Supernova

By Willow Athena

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, or any of its characters, but Rien is definitely mine, as is this story.

Author's Note: This chapter begins right after the last, and takes us through one month...making that 11 months after their escape.

Thank you to all my reviewers for the encouragement. I write for both our pleasure, so I hope you enjoy it as I have.

Chapter 12- A Waking Dream

They had stayed out late at the movies, but Rien could still not fall peacefully asleep. Thanks to Yoruichi, and life experience, Rien was able to recognise the languages of love now. She had recently realised Ishida's feelings for her were more than just friendship. Rien could not even consider being with Ishida until she forgot about the man who was unforgettable to her. She had been distancing herself from Ishida, so as not to hurt him – as she inevitably felt she would. However, Ishida proved to be persistent and patient, and Rien could feel his loving touch pull her back to him. Especially tonight – as he caressed her cheek, as he held her close in the darkness of the cinema, bracing her from the cold he knew she felt. There was no doubt in her mind, Ishida knew her…almost as well as Yoruichi did. She knew she would just have to try harder to push him away.

Although she had not done so in a while, Rien dreamt of Byakuya that night…of him being chased, of him being in danger, of a river of blood consuming him.

"Byakuya!" She had startled herself awake from the nightmare.

She was not where she expected herself to be. She was lying in Ishida's awake arms. For some reason, she checked under the sheets – she was still wearing clothes at least. "I'm sorry, I don't really know how I got here. How long have you been awake?" Her voice was tentative, but slightly distracted as she had already begun to lose the content of the nightmare. She tried to concentrate on it, but, as dreamwork does, it was quick to conceal itself within her once more.

Ishida had silently gotten up and walked to his balcony by now. "Not long," he said without turning back to look at her.

"You should have just woken me." Rien, once more, tried to retrace what had happened.

"Maybe," Ishida said, his voice like ice. Rien could have sworn she heard his heart crack, just a little.

Rien went up to him on the balcony, and looked at his beautiful eyes, without the protection of his glasses to shield her from the agony he was in. She put her hand on his cheek, but he recoiled from her touch.

"Don't," he softly pleaded. He went back inside, and put a shirt over his 21 year old, lean, muscular frame. "I'll take you home before Urahara and Yoruichi wake up," he said, as he grabbed his car keys on his dresser.

He would not hold her close to hirenkyaku there, though admittedly, it would be much faster. He would allow himself to be mad at her, this once, though he knew it would not last for long.

Rien's POV

It had happened every night that week – the same dream, and me waking up in Ishida's arms. I hadn't wanted to worry Yoruichi or Kisuke, who were already worried about something which was too big of a secret to tell me. Ishida, Ichigo and I had tried to solve this conundrum on our own, as Rukia and Renji had also mysteriously disappeared – this did not bode well for Ichigo increasingly bad mood.

Ishida had tried sleeping in different rooms, and unsuccessfully tried staying awake, but we could just not figure out what was going on with me. Even Ichigo, sometimes on watch against my room door, would not see me leave. I had tried tying myself to the bed, but nothing changed in the morning. Renji and Rukia's disappearance, meant that they were unable to help with daemon magic binding spells, and so, we were left to our own convolute devices.

I could no longer take Ishida's look of agony every morning, as I screamed Byakuya's name in his arms. I decided it warranted a departure from my current quest of training and finding a way to pay Jyuushiro back, and so, I shifted my concentration from my current research project to focus all my efforts on attempting not to stomp on Ishida's now fragile, cracked heart. I cared for him. I cared for him as more than just a friend but, my feelings for him did not consume me, and I knew that it would not be enough…for either of us.

I performed the spell I had been researching for the past week, in the hopes that today had been my last morning of terrorising Ishida. I had woken up in his arms everyday fro two weeks now, and although he appeared hardened to it by now, I knew it damaged him everyday – and he had no time to repair the rupture before the next attack.

I unwillingly drifted into sleep. The same dream – Byakuya, an odd-looking man with scythes, like a reaper, a harbinger of death, darkness, and the a river of blood engulfing him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ishida woke me.

I was cold. It was still dark. I didn't know where we were. He looked worried. "Who did this to you?" He kept repeating the question as he shook me. The spell? Is that what he's worried about?

"I did the spell – to stop myself from hurting you." It all still felt like a dream to me. "But, I guess it didn't work." I chuckled at his concern, it was far more palatable than his agony. I was still confused about where we were, but it did not feel familiar.

"Then break the spell! I can't move you out of the middle of the road as long as the spell is active." His normal shirtless form tried to focus my attention. He was right, though the situation had not changed, the location had. "I can't break the spell, you'll have to do it." He held my face within his soft, gentle hands – forcing me to waken fully and focus my attention on reality.

Of course I couldn't move, I shouldn't even be here, I thought. It was Way of binding, 61: Six Rod Prison of Light – I must have performed the spell poorly. Not knowing how to properly dispel the magic, I held onto two of the rods, and broke them. I was vulnerable, it seemed, to the dispelling of my own ki. My lack of proficiency with the spell, made the rods shatter, and stab into my hands, causing superficial wounds that just bled profusely. Ishida scooped me up into his arms, and hirenkyaku'ed to his bedroom.

I walked out to the balcony to allow the cool breeze to clear my head, and not to drip my blood all over Ishida's carpet. My hands limply rested over the banister of the balcony, drops of blood dripping like water from a leaky tap. I peered into the beauty of the woods, that were Ishida's back yard – I knew it was where he went to train in isolation, and where he meditated away the injuries I had inflicted upon him. In the stillness of this night, I could hear the soft rush of his nearby waterfall. He had taken me there a few times, never calling it a date, though Renji always remarked to me that it was – even if it was, I would have still gone, if he'd asked me – if I was ever going to consider dating anyone it would have definitely been him but, I now knew enough to know that all I was, was trouble, and he would do well to stay away.

He came out with his doctors bag and cleaned my wounds, assessing that they did not require stitches, although he could not get them to stop bleeding all over his hands. "I'm sorry about this again," I apologised, though I knew it would do nothing for his unease.

"Uh-ha," he dismissively said as he worked. This time he was probably angry that I had gotten myself a bit scratched up. There's just no winning with some people, I thought.

"I should be trying to heal your wounds, not the other way around." I tried to make light of our depressing situation. He did not deny that he was injured, perhaps this was progress.

"What made you consider this catastrophic disaster?" Concern and anger mingled in his voice. He put his doctor's bag away and came back with a few butterfly plasters. Ishida's muscles were toned and well defined, but his touch was still soft and gentle as he cared for me. His bare, defined chest shone like ivory in the pale moon light. I had gotten used to its feel beneath my skin as I slept – but, those were just selfish thoughts.

"Shouldn't you be wearing your glasses when treating patients?" I teased. In reality, I selfishly wanted his glasses to protect me from the cries of his soul, from the agony he was in.

"Shouldn't you answer my question," he said without looking up, instead, he silently continued his work, letting the silence grow between us.

"I can see how much I hurt you. I don't want to do it anymore," I whispered to him, more than just a hint of pain in my voice.

"There – finished," he said, as he gently lay my hands down, and looked at me with his beautiful, blue, agony-filled eyes. "I care about you…" I found myself admitting. "I can't watch you be hurt by me anymore. I just wanted to find a way to make it all better." I felt the emotion well up inside me, heavily weighing on my chest, suffocating my strangled speech.

He looked at me with uncertainty as I stood at the corner of his balcony. He closed what little distance remained between us. Running his left hand through my hair, he let it rest along my jaw. He pulled my head to him and kissed my forehead. "You already know how to make it all better – you just don't know what you're going to do about it." His eyes pierced mine, as his words sunk in. I had decided, I thought, but he always made me unsure – perhaps due to my reluctance to hurt him, or perhaps…

He turned to leave. I caught his left arm, with my throbbing right hand before he could depart. "Ishida…" I said it as a plea for him not to leave as yet – not until I figured this out, once and for all.

He searched my gaze. He closed the small distance with determination and kissed me. He kissed me with a ferocity I did not expect of him. I could feel his need for me in this kiss, how his lips almost said my name with every touch, how he yearned to taste me, to consume me. After the initial shock, my lips became responsive beneath his, mirroring his actions, tasting him for the first time.

I instinctively let out a moan of enjoyment as his lips pressed hard against mine, and his hands searched my body, holding me closer against his bare chest. My hands stopped throbbing as I ran them up his torso, something I had thought about doing numerous times, but had never had the courage to implement. My hands knotted in his free hair, as his did in mine.

As he realised my yearning for him, his kisses became more gentle, soft, teasing – making my lips stalk his, work harder, and beg his to want me back. I stood on my tip-toes to be on par with his height, to stalk his lips more effectively. His lips responded, then moved lower, exploring every part of my neck. I now knew why Yoruichi and Kisuke did it – why they yearned for eachother's touch…pleasure!

And in that moment, I felt like I could go through with it – like I could be happy with just this, forever. I let my spine relax across the banister of his balcony, as his soft, red hot lips explored my neck and then collar bone, moving lower with each kiss.

But, that moment of pleasure was short lived. Just when I thought I had escaped his grip, had relinquished the memory of his touch – I sensed his presence, I opened my eyes to see something that vaguely resembled him, lurking in the shadows of the wood. As the memory of that kiss resurfaced, it simultaneously drained the vitality of this experience. Byakuya's image was like a deluded-hallucination I pulled out of the ether of my unconsciousness to rob me of any happiness in the present. How masochistic of me.

It was in that moment that I knew Ishida and I would never work out, never last past this fleeting moment. Now I would have to break his heart. One quick break that he could set and heal from.

I stopped him as he was about to remove one of the straps of my top. He looked down at me, unsure – I felt my heart waver in response. I kissed him. One last, yearning-filled kiss – knowing we could never be the same after this.

I held his face in my hands. "I cant do this. I thought I was ready, but I'm so far from it." He nodded understandingly in response, still out of breath. That was just it – I wasn't out of breath. My head wasn't swimming. I hadn't lost control. I yearned for the intensity of what he was feeling, but I now knew I would not be able to have that with him. We just weren't meant for eachother.

I held his face in my hands, forcing him to focus, so he would not mistake this for anything other than what it was – the end.

"It was amazing – you were amazing. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before…" I paused to gather my courage. "But, I still don't think we're going to work out. You deserve better than the irreparably shattered pieces of my broken heart. You deserve someone who can put their childish dreams aside, and truly love the beautiful, caring, magnificent man you are."

He had regained his composure now, and had silently listened to all I had to say. I listened carefully for the sound of his heart shattering, or his soul crying out in agony – but, there was nothing. He seemed fine – uninjured.

"Okay, I think you're right." His words surprised me. I searched his eyes for signs of deception, but there were none. "I do deserve someone who will love only me." A peculiar calm washed over him, as though I had failed his litmus test, if you could call a kiss that. "Its over – I guess." He smiled, it seemed dissonant with the topic being discussed. "I'm kind of ashamed of my behaviour – I relentlessly pursued you to be mine…but, I paid little attention to what you wanted, to who you desired. I just wanted to give you what I thought was best for you – me." I was still in shocked silence, attempting to digest his words. "But, I see now that I can't make you love me – and, no matter what I do, you'll still love him." He laughed as he thought back on his actions, on my reactions.

"I do love you, Ishida – just not the way you'd like me to." I solemnly added as I peered into the empty wilderness. Noting my hallucination having fucked off, after achieving its goal. I wondered if I would ever find the will to be happy without him.

"But, you almost completely had me, Dr Ishida," I threw in just to tease him – to lighten the now aching silence.

"Mm," he doubtfully replied, returning to the silence effectively distancing us.

Not Rien's POV

"Ishida is so fucking gay! Beautiful girls only hang out with him cause he's harmless," an oversized jock spat loudly from the table adjacent to Ishida's. Ishida ignored the words, although it made his reiatsu turn dark with fury, he controlled his expression and continued to read his book in the crowded cafeteria, waiting for his next class to begin. Rien stood behind him a few tables away, feeling tentative about approaching him after their kiss and 'break up' earlier that morning. She had also heard the, too loud, insults being spoken at the table, and pondered if she should keep her promise, or if it would further hurt him to have her defend his honour. She decided subtlety was her best option as she found their continuing insults about Ishida unforgivable.

Rien walked passed the table as they called 'hey baby' and other disgusting sentiments. She ignored them as though their words were silent hot winds blowing beneath her feet, too insignificant to comment on. She walked over to Ishida who sat at the lone chair at his table, he looked up at her short skirt knowing just from her long legs that it was her. He looked back down and continued to read his book, not bothering to speak. She gently pulled the book from his hand and plopped herself down on his lap, considering there were no other chairs. Ishida's expression sternly reproached Rien, but she did not care. The adjacent table was now intriguingly watching them as though it were the final of a reality TV show.

"Don't be like this…"Rien began. "I'm sorry I slept right on top of you the other night, I really did try to stay on my side, but you're so warm, and we both wear so little to sleep." Rien began with a kind of truth, so Ishida would not think her mad, and soon catch her drift. Rien found it difficult to sleep in clothes, and so wore very little to bed, though she tried, since she half-expected to wake in his arms each morning. The other night's cold breeze had caused her to sleep completely on top of his warm body, but he had not complained about that in particular, just silently ached as she called Byakuya's name when she woke. Rien had said the words loudly enough for the adjacent table, already eavesdropping, to hear, and Rien could slyly see the table of ten jocks beam confused looks at eachother.

"I really don't mind, your body's very light anyway. I just need time…last night…" Ishida began, but Rien stopped him with a kiss before he exposed the truth to the eavesdropping table. The kiss surprised Ishida, but he did not push her away. It was an innocent kiss, compared to their intensity last night, but it shocked everyone in the cafeteria, not just the jocks at the adjacent table. Although other people frequently kissed their lovers here, Ishida had never demeaned himself to kiss anyone where prying eyes could see. Rien was determined to leave no doubt in anyone's mind, about Ishida's sexual inclination or capabilities. Although he had tried to keep the kiss chaste, Rien's determined intensity forced him to give in to her cool lips, and he slowly forgot about everything as her taste intoxicated him. His hands ran up her thighs to just below her skirt, while his other held her securely against him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, running a hand through his hair, she swivelled to a more comfortable position on his lap. It was, as she would later tell Yoruichi – physically, she was incredibly attracted to him, and found that she could easily lose herself in the pleasure of his body, but that was certainly not enough of a basis for a good relationship.

He suddenly pulled away, panting again, trying to control his body in this public place. She noticed the shallow rhythm of her pulse in relation to his, and inwardly sighed once more, "I know…you don't have to say it back, but…I do love you," Rien continued loudly enough. In her peripheral vision, she saw a flash of orange hair dash out of the cafeteria…the rumours about Ichigo and Ishida could surely not be true, Rien thought, trying to further map out her plan to defend Ishida's honour. "Perhaps we could discuss it later tonight." Rien's voice took a seductive turn Ishida had never heard before. She slinked out of his lap, with everyone in the cafeteria stealthily attempting to watch them. "I'll see you tonight, then?" It really wasn't a question, rather an inevitability, Rien thought. She would have to phone him in a few minutes and explain her behaviour, but she was on another mission now…to track down the orange hair. "Don't break my heart, not again," she cryptically added for the other table's benefit. Ishida looked skeptically at her, almost accusingly, and Rien felt the guilt of the insensitive, foolish words crash down on her. She controlled her expression and twinkled at him as she left. As soon as she was alone, she shunpo'ed in search of the orange hair…why had it felt so familiar? She had been distracted by her thoughts following the kiss, and she berated herself for not having concentrated harder.

Author's Note

If you love Bleach, click to the next episode…