The Article
Four pictures were spread through the article that was published five days after Hermione contacted Skeeter. She'd agreed to the photo shoot only when the magazine informed her it would be the only way to get the bids she wanted. They specialized in what men liked, so she trusted them, as awkward as it had been.
She was half-naked in two of them, prancing around in a Muggle bikini at the side of a pool. The other two were a little more comfortable, as they were taken in her Healer robes, although they were altered to boost her cleavage, and were cut scandalously short. Hermione knew well enough to know that men were very visual creatures, so she understood the sexualization of her work attire. Anything to get the higher bidders was worth it, she guessed.
Hermione moved past the pictures to read the article that had just hit the newsstands that morning. She'd already read it several times, but she just wanted to make sure nothing got changed at the last minute.
Hermione Granger Talks Sex and Politics
Hermione Granger, famed hero in the Wizarding War against Voldemort, is one of the most eligible women in the Wizarding World now that she's broken things off with long-time beau, Ron Weasley, and she's ready to move on to bigger and better things.
I, Rita Skeeter, was given exclusive access to the young witch, in an interview exclusively for Wizard Weekly. She entered the restaurant in a short black pencil skirt, showing off a pair of shapely legs, and a red sweater that hugged her ample curves. Hermione is no longer the young girl we remember from the battlefield years ago. She's all grown up and she's got two things on her mind. Sex and Politics.
Rita Skeeter: Miss Granger, you aren't known for doing interviews, what made you change your mind?
Hermione Granger: A few things, actually. Given my recent break up with Ron, and all the media coverage about it, I felt that I should get my own story out there.
RS: Yes, the two of you were together for a very long time. What actually lead to the break up?
HG: It is a very long story that ended with me finding him in bed with another woman.
RS: Surely not!
HG: I'm afraid so (She chuckles to herself). This is where I get into the crux of the problem. As someone who rarely opens up to the public, you must understand this is very unusual for me, but I'll tell you the whole story. Ron and I got together immediately after the war. I'd always thought I wanted to be with him. He showed interest in me, and I wasn't known for being very interesting.
RS: Now you are being falsely modest. You must know you've been voted sexiest witch in this very magazine for the last three years.
HG: (she blushes at my statement) I actually didn't know that. Nevertheless, that is how we got together. After the war, I threw myself into my healer training. Naively, I never suspected anything was wrong between us. Sure, we were more friends than lovers, but as I'd never had such a relationship, I assumed that was normal. That was, until I walked in on him, a week ago, with another witch in his bed. He informed me that I was cold and a prude, and that he had no choice but to seek other options.
RS: What an arse.
HG: In his defense, I might have been a little cold to him, sexually. I've discovered recently, I was never really attracted to him. That is why I could never give him my virginity.
*I must admit here, that I nearly dropped my notebook when she admitted to being a virgin. How could this beautiful, young, celebrity not have ever had sex before?
RS: Virgin?
HG: (she blushes deeper) Yes, which brings me to the second reason I agreed to this interview.
RS: I'm afraid I don't follow.
HG: (she smiles at me now, a huge toothy grin) I decided to do an interview for Wizard Weekly because I have a proposition for the Wizards of England.
RS: Really, and what would that be?
HG: As nearly everyone knows, I'm quite partial to the rights of House-elves and Werewolves. I've been working hard to extend their services at St. Mungo's but without the funding, such an endeavor has proven futile. I need the funding, and I also find myself wanting to rid myself of my virginity.
RS: I'm afraid I don't understand the correlation.
HG: I've decided, that I would like to auction off my virginity (she looks so calm when she says it, I wonder if I've heard her correctly).
RS: So, you plan to auction off your virginity to the highest bidder and then donate that money to St. Mungo's for treatment for Magical beings that are currently discriminated against?
HG: Yes, although, I'd like to clarify. I winner would not necessarily be the highest bidder. Bids would be made for the next two weeks. After that, the top bidders would meet with me, and I'd decide on the one I formed the best connection with. I want to do this, but I also want to have a say in who I sleep with in the end.
RS: That is quite the bombshell. Do you worry about being perceived as a slut? Or a prostitute?
HG: Not at all. Those who wish to judge me will do so anyway. This isn't just about money. To tell you the truth, I've spent far too much time wrapped up in the life of Ronald Weasley and work. I've had little time to meet anyone new, and what better way than this? If it gets a new ward opened to help people, then all the better.
RS: Well, best of luck to you. I'm sure you will be suffocated by Owls by the time this article reaches the masses.
HG: Thank you, Rita.
Any wizards interested in bidding on Miss Granger may contact her via her special Owlery dedicated to 'Operation Lose It' as she had comically named her mission. I expect she will be overwhelmed by offers before the day is over.
-Rita Skeeter, Wizard Weekly Magazine.
Hermione sighed and smiled to herself. It came out the best she could hope for. Sure, it was a little embarrassing sharing that much of herself with the world she barely knew, but there it was. She felt oddly liberated by the entire experience. She was Hermione Granger, damn it!
"Bloody hell," Theo Nott whistled to himself as he put down the magazine.
"Reading the Granger article?" Blaise asked from the other side of the office. As Auror partners they shared an office.
"A virgin! I mean, can you believe it? Weasel had that gorgeous girl at his beck and call and he never once sealed the deal? I almost feel bad for the git," Nott said, still staring hungrily at the moving pictures of Hermione in the magazine. She was giggling in one by the pool, and he thought he might come in his pants at the sultry way her chest heaved with her laughter.
"Hey, you read it yourself. She wasn't interested. Can you blame her? But a virgin. I mean, what are the odds that the hottest witch in Britain is a fucking virgin. And she's more than willing to lose it!" Blaise replied shaking his head. He couldn't stop looking at the picture of Hermione seductively holding a stethoscope. It was ludicrous because Wizards had no need for the Muggle tool, but it was hot all the same.
"Are you going to put in a bid?" Nott asked.
"Are you kidding me?" Blaise asked. "I'd be a damn fool not to."
"Yes, I guess this is worth tapping into the Gringotts vaults," Nott replied, pulling out a piece of parchment and his quill. Now, how much could he reasonably afford to bid?
Draco's brow furrowed as he read the article again. There was no way he could have read that correctly. Granger wanted to lose her virginity - to the highest bidder? He laughed to himself. He was made of money. Could it really be that easy?
"Father!" he called from his office. He and his father worked for Malfoy Enterprises, mostly from home in adjoining offices. They rarely needed to go into the office, as they had delegated and outsourced judiciously. They enjoyed a wide variety of activities as they collected the fruits of their labor: the only company in the wizarding world working with Muggle technology.
When Draco's mother died, the winter after the war ended, they became close, and Draco relished the close relationship he had with his father. Especially knowing that his father had never had such a relationship with his own father.
"What is it, Draco?" his father asked, coming to his son's door while reading Wizard Weekly at the same time. It seemed his father couldn't take his eyes off the jaw dropping article either - or the tantalizing pictures of Granger that were just begging for him to come and touch her.
"I see you've read it too," Draco said. "So, you'll understand when I take a few million galleons out of my account."
"Oh, you think you're going to be the Wizard Miss Granger chooses?" Lucius asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
"I've wanted her since third year, Father. That kind of sexual tension can't be denied," Draco said, confidently.
"Sexual tension, or utter repulsion on her part?" Lucius asked, a smirk on his face. "Besides, you'll have some competition."
"Who?" Draco asked, unable to think of any other eligible bachelor that might have some sort of history with Granger, like he did.
"Me," Lucius said. "I've been working with her every other month as a member of the board at St. Mungo's. Had I known she was so sexually unsatisfied, I'd have remedied this situation long ago."
Draco looked like he was going to throw up. "Come on, Father. You are too old for her."
Lucius laughed at that. "Perhaps that just means I have more I can offer her." He continued laughing as he left the office. Draco scowled at the top of his desk. Let the games begin, Father, he thought to himself, mentally calculating exactly how much he could afford to put on Hermione's virginity. After twelve years of wanting her, he wasn't going to let his dad get in his way.
"What has that insufferable girl done now?" Severus Snape sighed, rubbing his eyes as he placed the article he was reading on the desk in front of him. He'd only picked up the magazine because he saw it on the newsstand outside the apothecary that morning, and Hermione was on the cover.
As much as he'd never admit it to anyone, he'd followed all of her publicity, mostly to curb his own curiosity about the girl. She was the brightest witch he'd ever known, and the fact that she still traipsed around with those two dunderheads was more than irritating to him.
He and Hermione had even shared a sort of electric tension when she was working with him on potions for the Order. The Weasley boy always came between them, but Snape suspected that she wasn't totally disgusted by her professor, and that was an intoxicating feeling for a man who'd been deemed undesirable his whole life. But she'd picked Ron to run off into the sunset with, and he was left with no more than a few innocent touches in the potions lab at Grimmauld Place.
Snape shook his head. He didn't care about Hermione's virginity. In fact, he commended her for not giving into Weasley and just doing it to appease the boy. But he also couldn't stand the thought of some rich bastard bidding on her, and stealing something from her that she might not understand the value of. What could he do, though?
He could bid on her, but as her former professor, that would look very strange. Then again, he was no longer working at Hogwarts, so what did it matter? He was one of the few war heroes the media left alone, so it wasn't like he had a reputation to uphold. But what would she say? Had he misinterpreted the looks she'd given him years ago? Had she outgrown whatever adolescent crush she may have had?
Sighing heavily, Snape cursed before pulling out an inkwell and parchment. He might as well give it a shot. He hadn't seen her in years. At least he might get a chance to reconnect with her.
"Hermione, are you nuts?" Harry asked, his glasses askew on his face.
"I knew you'd act like this," Hermione sighed. "You don't get it, Harry. Things are different for you. You can go out and sleep with whomever you want, and no one cares. But for me, I can't. I don't even know where to begin. Besides, think of what I could do for the house elves, and people like Remus."
"But auctioning yourself off!" Harry sputtered. "If you want to have sex, we could...I mean..."
"Harry, it's done," Hermione said. She didn't want a pity fuck, especially from her best friend.
"I just don't understand. You could end up with some old gross guy," Harry said, turning up his nose.
"Like I said before," Hermione answered calmly. "I have the ultimate say in who is chosen." She sighed and picked up her purse before kissing Harry on the cheek. "Relax, Harry. It's not that big a deal. Now, I'm off to see Ginny."
"Okay," Harry sighed, defeated. "Tell her I said 'hello'." Hermione nodded and smiled before leaving Grimmauld Place where Harry had lived since the end of the war.
When Hermione was gone, he rushed to his office and pulled out a piece of parchment. No way was Harry going to let some geriatric pervert deflower his best friend. He'd have no problem sleeping with her, and they could work through the obvious implications of that later. Right now, she needed him.
"Ron, really, you can't expect she'd pine over you. Especially after that rubbish you told the press when she broke up with you," Ginny said with an exaggerated sigh. She was getting a headache. Adrian had already retired to the living room, unable to deal with Ron's whining.
"Auctioning off her body? When she wouldn't even give me a bleeding hand job!" Ron snapped.
"Eww," Ginny said, pretending to puke. "Never say that to me again. Ronald, she wasn't sexually attracted to you. It's all there in black and white," Ginny said again, indicating at the magazine Ron had in his hands.
"Exactly! She went off and told everyone our private business," Ron said.
"You made it public when you went to the Daily Prophet and accused her of being frigid and unfeeling, which you and I both know is untrue," Ginny, said, her voice growing harsher. But she was immediately cut off by someone barreling through the Floo.
"Ginny, did you read it?" Hermione asked, stopping short when she saw Ron there. "Oh, hi, Ron," she said cooly.
"'Hi, Ron'?" Ron sputtered. "Are you kidding me?"
"I take it you've read the article then," Hermione said.
"You won't sleep with me, but you'll go fuck some rich stranger for a few galleons?" Ron was absolutely apoplectic.
"Actually, I'm hoping it's for a few million gallons," Hermione quipped. "And you are more than welcome to put in a bid and try your chances," she said, turning from him. "However, I can tell you, they aren't high."
"So, this isn't about you being a prude," Ron snapped. "You're a slut. You're nothing more than a prostitute, and I'm lucky I didn't sleep with you!" Ron spat.
"Ronald!" Ginny cried, but she wasn't able to continue because Adrian had already entered the kitchen, having heard what Ron said.
"Enough," Adrian said. "I've heard enough. She doesn't want you. She never did. Get over it. You and that Brown bitch can go off and do what you want. But get out of my house because I've heard enough." He wasn't a man of many words, but when he spoke, Adrian knew how to capture attention. Ron scowled in Hermione's direction once more before departing through the Floo, and Hermione gave Adrian a grateful smile.
"Thanks," she said.
"No problem. He was driving me 'round the bend anyway," Adrian said with a smile.
"Me too. Now, back to this article. I can't believe you actually did it!" Ginny squealed.
"You don't think I'm nuts, do you?" Hermione asked, biting her lip.
"Of course, but in the best way possible," Ginny laughed. "Look, Hermione, is this bold? Of course. Is it a little nuts? Absolutely. Is it totally brilliant? You bet."
"I'm glad you approve because Harry freaked out a little," Hermione said with a sigh as she sat at the dining room table.
"That's because Harry always thought you two would end up together," Ginny said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"What!" Hermione said, her eyes growing wide.
"Don't tell me you didn't notice? What about the distance he put between him and Ron when you two started dating? Or the fact that he comes to you for everything, even if you are the worse person to go to? Harry has always wanted you. I don't know if it's just because you two are so close and its natural to have some sort of feeling there, but he definitely doesn't want to think about you having sex with someone else," Ginny said.
Hermione stared at her with her mouth open. She'd never considered it before. Sure, there were sort of sexual feelings there, but she chalked them up to natural curiosity. Could Harry really have considered her a possible sexual partner?
"He was probably torn between being relieved you never had sex with Ron and wanting to kill anyone who bids on you," Ginny laughed.
"Oh this is too much," Hermione sighed.
"Get used to it," Ginny said. "You've probably got a houseful of bids already. Who's in charge of organizing them for you?"
"I really didn't think that far ahead," Hermione admitted.
"I'll do it!" Ginny said excitedly. "I stay at home all day anyway. I'll take care of everything."
"Fine," Hermione said. "But no matchmaking. Just pick the highest bidders and tell me who they are but not what they bid. I don't want to be swayed by that. Remember, they have two weeks to place their bids."
"I know, Hermione," Ginny said, smiling brightly. She couldn't wait to dive into the mountain of parchment and find out if there were any interesting bidders. Hermione needed to get into the spirit of this auction, and she would if Ginny had anything to say about it.