Doctor Who - American Version - Serial

by RevolutionMan

Doctor Who - Presented as a re-imagining of the show Doctor Who for American audiences. It presumes NO connection to the continuity established by the long running British television series, but absolutely WILL borrow heavily from that awesome/amazing show. Some characters will be re-named. Some "laws" will be broken. A serial adaptation, in script form.

32. Chapter 32 - Rose Learns to Drive

INT. TARDIS

SUPER: 24 HOURS EARLIER

The Doctor and Rose stand at the command console. He directs her to a specific lever.

DOCTOR
That one controls speed, and that one time yaw. This one compensates with flare, and that one controls the time pitch.

ROSE
The pitch.

DOCTOR
Time pitch. The green one's pitch.

ROSE
Why can't I just put in the day, month, and year and then put in the coordinates?

DOCTOR
Do you know exactly where Earth is in its orbit on March 17th, 2436?

ROSE
No.

DOCTOR
Let's say you want to travel to Earth on March 17th, 2436. The Earth is my head. The core is the sun.

The Doctor takes a step back from the core and starts circling with his arms tight at his side, doing his best to keep his head level and at the same height the entire time. She watches him.

DOCTOR
My left eyeball is Paris. You want to get there before the Treeanx steal the Eiffel Tower in 2472.

ROSE
Someone steals the Eiffel Tower?

DOCTOR
It was a wedding present, very romantic, but a long story. Let's try and stay on point here. You want to land on my eyeball, but you think I'm here.

He circles all the way around and stops a few feet away from her.

DOCTOR
Ball up your fist and stick it out at the level of my head.

She balls up her fist and extends her arm so that it's at the level of his head.

DOCTOR
Now, you think I'm here. Only problem is, you're wrong. I'm actually...

He walks straight into her fist.

DOCTOR
Here.

He pretends he's been punched in the face and goes down. He fake convulses on the ground like a fish flopping on the deck of a fisherman's boat. He looks up.

DOCTOR
You see the problem?

She lends him a hand and helps him up.

ROSE
You don't have to be so dramatic.

DOCTOR
Of course I do. How boring would this all be if I wasn't? Now, ready to give it a go?

ROSE
I think so.

DOCTOR
Let's see it.

Rose licks her lips and works the controls with relative confidence for someone making her first attempt at steering the Tardis. The Doctor holds his hand to his mouth.

DOCTOR
Ack. Oh my. Oh no, it's awful. It's just awful.

She grins and slaps him for teasing her. She places one last lever into position.

ROSE
There.

He pulls lens-less glasses frames out of his pocket and pushes them onto his nose, like Clark Kent, to inspect her work.

ROSE
Give me those.

She rolls her eyes and grabs the frames from his face. He smiles and appraises her work.

DOCTOR
Not bad. Not bad. I don't think I've ever been here. Why do you want to go there?

ROSE
It's a surprise.

DOCTOR
All right, then. Care to do the honors?

He steps out of the way and let's her initiate the Tardis course change. The ethereal gears turn as the core hums into action on its way towards its Rose inspired destination.

EXT. RENOVATION SITE - ZIRA CLINIC - SOLUDEN CITY – DAY

The Tardis whooshes into existence in the form of a large equipment shed behind some scaffolding and plastic sheets. Once it completely materializes, the door opens and Rose and the Doctor step out. She walks forward and looks out over a railing on a sprawling city of majesty and wonder.

Skyscrapers stand together in pairs and double as suspension bridge towers connecting one side of the city to the next in a spoke and wheel pattern, all converging on a central ivory pyramid. All sides of the pyramid are lit with advertising for various commercial products and locations including one for the "Zira Clinic". In fact, the faces of most of the taller buildings, and the roofs of the shorter ones, are plastered with advertisements for one product or another, most of them sponsored by the clinic.

SUPER: SOLUDEN CITY

ROSE
Whoa.

The Doctor grabs her from behind, suddenly. She gasps.

DOCTOR
Don't fall.

He laughs. She wriggles free of his grasp and smacks him again.

ROSE
I swear. You're such a little kid, sometimes.

DOCTOR
I'm, like, twelve hundred years older than you are.

ROSE
Try that again and see how much older you get. Come on inside.

She motions to a temporary wooden door and he follows.

INT. FLOOR 42 – ZIRA CLINIC

Rose and the Doctor enter the clinic through a construction entrance. They step around areas of wet paint as FELINE WORKERS wearing gray uniforms saw, paint, put up walls, and lay down tile.

ROSE
They're cats. They're big cats.

DOCTOR
Haven't you ever seen a lion before?

ROSE
At the zoo, behind a fence. Hope they're not holding a grudge.

She walks faster.

They arrive at an elevator and step inside.

INT. ELEVATOR – ZIRA CLINIC

As the doors shut, Rose looks around the elevator for a button to press. There's none. The walls are flat and tangerine. The Doctor waits.

ROSE
Uhhmmm... Where's the button to go down?

DOCTOR
How should I know? I'm following you.

The lift doors open again and a worker steps inside. The doors shut behind him.

FELINE WORKER
Ground floor.

He waits, then looks at them.

FELINE WORKER
You folks headed to ground level, too?

The Doctor shrugs.

ROSE
Oh, um, reception, please.

The Doctor looks at her, confused. She smiles. The lift begins to move.

INT. RECEPTION – ZIRA CLINIC

The elevator doors slide open and Rose steps out. The Doctor follows.

DOCTOR
Why are we headed to reception?

ROSE
Reception's usually where the entrance is.

DOCTOR
Wouldn't that be on the ground level?

ROSE
That would make sense, yes.

He steps in front of her.

DOCTOR
Is something wrong?

ROSE
What do you mean?

DOCTOR
You picked this place. Of all the times and places in the universe, you picked a clinic. Are you okay?

ROSE
I'm fine.

He thinks some more, then something occurs to him. His shoulders sink.

DOCTOR
Please don't tell me this is about your father and his cancer.

ROSE
What? No, it's not.

He looks at her.

ROSE
It's not. No universe ending-paradoxes. I get it. I promise.

DOCTOR
Then, why are we here?

ROSE
I saw it advertised on the tv and I thought it'd be interesting.

DOCTOR
You mean the holo-screen in your room?

ROSE
Right, or you could let me call it what I want to call it, whatever. I was flipping through stations last night and I saw an ad.

DOCTOR
And this is something you do normally? See an advertisement for a hospital and just decide to drop by?

ROSE
Sure, let's go with that.

She walks around him and heads for the reception desk. It's a long and round desk, slightly elevated, with a single step up in front of each station. One of the receptionists, AGATHA, a woman with the head of a beagle dog, sees Rose and waves her over.

Rose walks over to the desk, but the Doctor stops her.

DOCTOR
I don't believe you. Something's wrong. Are you feeling okay?

He pulls the sonic screwdriver out of his pocket and uses it to shine a light in her eye. He observes her pupil's reaction. She shakes free of him, but he grabs her forehead next.

DOCTOR
No fever. You do know I'm a doctor, right?

ROSE
Believe me, if I didn't, it's enough to hear you introduce yourself everywhere you go as "the Doctor". Look at me, I'm "the Doctor". I'm too good for a conventional name, like Bill or Jack or John. What's even on your birth certificate?

She walks around him and then up onto the step. She smiles at the receptionist.

ROSE
Hi. We need to see a doctor.

DOCTOR
I am a doctor.

AGATHA
Sure thing, sweetie. And welcome to the Zira Clinic. If I could just have your name and species.

ROSE
My name is Rose Taylor.

AGATHA
Rose Taylor. Oh, that's such a pretty name.

ROSE
Thank you.

DOCTOR
I'm confused.

ROSE
But the appointment isn't actually for me.

AGATHA
It isn't?

DOCTOR
It isn't?

ROSE
No.

AGATHA
Who is it for?

Rose points to the Doctor.

ROSE
The Doctor.

DOCTOR
Who?

AGATHA
I'm sorry, Doctor who?

ROSE
(nods)
Yes.

AGATHA
Yes, what?

DOCTOR
(to Rose)
Can I talk to you?

ROSE
(to Doctor)
In a minute.

Rose turns back to the receptionist.

ROSE
Who's available?

AGATHA
Who's available to see who?

ROSE
Yes.

AGATHA
No, who are they seeing?

ROSE
The Doctor.

AGATHA
I can't tell you which doctor until I know who.

ROSE
He's right here.

Agatha looks at the Doctor.

AGATHA
You're the Doctor?

DOCTOR
Yes.

AGATHA
Then, who's the patient?

ROSE
Right. Who's available?

AGATHA
Child, don't make me jump over this counter.

DOCTOR
We're sorry. Just give us one moment to talk it over.

AGATHA
Yeah, you do that.

The Doctor pulls Rose a few steps away from the counter.

DOCTOR
What are you doing?

ROSE
I'm making you an appointment to see a doctor. This is supposed to be one of the best clinics in the universe. They can cure anything.

DOCTOR
But I don't need a doctor. I am a doctor. I'm also fit as a fiddle.

ROSE
Don't give me that. You think I forgot about all that falling down nonsense and the throwing up purple stuff in the collection plate at church? I don't think I could forget that if I lived as long as you.

DOCTOR
That was just a stomach bug.

ROSE
Do you even have a stomach?

DOCTOR
Of course I have a stomach, why would you even ask that?

ROSE
Well, I don't know. You've got two hearts. I don't know what kind of stew you've got brewing in there.

DOCTOR
Two hearts, two lungs, two livers, four kidneys, one ockin, one stomach, large intestine, small intestine, bladder, and a gillyflozzle. Not hard.

ROSE
I want you to see a doctor.

DOCTOR
I am a doctor.

ROSE
And a terrible patient.

DOCTOR
I don't need to be a patient. It was nothing.

ROSE
You couldn't even stand up. Please, it'll make me feel better.

He hesitates. She pouts.

DOCTOR
Now, that's not fair.

She smiles.

ROSE
You'll do it?

DOCTOR
Fine.

ROSE
Yay.

DOCTOR
But I get ice cream if I'm good.

Rose heads back to the receptionist's desk.

INT. EXAM ROOM – ZIRA CLINIC

Rose waits in a chair in the corner while the Doctor sits on the edge of the exam room bed. His feet dangle and he kicks the base of the bed with his heels. After eight or nine kicks...

ROSE
Doctor!

He stops kicking.

DOCTOR
Sorry.

The door to the exam room opens and Dr. HEEYA walks in. She's five foot six with the face and elongated snout of a golden retriever, but her fingers are long and multifaceted, like a lizard's. She carries in her hand a tablet.

HEEYA
Salutations, my friends. A warm welcome to you both. May I first tell you what a privilege it is to have the pleasure of treating you today. I'm very much looking forward to doing whatever I can to improve your quality of life and extend your stay with us in the world of the living. I am Dr. Heeya.

ROSE
It's nice to meet you, Dr. Heeya. I'm Rose and this is the Doctor.

HEEYA
I see here it says you're a Time Lord. Is that correct?

DOCTOR
Yes, but I'm really fine.

HEEYA
So, this is just a check-up, then?

ROSE
A few days ago, he got really dizzy and had trouble standing up. He also threw up a lot.

HEEYA
Oh my goodness, how awful.

DOCTOR
Yes, but that was a few days ago. I'm telling you I feel fine, now.

HEEYA
How about you just let me be the judge of that, okay? Great. Now, we'll start by checking your vitals.

Heeya grabs a stethoscope-looking device from one of the drawers and wraps one end around her ears. She takes the other end, reaches it under his shirt, and presses it to his chest.

DOCTOR
This is ridiculous. My vitals are fine.

HEEYA
Just breathe in. Deep breath.

He rolls his eyes and breathes in, holds it. Rose watches.

HEEYA
And out.

He exhales... and projectile vomits purple everywhere before falling off the bed and onto the floor.

In shock, having narrowly avoided being thrown up on, Rose looks down at him.

ROSE
Oh yeah. You're getting ice cream later.

She shakes her head.

-To be Continued...-