*Depiction of Drug Use*
A/N Hey everyone, new update for you all. Thanks for all the lovely messages/reviews- you are all too kind.
Reviews not answered in PM:
I3VauseMan: Thanks so much. I'll make sure to try and put some humour in whenever I feel it is appropriate. I wrote that her mother died as it fitted better with the context of the story and how I saw it developing in the future. As for your theories, you are very close with a few of them- I won't say which ones because some will be answered in this and next chapter and I don't want to spoil it too much for you. You do deserve a cookie though- next chapter will prove that. "Piper needs to let the realization finally sink in, that she has found her family" that's exactly right and we will see something along those lines later on. I raise my can of coke zero to your review and that quote.
Guest: Haha, I'm glad you are enjoying it that much and I love that OITNB reference.
Sarah Harrison: Thanks so much x
VM: Thanks so much, hopefully you enjoy this update.
So flashbacks will appear in italics. Hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. I sincerely apologise for the mistakes I know exist in this. It is currently quite late at night here and I just wanted to get this posted before I went to bed.
Mrosse38
The morning sun shines brightly through the half-opened curtains of Piper's bedroom, causing the blonde to begin to stir from her sleep. Allowing her eyes to flutter open, Piper lifts her head slightly from her pillow and towards the small clock radio on her bedside table. 7:45am. Groaning slightly, Piper flops her head back down onto the pillow and continues to lay pressed on her stomach, the feeling of Alex's hot breath hitting the nape of her neck as she lays cuddled into Piper's back, still in a deep sleep, her arm draped protectively across Piper. After the events of last night, Piper still couldn't help but feel both emotionally and physically exhausted, even after her semi-peaceful night's sleep in Alex's arms.
Smiling at the sensation of her girlfriend's warmth behind her, Piper gently turns her body over so she is now facing Alex, allowing herself to admire just how beautiful the brunette looked in her state of relaxed sleep. A small sense of guilt began to surface in Piper, knowing the impact last night's nightmare had had on the sleeping brunette. Piper tucks her hands under her pillow and continues to stare at her girlfriend, noting how soft her parted lips looked and feeling the overwhelming need to kiss them. Leaning forward slightly, Piper softly places a kiss onto Alex's lips, feeling them turn up slightly as she begins to rile from her sleep.
Alex's eyes flutter open and a warm smile spreads across her face. "Morning," she whispers, her voice hoarse from sleep, as she rubs the sleep from her eyes with the back of her hand.
Piper returns her smile and leans forward, allowing their lips to meet again, before pulling back and tucking a stray strand of hair back behind Alex's ear. "Morning."
"How are you feeling?" Alex asks gently, allowing her fingers to play absentmindedly with the tips of Piper's long blonde hair.
Piper sighs audibly, the weight of last night's events still heavily resting upon her shoulders, leaving Piper feeling incredibly weighed down emotionally. Piper had always struggled with conveying her emotions, having spent so long training herself to be able to shut them out so that they would cause her no harm. The concept of sharing what she was truly feeling was so foreign to her. Feeling she was unable to give Alex an accurate response, Piper just shrugs her shoulders.
Alex face turns serious and she reaches up to stroke Piper's hair. "Pipes, I know it's tough, but you can't ever do what you did last night again. You had us all so worried."
Piper nods her head and gives Alex a half-hearted smile before replying. "I know," she mumbles, "It's just emotional chaos isn't my strong suit and at the time it seemed much easier to just run, rather than stay and face it."
"I know, baby" Alex croons, rubbing Piper's back soothingly before taking a deep breath, nervously deciding to bring up the topic she had wanted answers to since last night's mention. "Nicky was worried you might use again."
Piper's eyes go wide and Alex feels her body stiffen under the weight of her words, instantly regretting that she may have pushed to blonde too far. Piper knew her dark past of addiction would have to be shared eventually, however, she had been hoping it would be much later on down the line and she would have been prepared in what to say. Piper was not proud of her past, having struggled under the difficult circumstances that surrounded her life, stupidly opting to turn to drugs to ease the pain.
The pounding of the music can be heard through the closed door of the bathroom, the party outside its doors in full swing. Piper keeps her focus firmly upon the white powder on the counter top, separating it into a clean line before snorting the line in one swift movement using the small rolled up paper in her hand.
Usually, Piper would allow herself the time to inject the drug, finding the high was far greater and lasted far longer. However, at events such as parties, the use of the resources needed, proved to be far more difficult to obtain or, in Piper's case, to hide. Piper loved the way she could escape her demons through the use of heroin, it numbing her from the unbearable pain she had faced ever since that afternoon's horrific events.
Piper tilts her head towards the ceiling and smiles as she feels the blissful effects of the drug begin to wash through her bloodstream, her body suddenly feeling alive and the most alert it had been in days. A knock on the door causes Piper to shift her head back towards the noise of the party.
"Pipeeer," the whiny and somewhat irritating voice slurs from the other side, causing Piper to frown as she remembers her companion was waiting for her on the other side. Ashley? Amanda? Piper couldn't remember the needy girl's name she was currently attempting to procure for the night, knowing that she didn't need to as she had plans to bail once she was done with her, never to see the girl again. Piper uses the side of her hand to wipe the remnants of any remaining powder from the counter top and stuffs the small bag of white powder back into her jacket pocket, intending to finish it later. Piper plasters her best fake smile on her face before opening to door to the awaiting girl.
..
Piper shakes the memory from her head and looks back into Alex's eyes. "Don't worry Alex, you don't need to worry about that with me anymore," she replies, attempting to make her words as believable as possible as she reaches her hand across and places in on Alex's side.
In Piper's current frame of mind, she had no desire to go back to that lifestyle, finding that boxing provided a much better high than whatever drug she used to take. Boxing was her own personal form of therapy, allowing her exert some of those inner demons she had so desperately attempted to mask during her time of heavy drug use. In many ways, boxing had acted as Piper's own personal saviour, providing her with the focus and need to stay away from any form of narcotics. Piper knew without boxing, she would have been consumed by the darkness of her drug use years ago and she internally feared the effects of what would happen if she ever lost it, however she would never make that fear known.
"Pipes, Nicky seemed really worried about it and I mean, she knows you better than anyone," Alex responds, not wanting her girlfriend to downplay the pull that drugs had had on her in the past.
Piper rubs her hand up and down Alex's side in an effort to ease her girlfriend's worries, secretly knowing that Nicky's fears were still warranted to some degree. "Al, Nicky just worries because she was there during the worst of it. I've been clean for almost 5 years now and I have never felt the desire to go back. I have had boxing to keep me focused this whole time and there is no way I would ruin what I have worked so hard for just to get some stupid high" Piper states firmly, knowing there was no way she would return to the use of drugs whilst she remained in boxing.
"Besides," Piper whispers quietly, suddenly nervous at what she was about to say. "I have you now, and that's better than any high I could get through drugs."
Alex laughs in response at her girlfriend's cheesiness, before a wide smile appears on her lips as she gazes adoringly into Piper's blue eyes. Alex lifts her head up for her pillow and brings her lips down to meet Piper's, capturing them in a soft kiss that quickly turns into so much more.
Piper shifts herself onto her back, gently pulling Alex to rest on top of her, loving the feeling of their two warm bodies pressed firmly together as their tongues begin the battle for dominance. Piper grips the sides of Alex's hips and pulls her lower half down to meet her own, feeling the heat from Alex's centre radiating between them. Grinding her hips in small circles, Piper is rewarded with a small moan that escapes the brunette's lips. With their lips still firming pressed together, Piper smiles and lets her hand slip down into the back of Alex's jeans, gently massaging the skin that lies underneath with her fingertips.
Alex removes her hands that are currently entangled in Piper's hairs and shifts them down to cup at her girlfriend's chest before bringing them to the hem of her shirt, intending to remove the piece of fabric as quickly as possible.
A loud banging on her door sounds, causing Piper to groan. "I'm going to fucking kill her," she mumbles against Alex's mouth, knowing just who exactly was on the other side of the door.
Alex laughs and shifts herself off of Piper, choosing to return to her original position next to the blonde. "Hey, at least she knocked this time," Alex points out, knowing how Piper's roommate had the tendency to just barge in.
"What?" Piper yells out, her tone clearly showing that her friend was interrupting something.
Piper hears a booming laugh from the other side of the door before it is flung open, revealing a smirking Nicky, who takes in the sight of her two flustered friends, causing her grin to grow even wider.
Nicky takes a step in towards Piper's room before responding. "I'm not interrupting anything am I?" she asks with raised eyebrows, clearing enjoying the suffering her interruption was causing her friend.
"This better be important Nicky or I swear to god I will smother you in your sleep and dispose of your body in the nearest canal," Piper huffs out in frustration, feeling Alex chuckle silently next to her at her dramatics.
Nicky laughs in response, used to her friend's angry banter whenever she interrupted her chances of 'getting some.' "Hmm dark Pipes. Actually, I was coming to see if you guys wanted some pancakes for breakfast, but clearly you guys had the intention of eating muffins. Each other's to be more specific" Nicky snorts out, snickering at her own joke.
Finding it was too early to come up with a witty response, Piper just raises her hand and gives her best friend the finger, a massive 'fuck you' expression plastered on her face.
Nicky laughs again before grabbing the handle of the door and pulling it shut, leaving the two girls alone once again. Piper groans, feeling Alex turn onto her side to face her. "If she hadn't of helped me so much during our friendship, I would throw her annoying ass out on the street," Piper laughs jokingly, knowing that even with her flaws, Nicky was one of the most loyal and trustworthy people Piper could ever hope to have in her life. Nicky had been there through everything, putting up with more than her fair share of Piper's shit, yet never once backing down and allowing herself to give up on Piper.
"For fuck sake Piper," Nicky bellows, taking in the sight of her half-drugged best friend, furious that she continued to put herself through the tortures of drug use.
Piper groans under the loudness of her voice, having spent most of the night high as a kite, somehow managing to stay awake after Nicky had found her slumped form in the basement of a well-known drug hotspot before yanking her friend's sluggish body out and back to her home. "Nicky, please calm down," Piper begs, scratching slightly at the track marks that line the crease of her elbow as she sits on her best friends bed.
"Calm down? You want me to fucking calm down?" Nicky screams, her voice echoing from the walls of the room, causing Piper to flinch. "I gave you a free pass after Danny, but this" she yells, gesturing towards Piper, "has gone fucking far enough Piper. For fuck's sake, you could have OD'd in that piece of shit house and no one would have ever known. I love you to death Pipes and I get that things are fucking shit, I really do, but this has to stop NOW."
Piper cringes under her friend's fury, even in her drug induced state being able to feel the pain in her voice. Piper had never intended for it to go this far, but after her brother, she found herself slowing dipping and experimenting with more and more drugs, eventually allowing it to transform itself into a full on addiction. As much as she loved Nicky and hated hurting her, the drugs eased the ever impending pain and allowed herself to be free of her twisted world, even if it was for only moments in time. Until Piper found another way to ease the pain, she felt compelled to continue the use of the drugs.
"Do you think this is what Danny would have wanted for you?" Nicky asks, knowing that the mention of her brother would almost certainly get a rise out of Piper.
Hearing her brother's name mentioned, Piper explodes in a rage. "Don't you dare fucking mention his name," she spits at her best friend. "I don't give a fuck what he wanted, he left. He took the easy way out. He's gone and he's not coming back." Piper voice breaks as she yells the final few words, tears begin to flow down her face as she sinks to the floor, her chest beginning to heave involuntarily under the emotional strain of her brother's abandonment.
"He left me," Piper sobs.
"Pipes," Nicky says softly, bending down and wrapping her arms around her best friend, blinking back tears from her own eyes. She rests her forehead against Piper's. "We'll get through this Pipes, I promise. We'll get through this together."
"Piper," Alex calls for the fifth time, finally breaking Piper's difficult reminisce down memory lane.
Snapping her head up, Piper looks across the room towards her now standing girlfriend, who looks at her questioningly. "Mmm, sorry, what were you saying?" Piper asks.
"I said that I want you to be able to feel like you can talk to me about what happened last night. I know there is something you aren't telling me Pipes and I don't want to push you into anything. But please baby, know that I am here for you," Alex says, the pure dedication and devotion for her girlfriend shining through her eyes.
Piper smiles at Alex's words, knowing she would eventually need to find the courage to tell her about her impending trip to her childhood home and the problematic effect it could possibly have on her. "I know," Piper says simply as she rises from the bed and walks towards Alex, wrapping her arms around her neck. "But first, let's take a shower."
Alex watches lustfully as Piper strips from her clothes, allowing her eyes to rake over the naked form that was her girlfriend's body. Feeling Alex's stares, Piper turns around to face her, a smirk playing on her lips as she brings her hands to the hem of Alex's shirt and lifts it up over her head, revealing her bare chest underneath. Alex quickly strips herself of her remaining clothing and grabs Piper's hand, pulling her into the shower.
The warm water flows freely over their intertwined bodies, Piper's head tucked into Alex's shoulder as she allows her mind to fall on the task of having to return back to her childhood home. Piper felt a pure sense of fear at the thought of having to return to a place that held such horrible memories, knowing she would struggle under the weight of what had happened to her eldest brother in the confines of that home.
Piper wraps her arms tightly around Alex and buries her face further into her shoulder as her mind replays the images of the day that everything changed, the day the final amount of good left in her world vanished. Feeling the tension in Piper, Alex tightens her hold, placing a soft kiss on her neck in comfort.
Piper allows her body to relax slightly under Alex's gentle touch and she pulls her face back to look into Alex's eyes, muttering the words she so dreaded to accept. "Cal needs me to go back with him to our parent's house, he can't go there alone. Not after Da…..not after all that happened there," Piper whispers, finally providing Alex with some explanation as to why she had been so scared about the situation last night. Aside from her immediate family, Nicky was the only person who knew what had happened to Danny and Piper found that, even though she knew Alex cared for her deeply, she presently couldn't bring herself to allow the repressed memory to resurface.
Alex cups Piper's face with her hands, running the pad of her right thumb in a soothing circle. "Are you going to be okay to do that?" she asks gently, knowing that Piper had not returned to that place since she left at aged 18.
Piper shakes her head slightly. "I don't know, but I'm going to have to be" she whispers, knowing that her youngest brother could not do this alone and feeling it was selfish of her to ask him to do so. Piper was extremely worried about the memories her return would allow to surface, fearing that her younger brother would struggle too much under the weight of the events that had occurred there. A thought, or rather a need, suddenly occurred to Piper as she remained in the protective warmth of Alex's arms. "Would you come with me?" Piper asks timidly, knowing that the brunette could help ease some of the pain from the old wounds that she knew would re-open during the trip.
Alex pulls Piper closer in her arms and buries her face into the crook of her neck, allowing her lips to brush against the skin. "Of course I will," Alex murmurs, pleased that Piper now trusted her enough to begin to share the final details of her past with her.
Piper feels a wave of relief rush over her at Alex's words, knowing that this was the first step in having enough courage to return to that place. Piper pulls her head back and presses her forehead against Alex's. "Thank you," she whispers gratefully, allowing her lips to lightly brush up against the brunette's.
She could do this.
A/N Did we like the way that flashbacks were written or do you prefer when I just skim over the basics using present day dialogue? Let me know as I have other flashbacks type events planned for the future and want to tailor them to how you guys want to see them written. I felt like writing them the way I did above helps add the detail needed to fully understand Piper's back story. So please let me hear some feedback about how well they did/didn't work.
For those who are still trying to guess about Danny here is a hint- there is a specific sentence in the dream sequence in Chapter 11 that reveals what exactly happened to him, you just have to read between the lines a little. Keep the guesses coming though as some of you are VERY close. I feel like a lot of you will be able to guess what it is with the clues from this chapter.
As always thanks for the reviews/PM, they really help keep me motivated to update as quickly as possible- so keep them coming. Also, thanks for all the follows and favs.
Mrosse38