So Sorry! I've been preoccupied with school shopping and figuring out everything, that my anxiety didn't allow me to get on the internet until I had everything settled. Anyway, please enjoy! I do not own OHSHC.

It's a prank. A set-up, I kept thinking. That had to be the reason that this just happened. Kyoya-senpai had cameras set up and recording to use this as embarrassing leverage against me if I were to ever fall out of line. As if he didn't have enough already! But logic gave way to my assumptions. There was no way that he would be able to convince A.J. to do that to me. He cared too much about me and would never to something that embarrassing and cruel just so it could be used as a weapon against me.

So this was real and actually happening. Hikaru has those kinds of feeling for me.

I felt like slapping myself for not ever noticing. I've seen Haruhi be completely oblivious to Tamaki-senpai's affection for her, but most of the time she would hardly even care to give him the time of day, let alone know that he really cares for her. I always feel frustrated whenever she just gives him a passing nod when he, in his overdramatic way, recites speeches of how much he loves her as a "daughter" over a course of the entire club time. Let it be known that I never said that I approved of how he stated this to the point of being borderline obsessed, but I still thought it to be cute and sweet some of the times.

Now here I was, discovering that Hikaru just might be, dare I say it, in love with me. I could possibly understand him being smitten with me on account that I was a shiny, new toy to him. But him having these sort of outward emotions for me to the point that A.J. was able to figure out and call out in a matter of a few seconds, was shocking, never mind that I had spent many weeks around Hikaru and never once suspected that he felt more than just a tiny bit of interest for me.

So back to me running off, I darted through the crowd in front of the shrine, the people waiting in line to get their fortunes and say a prayer as soon as it was midnight, which was in thirty minutes. I was aware that Hikaru was following after me, calling out to me, but I was in too much shock to face him at the moment. I ran away from the people and went deeper into the surrounding trees, almost slipping on a few ice patches on the concrete.

I looked over my shoulder to see that Hikaru had only just made it out of the crowd, racing to catch up to me. I made a few more turns and went down some stairs, but I somehow managed to land on the ice at the bottom step wrong. My right foot slipped out from under me and I fell down with a squeak. I landed on my back in a daze and just as I was sitting up, Hikaru came into view.

We had a stare down for a few seconds, then he snapped out of it as soon as he realize that I was climbing to my feet to escape. When I put some weight on my right foot, I felt tender pain and fell back down on my butt. After seeing that I was no longer able to leave, he went down the last of the steps slowly. I gave him a wry smile as he looked down on me, the concern in his eyes held something I never saw until now and it held something more intimate than I was used to that I had to look away in embarrassment.

"Uh, hi," I muttered. My face started to heat up and I raised my hand to lift the scarf up to my cheeks. I tried to laugh off the rest of the embarrassment as I looked back up at him. The scarf fell back into place around my neck as I said, "Can you believe it? I managed to sprain my ankle and fall." I gestured at it to emphasize my idiocy. I tried smiling to make a joke out of it but it felt stiff and I let it fall with a sigh. "Sorry for...," -For running out on him? For not saying anything to him?- ,"that. I was kind of caught off guard."

He didn't say anything, just bent over and picked up my right foot. He turned it to one side, he immediately stopped when I flinched a little. "I guess you won't be able to get up on your own now," he stated. I started to nod, but suddenly his arms reached out and picked me up. Startled, I automatically wrapped my arms around his neck to keep from falling, but his grip was sure and strong. A.J. and Haruhi had told me that he had done this before when I had fallen asleep in the Hitachiin limousine on the way home from the Christmas party. But this was entirely different, I was awake and aware that he felt something for me.

"I'm sorry if I'm too heavy," I mumbled. My face really started to get red as he looked down at me. He started carrying me up the stairs over to a bench.

"Oh, please," he scoffed. "You've been skipping out on meals for most of the month. You hardly eat anything during club hours, Haruhi notices that you've barely touched your lunches or any of your other meals for that matter. She, Ranka and the rest of us are really worried about you." I looked up at him in question and it was his turn to turn red and look away. "I'm a bit more attentive than you give me credit for," he answered. That took me by surprise, because it wasn't until a few weeks ago that we've really started talking since that whole word slip up my first day working as a club member. He's paid a lot more attention than I thought since I didn't start skimping out on food until around the end of November. But he was right about me not being too heavy, since coming to Japan my diet has become a lot more healthier and my fasting over the last month made me dramatically lose weight. Most of my clothes were started to sag on my already small frame.

"I'm just at a loss of appetite lately," I said as he set me down on the bench after he used a hand to dust some of the snow off.

"I can understand that," he said, sitting himself down. "You've lost your parents and it's the holidays. You're bound to start thinking about them this time of year." I looked down at my gloved hands, nervous that he can read me so well. "But taking it out on yourself isn't the solution, that kind of thing on your body will take it's toll on you."

I shook my head, giving him a sad smile. "You're probably right, but it's the only way that I'm able to punish myself without hurting anyone else." I wish I had kept my mouth shut when he sharply looked back at me, the little fog coming out of his mouth as he breathed out suddenly stopped.

"What?" His voice was like a whip. I was angry at myself for putting even more worry in his eyes and the fear on his face. I was disappointed in myself because all that was directed at me, but it was for me. I knew it must have sounded nothing how I intended it to come out, those weren't the right words. He probably heard it as if I wanted to do so much more damage on myself than just not eating all my food. It sounded as if I was forcing myself to live to not hurt anyone by dying.

But I was more than happy to live for those that I loved: Haruhi, Uncle, and A.J. All my friends in America and all those that I bonded with here in Japan, too. It was exactly how Hikaru had said it: the holidays were sad for me. My mother and father weren't here. But I was. It was the most heartbreaking thing that I've ever experienced. This would be the first Christmas and New Years that I will experience without them. And there would be more days like this to come. That's what tore at me the most. It wasn't like this was a temporary thing, oh no, it was permanent. And the situation had only just dawned on me, leading me to feel empty and making the delicious foods that Haruhi makes for me unappetizing.

Hikaru was still looking at me with that shocked expression and I didn't want him to think less of me for what I stupidly let out of my mouth. I quickly resorted to try to remedy this.

"That's not what I meant," I panicked. "I just feel ... so lost. I'm only just beginning to realize that I'm never going to see them ever again. They're not going to be there when I've figured out what I want to do with my life or ... or when I go off to college or when I get married. My father won't be there to walk me down the aisle and my mother won't be there to help if I'm pregnant. Nothing!" Tears had formed as I was ranting and they started to fall the more emotional I got. During it all I talked with my hands and the gestures got angrier as I went on. But I was still nowhere near finished and I couldn't stop the words. "All of my life they've been there and they're gone before I even turn sixteen. I was knocked out as soon as the car crashed and was in a coma for three weeks. Well happy birthday to me when I found out that my body was badly injured and I was an orphan! Why is it that I was the only one that survived? Why is it that I hurt everyone that I love?!"

My body was shaking but I couldn't tell if it was from cold, anger, hurt or something else entirely. For a moment I forgot that my foot was hurt and I started to try to get up but Hikaru pulled me back down towards him. He pulled me into his chest and encircled me with his arms. That's what broke me even worse: that simple act of kindness, maybe even love. I sobbed into his shirt even more and he rubbed my back soothingly. During my break down, at the back of my mind, I was glad that I had blindly run off to a deserted part of the shrine grounds and that I hadn't put on any of the makeup that Uncle had gotten me for Christmas because I was sure that any mascara would have stained Hikaru's shirt.

I calmed down a few minutes later, enough to feel self-conscious that he was still holding me, but when I tried to pull away he tightened his hold and tangled our legs together. So I set my ear on his chest, right over his heart. I counted 100 heartbeats by the time I had worked up enough courage to say something to him. "I'm sorry for that," I mumbled. That was my second time saying that. But I had the vaguest sense that I would be saying it a lot more as time passed.

"It's okay," he said, kissing me on the top of my head. I buried my face deeper into his chest so he wouldn't see me face turn more red. He chuckled at my reaction, but he turned serious quickly. "You needed to get that out of your system. Do you feel better?" I nodded against his chest. And it was true. I didn't realize how much this was weighing on me, so much was on the edge and this had pushed it right over. I also didn't realize that when my parents were alive I wasn't as worried about those said events because I had thought that they would always be there for me. And I part of me mourned that they would be less special without them.

He loosened his grip on me, letting me sit up now, he still had an arm around my shoulders though. He pulled a blue handkerchief out of his coat and handed it to me. I wiped my eyes and face first then blew my nose. "I'm pretty sure you don't want this back right away so I'll clean it when I get home," I said, folding it and putting it in my pocket. "I really do feel better after getting that out of my system. Thank you, Hikaru."

I wasn't expecting it, I was much too preoccupied to see it coming. He tilted his face as I looked up at him as I finished talking and quickly leaned in. His lips were so soft, funny how I never noticed when he was pushed into me at the party. One hand was at my waist, the other was behind my head, bringing my lips closer. My hands slowly went up his chest until they wrapped around his neck. I heard people coming this way, and my arms limply fell into my lap, completely giving up on kissing. Hikaru must have heard them too, because he gave me one last kiss before moving away.

We were in a respectable position, with our legs untangled and with only Hikaru's arm draped over my shoulders, as the people walked by us and out of sight. I sighed in relief into Hikaru, before snapping up straight. I was playing with my hands in my lap to avoid looking up at him, I've read plenty of books and every time a couple kissed, both their lips are swollen from the action, so I just pretended that my hands were more interesting.

"Sorry about that," he said, his voice had gone heavy. "I just needed to get that out of my system." I laughed at his bad joke.

"It's okay," I repeated him. "I cry all over you and you get some kisses in exchange, seems fair enough to me." My intention was to make the situation light but he actually took me seriously.

"I wouldn't call that fair," he said. "I would call that taking advantage of you. Here you are, telling me how scared you are and then I kiss you. I'm really sorry to take advantage of you like that, Sunny." I looked up at him, and sure enough his lips were swollen, and also, there was a look of apology on his face. I didn't want him to be sorry, that was a fear of mine, and here he was apologizing just like the last time.

I got bold and I stretched up to peck him on the lips and then sit down and cross my arms. "Well," I started, "I'm not sorry. So deal with it. And please stop apologizing every time you kiss me."

He chuckle at that. "Alright, no more apologizing," he promised. He leaned down, so his mouth was next to my ear and he spoke. "Because if I'm ever going to kiss you again, you need to give me your permission first," he whispered. I shivered as his words sunk in and how close he was to me at that very moment. He laughed again and leaned in to kiss the skin next to my ear. He leaned back and sat up on the bench. "You looked surprised when A.J. said how I felt about you. Why?"

I sighed, shaking my head at my short memory. I had completely forgotten how we got into this mess in the first place. "I-I," I stuttered, "didn't think that you could feel that way about me. It never entered my mind that it could be true at all. You and your brother are of the elite and rich. And I'm a "commoner" nobody orphan from America. I didn't think that with all those elite girls around, that I ever had a chance. Up until fifteen minutes ago I thought we were sorta-kinda friends."

"Is that really how you thought I saw you," he demanded. "You're so much more than that, Sunlight. You're caring, intelligent, and beautiful. That, dear Sunlight, is how I see you."

"You hardly know me," I countered.

"I know enough about you that I feel this way about you," he threw right back at me.

"You don't know that I could very easily be the cause of you getting hurt," I snapped. He looked confused. "I'm the cause of Jamie's broken arm, Alex's concussion, and taking out Ben's big toe with a bowling ball!" He laughed at the last one, which I stopped with a light punch at his arm, which made him laugh harder. "It's not funny!" I insisted. He stopped after a little while, growing sober as he saw the seriousness on my face. "Their parents were very angry at me and they were right to be so. They said that I was a danger to them and to stop being friends with me, but they were too damn stubborn for their own good to have left me alone. All the people I love were hurt because of me. My next victim could very well be you, if you don't keep your distance from me." I lifted my knees up on the bench and wrapped both arms around them, laying my head down with a sigh.

He squeezed my shoulder and pulled me closer to him, whispering in my ear again. "Too bad for you, I can be very stubborn, too." I turned my head to look at him. There was so little space between our lips that we were practically breathing the same air. I wet my lips and he lowered his eyes to them, he loudly and very slowly swallowed. "We better leave before I break my promise and," he looked down at his watch, "we've got about seven minutes until midnight. Think you can walk?" He hovered over me as I let my legs down and got up. I slowly let some weight onto my right leg. There was a bit of tenderness, but nothing to worry about.

"It's just a little stiff, but I can manage," I said. I tried to pull the hand he was holding lose but he wouldn't budge. "Wow, you really are stubborn." I tugged at his hand, pulling him along. "Come on, we better get going."

"I like that word: we. It sounds very promising."

"I wouldn't hold your breath. There's still time for you to hate me." I knew I was being negative, but I couldn't help it. This stubborn man, needed to know exactly what he was getting himself into.

He leaned down to kiss my temple then my cheek, lingering a bit. "Doubtful," he said.

I was so sad as I was typing this up and I actually kind of made myself cry.