Supernova

By Willow Athena

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of its characters, but Rien and this story are definitely mine

Author'snote: Please allow me to extend my apologies to all my faithful readers and reviewers. I really can't apologise enough for the year break I have taken from this story. I have laboured over these new chapters for more than a month contemplating whether or not to publish them.

CHAPTER 22 – Going Nowhere…Slowly

(Rien's POV)

Since Rukia had come home, Byakuya was different, more stiff and unyielding. Some days were better than others, and his moods would swing to polar opposites of torturing me with his perfection and hating the very sight of me. It was like Rukia's very presence reminded him of his duty and the role he played for Soul Society. At times it seemed that he was more callous to me than usual to show her that he had no affection for me at all. Perhaps he was trying to prove to Hisana's sister that he still loved Hisana and that the affections of a child were inconsequential to him. I knew that's what he thought of me – a child, like I was someone young and impressionable that he could toy with and mould into his idea of duty and nobility. Whenever he caught himself caring, he would excuse himself and return to stone. I didn't know which was worse, when I felt him care and recoil, or when I encountered his façade.

He didn't bother to really train me, as with a child, he felt he had all the time in the world. All my pleadings that I could handle real training fell on deaf ears. He would not yield.

"What if I refuse," I countered.

"Then refuse," Byakuya dryly replied. Only Renji was allowed to spectate when we trained, and I saw his knowing smirk out of the corner of my eye. I vowed he would pay for it later.

"This is such a waste of my time!" Perhaps I should not have stamped my feet like a petulant child while I said it, but I was frustrated. Even when I tried to attack Byakuya he could easily defend because he wasn't bothering to attack me at all. These last six months had been torture, and I was at my wits end – I was not the most patient of people, but I had tried not to inconvenience him. "My powers will never develop if you continue to toy with me like this!"

He was unmoved.

"Then I refuse to train with you. I want Renji," I demanded. He considered it for a moment.

"Renji, begin basic training," he instructed in his most disinterested tone, as he turned to watch from the porch.

Renji sauntered up to the middle of one of the sixth division's training areas – it was a nice, wide, open space. "Taichou, I don't think she's ready to fight a fukutaichou. Not that I'm refusing or anything, but maybe I should get Kira…"

He was cut off by me using the element of surprise to my advantage. He immediately unsheathed his zanpakuto, and released his shikai. This was further than I had gotten with Byakuya in months. His shikai was strong, but slower than I expected, and I was always able to dodge his attacks. I felt him holding back, as Byakuya had. My shunpo was much faster than Renji's, thanks to Yoruichi, and I eventually got behind him and gave him a little slice across his right shoulder. It was an insignificant scratch that mostly tore his sleeve off.

"Your bankai hasn't been out in a while, have you lost it?" I teased, trying to goad him into releasing his bankai.

"You wouldn't be able to handle my bankai," he smirked.

"Really," I said as I sliced his other shoulder. "Are you scared that I'll beat you?" I taunted as his other sleeve fell off.

"Hey, this was my favourite uniform!" he laughed me off.

The wind blew the open folds of my training outfit around me. "Renji, come on, you owe me!" I said as I used shunko to kick him far across the training field.

He emerged from a cloud of dirt, his bankai released. "Hihiou, Zabimaru," he exhaled. I saw Byakuya stand from his seated position, but he made no move to intervene. Perhaps he had finally decided to let me get some value out of training. Renji's reiatsu felt so different from Byakuya's, it was hot, impulsive and ragged at the edges, not the cool, controlled, and pristine waves Byakuya gave off.

"This is not going to be pretty," Renji warned. "Are you ready?"

I was already behind him, and he narrowly dodged my attempt to cut his tendon. He looked a little worried now. "Bad move," he replied as he constricted Zabimaru around us. His hesitation about using the usually required forced meant that I had an opportunity to shunpo out and cut him across the arm as I left. It was also a superficial cut. My attacks were probably not enough to cut through his reiatsu. I heard Renji laugh before I felt Zabimaru hit me into the ground.

The next thing I knew, Byakuya was carrying me to the porch and Renji was lying in a heap on the ground. "Rien," he breathed so close to me. He sounded concerned. As he caringly moved my hair away from my face and brushed blood stained lips with his hands, I momentarily considered not responding, just so I could stay in his arms like this, but then I heard Renji coughing nearby and thought about how much more trouble I would get him in.

"I'm fine," I said while standing up. "Renji, didn't really hurt me that badly," I confessed. "You don't need to worry about me, I'm not made of glass, and I'm far from being fragile, see…" I wiped my cut lip and bloodied chest to show no wounds beneath them. "I heal pretty quickly. Our secret, okay?" He made no response.

I shunpo'ed over to Renji, who looked far more broken than I was. "Hey, you okay?" I inquired as I helped him up from the ground where he lay.

"I'll live. What the fuck was that?" he asked through a pained cough.

"Renji, when I said basic training…I. Meant. It." He turned away. "Training is over for today, Rien. Renji, I will see you this afternoon for bankai training. You obviously need it, more than I thought." Maybe I was imagining it, but I could have sworn that under his steely coldness, he sounded a little hurt.

He shunpo'ed away to his office, and I followed. "Byakuya," I tentatively began, "I didn't deliberately keep it a secret from you. It just never came up before," I attempted to explain to his back. He released a third of his reiatsu and had it bore down on me – cool, controlled, and tasting of him.

He slowly turned his head and spoke over his right shoulder, "I can understand why you did not trust me. I applaud you for having that much sense, especially considering the feelings you had professed to have for me in the past." He said it as though he never believed I had any feelings for him. Which I knew was untrue. "Don't fool yourself into thinking you would ever be able to understand how I feel, and don't insult me by suggesting that I would care that you would keep anything from me." He released half his reiatsu now, probably in the hopes of seeing me fall to the ground under his will.

But I stood strong. Not that it was easy, but Jyuushiro's training was at least worthwhile. I attempted to look nonchalant, and was rewarded by his eyes widening in surprise. He released ¾ of his reiatsu and I felt one of my knees immediately hit the ground. I rebelled against him, pushed harder and stood up as he turned around to fully appreciate my kneeling form. I would not give him the satisfaction.

"You know, for someone who doesn't care, you sure seem pissed off," I said as I shunpo'ed away. If I had stayed any longer, I was sure he would have forced all his reiatsu on me and I would have woken up on the floor – how undignified! I had also heard the familiar rustle of Byakuya's squad running to their taichou's aid when his reiatsu spiked. How did he expect me to believe he wasn't angry when he was acting so unlike himself, well at least not like the Byakuya I thought I knew.

When I eventually arrived at afternoon training with Jyuushiro, I noticed him speaking to Byakuya in the garden. I stealthily tried to get close enough to hear.

"If you knew of this development you should have informed me, Ukitake Taichou. I cannot be expected to effectively train her without all the facts," Byakuya coldly accused.

"Byakuya, I think you're blowing this out of proportion. Yes, I knew of her ability to regenerate quickly, but that's not because she told me, I knew it from the first time I had kicked her into a tree and she had cut her hand. If you had trained her as I had you, you would have found out a long time ago," Ukitake countered. "The secret, if in fact it was ever that, was not mine to tell," Ukitake's tone of finality was evident to Byakuya.

"You are all mistaken...I would not have revealed her secret to anyone, even if she hadn't asked me not to. I would not see her back with Kurotsuchi Taichou," he admitted.

"I know, neither would I," Ukitake agreed.

"Why are you hiding by this tree? I told you where Ukitake Taichou was," Kiyone spoke loudly enough to make sure I was found out.

"What you didn't tell me was that he was busy…with Kuchiki Taichou. I was just waiting for them to finish speaking," I unsuccessfully tried to explain it away.

"More like eavesdropping," she mumbled under her breath.

"What was that, Kiyone?" I inquired, as I turned to walk inside, purposefully not looking back at the taichous watching us. My black halter neck top felt suffocating due to my embarrassment.

"Oh, nothing. I guess I forgot Kuchiki Taichou was here," Kiyone lied.

I 'hmphed' in disbelief. Kiyone never liked me. The wind blew around my pleated lilac skirt, and somewhat cooled my blush as I entered the sparing room.

"You train her in…that?" I heard Byakuya inquire.

"She gets hot. Training is very physically demanding," Ukitake explained.

When Byakuya left, I was reprimanded for eavesdropping – to Kiyone's delight. Ukitake's guilt trips were always more effective than anyone else's, but in my defense they were talking about me.

Ukitake had changed into his training outfit, loose white pants and a simply tied top, like a real martial artist, and with Jyuu, training really was art, with so many nuances to learn I felt ill equipped to be training with him, and I would often end up on my ass yielding to his triumphant figure above me.

I loved training with Jyuushiro. It felt like he enjoyed my company, but he also did not hold back for fear of hurting me. I liked that he knew how to have fun, like when we played hide and seek in the garden instead of training. He later stated that it was to test my stealth, and shunpo abilities, but I knew it was mostly because it was fun. I really enjoyed every moment with him, I would often idle about after training, just to talk to him while he finished the squad's paperwork – Kiyone hated that.

The one thing I did hate was the way he would put his hand on my head at times, like I was a child who needed comforting. Once he had come back from his month long mission, he never held my hand like he used to – like he had detoxed himself of me. He rarely touched me when we weren't training, and I could understand why – of course we wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea. But he would affectionately put his arm around Rukia and Kiyone all the time, to show his affection for them. I suppose he has known them for a lot longer, and I'm a crazy person who only brings trouble to all those they meet.

Koyraku Taichou had interrupted our training session this afternoon with a, "Could I steal, Ukitake for just a few minutes, Rien-chan?" and then promptly dragged Jyuushiro to a corner. I tried my best not to eavesdrop after my earlier chiding, but I could hear Ukitake laugh deeply and then a hushed 'No, I won't do it!' before Koyraku Taichou pulled his top off of him and shunpo'ed around the room. Ukitake laid chase only to have Shunsui throw his top in the pond outside.

Koyraku Taichou shunpo'ed back into the room, Ukitake following him. "That's what you get for being a liar," was all Koyraku Taichou said. Ukitake gave his oldest friend the dirtiest look I had ever seen him give anyone. "Rien-chan, don't trust a word Jyuu says to you," Shunsui laughed and hid behind me. Koyraku Taichou was always so playful.

Jyuushiro appeared in front of me, a thin sheen of sweat on his defined and muscular torso. I heard an audible gulp and hoped it wasn't me. "Rein-chan, I hope I was right when I told Ukitake that you'd be mad if you found out he was giving you any special treatment," Koyraku Taichou inquired, with an air of mischief in his tone.

"Su…sure," was all I could manage.

"Rien, don't listen to him, he's full of…"

"Hey, Ukitake! Don't be so mean!" Koyraku interrupted. "Ukitake runs a little hot, always has," Koyraku Taichou explained while still hiding behind me and holding onto my shoulders, "and in all the years I've known him, I have never seen him train with anyone while wearing a shirt – so you can imagine my surprise when I saw him training with you…in a shirt."

"Oh…" my mind was a blank. He was gorgeous. If I looked like that, I would walk around naked. The thought made me blush slightly, turning my golden skin copper.

"Was I right to tell Ukitake that you wouldn't want any special treatment?" Koyraku Taichou inquired again.

"You're completely right, and I hope Ukitake Taichou was not making himself uncomfortable on my account." I tried to regain some of my senses after inadvertently being shaken like a doll by Koyraku Taichou. My blush cooled. "Jyuu, you asked me to wear what was comfortable, I can't believe you wouldn't do the same. I'm kinda mad at you," I said as I punched him in the arm, and immediately regretted it. Damn, he was certainly beautiful! His body begged to be touched, and I noticed my hands clenched into fists at my sides, trying to hold myself back, and then my devil's advocate suggesting that one touch wouldn't hurt anyone.

It was certainly going to be distracting from now on, but what was I going say! Jyuu, I can't concentrate because you look like that. Yeah, that would have gone down nicely.

"I'll be seeing you later, Jyuu," Koyraku Taichou said as he hastily exited.

I tried not to, not stare and make it too obvious that I was, well…staring. If I avoided looking at him, he would think I was uncomfortable, but I felt like my gaze was too eager for the sight of him. I knew he felt it too. I felt like covering my eyes with my hand, out of shame for their betrayal of me.

The tension in the room was thick and filled with things neither of us would admit to. A common occurrence when I was around anyone with a whisper of affection for me. They all wished they didn't feel it, and at times, so did I.

"Forgive him, Rien, Shunsui lost his mind a long time ago," Jyuushiro explained. The room felt suffocatingly silent. "Excuse me while I change," he offered.

"There is no need. It just caught me off guard," I assured him. What had really caught me off guard were these feelings for him. He had tried to make himself into an asexual teacher for me, so I could concentrate, so I wouldn't feel this, my true feelings for him, just as strong as they had been when I had awoken. He had almost succeeded in his task, I had felt nothing but friendship from him for such a long time that I thought that he was over whatever small affection he had had for me. And maybe he was, but I obviously wasn't. How could I have feelings for him? I'm sure it's just normal to find someone as attractive as him…alluring. Renji and Ichigo were considered attractive, but they did not evoke anything like this in me. How was I to make sense of any of this with Jyuushiro's shirtless form in front of me!

"Hey, there's no need to hide behind your fringe," he suggested as he brushed it away and held my face in his hand. My recent tendency to avoid things that made me uneasy was evident to him. Perhaps Byakuya's ill-advised traits were rubbing off on me. The Rien I used to be would have never acted in this way, never concealed her emotions, never tried to pretend that she didn't have feelings for someone. Was I a traitor to authenticity, or just growing up?

I hugged him, because that's what I wanted to do from the start, and it was only my learned nobility that was stopping me – and what was that worth? Nothing. I placed my ear flat against his chest, and listened to his strong heart beating, my arms held him tightly, like he would pull away.

"Why have you been so distant, Jyuu?" I finally asked what I had been wondering for the past three months.

"Because this is complicated, and will definitely end in tears," he finally said as his arms encircled me.

"You're probably right," I agreed as stood on my tip toes to kiss him lightly on his soft delicate lips. "See you tomorrow, Jyuu," I tried to smile as I peeled myself off of him. He was drenched in a look of shock; he let me slip out of his arms, and I slowly walked to the door. "And no shirt tomorrow, perhaps repeated exposure will immunise me to the effect," I more confidently smiled this time, and left to see Renji, my only confidant.

I wasn't a traitor to authenticity, I realised, I had just grown up. This wasn't a game grown-ups played to heighten anticipation; it was the steps any honourable human being would take to prevent needlessly harming someone they cared about. He was right, this would end badly as long as I couldn't give myself to anyone but Byakuya.

I had decided that if I could not find love and happiness in this world, then at least Rukia should, she and I had become much closer over the last six months while I had been held hostage at the Kuchiki manor. She constantly had either Renji or Ichigo looking longingly at her, and she remained almost completely oblivious to it all. She was like her brother in this respect, she just wanted time to stand still, to maintain the current status quo, but a life without change is impossible, and even if it were possible, it would be pointless. She would not head my urgings to explore her options, perhaps I had too much of Yoruichi in me, or perhaps I just wanted to live vicariously through her.

Ichigo needed no help in the romance department; he was affectionate towards Rukia, who always dismissed his advances. This led me to conclude that she may have been waiting for my red-headed brother to make his move. When she spoke of her childhood friendship with Renji, it always seemed like she was talking about so much more, and all her childhood tales were excessively Renji-infused. Rukia was as stubborn as her brother, and would not be moved on the matter – was it that unthinkable to ask a boy out on a date, or perhaps it was just not noble. Renji was a much more malleable subject, his tendency towards impulsivity leading him straight into my hands.

"Not yet," Renji insisted. "I have to first be worthy. Byakuya would never agree to it."

"You're not asking Byakuya out on a date, though that would be amusing, and if you ever decided to, I'd pay to be there – you're asking Rukia out, or you will lose her soon. Trust me when I say that she is almost at the point where she has convinced herself that you are not interested in her and just want to be friends," I pleaded with the suddenly too-cautious Renji.

"Where will we go? What if Byakuya finds out? She'll never agree to it," Renji argued.

"You will never know until you ask," I encouraged. "I'll help you in any way I can – set up, advice, whatever."

"Thanks, but...You Know, maybe yer right, friends should support eachother, and I know you're suggesting this 'cause ya can see that I'm kinda down, and come to think of it, I've also noticed the same about you. I often see you moaping about feeling sorry for yourself, and sometimes I feel like I also wanna help." Renji's vampiric grin was out in full force by now, and it made me very apprehensive about where he was going with this. "How about we make a deal, if I ask Rukia out on a date, then you have to go on a date as well. Deal?" he challenged.

"Um...I don't think that's such a great idea. Maybe we should deal with one date at a time. I'm not that unhappy anyway, and I'm not the one who may lose the love of their life. I don't have a love life, and anyway I wouldn't know what to do with one of my own. I have been honest about my feelings. Rukia should know how you really feel about her." I didn't want to date anyone, except...well, no one available that is. I wanted to live vicariously, and that's difficult to do when you actually have a life of your own.

"Well, both our happiness' are in your hands. I could be asking Rukia right now..." he dramatically paused, "but I guess not," he triumphantly looked in my direction.

"Fine! It's stupid, but fine, if that's what you want," I conceded. I wasn't gonna let him hide behind that excuse. Me venturing out on a date would be worth it if it finally got them together. "I better be named god-mother of your children for this!" I added.

Come to think of it, I had never been out on a real date, with someone I don't know. Dates with Ishida were, well with a friend who knew my every like and dislike, and were never called dates. If I had the choice of who to love, it would have been him. We were perfect for eachother, so alike in every way – but then again, maybe that was the problem. Inoue and Ishida were in fact very right for eachother and I was happy for them, except when my envy had to be witness to their happiness. I wished Renji a similar type of happiness, a happiness he denied himself due to honour – her honour. She would not refuse him, if he ever ventured to actually ask.

We brainstormed for a while about where he should take her and what he should say, and I felt it slowly dawn on him that he was finally going be rid of a secret he had been keeping for over a hundred years. He slowly became increasingly more nervous and started trying to back out of the deal. "A deal is a deal, it would be cowardly of you to back out, don't you think?" I taunted.

"Okay, but then I have to avoid Byakuya. Taichou has a way of just seeing right through me. You know the look. He'll know as soon as I walk in the room, and then I'll chicken out. I can't tell you how many times I've been about to tell Rukia how I feel, and there he'll come out of nowhere, and that will be the end." He looked pale and terrified at the thought.

"Well, its afternoon now and you're unlikely to see him again. Didn't you guys just finish bankai training, and tomorrow is the blossom festival, and all of Seireitei is off from work. It's the perfect time for a date. If there's anything I can do to help, just ask," I offered.

"Well, he just left for home, and this training report arrived late. He's expecting me to deliver it to him now. He doesn't like people he's not familiar with in his home, so I can't really get anyone else to deliver it," Renji explained, more than subtly hinting.

"Can't I deliver it? It's just for him to read, right? I think I'm familiar enough with him, so he won't be freaked out if I say I ran into you and since I was going home anyway, I decided to save you a trip." Renji threw his arms around me.

"You can pay me in hugs and kisses later," I teased.

"What's he paying you for?" Rukia inquired, with an indulgent smile.

"For being a man," I cryptically offered. "Anyway, gotta go make deliveries," I snatched the training report and took this as an opportunity to leave them alone. Renji's look pleaded for me to stay, but change is always scary, and I was almost certain his fear would be rewarded on this occasion.

I hadn't been home all day, but when I arrived the Kuchiki manor had been transformed, like a festival was about to occur. All the servants were concentrated at the front of the manner, and most appeared too busy to talk. I finally snatched an unfamiliar old lady holding baskets of painted lanterns. "I'm looking for Kuchiki Taichou?" She said something about the 'Imperial Wing' and vaguely gestured in a direction, she didn't really seem interested in helping. I decided to walk in the pointed direction and try to find him on my own. I passed countless never seen before servants who all looked extremely busy and stressed. I remembered Rukia saying something about it being Byakuya's favourite holiday, and that he usually went all out, but this was madness.

I had been walking for two minutes without seeing anyone else, and was beginning to think I had made a wrong turn somewhere. I would have turned back if I had known where to turn and if this never-before-seen wing of the house were not the most breathtaking. I just walked around for another two minutes, mouth agape, and started checking all the rooms. I thought about calling out for him, but it would be useless because he would never demean himself to answer. Although I had never been to this part of the house, it started to feel familiar. I eventually saw a room with an open door. Finally! I thought.

I peered around the door when no one invited me in, only to find that the room was empty. It was a beautiful room, and so familiar. I stepped inside. Maybe I could just leave the report on his low desk. I would prefer to avoid him after this morning and the eavesdropping incident. I thought about leaving a note to say 'From Renji' or something, but as I bent down, all the writing instruments on his desk looked like expensive calligraphy pens and paper, which would be a shame to waste on such a short note. Maybe I should write a longer note...

While I pondered what to write, I started to look around the room. It began to occur to me that it didn't look like it was an office, given away by the bed on the one end of the vast room, and the hung up haori. Maybe I shouldn't be here. I should probably leave. As I placed the report on the desk, I heard some movement behind me. I turned and scrambled back up only to knock someone over. We couldn't save eachother, and we both went down.

I felt a hand cradle my head as we hit the ground, my lilac skirt fly, and all the air escape my lungs. The wet dripping body on top of me wore only a towel. I opened my eyes to his damp hair clinging to the sides of my face, and my hands clinging to his arms for safety. I immediately let go, like I had been caught stealing. I would have apologised if I had had any breath with which to do it. I should have made light of it like, 'fancy meeting you down here', or 'we gotta stop ending up like this', but I couldn't think of anything. I felt stupid in his presence, like my IQ had dropped by a hundred and fifty points.

Byakuya gracefully stood up. Now I remembered why this had looked familiar. He offered his hand to me, and had I any sense I would have used this opportunity to apologise and show him I was competent enough to put one foot in front of another and walk out with some dignity. But, as I well knew, I have no sense of propriety. He effortlessly picked me up, like I was made of air, and the speed with which I got up made me even dizzier. I stupidly held onto him for stability, closed my eyes and blinked a few times.

"You should probably sit down. You do not look well," he calmly suggested.

I should probably do a lot of things, I thought, but all I could get out before I started coughing was, "I'll stand..."

Byakuya silently slid the inter-leading silk screen doors open, to reveal a comfortable lounge and en-suite bathroom. I saw a wet trail from the bathroom door – he must have rushed out when he heard someone in his room. He knew it wouldn't be a servant. He must of known it was me, I'm the only one without any reiatsu for him to sense. I should have left as soon as I realised it was his bedroom, but I guess I let curiosity get the better of me. Of course he would take a shower after training with Renji, but who could have foreseen that he would have an en-suite bathroom, or rush out in nothing but a towel!

"Some water, perhaps." He turned around, bent down next to the desk and poured me a glass, and as I regained my senses, I tried my utmost not to stare at his wet, glistening, almost naked body. "Drink this," he instructed as he went into the neighbouring room. I did as I was told, and thirty seconds later he emerged in a loosely tied, simple, glaucous-blue robe, hair still damp but no longer dripping.

"Have you recovered, or should we call a healer?" he stoically asked, as though I had simply fallen on the grass and hurt my knee.

I looked calm on the outside, almost dazed. I still couldn't draw any air, I felt like I was hyperventilating, like I was going to explode staring at his beauty. He was truly breathtaking. Just like this, no adornments, no title, no kenseikan, just beautiful. He looked his true age now, not the wise 60 year old he projected for others, but the youthful 27 year old he really was – in the prime of his life, but choosing to waste it away. People in Seireitei found it easy to forget his true age, unfairly treating him like an adult almost since birth.

I saw his lips moving but I could discern no sound. I had to concentrate all my energy into not staring and not passing out. He did not seem angry with me, though I felt angry with myself for putting myself in this situation. After today's events, I wished the ground would open up and swallow me whole. Then again, that's how I felt about most days.

Jyuu, now Byakuya…if this wasn't Murphy's Law, then I don't know what was. Looking at him like this, without his usual façade to shield me was like looking into the face of the sun. I was transfixed. I had long ago decided to respect his decision, but he certainly wasn't making it easy. This was what my life was now reduced to: him torturing me like this, or forcing me away with his cruelty. I would not meet his eyes as he spoke, and I felt him relish the power he had over me. I would not…I would not yield! I would protect him from the stupidity of my feelings for him. It was only natural to be attracted to someone so beautiful – and physical beauty I could handle, easily replacing him with someone else, but it was the touch of his soul that haunted me, the familiarity within each kiss.

"Excuse me Kuchiki Taichou, I have to return to Renji. I…um…Sorry, again, for everything." I couldn't breathe. I had been so stupid; to allow myself to remain so close to him all these months was stupid. I felt like crying but couldn't, I felt like I would be forever encased in a state of shock. How could I ever wipe this memory and all the memories before it from my mind? I needed to speak to someone, and Renji was my only option.

Author's note

Thanks for reading and for waiting so long for an up update. This is dedicated to all my reviewers, especially those that hounded me with encouragement. This chapter and, especially the next, have been so depressing to write. Please read both chapters in one sitting, if you can - it will be more coherent that way.

~ Willow~