~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~
~ Part Three ~
Edward's POV
My poor Bella was so tired, her lack of sleep was finally beginning to catch up to her. I hummed her lullaby quietly, soon she drifted off to sleep. I was relieved, sleeping would help her immensely.
I sat in her rocking chair in the corner of her room, watching over her. Hours went by as she slept peacefully.
That's when around four AM she began to twist and turn in her bed restlessly, a distressed look present on her face.
"Edward!" She yelled abruptly, I stiffened.
"EDWARD!" She yelled, louder this time. I was about to get up to wake her, but I heard Charlie waking up in the other room.
I was forced to jump out Bella's window into the tree outside. This way I could still see what was going on.
Suddenly she screamed an ear piercing shriek, "STOP IT! LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Horror filled me up, frantically I looked inside the window where I saw Bella thrashing on her bed. Charlie burst inside. He thought someone was trying to murder Bella. Normally, I would have laughed at his thoughts, but this definitely wasn't the time. When Charlie realized nobody was trying to hurt his daughter, he relaxed a little but made his way over to Bella who was still very distressed.
"Bella!" He yelled, shaking her to wake her up from her nightmare. Her chocolate brown eyes finally fluttered open revealing an indescribable amount of pain, far more than I thought was humanly possible. Bella collapsed in Charlie's arms, sobbing.
My heart ached to see her in so much pain from simply a nightmare opposed to reality. Desperately I craved to reach out and encase her in my arms but I knew I couldn't.
"H-he's g-g-gone." Bella cried.
Who was gone?
"Who's gone Bella?" Charlie asked reassuringly, just as puzzled as I was.
"E-E-Edward." She sobbed.
I looked at the scene in front of me with wide eyes. Me? Internally I cringed, is this the way she would be once I left?
No, Bella would get over it eventually. She was a human, in the future she would find a human man and live a happy life, married with children. I could not give her a long happy human life. My heart throbbed at the thought of Bella with another man other than myself but I had to make that sacrifice to ensure she would be safe and away from monsters such as myself.
Suddenly I was pulled from my wandering thoughts from the sound of retching. I turned my head to look through the window. Bella had pulled out of Charlie's arms and was vomiting into a trash bin.
I frowned. Had her nightmare frightened her that much?
Bella fell back into Charlie's arms. Charlie was never an emotional man, but he didn't seem to know what to do but he patted her back awkwardly but reassuringly. Bella shook violently, her sobs even louder. ""H-he's gone. He's g-gone."
My heart broke all over again. I knew I must leave eventually but will she ever recover? Part of me wanted to just forgot all about leaving and call back all the family but the more rational side of me was saying she would recover and I shouldn't be putting her in all this unnecessary danger.
"Shh, Bella. He's at his own house right now. He's not gone." Charlie whispered, unsure of what else to say.
"N-n-no. He left. H-he d-didn't want me an-anymore." Bella's cracked, she sucked in gasps of air, hiccupping in the end.
All of the sudden, a panic look appeared in her eyes and she screamed, "EDWARD!"
Anguish hit me hard, I found myself looking away from the window, yanking on my bronze disheveled hair and gasping for breath.
Could I really leave knowing there was a possibility that she could be just the way she was now, or worse even?
Edward, this is for Bella's safety.
My inner debate continued until I heard Charlie announce to Bella he was going to call me from my house. Quickly I jumped onto the ground, sprinting into the forest. I sped through the thicket of trees to my house.
I got there in time to pick up the phone.
"Hello?" I asked sleepily in my best Carlisle impression.
"Hello, its Charlie Swan, I know it's really early in the morning. But it is important. Can I speak to your boy Edward?"
"Of course. I will go wake him."
I put the phone down, waiting a bit so Charlie would indeed think Carlisle was waking me.
Finally, I picked up the phone, groggily I answered, "Hello?"
"Hello, it's Chief Swan. There is something upsetting with Bella." He answered.
"What's wrong? Is she okay?!" I blurted in a fast panicked voice. I knew exactly what was wrong but I couldn't have him knowing that.
"She had a nightmare, she won't calm down. I wouldn't normally do this, but she needs you." He breathed. In the background I heard Bella shriek.
"I'm on my way." I slammed the phone down, rushing out tomy silver Volvo. Though I wanted to just run over since it was faster, but I knew Charlie would be suspicious if I arrived without a vehicle.
The whole ride I was jittery, I needed to see Bella.
I pulled into Bella's driveway in a hurry, slamming the brakes and hopping out. I rushed to the door knocking frantically. As soon as the door opened I was inside with wide panicked eyes.
"She's upstairs." Charlie stated, noticing my frantic eyes.
I ran up the stairs, attempting to keep a human pace though it was close to impossible under the circumstances. Charlie followed behind me to Bella's pale blue bedroom.
While tugging on my messy hair, I noticed Bella rocking on her bed tears streaming down her puffy red rimmed eyes. Immediately I wrapped Bella up in my arms, pulling her onto my lap, rocking her gently with my chin resting on the top of her head.
She sobbed in the crook of my neck while I whispered reassuringly in her ear. I smoothed back her soft mahogany hair while Bella tightly fisted my shirt in her small hands.
Sobs continued to rip through her, she was still hysterical so I took it upon myself to switch to softly humming her lullaby. Gradually her cries turned to sniffles making me feel slightly better under the circumstances. Bella's eyes soon fluttered closed, her breathing evening out meaning she had fallen asleep. I placed a cool kiss on the top of her head, untangling her from myself. I pulled the blankets over her. Charlie had already left the room, returning to his bedroom where he had fallen asleep allowing me to stay the night with Bella. I settled in the rocking chair in the corner, watching over Bella for the rest of the night.
X~X~X
Bella's POV
Slowly my consciousness was returning, my eyes opening. Sunlight spilled through the window. I rose from my bed, peering around the room. My gaze stopped at my occupied rocking chair. Edward was here.
That's when last night's events came rushing back to me. I grimaced, looking down at my hands. I felt an unnatural cool breeze, looking up I saw Edward perched on the side of my bed, pain reflecting in his golden irises.
"Bella…" Slowly, he sighed, trailing off slowly. Silence swallowed me up, a lump in my throat.
"What happened last night?"
I gulped, forcing the lump down. "Just a nightmare." I attempted to keep my voice nonchalant but it cracked at the end.
Edward narrowed his disbelieving eyes. He waited, but when I didn't say anything else he turned breathing out a deep frustrated sigh.
That's when it dawned on me.
Shit!
Edward turned sharply at me, looking at me with a shocked expression.
Oops! Had I said that aloud?
Panic set in. "What day is it?"
"October 2nd"
Oh my god. Had I really been catatonic for that long? Where had the time gone? This means…
Edward is leaving soon.
What was I going to do? I had already stretched his departure to a couple weeks longer. I knew he wasn't going to stick around much longer, he doesn't love me after all. What if he leaves today?! I'm not hurt anymore, there would be no reason for him to linger here.
My breath sped up, turning to gasps. The hole in my chest ripped open farther, sending spasms of pain through my body.
"Bella? All you alright?"
No I wasn't. I jumped up off the bed, "I just need a human moment." I ran out of the room before he had time to answer.
I bolted into the bathroom, locking the door behind and sinking down the wall into a sitting fetal position on the cold tiled floor. The cold reminded me of Edward's cold granite skin. The ache in my chest increased, I got up from the floor, pacing back and forth.
I stopped to look at the mirror at my pathetic reflection. I looked terrible to say the least. My ratty brown hair was sticking up in every direction, my empty plain eyes sunken in while my pale skin a pasty sickly white. No wonder Edward didn't want me. I was no definition of perfect or even remotely pretty for that matter. Nothing like his breathtaking beauty of course.
I sighed, running my fingers through my messy locks of hair. I pulled up my shirt, inspecting my stomach. A small gasp escaped me. My stomach had shrunk, caving hip bones, prominent and sticking out sharply, my rib cage was visible also. I ran my fingers over the bones.
A few tears slipped down my cheeks, I was quick to brush them away with my hand.
I was so ugly. I was no match for Rosalie's supermodel looks or Alice's wild pixie beauty. Why couldn't I be beautiful instead of this pathetic plain body?
Not able to continue looking at my imperfections, I pulled my shirt down. I would never be beautiful so why dwell on the time wishing I was. Just like wishing for Edward to stay was a loss cause. He will never want someone like me.
X~X~X
"Bella, come take a walk with me." Edward announced, his voice like stone. He turned to descend down the staircase, I followed closely behind him.
He didn't take my hand, but led me to the forest. He stopped right at the edge.
"We need to talk."
Fear pulsed through me, this was it.
"We are leaving Forks."
Heartbreak hit me, but I remained emotionless and unaffected. I couldn't have him know what his words truly meant to me.
I frowned, "I'll come with you." I pleaded.
"I don't want you to come with my family and I." Edward said, a stoic mask in place.
I was speechless.
"You see Bella, you were only a distraction to keep me occupied for a while. I have grown bored now and it is time for me to leave."
My mouth hung open in shock, "B-but, I thought-"
He cut me off, "No, I don't love you. But do not fret, your kind will easily forget and you can continue to live your human life without any interference from myself."
Tears welled in my eyes. "But I love you."
"Like I said, your feelings are human, they aren't strong as mine are. You will forget and move on." Edward answered calmly.
"Well it is time for me to leave now. Please stay safe, for Charlie's sake of course." He took a step closer to me. "Goodbye Isabella." That's when he placed a cold kiss on my forehead as a farewell.
Then he was gone.
I gasped for breath as I awoke from my dream. Edward was going to leave tomorrow morning!
I peered at the clock next to me. It read 5am. Edward wasn't here, had he already left?
Salty tears filled my eyes, brimming over and spilling onto my cheeks. I allowed the heavy sobs to be released and crumbled onto the floor in a mess.
Why couldn't I be good enough for him?
The throbbing in my heart increased in intensity to the point of excruciating agony, while gasping for breath on the bedroom floor. I tried to muffle my loud sobs in my hands in fear I would wake Charlie from his slumber in the other room.
A velvety voice attacked my mind. I gripped the sides of my head letting out a quiet screech. The hole in my heart swelling rapidly, seizing in great affliction. Dizziness came over me, I hit the floor, making the room tilt in extremely nauseating way, lying there while his voice echoed in my mind.
You aren't good enough.
You are undeserving.
You are so plain and ugly.
You are unworthy.
You are nothing.
Squeezing my eyes tightly, a few stray tears escaping, I covered my ears with my hand in a desperate attempt to block out his voice.
"I'm not good enough." I whispered. "I'm undeserving. I'm plain and ugly. I'm unworthy. I am nothing."
I repeated this over and over while rocking back and forth on the ground with my knees pulled to my chest.
Minutes past, before an unnatural breeze came from behind me. Edward appeared in front of me, staring at my pathetic position on the floor.
"Bella?"
I continued to rock back and forth whispering my mantra. I stared off into space, my eyes blank.
"I'm not good enough. I'm undeserving. I'm plain and ugly. I'm unworthy. I am nothing." I whispered again and again.
Suddenly Edward was on his knees, his face looking into my blank one. His expression was one of deep concern. But I did not snap out of it, I continued rocking and whispering my mantra.
His hands were on my shoulders, forcing me to stop rocking. Then he murmured "You are good enough. You are deserving. You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are my everything."
I hope you liked part three! It was quite a bit shorter than the last chapter, this chapter only 2362 words. I am liking the way this fanfic is turning out and the reviews seem like you guys enjoy it too so thank you! I will continue this fanfiction but I would like to hear some feedback in the review section. Please take a minute to let me know what you think. I read all my reviews!
Speaking of reviews, I showed my sister this fanfic and she loved it. But unfortunately she decided to write ten guest reviews about nonsense! Go check them out if you want a laugh lol:)
Thank you for reading, please review!
~ Alexandra