Recap:

Snuggling deeper into Naruto's leg Konohamaru dreamed of his mother, with blond hair and blue eyes.

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty…" Naruto crouched down on the ground, making an odd clicking noise while rubbing his fingers together in the 'I-want-to-pet-you' gesture for all cats.

Tora didn't even stand a chance.

Rubbing up on Naruto's pant leg, the cat with the red bow didn't even protest when it was lifted up and cradled in Naruto's arms, all the while being petted.

Attention whore.

Sakura huffed as she came out of the undergrowth, pulling twigs and leaves from her hair.

"That wasn't part of plan Na-Ru-TO!!" Sakura practically screamed at Naruto, crossing her arms under her more then lacking chest.

"Hn." Sasuke glared off to the side, angry that the feline who had alluded him had come to Naruto willingly.

"Would you have rather chased him for another hour or two, gained a few more scratches perhaps?" Naruto asked evenly, already beginning to walk towards the Tower.

"Hmph" Sakura pouted, her cheeks puffing up rather unattractively. The last few weeks Naruto had easily finished whatever…chores! they were assigned. Painting a fence? No problem with a clone army. Walking a mob of dogs? They're cute and cuddly (with Naruto) and attention whores like that damn cat. Pulling weeds in a very complex herb garden? Naruto has a green thumb apparently; the gardener even requested them again a few days latter! Work at the orphanage? Apparently kids love Naruto's never ending supply of energy!

Sasuke however, had turned down the hostess job. Naruto seemed rather enthused about the whole thing. Wonder why.

Kakashi sighed when his team once again didn't work together. While Naruto seemed happy enough, the others did their own variation of sulking.

Why couldn't the Hokage understand that being in ANBU was better for his sanity?

Naruto couldn't help but feel sorry for the cat as its owner smothered it in her breasts. I mean, ew. Breast.

Absently he heard the Hokage go through with the formalities, all the while staring at Iruka.

Iruka. Umino Iruka. He had been somewhat of a brother/father figure to him in the past, but with every passing day the bond changed and chipped away, leaving behind less wholesome desires.

He would need to talk to Iruka about these urges soon. No matter how much he wanted to seduce the first person he ever boded to, he would not put said bond in jeopardy.

So deep in his study of the man that he almost didn't hear Sakura's scream of outrage.

Too bad it was right be his EAR!

The Hokage looked down at the D mission scrolls left on his desk. Why was his desk always covered in paper? Why not something else, something funnier, like candy? Why couldn't his desk be covered in candy?

Absently chewing on his pipe, he shuffled through the left over missions.

"Cleaning the bathhouse, grocery shopping, refilling student records, cleaning interrogation room A-13 through B-26, mumble, mumble…" he absently read the options out, all the while pondering over his candy-covered desk.

Or maybe he could just get someone named Candy to cover his desk? Oho!

If only he hadn't been so preoccupied with his little fantasy, he may have been more prepared for what happened next.

"NO! I REFUSE TO DO ANOTHER D RANK MISSION! MY HAIR IS A MESS, MY DRESS IS TORN, SASUKE WON'T GO ON A DATE WITH ME B-BECAUSE I STINK!! NO MORE! GIVE US SOMETHING ELSE!!" Sakura screeched, body shaking with anger.

"Sakura! Respect your Hokage!" Iruka snapped at the girl.

"Jiji, can you give us something a little more…challenging? Anything to not hear her bitch and whine anymore." Naruto asked, twisting a finger in his ear to stop the ringing.

The Hokage wasn't in much better condition. The girls screaming had given him a start, causing him to inhale a little too much smoke. But he was the Hokage, and the Hokage didn't choke, no, instead he cleared his throat. Several times.

Come to think of it, the council was getting onto him about advancing the Uchiha, this could kill to birds with one stone.

Oh, if only he could be so lucky.

Needless to say, Team 7 wasn't very lucky either.

I LIVE!!