EXT. PLAPTOO TRADING STATION – THE CRATER MOON BENZO
In orbit around the lush green planet of Hipto is the moon Benzo, an enormous satellite devastated on one side by an ancient collision with another interstellar body. As a result, one half of the sphere is missing, replaced by a giant crater, its sides artificially excavated in order to implant the Plaptoo Trading Station.
The trading station looks like a silver beehive, made up of seven concentric circular tubes stacked one on top of the other, with the smallest at the bottom. Ships access the station by carefully navigating the back and forth traffic and docking with the outermost ring.
DOCTOR (V.O.)
The year was Higgin, Top of Yan. For you, that'd be around, oooooh, four hundred million BC, give or take a millennium or twelve. The place was Plaptoo Station on the moon of Benzo, orbiting Hipto.
ROSE (V.O.)
Am I going to have to remember these names?
DOCTOR (V.O.)
I'm just setting the stage. Relax your face.
ROSE (V.O.)
Sorry.
INT. MARKETPLACE - PLAPTOO TRADING STATION
Aliens of dynamic shapes and sizes descend upon various shops and kiosks selling eclectic nic nacs, foods, gadgets, anything else a person could think of, plus a few things no one would think of. It's like the mall on Black Friday meets the Roman Forum. Among the crowd is the Doctor, dressed in a brown waistcoat, burgundy vest over a plain white shirt, tweed pants, and dress shoes, with a striped scarf that wraps once around his neck and hangs down to just above his kneecaps.
The Doctor smiles to people he's never met in his life, shakes the hands of complete strangers, and even stops to plant a kiss on the cheek of someone he'll never see again. He makes his way from shop to shop, sampling the local cuisine.
DOCTOR (V.O.)
I had arrived there in the Tardis intent on winning a little wager I had made with a friend of mine. You see, the Hiptots were famous for their wheat exports. The whole planet had been declared an agriculture planet years before, and for good reason. You've never seen a more lush world, with dirt so rich in nutrients, you could bend down, grab a handful of muck, spit in it, and you'd grow another you. Hand to my hearts. But, I was there for the bread.
The Doctor steps up to the counter of a bakery shop run by a portly bald little fellow named VINNY. He bosses around a literal swarm of bees the size of fists as they kneed some dough by the side of an industrial oven.
VINNY
Hey, be careful with that. Your health plan don't cover if another one of you's gets kneeded into the dough, capiche?
INT. TARDIS
Rose laughs.
ROSE
There's no way he really talked like that.
DOCTOR
Hand to my hearts.
ROSE
You're doing voices.
DOCTOR
That's how he talked. Hey, oh, you wanna hear da rest of da story, or what?
ROSE
Oh, please continue.
She rolls her eyes.
INT. MARKETPLACE – PLAPTOO TRADING STATION
The bees buzz something vulgar at Vinny. He sees the Doctor at the counter and drops what he's doing. He flips the bees a derogatory gesture of his own on his way to the counter.
VINNY
Yeah, sir, what'll ya have?
DOCTOR
I'm here for the bread; two Markovia loaves. Your freshest, if you please.
Vinny waddles over to the stacks of bread on display, grabs a pair of loaves and returns to the counter.
VINNY
That'll be ten and ten.
The Doctor pulls some money from his pocket and hands it to Vinny. While he waits for change, he can't resist pulling the end off one of the fresh loaves. He takes a bite.
DOCTOR
I can't begin to tell you how far I've come for these. I made a bet with this friend of mine over the best sandwich in the universe, you see, and...
The Doctor chews, stops, chews, stops.
VINNY
Yeah, and?
DOCTOR
This isn't Markovia loaf.
VINNY
Sure it is, what are you talkin' about? Gimme that.
Vinny grabs the piece of bread still in the Doctor's hand and shoves it in his own mouth.
VINNY
(chewing)
Mmm-yeah, see? Markovia loaf. Chewy, crunchy, no better bread anywhere in the cosmos. Mmm, that flavor. You won't find that anywhere else.
While Vinny rants, the Doctor is distracted when his hand rubs across something wet on the counter in front of him. He looks down and sees glowing blue paint on the counter and now on his hand. He looks to his right, down the row of shops where can be seen a single brush stroke of glowing blue paint on the counters of the next ten shops in view.
Confused, but unconcerned, the Doctor grabs some napkins from the counter, wipes his hand, and continues the conversation.
DOCTOR
Listen, friend, I've had Markovia loaf. This is not Markovia loaf. It's very good, but I'm trying to win a bet, here.
VINNY
And you listen to me, friend, if this isn't genuine Markovia loaf, may the Grand Heelix herself strike me down where I stand.
As if on cue, an explosion rips through Vinny's shop. Bread, bees, and debris flies everywhere. The Doctor is launched several feet backwards and lands on his back. People scream and flee the scene. The Doctor, dazed, covers himself up the best he can to avoid being trampled.
When some of the dust has cleared, the Doctor sits up. He looks to his left and sees a PURPLE SKINNED MAN (22), with seashell shaped eyes and wearing a flimsy beige cloak, lying prone on the ground, unmoving. The Doctor immediately springs into action and crawls over to the man, first shielding him from being trampled, then checking his vitals.
DOCTOR
If you can hear me, everything's going to be all right. I'm a Doctor.
The Doctor performs CPR on the unconscious man.
DOCTOR
Come on. You're fine. Barely even scratched. I won't be having this dying nonsense.
The Doctor balls up his fist and pounds on the man's chest once, twice... His fist glows blue each time he brings it closer to the man's chest. On the third shot, the man gasps for air, suddenly alive after being on the brink of death.
DOCTOR
There we go. That's right. Easy, now.
Eight purple skinned SECURITY OFFICERS run to the scene carrying plasma rifles. Their leader, GENERAL LAGYOT, is a hulk of a man with scarlet eyes that could make a brick crap itself. He arrives at the Doctor's side mid-tantrum.
LAGYOT
… and cover all the damn exits! I want-
Lagyot stops when he sees the face of the man whose life the Doctor just saved.
LAGYOT
Teezu?
DOCTOR
Prince Teezu?
The man, Prince Teezu, wheezes as he breathes, but nonetheless manages to get to his feet and run in the opposite direction.
DOCTOR
How do you like that? I just saved the Prince's life.
And for his trouble, the Doctor looks up just as Lagyot turns and knocks him cold with a single punch.
INT. THRONE ROOM – ROYAL PALACE OF KING YOOLI
KING YOOLI sits on his throne like an Egyptian Pharoah, his broad purple chest bare behind the golden beard that dangles from his chin to his navel. He wears a column-shaped crown of ivory and rare gems, engraved with a relief image of himself.
The throne and room around him are similarly ostentatious, with rows of gilded wheat embedded just beneath the surface of the marble floor, giving the impression of walking on a sea of husks. Rows of statues on either side depict men with alien farm-animal heads. Each beast holds in their hands another metal tool typical of an ancient agrarian society; a scythe, a flail, a pick, etc...
The cathedral ceiling depicts a sun god raining its glorious light down on the people, with the back of the throne extending from the floor to ceiling, indicating a strong spiritual connection between the sun god and the reigning king.
KING YOOLI
I am overcome with grief. There is an open wound on Hipto's soul, and the blood of the innocent bleeds from it. My son, Teezu, tells me he would have been among the casualties had you not saved his life. While others ran in the face of tremendous evil, it is because of you, great healer, that my son still lives, and you shall forever have my gratitude.
The perspective changes and we see the Doctor, bound by chains around his neck, ankles, and wrists, flanked on both sides by Lagyot and security officers wielding plasma rifles.
DOCTOR
… You're welcome.
The Doctor tries lifting a hand to his head to salute the king, but the chains don't allow him enough slack. He bows instead.
KING YOOLI
Release him and go.
Lagyot stays behind as the security officers unlock the Doctor's chains, collect them, and scurry away. The Doctor calls after them.
DOCTOR
I had a scarf. No? Not getting that back? All right, then.
King Yooli stands up from the throne and approaches the Doctor and Lagyot.
KING YOOLI
Forgive me for the personal intrusion, but in an attempt to verify your identity, we took the liberty of performing a DNA scan from a sample we took from your finger. You are a Time Lord, are you not?
DOCTOR
I am.
KING YOOLI
The reputation of your people precedes you, then. Perhaps fortune smiles on us more than we could have known. My father, King Quatto, encountered a Time Lord in his third year. He spoke very highly of him, and told me he had within him the wisdom of nine hundred lives lived.
The Doctor rocks his hand back and forth, as if to say "give or take".
DOCTOR
King Yooli, before the explosion, I was talking to one of the shop owners, a baker.
KING YOOLI
He is well.
DOCTOR
I'm relieved to hear it. That man owes me money. He sold me lousy bread, and I'm trying to win a bet. Now, what can you tell me about the bomb?
KING YOOLI
I will show you what we have.
King Yooli and Lagyot escort the Doctor to...
INT. BRIEFING ROOM – ROYAL PALACE OF KING YOOLI
An intimate conference room, albeit fit for a king. In the center sits an interactive touch-table with a holographic three-dimensional display. The lights dim as Lagyot operates the table, which illustrates the things he says as he recounts everything they know about the crime.
LAGYOT
Surveillance systems in the immediate area were disabled well in advance of the attack. What you're seeing here is a reconstruction from footage we acquired from cameras in sections Zed-Zed twelve through Zed-Zed sixteen and Frey-Orr two through Frey-Orr four. As you can see, at approximately two two one eight point seven, there was a single localized explosion between shops forty-ten and forty-twelve. Five people in the immediate area were killed. Twenty more were injured. All things considered, we're lucky we didn't lose station containment, or a lot more lives would have been lost.
The Doctor rubs his own neck as he watches a replay of himself being thrown back by the explosion.
LAGYOT
Based on cobenium metal fragments recovered from the scene, we're leaning towards a pocket grenade or possibly some sort of remote detonation, but we'll have more once a full analysis can be completed.
DOCTOR
I assume we're all thinking the same thing; that this was someone's attempt to assassinate the Prince?
KING YOOLI
Actually, that might have been a coincidence.
DOCTOR
Ooo, I don't like that word.
KING YOOLI
My son was supposed to be with me at the time of the explosion, here, on Hipto. But our relationship is not what it was when he was a child. It has frayed over time.
LAGYOT
Prince Teezu snuck out of the palace this morning and flew his own personal, unregistered, craft to the station. He then boarded the station under an alias and cloaked himself in peasant garments so as not to be recognized. It appears to have been an unscheduled visit and no one knew he was going to be onboard.
DOCTOR
Well, that doesn't make sense.
KING YOOLI
Much of this doesn't make sense, Doctor, which is why I'm personally requesting your assistance with this investigation.
LAGYOT
My king, I assure you, my men and I can handle...
KING YOOLI
Not another word. I will have the fiend who perpetrated this cowardly attack on my people, and almost stole my son from me. With the help of a Time Lord, justice is assured.
DOCTOR
Oh, I don't know, Lagyot seems to be doing a fine job with it all.
KING YOOLI
I would consider it a personal favor and... I might be able to offer you some fresh prime Markovia loaf prepared by my personal bakers from the finest wheat of the Gantha Province. Such bread would otherwise be for consumption by members of the royal family alone.
The Doctor thinks.
DOCTOR
I'll need access to the crime scene.
KING YOOLI
Lagyot will escort you on my personal transport.
DOCTOR
I'll want to interview the Prince.
KING YOOLI
I'll have him transported to the station as well.
DOCTOR
And I want a new scarf. Also, what about that blue paint I saw everywhere? Did that have any connection to the attack?
King Yooli looks to Lagyot for an explanation. Lagyot appears confused.
LAGYOT
We did not find any out of the ordinary 'blue paint' at the scene.
DOCTOR
Huh.
The Doctor smiles and smacks Lagyot in the arm.
DOCTOR
Then, it looks like my first job will be to re-do yours, ay big fella?
The Doctor turns and marches toward the exit.
DOCTOR
To the station, Jeeves!
Lagyot groans.
INT. MARKETPLACE – PLAPTOO TRADING STATION
A large section of the station, where the bomb went off, remains cordoned off by royal security. The Doctor and Lagyot cross the security line while trying to avoid bumping into any of the many FORENSIC INVESTIGATORS.
The Doctor appraises the scene.
DOCTOR
Boy, it looks like a bomb went off in this place.
He smiles.
INT. TARDIS
The Doctor smiles. Rose grimaces.
DOCTOR
Nothing? I thought it was funny.
ROSE
Five people died and you were cracking jokes?
DOCTOR
It's how I deal with stressful situations.
ROSE
I thought this was going to be a happy story.
DOCTOR
It has a happy ending.
ROSE
Then, let's get to it, please.
DOCTOR
Okay, so, I went to work looking for signs of the blue paint.
INT. MARKETPLACE – PLAPTOO TRADING STATION
The Doctor searches pile after pile of the debris, various shops, and the former location of Vinny's bakery. Lagyot follows him at all times.
DOCTOR (V.O.)
Couldn't find any anywhere, and the whole time, this Lagyot fellow is riding my heels, just loving it.
LAGYOT
My men have been over every square inch of this place, Doctor. I assure you, if there was any strange blue paint, my men would have seen it.
The Doctor pauses a moment to think.
DOCTOR
Would they have? The blast happened right over there.
The Doctor walks to "right over there".
DOCTOR
And I was standing over there.
He points left.
DOCTOR
Let's assume I saw what I know I saw. Because I saw it, you nut. The line extended at least ten shops down. Let's say it ended right over there.
He points right.
DOCTOR
That's awfully close, isn't it? I mean, I'm right in the middle of it, aren't I? So, why can't I see it?
He looks around when, out of the corner of his eye, he spots Prince Teezu, escorted by a pair of ROYAL BODYGUARDS. They approach the security line.
DOCTOR
Ah, just the Prince I was looking for. Prince. Oh, Priiiince.
The Doctor marches over to the line and reaches his hand out to Prince Teezu. As he gets closer, the Doctor's hand glows bright blue. Everyone stops to notice, including the Doctor himself.
DOCTOR
Huh.
The Doctor looks around at his feet and notices a few microscopic specks of glowing blue paint on the floor. Behind him, farther away from the Prince, the paint goes dim and then vanishes. In front of him, closer to the Prince, the paint glows brighter.
DOCTOR
Oh, that's good.
The Doctor marches over to the security line and reaches for Prince Teezu's arm. The bodyguards block his way.
DOCTOR
It's all right. No harm will come of him.
Prince Teezu disarms his men with a glance and allows the Doctor to drag him closer to ground zero. The closer the Prince gets to the blast site, the more bright blue paint becomes visible. At the center of it all, it's as if someone put a stick of dynamite in a can of paint. Lagyot and the forensic investigators look on, surprised. The Doctor scans the splatter with the sonic screwdriver.
DOCTOR
Blue paint... otherwise known, in this case, as a polydextrose phosphorescent solution infused with scanbots. They're microscopic little buggers and I think you'll find that they're everywhere, specifically keyed to lock in on Prince Teezu's DNA and then transmit a signal to a secondary device.
LAGYOT
Like a detonator.
DOCTOR
Like a detonator. They wouldn't have to know when he was going to be here, just that he would be here at some point. Good news, Lagyot, this was no random terrorist attack. This was just a good old fashioned assassination attempt.
Prince Teezu shoots the Doctor a glance.
DOCTOR
Oh, well, bad news for you, old boy.
The Doctor shrugs.
-To be Continued...-