Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last chapter. Look another timelier update. Also thank you to Nina, who agreed to take over proofreading duties on this story.
Formatting note: This chapter will take place in text message format. However, I'm writing out words because dyslexia makes reading the language of text messages very difficult.
Chapter 39: The Secret Life of Amanda Somers-Canon's Cell Phone
11/23/2006 19:23
Boyfriend K: I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. My grandmother said those awful things about you and I just reacted. She doesn't know you. You're a really good person. I shouldn't have let it slip about Spencer, she just made me so angry. Can you please come back so we can talk about this?
11/23/2006 19:27
Boyfriend K: Amanda, I'm sorry. I know I should've told you about Spencer, but Faye asked me not to. She wanted to give you time to get to know him. Just come back so we can talk about this.
11/23/2006 19:45
Boyfriend K: I will buy you shoes. I will carry you everywhere tomorrow. I will let you be on top. You can use your favorite purple toy, the strap on one. I will be your willing slave just come back.
11/23/2006 20:09
Boyfriend K: I'm an idiot. A complete dick. I'm not good enough for you. I know I hurt you, just by the look on your face, but did you really have to strand me in the middle of nowhere with my family and your nephew? Please comeback Amanda. Please? I will do that thing with my tongue if you just come back.
11/23/2006 20:34
Boyfriend K: Amanda just please come back so we can talk. Or you can just yell at me and I'll listen. If you don't want to talk just tell me that you're okay. You left in a hurry and I know you were drinking. As Monique will tell you driving drunk, especially on the holidays, is bad for all involved.
11/23/2006 21:43
Mommy Faye: Kenny told me about his holiday fuck up. That's not how I wanted you to find out about Spencer. I told Kenny not to tell you because I wanted you to get to know Spencer first. Of course I was under the impression your boyfriend could keep a secret. Kenny has always been great with keeping my long, illustrious history of plastic surgeries out of the tabloids. I guess I should've known better.
11/23/2006 21:45
Boyfriend K: I give up on you coming back. At least for me. That's why I called Faye to come get me and Alex. I thought about calling in a town car because your nephew has executive privileges, but even they won't come out to New Jersey for reasons I don't even want to know. Just send me a message to know that you're okay and not passed out at a bar somewhere or wrapped around a tree. I'm worried about you. I'm always worried about you.
11/23/2006 21:53
Boyfriend K: I'm worried because I care. Maybe I care too much. I've never felt the way I feel about you about for anyone else. I wanted my family to like you and I went too far. This is not how any of us wanted you to find out about Spencer. I can't apologize enough. I'm going to keep doing it until you actually forgive me.
11/23/2006 22:14
Boyfriend K: I knew that meeting your father would be hard on you and I was scared for you. I wasn't sure how you were going to react, I heard stories about what happened when you found out you were adopted. You were the talk of the mode rumor mill for weeks. I feared your reaction was going to be just as bad. I guess I was right, considering you abandoned me when you found out the truth.
11/23/2006 22:18
Boyfriend K: I know I screwed up. I should've told you what was going on as soon as I discovered that Marisol used the corporate card to pay for the DNA test. I think I went along with Faye's plan because I don't want you to be in pain. Yet here we are and you have no idea how sorry I am because of that. The last thing I ever wanted to do is hurt you.
11/23/2006 22:31
Boyfriend K: You don't have to call me. I completely understand if you delete my number from your phone, but just let someone know you're okay. I just need to know that you're all right.
11/23/2006 23:01
Mommy Faye: I'm going to be at Kenny's parents' house in half an hour to come get him. Meet me there and we can go wherever you want, even if they serve nothing but chocolate and cheesecake. Can we please just talk about this?
11/23/2006 23:39
Mommy Faye: I just had to traipse all the way to New Jersey to get your boyfriend and Alex. At the very least, you could respond to my text messages or phone calls. You have at least seven voicemails from me alone.
11/23/2006 23:44
Mommy Faye: Just let us know that you're not passed out on some stranger's bed. We have too many of the same coping mechanisms. The chocolate and cheesecake is the least detrimental.
11/23/2006 23:49
Marc Senior: Faye just called panicking. What happened at Thanksgiving? What did Kenny do that resulted in you abandoning him in New Jersey? New Jersey! Do I need to hire someone to take care of him? Cliff knows people. Cliff knows everyone.
11/24/2006 00:07
Mommy Faye: According to Marc, you're not home, but he could be lying to me. I may be his boss, but you're his best friend. He would lie to me to protect you. That's what I like about him.
11/24/2006 00:07
Marc Senior: I now understand why you left Kenny in New Jersey. Understandable. I would be furious too. But he didn't mean to hurt you. He was just trying to protect you from the truth. I can't fault him on that.
11/24/2006 00:08
Boyfriend K: Marc and Cliff yelled at me for 20 minutes for the Thanksgiving fiasco. Again, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted them to like you. Sorry.
11/24/2006 00:09
Marc Senior: If you need a place to crash, you're always welcome here. If you need me to pick you up from some bar in New Jersey, let me know. You know you're the only one I would go all the way to New Jersey on black Friday to get.
11/24/2006 00:17
Daddy Suarez: Amanda. Your mother is worried about you. I am too. I told her to tell you but I think she was worried. Not about how you would take Spencer, but afraid Spencer wouldn't want to be part of your life. Her own father walked out on her when she was a little girl. Faye doesn't talk about it that much but I know she was hurt. I think she was trying to spare you the same pain.
11/24/2006 00:19
Daddy Suarez: Faye doesn't always do things the right way. But you know she loves you. She doesn't always know how to show it, but she does. The same goes for me. I see you as another daughter. My door is always open to you if you want to talk.
11/24/2006 00:21
Daddy Suarez: Your mother is waiting for you at your apartment, but you can come by our hotel room. We're staying at the Plaza under your mom's birth name. I will always be here if you need me, Mija.
11/24/2006 00:25
The pretty stepsister: Faye called. She wanted to know if you were over here. I told her no, but that I would try to contact you. Since you're not answering my calls, I thought I would text message.
11/24/2006 00:30
The pretty stepsister: I get why you're upset. I think I would be furious to if I found something like that out by accident. Although seriously why did you leave my nephew in New Jersey like that? Good thing, I trust Kenny. Otherwise, Betty and Daniel would hurt you when they find out.
11/24/2006 00:33
Princess Amanda: Daniel, sorry I left your kid in New Jersey. Kenny may be a prick, but he loves Alex. He should be okay. Did you know that soap opera Spencer is my father? Kenny knew but didn't tell me. Did Betty know too? Do you know that there are restaurants that give unlimited fries? And they have a bar. Bars and French fries are good.
11/24/2006 00:55
The boss's girlfriend one: Faye called. I completely understand why you ran away, but running away doesn't help anything. Especially if you're running away into a bottle. If you need someone to pick you up from a bar in New Jersey just call.
11/24/2006 00:55
Boss Man Jamie: It is never a good thing when my boss calls me after midnight on a holiday to ask where my assistant is. I understand what you're going through. I had my own un-fun-revelation at Thanksgiving, but hiding in a bar in New Jersey is good for no one.
11/24/2006 01:02
Princess Amanda: I'm not at a bar. I'm at a Red Robin that happens to be attached to a hotel, but they do serve alcohol. There are no rooms available, but the restaurant is open all night and the French fries are unlimited.
11/24/2006 01:06
Boss Man Jamie: drowning your emotions in French fries is even worse. You're going to hate yourself in the morning when you can't fit in your size 0 overpriced designer jeans.
11/24/2006 01:10
Princess Amanda: I am already a size 2. Also there's no way you can know how I feel, unless you accidentally found out who your biological father was at Thanksgiving.
11/24/2006 01:15
Boss Man Jamie: So it turns out my mom used to be the housekeeper for Matt's grandfather before I was born. My parents were having a rough patch due to the infertility problems and the Hartley family has a long history of being charming bastards. Anyway, to make a long story short, at Thanksgiving, I found out my dad is not my dad and my actual father has been dead since I was about six.
11/24/2006 01:23
Princess Amanda: I think finding out that your boyfriend and mother conspired to keep the identity of your birth father from you is worse. The entire reason why I exist is because mom got stoned at studio 54. How else could I have ended up with a guy who makes Marc look straight for a father?
11/24/2006 01:27
Boss Man Jamie: I still have you beat. This all came out because my parents are getting a divorce and for some reason they decided to tell all the kids at Thanksgiving. Dad cheated on mom with her best friend. Mom can't get over it, nor should she.
11/24/2006 01:30
Boss Man Jamie: Dad is mad and believes that she's being a hypocrite because he forgave her for the Hartley incident then proceeded to explain what the Hartley incident was. Also, apparently his forgiveness of mom was contingent on the fact that I was a boy. He would've left otherwise. I think I understand why mom refuses to forgive.
11/24/2006 01:36
Princess Amanda: it turns out that my father was the first celebrity I had a crush on until I found out he was a friend of Marc's.
11/24/2006 01:38
Boss Man Jamie: I am my girlfriend's half-brother's uncle.
11/24/2006 01:39
Princess Amanda: You win. Did you know about Spencer?
11/24/2006 01:41
Boss Man Jamie: I was suspicious, but I didn't know. Jordan and Alexis didn't know anything about it either.
11/24/2006 01:43
Princess Amanda: Okay. I guess it was just mom and Kenny keeping secrets.
11/24/2006 01:47
Boss Man Jamie: you don't have to do it tonight, but you know you're going to have to talk to both of them about this eventually.
11/24/2006 01:48
Princess Amanda: Have you talked to your mom about your new found paternity?
11/24/2006 01:50
Boss Man Jamie: A little, but only enough to know why my parents had the money to send me to Harvard. I thought I was there on a Hartley Foundation Scholarship when in reality it was part of a secret trust fund that I knew nothing about.
11/24/2006 01:52
Boss Man Jamie: I care more about what Alexis is thinking, but we haven't had time to talk because I'm too busy driving to New Jersey to retrieve my assistant to actually do that.
11/24/2006 01:54
Princess Amanda: you have no idea where I am
11/24/2006 1:55
Boss Man Jamie: turn around. There's only one red Robin in New Jersey. That's connected to a hotel.
11/24/2006 01:56
Princess Amanda: I hate you.
11/24/2006 06:23
Betty's baby's daddy: No, I didn't know about Spencer. Neither did Betty. Actually, the only people who knew were your mom, Mr. Suarez, Spencer and maybe Marisol because she knows everything. Kenny only knew because of a credit card screw-up. He's really sorry.
11/24/2006 06:27
Betty's baby's daddy: No I didn't tell Faye that you sent me a text message. Although I didn't actually read your message until this morning and Faye is finally sleeping. She fell asleep on the couch, waiting for you. You don't have to come see her. You don't even have to talk to her. Kenny, either. Just let us know where you are and that you're okay.
11/24/2006 9:23
Princess Amanda: Daniel, I'm not speaking to you.
11/24/2006 09:25
Princess Amanda: if you're sleeping over at the apartment and Faye is on the couch, where are you sleeping? If it's my bed, you are getting me new sheets.
11/24/2006 09:27
Betty's baby's daddy: Kenny slept in your bed. I spent the night with Betty.
11/24/2006 09:28
Princess Amanda: Finally!
11/24/2006 09:29
Betty's baby's daddy: Not like that. We're just sleeping together in the same bed. Where are you?
11/24/2006 09:32
Princess Amanda: I'm not talking to you.
11/24/2006 09: 33
Princess Amanda: You're so not just sleeping. I don't care what you two do, as long as you're not getting cum my sheets.
11/24/2006 09:35
Betty's baby's daddy: Amanda, just tell me where you are?
11/23/2006 09:37
Betty's baby's daddy: I won't even tell Faye. Kenny and your mom are about to leave in five minutes to make it very long trek out to Long Island to see if you're there.
11/23/2006 09:39
Princess Amanda: I will tell you where I am as soon as you tell me what's going on between you and my stepsister.
11/24/2006 09:45
Betty's baby's daddy: If I knew I would tell you. I love her. You know I love her, but things are complicated. It's not just us, Alex and DJ are part of this relationship too. We can't just jump into bed together even though I really want to. I hate being an adult.
11/24/2006 09:55
Marc Junior: Faye is worried about you to the point where she actually asked me to send you a text message this morning. Actually she was on her way to Long Island, but Daniel talked her out of it. I'm not even sure she slept last night. She drank 2 cups of coffee and mom had to spend an extra 15 minutes doing her makeup. The circles under her eyes are obvious.
11/24/2006 10:01
Marc Junior: I know you're mad about finding out about who your father is but hey Spencer Canon is better than Santos. Okay, some serial killers may be better than Santos.
11/24/2006 10:06
Betty's baby's daddy: This is Faye on Daniel's phone. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Spencer. I wasn't planning to keep this from you forever, I just wanted to know if Spencer really cared about you before I introduced him into your life as your father. I didn't want him to hurt you and I'm sorry that I went about it the wrong way. Don't blame Kenny for what happened. This was my fault.
11/24/2006 010:20
Daniel's baby's Mama/the sweet stepsister: So Alex stole Daniel's phone because it is Alex and Faye now knows that you're at least talking to somebody.
11/24/2006 10:25
Daniel's baby's Mama/the sweet stepsister: I'm supposed to invite you to dinner tonight but I don't feel like it. I understand why you're mad at Faye. I'm not even happy that she didn't tell me about Spencer, so I can understand why you're not happy.
11/24/2006 10:27
Daniel's baby's Mama/the sweet stepsister: Also after the entire Daniel fiasco. I've learned how bad keeping secrets can be. Daniel wants to move past that, but I'm not sure how.
11/24/2006 10:30
Princess Amanda: Blowjob in the shower?
11/24/2006 10:33
Daniel's baby's Mama/the sweet stepsister: Sex doesn't solve anything. Actually, it just makes everything 1000 times more complicated.
11/24/2006 10:34
Princess Amanda: Did you give him a blow job in the shower this morning?
11/24/2006 10:35
Daniel's baby's Mama/the sweet stepsister: I'm not answering that question. Where are you?
11/24/2006 10:37
Princess Amanda: I'm not answering that question until you answer my question.
11/24/2006 10:40
Daniel's baby's Mama/the sweet stepsister: I don't have time for this. Chloe is here and were only halfway set up. Marc is driving me crazy. Help!
11/24/2006 10:42
Daniel's baby's Mama/the sweet stepsister: Faye just left because she got a phone call from the lawyers and she took Kenny with her. Ruth is dealing with fallout from the Wilhelmina situation and Carlo is out there making the Wilhelmina situation worse. I can't deal with this all on my own, especially because Alex keeps eating the tinsel.
11/24/2006 11:23
Mark Senior: I need you to save me from your stepsister. You should see some of the ornaments that she got for the decorations. She picked out Sesame Street ornaments. Sesame Street ornaments! And Chloe thinks that they are cute. So does my traitorous boyfriend. We can't use Sesame Street ornaments. It's just wrong. I need your good taste.
11/24/2006 11:48
Betty's baby's daddy: I did not tell Faye that you were text messaging me, but your nephew is evil. Adorable, but evil, and he just loves using my cell phone as a chew toy. I think there are teeth marks. I can't deal with Betty and Marc fighting over Christmas tree ornaments. I need you here to mediate or at least distract your nephew.
11/24/2006 12:01
Boyfriend K: it's nice to know you're okay even though you're not talking to me. I'm sorry you found out about Spencer the way that you did. I just hated that my grandmother said those nasty things about you. She doesn't know that you're this beautiful, great person. She sees the world in black and white and she doesn't know you. You're not perfect, but I love you anyway.
11/24/2006 12:04
Boyfriend K: shit! I didn't mean to actually send that text message. Well, I didn't mean to send the entire text message. Yes, I actually love you, but I didn't mean to say that in a text message for the first time. Monique just happened to be standing over my shoulder and she just loves meddling with other people's relationships.
11/24/2006 12:09
Princess Amanda: What did you just do?
11/24/2006 12:23
Former boss lady: Speeding things along. I'm already going to have to deal with one teenager for the foreseeable future.
11/24/2006 12:26
Former boss lady: Sorry I didn't call you back last night because I was in jail, thanks to Wilhelmina. Just don't ask. I was too tired and busy to actually check my messages. I didn't even check until I ran into Kenny at the summit of the lawyers to deal with the Wilhelmina situation.
11/24/2006 12:30
Former boss lady: No, I didn't know about Spencer, at least not officially. I knew that my mom was helping Faye put the pieces together and I knew that mom and Spencer were friends back then. They've known each other for forever, although in an upper Eastside acquaintance sort of way, at least in recent years.
11/24/2006 12:33
Former boss lady: I get why this is so hard and you are hiding at Jamie's house. Jamie tells me everything. Meeting my birth mom was hard.
11/24/2006 12: 34
Princess Amanda: What happened when you met your mom for the first time?
11/24/2006 12:40
Former boss lady: I'm pretty sure I ran away. I was young, but I was so angry at her. I didn't understand why she left me to be raised in this world where people saw me as the lesser because I happen to be adopted by the woman who got screwed over by her ex-husband.
11/24/2006 12:43
Former boss lady: They couldn't understand why she took in the love child of her former husband, especially when she threw him to the curb. These people also did not have enough tact to avoid speaking about this in front of me.
11/24/2006 12:46
Former boss lady: However, my situation was very different than yours. I always knew I was adopted. I don't look like Vivian even if I looked like Mercedes with slightly darker skin. I didn't get the half-sisters thing for a while.
11/24/2006 12:49
Former boss lady: All of this resulted in me hiding at the zoo. Vivian found me and told me to never let anyone make me feel worthless because of my skin tone or because she didn't give birth to me. The only thing that really mattered was that Vivian loves me unconditionally.
11/24/2006 12:53
Former boss lady: I think the same is true of Faye. She's kind of a wreck right now, it's pretty obvious. She knew she screwed up, but I think she was trying to soften the blow. I don't know. Maybe you should call her.
11/24/2006 12:55
Former boss lady: We can talk more later. I now have to drive Wilhelmina and Nico to pick up some things at their apartment. Nico's moving in with me in an effort to keep her father away during Wilhelmina's stay at Pinecrest. Don't ask. This is all some play to keep the evil ex-husband from getting a hold of Nico's trust fund.
11/24/2006 12:05
Former boss lady: You can come over tonight. I need help redecorating. I want Nico to fill welcome in my loft. Also I think I'm going to be busy replacing all the furniture for MYW. I could use your help since Candy is in Connecticut right now. I'm going to strangle Carlo.
11/24/2006 12:15
Former boss lady: The cops just arrived. I guess mommy's plan to keep Willie out of jail for yesterday's incident by shipping her off to rehab is not going to work.
11/24/2006 12:31
CNN breaking news: CEO of Meade publishing arrested in the murder of former lover and predecessor at Meade, Bradford Meade.
11/24/2006 13:23
Former boss lady: I will strangle Carlo with my bare hands, if I ever see him again. Now I'm positive he's working with Wilhelmina's ex-husband and this is his retaliation for getting fired yesterday. I'm surprised he did this much damage in 24 hours. Wilhelmina may be next.
11/24/2006 13:25
Former boss lady: I'm sure the cops will be by any moment to interview you. They already have most of the family, including Daniel and DJ. That's why Alex is with me. As slow as Wilhelmina is with her packing, I'm sure the cops will arrest her before we get out of this apartment. Seriously, how long does it take to pack for a stay in a psychiatric hospital?
11/24/2006 13:28
Former boss lady: SOS Carlo is here
11/24/2006 14:30
Daniel's baby's Mama: Is Niko at Jamie's house? I know you're there. Monique was supposed to bring her and Alex to the Plaza before taking Wilhelmina to Pinecrest but they're not here yet.
11/24/2006 14:31
Princess Amanda: Fuck! Call Me Now.
11/24/2006 14:40
CNN breaking news: Monique Osborne-Windom-West was found shot three times at the Upper East Side home of her soon-to-be stepsister Wilhelmina Slater. She is stable but in critical condition. Slater herself and her daughter remain unaccounted for.
11/24/2006 14:51
New York, NY Amber Alert: LIC/MODEEIC (NY) 2005 Red Audi
To be continued.