A/N I am SO SO SO SORRY for not having this updated earlier. Life decided to get in the way and I had every intention of having this finished and posted yesterday, but by the time I got home from a massive meeting I was way too tired and knew that whatever I would have written I wouldn't of been happy enough with. This story is completely thought out up until practically the end and I want to make sure every chapter I post is the highest standard I can possibly produce for you all so that it does my story line justice.
This is a massive chapter- the longest one we have seen yet so I hope it makes up for the delay. Massive thank you the absolutely everyone who is taking the time out not only review, follow and fav but to even read. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.
Reviews:
Guest: Yay, glad you liked it :D
Guest 2: Wow, thanks so much. Glad you liked it. I won't tell you if you a right or wrong because I don't want to ruin it before you read the new chapter. But I like your guess :P
I3VauseMan: Thanks so much, I was a bit nervous about getting the balance right so I'm really happy you think it turned out alright. I'm the same, I'm not a massive fan of really gratuitous sex scenes in fan fiction, so expect to see more of the more sensual, sweet stuff that has raw emotion behind it. Yes, thank god for Piper's development- expect much more in the coming chapters. Haha, glad you liked that line- I had heard it somewhere (possible from one of my inappropriate friends) and thought it would be the perfect thing for Nicky to say. I like your theory, however I decided to be a lot more angsty than that :P Thanks again for the review and I can't wait to read what you think of this chapter *raises can of coke in toast to your review*
Sarah Harrison: Sorry it took so long, but hopefully this chapter lives up to your expectations.
…
Piper stands in the back alleyway behind Red's bar, her hands trembling as they encase themselves around the phone that was in her hands. Her breathing is erratic as she begins to process the meaning behind the words her younger brother had spoken to her only minutes prior through the phone before she rudely hung up on him as she began to panic at the meaning behing his words. She was going to have to go back. Feeling the bile beginning to rise in her throat at the thought, Piper lurches her body forward and watches as the contents of her stomach paint the pavement below her, a vile smell wafting through the air.
Piper groans and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand as she stands her body upright, taking a deep breath of the night air, in an attempt to calm herself. As the seconds go by, Piper can feel the weight in her chest slowly sinking in deeper as she continues to panic at the gravity of the situation she is now facing. Even though she hadn't physically seen him in years, Piper to this day was still incredibly protective of her younger brother, having felt the inherent need to be so because of the horrific abuse they had both suffered under during their childhood. This need was proving to be the reason behind Piper's current downfall into pure panic, knowing that she would be willing to meet her brother's pleading request.
Taking a sideward glance down the alley that led back out onto the main street, Piper felt an overwhelming need to distance herself from the current situation. Feeling her phone vibrate in her hand, she glances down and notices Cal's name and number displayed on the screen, obviously calling back in an attempt to calm Piper. Silencing the call, Piper turns her phone off and stuffs it back in her pocket, currently not able to deal with the emotional chaos that would result in returning back to her former childhood home because of last night's unforeseen event.
Feeling the emotions brewing inside her, Piper does what she does best and begins to run down the alleyway and out onto the street, not giving a second glance back to Red's or the people inside who she knew could act as emotional support during this time. Piper picks up the pace, her feet slamming against the pavement and the night air flowing freely through her long blonde hair as she attempts in vain to outrun the pain and panic she is currently facing.
…..
Alex glances towards the back door that Piper had exited from earlier, worry beginning to flow through her body as she waits, rather impatiently, for the blonde to return to the seat beside her. Nicky and Lorna continue to talk indistinctly around her as she nurses her beer in her hands, every now and then taking a small sip in between her scans across the room in search of her returning girlfriend.
The buzzing of Nicky's cell phone snaps Alex to attention and she turns and watches as Nicky looks down at the screen, her face contorted in pure confusion as she stares at the caller ID. Swiping the base of the screen with her thumb, Nicky puts the phone to her ear.
"Cal?" Nicky questions into the phone, clearly unsure as to why she would be hearing from her best friend's younger sibling.
Alex's ears prick up at the familiar name, remembering back to their date at the lookout when Piper had told her about her, some of her past, specifically mention her younger brother, Cal. Alex watches as Nicky's face falls into a look of pure horror and concern as she listens intently to the mutterings of the person on the other end. Alex feels her stomach flip in uneasiness, quickly scanning across the bar in hopes of falling upon the face that would allow her to finally sigh a breath of relief.
"Fuck," Nicky cries out, taking her hand a brushing it through her hair as she begins to grow increasingly worried for the welfare of her best friend, knowing how she tended to do a runner in times of emotional chaos. Lorna rubs her girlfriend's arm soothingly, her face contorted with concern at Nicky's evident unease at the events that appear to be unfolding as a result of the phone call.
Alex leans forward on the table as she stares intently at Nicky's face in an attempt to gauge any understanding of what was wrong from the emotions displayed upon it. Alex scrunches her face, a frown playing on her lips, as she watches Nicky begin to get even more nervous, her leg erratically bouncing up and down underneath the table.
"Fuck…yer, okay I will, I talk to you later Cal," Nicky mutters into the phone, using her free hand to begin to collect her belongings as she ready's herself to leave the bar, causing Alex to look at her in confusion.
Hanging up, Nicky slips the phone back into her pocket and turns her focus towards the two girls who remain sitting in the booth in front of her. "We've got to go, Chapman's done a runner," she explains quickly, trying not to show the fear and dread she feels, on her face.
Lorna rises immediately, understanding instantly what her wild-haired girlfriend meant by those words. Lorna had seen it happen time and time before, watching as her girlfriend's best friend would begin to break under the emotional pressure that had encompassed her life, almost always finding the need to bail and be alone as opposed to talking it out with those who cared about her most. Lorna shoots, a still confused Alex, a small sympathetic smile, knowing the raven haired woman had yet to grow properly accustomed to Piper's massive emotional freak-outs.
"Nicky, wait. What's going on?" Alex stutters out from her seat as she watches the other two girls frantically collect their belongings in order to leave.
Nicky looks at her in slight frustration as Alex appears to not be getting the hint to move. "Vause, get your arse up. We have got to go find and sort out your girlfriend."
"Wait. What why?" Alex says still confused at the situation, not understanding what had gone so wrong to cause Piper to freak out.
"Because her fucking mother just died."
….
Piper lays on a wet patch of grass, gazing up at the sky, her lungs still gasping for air after her mad sprint in an effort to get away from the confines of the bar and find some form of solace from her thoughts. Her mind quickly fades back to the predominately bad memories of her mother. Piper had not spoken to her mother in over 5 years since she had left the family home and it had been even more years since she had felt any form of love towards the woman who had given her life. Piper didn't consider herself an overly vengeful person, however, when it came to her parents, she had always shared a blind hatred for them, even somewhat hating herself merely for sharing their bloodline. Because Piper and her mother's relationship had been strained for so many years she found that she wasn't that upset at the woman's untimely demise but rather the task at hand her death would bring.
As she continues to sit alone and take in the night air, she allows her mind to wander back to the phone call she had shared with her younger brother over an hour before. She focuses back to the sound of Cal's small and cracked voice as he had told her that they needed to go back to their childhood home which was filled with some many horrific memories relating to their torturous abuse.
Piper's eyes begin to fill with tears as she hears Cal's pleading words whispered back in her own head. "Pipes, I know how much you hate that place, but we have to go back. I need you to come back, I can't do it alone… not after what happened to Danny there."
Piper hears a sob erupt from deep within her chest at the thought of her older brother, fearing the nightmares that could potentially resurface by merely stepping back into the home where so much bad had happened to her. However, Piper knew it was something she needed to do in order to protect Cal, knowing that he would buckle under the pressure if he had to go at it alone.
Piper remains seated, quietly sobbing to herself, for what seems like forever until she finally finds her thoughts wandering towards her girlfriend and best friend who were probably worried sick about her after her disappearing act at the bar. Nicky has grown accustomed to Piper's fight or flight response when it came to her past, yet she still knew the girl worried immensely every time an incident took place that Piper felt warranted her to do a runner to get away from her emotions. Piper felt a deep sense of guilt set in and she began to picture the concern that Alex must be facing, feeling terrible that she had selfishly and needlessly put Alex through that, knowing that she could tell her girlfriend anything without judgement.
With that thought, Piper pushed herself off from the grass and proceeded to make her way home, knowing that there was a particularly dark and dirty secret of hers that she would need to eventually need to share with the brunette and dreading the moment she would finally allow it to surface.
….
"Fuck," Nicky swears as the three of them enter her apartment, having searched for Piper for hours, but to no avail. Nicky walks to the kitchen and yanks the fridge door open, pulling out three cold beers and passing two of them to the others before unceremoniously throwing herself down onto the leather couch in the living room.
Alex and Lorna soon follow and the three friends sit in absolute silence, the only sound that can be heard filling the room was the incessant ticking of the clock on the far wall. All three were emotionally spent, still holding a grave fear for the blonde and inquisitive as to what her actual emotive reaction to her mother's death was. Piper was a difficult person to read, Nicky had learnt that many years ago early on in their friendship, often spending hours just sitting with her friend before she would even be willing to offer up a small amount of information as to what was troubling her.
Sighing, Nicky closes her eyes and leans back into Lorna, hoping she would provide some comfort from the horrible fear and dread of what Nicky believed Piper might be doing in order to find solace from the pain her mother's death may have brought up, having seen her go down that road years earlier after a similar event.
Alex remains sitting across from the two girls on the small matching leather chair, oblivious to Nicky's secret concern, as she silently nurses her beer as she begins to try to process the events of the past few hours. Alex has seen the runner side of Piper before after her nightmare incident at her own apartment all those weeks ago. However, judging by Nicky's reaction, Alex could tell that this time around that this had the potential to turn into something so much worse.
Picking up her phone, Alex attempts to dial her girlfriend's number and is once again greeted by her message bank. Sighing deeply, she lightly throws her phone in frustration onto the coffee table that sits in front of her. They continue to sit in an uncomfortable silence before Lorna finally speaks up and mutters a few words that shake Alex to her core.
"You don't think she'll start using again?" Lorna whispers Nicky's unspoken concern quietly, having been made previously aware of Piper's serious drug problem when Nicky and Piper were in their late teens.
Nicky's eyes practically bulge out of her head and she snaps her eyes up towards Alex, hoping she hadn't heard her girlfriend's slip of the tongue, knowing that there was no way Piper would have told Alex about that part of her life yet. Alex stares back at her questioningly, her eyes and facial expression clearly showing she wanted some kind of response from Nicky in order to answer the posed question.
Nicky turns back to her girlfriend to answer, hoping Alex will understand that she did not feel comfortable discussing Piper's past without the blonde giving her the okay to do so. Lorna only new the minor details of it after Piper had had a rough night and Nicky had drunkenly and stupidly shared her concerns with her girlfriend. Sitting there on the couch, Nicky still had the fresh memory of just how mad Piper had been when the news of her drunken confession had come to light weeks later and was certainly not willing to make that same mistake of betrayal again.
"Umm, I really don't know," Nicky answers truthfully, avoiding Alex's gaze as to not frighten her with the veracity of her own concerns. Every time Piper would do a runner after some sort of emotional chaos would erupt, Nicky would always have this horrible fear that her best friend would resort back to the method of drugs in order to cope with the anger and stress that past memories would cause to arise, despite knowing the fact that Piper now chose to channel most of those emotions into her boxing.
"Nicky?" Alex pleads, wanting some sort of confirmation as to what troubles her girlfriend had suffered from in the past, simply wanting to help make her feel better under the circumstances.
Nicky finally looks up and meets Alex's imploring eyes before sighing deeply, knowing that she needed to provide some information in order to help put the brunette's mind at ease. "Look Vause, that's not my story to tell. Piper is very selective about what she shares, you of all people should know that. So just let her tell you about it when she is ready, okay?"
Alex shakes her head, still considerably worried about her girlfriend's safety. "I know Nicky, I'm sorry, but even you look fucking worried she might use again and you know her whole history so that doesn't give me a lot of confidence in this."
Nicky sighs again, understanding the emotional distress Alex must be going through and wanting nothing more to calm her until Piper finally returned and they could face whatever issues that have arisen from the death of her mother together. "Alex, Pipes hasn't used in over 5 years. I really don't think she would give that up for someone like her mother, honestly, I'm surprised she even has enough left in her to care about the bitch to let it affect her this much."
Alex sighs and sinks further back into her chair, finding no sense of comfort at the reassuring words of her friend. Piper had had a serious drug problem and this made Alex worry even more. Alex loses herself back into thought before she is snapped to attention by the sound of the front door of the apartment creaking open and the light footsteps padding their way down the hallway and into the lit living room.
Alex exhales a deep breath of relief as her eyes focus on the familiar blonde who rounds the corner of the living room. Jumping from her seat, Alex makes her way quickly over towards her girlfriend and elopes her into a bone-crushing hug, inhaling in her scent with a strong sense of satisfaction.
Piper stands shocked for a few seconds before she returns the hug of her girlfriend, instant guilt returning to wash over her at the thought of the worry she must have felt over the last few hours. Piper pulls back from the hug slightly and lets her eyes wander to meet those of a now furious Nicky. Piper takes a big gulp and pulls away from a reluctant Alex to face her best friend's justified wrath.
Piper smiles lightly at her friend in an effort to ease the strong tension that was slowly filling the room around them. "Look Nic, I'm really so…." she begins before being immediately cut off as her friend wraps her arms around her tightly, with Piper returning the hug with just as much effort.
Pulling back, Nicky takes a quick, sneaky look into Piper's eyes in order confirm if her friend has indeed used any form of narcotics. Seeing the look, Piper smiles tightly and shakes her head, all too aware of, what she thought was her situationally unaware girlfriend, who stands behind them.
Standing back from her best friend, Piper immediately feels the warm comfort of Alex's arms as they snake around her torso from behind, as she kisses the back of Piper's neck affectionately. Sighing, Piper gives the still sitting Lorna a small smile before turning her focus back towards Nicky, who gives her an understanding nod and gestures for her own girlfriend to follow her into her bedroom in order to give her roommate the privacy she needed.
Turning in her arms, Piper faces Alex and wraps her arms around her girlfriend as she rests her forehead against hers. "Look Al, I'm really sorry about tonight," she mumbles, having realised over the last few hours that she in fact wasn't as alone as what she had led herself to believe and felt the need to be somewhat comforted by the brunette who she currently held in her arms.
Alex tucks her head in and gives Piper a deep, passionate kiss in an effort to reassure her, before pulling back and tucking a loose strand of blonde hair behind Piper's ear as she smiles sweetly down at her. "It's okay Pipes, we can talk about it when you are ready. Let's get you to bed," Alex whispers tenderly and softly pulls Piper towards her own bedroom, acutely aware of her girlfriend's utter exhaustion.
Entering her room, Piper allows Alex to pull her towards the bed and guide her gently down onto it, sighing in content as she feels the soft mattress below. Alex removes Piper's shoes, before she bends down over the bed to give Piper a soft kiss goodnight, having every intention of going and sleeping on the couch, knowing Piper felt uncomfortable sleeping next to someone because of her terrifying nightmares. Alex lets her lips linger before she whispers softly against her girlfriend's mouth. "Good night, Pipes," she says before turning on her heel and making her way towards the door only to be stopped by the small voice that whispers behind her.
"Will you stay with me, Alex?" Piper murmurs out nervously, knowing she wanted to remain in the comfort of the brunette's presence throughout the night.
Alex gives Piper a warm smile before making her way back towards the bed, sliding in and taking her girlfriend in her arms. "Always," Alex answers tenderly, bending down to capture Piper's lips in her own before pulling back and allowing her girlfriend to snuggle into her side before they quickly drift off into a comfortable slumber.
…
Piper can feel the feeling of pure horror and sheer panic beginning to pool from her stomach and course itself through her body as stares into black, blood shot spheres that sway in front of her. Shock sets itself into her body and she finds she is unable to move, feet glued to the hard wooden floors as she watches on, unable to rectify the situation that is before her. She begins to shake and a terrified sob erupts from her mouth. The ground begins to shift from beneath her and she is sucked into the terrifying, black pit below, screaming as she makes her decent…
"Pipes," Alex whispers tenderly as she cups her girlfriend's cheek with her left hand, soothingly running the pad of her thumb over it as she attempts to gently rile the screaming and whimpering blonde from her deep sleep.
Piper eyes shoot open and she sits upright abruptly, panting as she attempts to take in enough air to ease herself down from her vicious nightmare spurred on by a horrific memory of her past. Alex sits up and begins to rub her back comfortingly, kissing the back of Piper's neck gently as she waits for the blonde to calm from whatever horrible thought that had flooded through her head.
Over ten minutes pass before Piper finally trusts her voice enough to speak. "I'm sorry, Alex," she apologises, embarrassed that Alex had to yet again bear witness to the aftermath of one of her more disturbing nightmares.
"Hey," Alex murmurs, waiting patiently for the reluctant Piper to return her gaze as she turns her head to face Alex.
Alex sweetly cups Piper's face in her hands before speaking again. "You don't ever have to be sorry, Pipes" she tells her reassuringly, wanting her to know she was going to be there through the good and the bad, no matter what.
Piper looks deeply into Alex's adoring eyes and gives her a half-hearted smile before leaning in to kiss her avidly, a warm, unfamiliar feeling beginning to spread through her body as she feels Alex wrap her long arms protectively around her calming frame. Piper had never felt this feeling before and she can only think that this is perhaps the feeling of love….
A/N And here was some of you thinking I had totally forgot about their older brother Danny :P It was all part of the long game guys and I knew exactly what was happening with him from the day I wrote that first chapter. More will be revealed about Piper's past as we go on the emotional roller coaster that will be the next few chapters. 20 points and the tip of my hat goes to those handful of people who guessed right about Piper's mum. Awesome work guys.
So I opted to have Piper be the one with the past drug abuse history as it makes the most logical sense considering all she has been through and more will be details will be explained in the next few chapters. There are a couple of hints in this chapter as to what they are-so if you can spot them I want to know so I can give you a cookie :P
Next chapter will see a flashback to when Piper was younger and will help begin to explain more about her past. So hopefully you all like the idea of a flashback at this point in time to answer a few of your questions.
As always, please leave a review as it helps me gauge whether I am progressing this story at the right pace and to your expectations. I ask if anyone has any particular scenes or things they would like to see happen in the future to let me know and I will be happy to try to accommodate any requests. I3VauseMan I haven't forgotten your request about the Alex and Piper 'boxing' match so expect some cute Vauseman stuff in a coming chapter.
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