Supernova
By Willow Athena
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of its characters, but Rien and this story are definitely mine
Author's note: This chapter is for all those who love him...you know who you are!
Chapter 16 – In Breath and Shadow
Byakuya arrived. Against his better judgement, he had agreed to meet Ukitake taichou at the Shihouin manor. He could only think of one reason why Ukitake would not leave this place and meet him somewhere more appropriate. He pushed the thought out of his mind as soon as it had entered. He had become adept at that – not thinking about her.
Ukitake had requested that he shunpo to his location upon arriving. He found it odd that there were no guards walking around, it looked like this portion of the estate had been deserted. This aroused Byakuya's curiosity but, he pushed that too aside – why should he care. Had it been any other taichou except his former sensei, he would of refused the meeting outright. But, he owed him a great deal, and respected his noble and honourable former sensei.
Byakuya gauged Ukitake's reiatsu and determined his location. He was not far, on the third floor of the building a short distance away. He shunpo'ed to the entrance to the room.
"Come in," Ukitake said, perhaps a little too coldly, considering what he would ask from Byakuya. Byakuya walked through the open door, and was surprised to find the Quincy had also been invited to the meeting. Ukitake continued to look out the west window of the room, contemplating how the beauty of the setting sun paled in comparison to his previous vantage point.
The Quincy's presence displeased Byakuya greatly. This was a farce of a meeting, he thought. "What is this about? I have other business to attend to," he dismissively said, looking at the Quincy leaning against the post of a large bed in the middle of the room.
"All I ask is that you listen and think about what we have to say to you," Ukitake implored, turning towards his former student. "Ishida," he stated, as though it were a command for a rehearsed performance to begin. Byakuya was intrigued enough to entertain the request, but was increasingly irked by the Quincy's involvement.
"I think we can all agree that we all played some part in Rien's current condition," Ishida coldly began, the glare of the sun hitting his glasses, making his eyes unreadable. Byakuya did not care for this topic, and the Quincy was not going to induce him to discuss a topic that was as dead to him as its victim. No, she's not a victim, he thought. He had done nothing wrong, she had broken the law, and was punished for it, as ordered!
Byakuya turned to leave – this had been an immense waste of time. The Quincy was lucky he had not killed him that night but, he would not be that lucky again. Miracles were in short supply, after all.
"Byakuya!" Ukitake commanded. Byakuya had stopped. He hadn't meant to, but it was like a reflex, a conditioned response to this voice. He had not heard Ukitake speak this way in a long time. As he turned, he saw the desperate anger in Ukitake's face. "All I'm asking right now, is that you listen." His words were distinct and clear.
"The only reason Rien came to soul society was to save you," Ishida continued his rehearsed performance.
Byakuya's expression clearly read, As though I would ever need to be saved.
"She thought you were in danger, she had no thought past that. There was an unquenchable desperation in her to do whatever she could, even if it meant putting herself in your place."
One eyebrow slightly cocked in Ishida's direction, But, you're the one she saved, his expression clearly read.
"I know she saved me, she saved Ukitake taichou…"
"She saved you too, Byakuya," Ukitake darkly added. Byakuya 'hmped' doubtfully at the suggestion.
"She's going to die in a few moments," Ukitake added, as Ishida moved, allowing Byakuya full view of the small unconscious girl silently lying on the bed.
"She asked for you a few times last week, but I knew you wouldn't come, so…" Ishida added.
Byakuya was shocked that they would try to pull this stunt. What purpose could it have – to make him feel guilt? It didn't really matter what they were saying, what was happening around him. He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. As he looked at her inconsequential small body lying there, he remembered being at Hisana's bedside as she died and he helplessly watched. He would not endure this again, he would not sit by and watch her die.
Ishida continued, his talking was a jumble of complex thoughts which Byakuya could not comprehend. He didn't care to know about theories and research now.
He would not stay to watch her die. He could not stay. He vowed he would kill them for this another day, but right now, he had to leave. Byakuya was not used to this feeling, his desperate need to flee. He attempted to maintain control of his expression, which he knew had already betrayed him to them. He didn't care that she was going to die, it was just the situation, he kept telling himself. "You both will pay dearly for this," he vowed, rage filling his usually flat voice.
He turned to leave, but Ukitake had anticipated him, and now stood in the way of his exit. "Byakuya! Don't you understand, there's a small chance you can save her," Ukitake almost pleaded.
"Why should it matter to me? I don't care about her fate." His cool silver eyes took a dark turn.
"You bastard!" Ishida yelled from behind him.
"That's fine. But Byakuya, if you don't at least try to save her, I promise, it will be I who finds you," Ukitake promised, in his most calm tone. "If there was a chance I could have saved the woman you loved, I would have at least tried. I'm not asking for certainty, all I ask is that you try," he added, sounding more compassionate, knowing what this was probably doing to his former student.
"Please Byakuya," Ishida pleaded from behind him.
Byakuya had been affected by Ukitake's words. When Hisana had been ill, his former sensei had tried everything in his power to help Byakuya find a cure for her. Ukitake had searched endlessly for a cure – so Byakyau would not have to leave her side. He had cashed in countless favours, and had even tried to help him find Rukia for Hisana, before she died. But, this theory about theirs, about a kiss, it was truly ridiculous, bound to fail – leaving him holding the girl as she died, just as he had with Hisana. It was a fools errand, and he was no fool.
As he found himself contemplating helping them, he shook the idea out of his mind. How could someone be given the 'spark of life'? Why would they think she would let him of all people into her inner world, he was after all, the cause of all her current suffering. No more, he thought. It would never work. As the thoughts visibly crossed his face, Ukitake turned to leave and Ishida followed.
"Where do you think you're going?" Byakuya snapped. The situation had unsettled him. He could no longer trust that he would not simply kill them all where they stood.
"We'll come back in an hour," Ukitake evenly replied.
"You're going to leave her here to die? Alone?!" A hint of distaste crept into Byakuya's voice.
"Well, she's not alone, now is she, Byakuya? We are all born alone, why should death be any different," Ukitake replied with a hard, determined look colouring his serene features.
"I won't do it! I won't stay!" Byakuya voice was cold steel.
"You have to try or else…" Ishida desperately threatened.
"No Ishida!" Ukitake corrected. "It has to be a kiss freely given, or it won't work!" Ukitake looked at Byakuya, who stood encased in frozen rage, in the middle of the room. "He has to want to kiss her…" Both were fixated on Byakuya now. "…and not just because he wants to save her life, but because if the rest of the world didn't exist, she would be worthy of one, small, insignificant kiss from him." Ukitake had chosen his word carefully.
"She doesn't have much longer, think about it." Ukitake pressured the frozen Byakuya. He and Ishida disappeared in that moment, leaving the room to gestate in its silence.
Byakuya took a moment to compose himself, then headed for the door. This was ridiculous, they had obviously both been driven mad by grief, but he would still not forgive them for doing this to him.
As he reached the door, he froze. He couldn't understand it at first – why his legs would not move, but, it slowly dawned on him. He just couldn't leave her to die. Alone. Even though he didn't care for her, he could not leave her. Ukitake had known this, and Byakuya cursed him for it.
Byakuya paced the room for ten minutes, pushing away all the thoughts flooding his mind. He had hoped that they would return, so he could leave but, by now, he had realised that they were not coming back. He wondered if Yoruichi knew, if she had helped them orchestrate this perfect snare for him. Of course she knew, he thought.
He slowly made his way towards the bed, to see if the reports of her imminent death were serious. She looked perfectly healthy to him. She was fine, peaceful even – not struggling to live as Hisana had. Then he remembered Ishida's words, "She's given up, she doesn't want to live anymore." The thought hurt Byakuya, for a reason he did not want to contemplate.
He wanted her to live. It was such an irrational thought, considering she meant nothing to him – why should he care. He at least did not want her to die – that was reasonable, wasn't it? He was not as cold, heartless and disengaged as others thought him to be. He could care about another soul without it being more than that.
It was just concern.
Half an hour had passed. They really weren't coming back, he decided. He had spent the time hovering near where she lay, attempting to detect any change. If only she had some reiatsu, I could tell how she was doing, he thought, idly edging closer to the bed.
He would never admit it out loud, but now that he looked at her up close, he found her breathtaking. They had dressed her beautifully today, he thought. The expensive white windflower silk of the kimono was contrasted beautifully by her golden skin and long black hair. He remembered the smell of her hair, and how it had taken him days of long showers to get the lingering strawberry scent off of his body. He thought about the subtle contrasting lavender scent of her skin, only noticeable when kissing her.
He began to feel hot. The excessively hot day had been taking its toll on him – he hated the heat. He berated himself for letting his mind wonder to thoughts he had long since banished from his consciousness. He took off his gloves and scarf, and placed them on the distant corner of the large bed. He was frustrated, he didn't feel like controlling it, there would be no one left to remember it anyway. Her silence annoyed him. It had been 45 minutes since he had been held captive, she would in theory, die soon. He wished it was over already. He wanted to move on – forget. He did NOT want to be here, but, he could not tear himself away.
He noticed her previously full red lips begin to turn blue, and he rushed to her side. He held her hand, as he had with Hisana. Inwardly he cursed his fate. But, he would stay here with her, he would hold her hand, she would know she was not alone when she died.
He sat on the edge of the bed, next to her hand, using both his hands, he tenderly encased her right hand. He noticed how small her hands looked within his, and how cold they felt. It would not be long now.
The red silk trim of the kimono's inner garment looked beautiful against her neck. Her skin looked soft, vulnerable, fragile. He could already smell the faint strawberry of her now. He wondered if the subtle lavender scent of her skin would persist after death. The thought suddenly stabbed him.
She's dying.
Adrenalin surged through his body. His heart began to race. He felt an unfamiliar panic rise in him. He didn't want her to die. He hadn't meant for her to get hurt that day. He had hated her intensely before, he had thought about killing her everytime some girl would giggle at him because of the scandal. She had injured his pride, his noble status, she had all but shattered the public image he projected for Seireitei. He had every reason to hate her, to want her dead.
"Don't die," he whispered as he laced his right hand in her raven hair, to support her head. She still lay silent, motionless and cold. He placed his left hand between her shoulder blades, and pulled her limp body up to his. She felt so light in his arms, like air. His forehead was against hers. As he opened his eyes, he saw her left hand begin to disappear, disintegrating, one tiny blue particle of light at a time.
He felt his heart begin to tear, and his volatile emotions resurface. "Don't…leave…me," he whispered against her lips. He placed his now burning lips to hers and drowned in the lavender scent of her skin.
It was a desperate, yearning kiss. Her lips were cold and motionless, but were easily parted by his. Byakuya opened his eyes. There had been no response from her, no lingering kiss back. He watched as more of her left arm began to disappear, cursing his foolish belief, that ounce of hope that he had placed in the Quincy's words at this last second. There really was no hope, no saving her.
"Rien," he pleaded, his lips still touching hers. It had burnt a hole in his heart to say it, especially now. He pressed his lips against hers with urgency, then abandon. Hoping all the while that she would not disappear beneath his touch.
Author's Note
I just wanted to warn people that updates may be slower from now on, cause I will be starting work soon, and cause I have become obsessed with Final Fantasy, and have written a story for that (actually written two, but I'm only posting one for now) – if anyone wants to check it out, that would be awesome. Don't worry, I have not given up on this story. This is still my primary story, I'm just fooling around with FF VII for fun…its really nothing compared to the magnitude of this story, just like short writing exercises.
I could be mean, and leave you in suspense at this moment…
But, you know I'm not, so "Happy New Year", and go to the next chapter.