Author's Note: Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last chapter. We are really getting to some of the more "fun" parts of the story.

Chapter 22: Please, not the Eggs

'Monique Osborne is a goddess.' Daniel thought to himself when he woke up to the site of bottle water and Tylenol. On top, there was a little note that said:

I know you're going to need this. I'm heading back to New York now because my boss, who will not be named, needs my help because one of our underlings completely fucked up and we lost the subject for the November cover and MODE has already taken custody of Marc. But if you need to talk to somebody who did not completely fuck you over, call me.

P.S. My hairstylist and her son are staying over in the guest house, so you may run into her in the kitchen. I owe her a favor for being willing to take over as the hair and makeup person for the shoot on such short notice. Be nice.

He throws the note on the bed and consumed half the water and the Tylenol before even making it to the bathroom.

He really tried not to think about Betty in the shower. He was still angry with her. As DJ's father, Daniel understood why she did what she did. There is not a thing that Daniel would not do for his son, both of them, and that included walking away from Betty. It would be his last choice, but he would do it. If you think about it, moving to Paris was just that.

Even though Betty would not allow him to adopt Alex, there is this part of him that just knows Alex is supposed to be his. He just felt it the first time he held Alex. And bad DNA test results and lack of adoption papers will never change what his heart felt for Alex Suarez. If Betty told him what was going on, he probably would have agreed to breaking up, at least, publicly if that was their best option to keep Alex and apparently DJ, as well as, her father safe. The fact that she was making the sacrifice for DJ, made him feel - conflicted and maybe just a little bit more in love with her.

However, Betty didn't trust him enough to tell him the truth. She made the decision to end their relationship without talking to him or examining their other options. That's what hurt him the most, and yet, he still couldn't hate her.

So even though he was still furious at her, she was still the subject of his early-morning shower jerk off. Actually, because he was furious at her was probably the main reason why she was the subject of said morning jerk off. It wouldn't be the first time that he used anger because some part of him may just be a little masochistic.

Also, because he was a masochist, he checked his voicemails and emails simultaneously once he's dressed for the day. Okay, he was checking his messages because even though, he dropped off the grid he was trying to be a responsible adult, and he was hoping that his lawyer got back to him about the whole "Alex really isn't dead" situation and how it will affect DJ's adoption. (Also, while he's looking for the lawyer's message he goes to DJ's room because he just needs to make sure he's safe.)

He currently had 49 messages and not a single one are from his overpriced lawyer, which is extremely annoying. There are also no emails from the extremely overpriced lawyer. That's enough to make Daniel consider getting a new extremely overpriced lawyer to handle the custody thing. For what he's paying the woman and her staff, she should call him back immediately, even though Daniel may have called her slightly drunk the second or was it the third time.

The only slightly lawyer related message is from Faye letting him know that the will reading would not be happening since the woman was smart enough to know that it would be a really bad idea to put him, his mom, sister, and Wilhelmina Slater in a room together right now, which was just asking for somebody to get arrested, especially given the fact that they all hated Wilhelmina enough to put away their personal grievances and join forces to strangle her. There was also a message from her daughter, Amanda. Considering that Amanda was Betty's best friend, roommate, and soon to be stepsister, he decided to skip over that message for now.

He also had three from his big boss in Paris and thankfully, they were all work-related asking him to come back early. Those messages were promptly ignored. Seriously, he was here to bury his father, and she's calling him about work. Daniel wondered if he had the authority to fire her now.

There were four messages from Nico and were basically filled with expletives directed at her mother, as well as her asking him to call her back so that she can know that he really was okay. He sent her a quick text message because he was just a little too hung over for an actual phone conversation.

I'm fine, just your pseudo-aunt makes really good margaritas. But at least she's kind enough to provide Tylenol and water in the morning. DJ is still sleeping, but I'll have him call you.

There were probably a dozen messages from Betty. He listens to the first one, which was basically her in tears asking for him to call her back. He almost did, but he doesn't think that he can actually get through a phone call without getting pissed off. It's just not possible right now. He saved the rest of the messages without actually listening. He's too hung over for something that emotionally involved.

There were four voicemails each from his mom, Alexis, and the lovers. Daniel deleted all of these without listening. He just couldn't take hearing their voices right now. It just made their lies hurt just a little bit more. Maybe in a few weeks he can be happy about Alex not being dead. But not today.

There's even more emails. Everything from his mom and Jordan are immediately trashed. Stuff from Jamie is put in a separate file because there may be work stuff in there, but he can't bring himself to look at the messages right now. The email from Alex - sorry, Alexis, almost gets trashed as well without being read but the subject line of "I'm sorry. And no, I'm not going to take DJ from you", makes him read the message.

From: Alexis_Summers

To: MeadeDB (Mode Paris)

Subject: I'm sorry. And no I'm not going to take DJ from you

I'm sorry. I've been saying those words a lot over the last few months. And honestly, I understand if you don't even read this far. You have every reason to hate me for what I put you, mom, Jordan and Jamie through. Trust me, Daniel, I realize that I fucked up by faking my death. At the time, Wilhelmina had me convinced that no one would miss me and thinking my death was the only way for me to ever be myself.

I hated being Alex Meade. I hated being in the glass closet. I hated being in a body that didn't feel right. I actually thought about killing myself more than once. I think if Wilhelmina didn't suggest what she did, I would have. I think I tried to explain this to you yesterday, but you didn't listen to me. Okay, it was more like you were not ready to listen to me. I don't blame you.

I think the thing your most upset about or maybe the most worried about is if I'm going to take DJ from you. DJ is your son. And it's not just because we both know that courts would never give custody of a child to a transgender woman who faked her own death rather than grow up and face everything like an adult. (We are not even going to address my polyamorous lifestyle because we both know that would be just another strike against me.)

You were the one who stepped up and took care of DJ, even when the DNA test said that you didn't have to do anything. You're the one who has been with him through this horrible year of watching Lucy die. You have held him when he cried and have taken care of DJ when he's been sick. You will always be his dad, and I won't take that from you. At best, I was a mere sperm donor. I'm not father material or mother material for that matter. That's all you. If Jamie and Jordan finally decide it's time to try to get pregnant again, I've already decided that their kid would just see me as Aunt Alexis.

I would like to be DJ's Aunt Alexis if you're willing to let me be in his life in any capacity. Baby Alex already sees me that way anyway. Now you just need to work on making Betty my sister-in-law. Call her. You guys need to work this out.

Daniel rolled his eyes at the last part. Of course, Alex would add that in. New breasts, but same old asshole. Alex loved to get involved in his personal life, when he wasn't trying to fuck Daniel's girlfriends.

He doesn't reply. He's not ready to. There's too much heavy stuff in there like the fact that Alex really was suicidal. It just makes him angry that Alex never told him about this stuff when she was going through it.

He's just about to back up and listen to Amanda's message when DJ actually woke up. Despite being somewhat hung over, Daniel realized the importance of actually making breakfast for DJ.

Of course, the moment he walked into the kitchen he saw Betty's sister standing at the stove cooking something that sort of looked like an omelet, but it was all scrambled. The moment he smelled the eggs, he felt like he was going to throw up and barely managed to make it to the half bathroom off the kitchen before he did get sick.

"I think there's mouthwash in there." He heard her say at the same time that the exhaust fan kicked on in the kitchen.

"Why do I have a feeling you decided to make eggs this morning because you still hate me?" Daniel asked actually finding the tiny bottle of mouthwash.

His relationship with Betty's sister was actually better now than it was in the beginning, but that probably has something to do with their truce. Okay, it may have something to do with the fact that Daniel pretended to be her rich boyfriend last Thanksgiving, when Justin's sperm donor tried to make her feel horrible. Daniel hated the guy, especially because he made Justin feel horrible for not being into basketball and other traditional 'boy stuff' (when he actually bothered to acknowledge that he had a kid).

"More like it's one of the few things I can cook that are not cupcakes." She said, in all seriousness.

"Betty says you also make a good quesadilla." He joked after he spat out the mouthwash.

"However, I think Pillsbury sticky buns will work better." She said as Daniel heard the sounds of her rummaging around in the kitchen.

"Although, you're probably going to need my hangover special." Just as he walked out of the room something red in a glass was passed to him. Thankfully, the kitchen no longer smelled like eggs.

"I'm assuming this has alcohol in it?" He asked tentatively taking a drink.

"Just a little." Those words resulted in him taking another drink.

"Is your sister here?" He asked tentatively because if Betty was here he was grabbing DJ and getting the hell out of there.

"No," She answered as she pulled a baking sheet from one of the many cabinets. "She still in Manhattan with Amanda crying because you haven't returned one of her 20 phone calls after you accidentally found out that she left you against her will because of the bitch."

"It's only been 12." Hilda just smiled at his comment as she started lining the tray with sticky buns.

"No, she doesn't know that you're here." She said after a moment.

"I assume she would be accosting me with apology coffee if she did." Daniel said, taking another drink.

"Monique told me not to tell her where you were before she left for Manhattan this morning. My son loves you, so I didn't even have to bribe him to keep quiet."

"Justin is here?" She just nodded her head. "Wait, why are you here?"

"Monique said she was going to explain what was going on." She said, putting the sticky buns in the oven.

"She said that her personal hairstylist was staying in the guest house with her son as a 'thank you for saving the Hampton shoot' gift. I guess she was talking about you."

"Yes. I'm very thankful since I missed everything that happened yesterday, even if I'm probably going to be yelled at by my sister when I get back for not being around to babysit. Even under Kenny's supervision, Alex ended up covered in blue paint." She said, passed him her phone so he could see the cute pictures of baby Alex covered in paint. Maybe he should just be glad that his son is only breaking out in tears after spending a day with Amanda.

"You're not going to tell me to call your sister?" He asked as he passed back the phone.

"No. I didn't talk to her for a week after I found out she kept this from me. If I knew that the bitch was blackmailing my family, I would've ripped her weave out." Knowing Hilda as well as he did, he could see her doing this. She was very protective of Betty.

"I would have loved to have seen that." Daniel chuckled. "How did you even find out? I doubt that she would've told you."

"Wilhelmina's flying monkey Carlo has a big mouth and said the wrong thing to Marisol. Faye and Marisol are old friends from the neighborhood and therefore, Marisol tells her everything. They confronted Betty at a family dinner, and I found out that my parents came here illegally after my dad killed my mom's first husband, who apparently thought it was his duty to beat the hell out of his wife. Also, sometime during this crazy confession, Faye asked my father to marry her and I don't think it was for immigration reasons."

"Sorry," Daniel choked out not knowing what to say.

"Don't apologize. Besides, your family secrets are worse than mine," she said, sitting beside him with a cup of coffee waiting for the cinnamon buns to get ready.

"I don't know, nobody died." Daniel said with a shrug.

"At least not anymore, apparently. Is it true that your brother came back from the dead as your sister?" She asked, taking a drink of the coffee.

"How do you even know about that? Just please tell me this is not all over fashion TV." He said putting his head on the table.

"My almost stepmother is Faye Somers. She knows everything."

"Good point. I'm not even that mad about the sex change. I mean, I've known that Alex wanted to be Alexis for almost 2 years now. I'm a little bit more upset about the fact that she decided it was better to pretend to be dead than to actually talk to me about this."

"Do you need a little bit more alcohol in that?" She asked, pointing to his glass.

"No. I need to be somewhat sober for when I tried to talk to DJ about why he doesn't want to go back to France."

"Because his grandmother and aunt are here?" Hilda supplied.

"I don't even- could we not mention my family for the rest of this conversation, at least, that branch of it. I need a little time to adapt to the latest batch of deep dark Meade family secrets."

"Okay, I promise not to talk about any of your family members other than DJ. Did you think to ask Amanda what happened?" She suggested.

"No, when I arrived I was still mad about Betty and Amanda was in the bathroom with Alex. Now, I guess she was trying to make him not blue."

"No, she left that for my sister. She was trying to get the blue handprints out of her hair. Kenny sent me pictures of that."

"I guess I should call her," he said grabbing his Blackberry. He's known DJ long enough to know that his son was not going to tell him anything useful. It's been over a month, and they still haven't had a very meaningful conversation about Lucy yet.

Of course, when he calls, he got Amanda's very inappropriate voicemail about her not being able to come to the phone because she and Kenny were most likely already cumming.

That's when he remembered that Amanda left him a voicemail earlier. He quickly cued up the message as Betty sister continued to drink her coffee.

"Daniel, I'm sorry, but I kind of told Kenny that DJ is not your biological son and apparently DJ overheard our very private conversation. We'll talk about it when you pick up DJ."

"That conversation never happen," Daniel said as soon as Amanda stopped speaking. "That explains why my 12-year-old is freaking out." Daniel said, just as he was about to exit out of his voicemail. However, he heard Kenny start to speak.

"You should also apologize for accidentally referring to Alex as DJ's brother in front of the kid." He heard the accountant say to Amanda in the background.

"It's probably best if I don't say anything about that. Daniel doesn't know that Alex is h…" At that moment, Hilda ripped the phone out of his hands and threw it down the garbage disposal.

"Why did you do that?" He asked in complete shock.

"Probably because she didn't want you to find out the truth about Alex until I arrived with the DNA test." He heard Faye Somers say from the doorway.

"Seriously, did you have to do that? Vivian Windom-West is going to be furious that you broke her garbage disposal." Hilda just responded by shrugging.

"I thought you didn't tell anybody I was here?" He asked Hilda with a glare.

"My step mom doesn't count," Hilda shrugged again.

"Look, just read what's in the folder and then I will fill you in on everything Amanda almost told you."

"What's this?" Daniel said, eyeing that folder dubiously.

"Alex's paternity test." Faye answered simply.

"I don't need to look at another test. The last one I took said that I was not Alex's father. I don't need to go through that heartbreak again." Daniel told her pushing the test away.

"That was the test that the bitch fixed to guarantee that she would get a bigger slice of the pie once she convinced your father to give her another chance and put a ring on it." Hilda spat out bitterly. "We didn't figure that one out until Betty went in labor prematurely, and we didn't even know it because her gynecologist was on the evil one's payroll. We could have lost Alex because of that lie."

"What?" Daniel asked confused.

"Just look Daniel." Faye said using the tone that made her the most feared woman in the fashion industry. He felt like he had no choice but to look when she spoke to him like that. Daniel has read enough test results in his life to understand immediately. With 99.99% certainty, Alex Suarez was his son. As he lost consciousness, his only thought was Wilhelmina will pay for this.

Author's Note: I decided to end the chapter here because the conversation between Faye and Daniel needs to be its own chapter.

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