safer than bungee jumping. It was another decision that he would regret. Sometimes, he wondered if the only good decisions he ever made were solely relegated to the business realm.
"Look, let's just get this over with. I know you don't want me to be here and I don't want to be here. If you're going to fire me and replace me with Monique Osborne, can we please just get it out of the way? I would rather be at the hospital with Jordan anyway." His words were surprising, well, not all of them, but especially the last part.
"I was informed that she slapped you the day before." He took another slow drink of the brandy.
"Most people don't take it well when you confess your love at the same time you inform the person you slept with somebody else. Although all things considered, you're probably well aware of that," Jamie said in a way that would probably get any of his other editors fired.
"Look, what's going on between me and Jordan is none of your concern." Under other circumstances, he would mention that as the public face of Hudson magazine his personal life was Bradford's concern. However, considering the icy glare he was receiving. He was well aware such comments would be in poor taste, if nothing else.
"I'm pretty sure you or your girlfriend paid to have my girlfriend pushed down the stairs, so our baby would go bye-bye. Really, there's nothing left for us to talk about, but business. So let's talk business. Wilhelmina informed me that Monique Osborne is coming on board early." The accusation did not surprise him. He heard similar from Claire and Daniel. He cannot repeat most of what Daniel said to him in polite company. Almost every other word was an expletive.
"I had nothing to do with what happened to Jordan." He said defensively.
"That's a fucking lie. You have been nothing but trouble since you found out about the baby. It was not even Alex's baby, so there was no need for you to worry about your precious family image being tarnished, due to the existence of another illegitimate child. That's all you ever cared about." Jamie practically screamed at him.
"That wasn't why. You were keeping my grandchild from me. Do you expect me to believe that you were the father? You would do anything for Alex, even pretend to be the father of his unborn child, if it was necessary. I know that you loved him that much." He took another drink of brandy to hide the emotion in his voice. "You and Jordan hated each other too much for me to believe that all three of you were in a relationship together."
"Well, things aren't always what they seem. We were not trying to keep your grandchild away from you, even though you deserved it. You killed Alex." Jamie actually said in tears. The last time he saw Jamie cry was at the will reading at the point in the video were Alex confessed that he was in love with Jamie.
"I know that. Don't you know how many times I wish I could take back what I said? I know I said the wrong thing. I'm sorry. I'm sorry he's dead but I had nothing to do with what happened to Jordan. I would not kill another piece of Alex." A lone tear slid down his cheek.
"I believe you, but I don't think I can ever forgive you." Jamie said walking out the door.
To Be Continued
Author's Note: I know everybody was looking forward to the confrontation with Alex in this chapter but with everything with Bradford, I felt it was just too much drama for one chapter.