A/N:
Yup, I'm still alive - studying my ass off for SAT's next week but still alive! I haven't updated as fast I'd hoped to but I had time to finish Under My Skin's playlist and Steva's first playlist, so make sure to check the under my skin tag on my tumblr, and tell me what you guys think! My 8tracks account is leighale, that was they're easier to find. Also, I've just been introduced into making moodboards and it's so fun, so I'll be posting a couple of those on my tumblr as well.
So, back to business, you guys, I could really, really use the reviews. You can't imagine how happy they make me. I mean, thanks so much to bluepenquin1998 for her amazing reviews, they really made my day, and I really, really can't wait to see more of those!
Trigger Warning: Depression (Please do not feel offended if I didn't write or describe it correctly)
Alright - enjoy! And review!
Eva couldn't move.
Actually she could – but she had so little space. She was still disoriented, but she knew someone had wrapped her up tightly in blankets. Her head hurt a little, at some point she felt a slight burn behind her ear, her chest ached a little, but it wasn't something she wasn't too familiar with by now. However, she was very bothered by how little she could move in her blanket cocoon.
It took her a while to actually remember what happened. Her mind was blank until it wasn't, and everything before she blacked out played out in fast forward before it played out slowly in her head. That's when her head cleared out, and once she managed to get the confusion of wanting to know what had happened was cleared out, she could hear a muffled argument going on. The original reason why she'd stirred awake, possibly?
"She could've have gotten hurt, Kira!" Stiles' voice boomed as he paced around the exam room Scott's mom managed to have Eva placed in, "It's not good for her to fall!"
"I tried my best to break her fall." Kira protested, but the argument in her voice wasn't as strong as the reproach that pressed there.
"What if they'd done something to her, Kira? Don't you remember what happened when one those things got that close to Eva?" Stiles breathed out before he glanced back at Eva, who was still unconscious. Stiles was working on his homework, trying to get done with all of it quickly so he could get a chance to visit Eva and spend some time with her that day. Instead, he got a phone call from Kira, telling him exactly what had happened.
Of course Stiles had to refrain from yelling at Kira – even though he wanted to. Even though every cell in his body wanted to lament her for her poor judgment. Instead he urged Kira to take her to a hospital so he could meet them there. The doctor said she'd gotten a bit too cold, and worried that it was something with her heart, but Stiles & Kira knew why she was so cold. And they needed to wait for her to warm up first before the doctor could decide whether she would leave or not.
Eventually, Eva wriggled in her blankets and frowned as she fluttered her eyes open, turning her eyes away from the light.
"Hey there." Stiles' voice fell to a soft whisper as his hand brushed her hair back, his other hand run gently over her cheek. "You're warming up, thank god." Stiles sighed, relieved, before he watched her open her eyes slowly and look up at him. "Why'd you do that?" Stiles shook his head slowly as he stroke the top of her head gently, and Eva swallowed thickly as she attempted to shrug. "You broke the promise." Stiles pointed out, and Eva felt herself heave a soft sigh.
Eva spent the whole day getting ready for discharge. She woke up early and showered – of course, Kira & Allison helped her since every move made her whole body ache. But then again, the fact that she was up and awake, breathing, while her mother was very much a pile of ash right now just seemed to form a gaping hole in Eva's chest. The pain almost became overwhelming to the extent that it left her numb.
She heard a knock on the door and lazily lifted her gaze from the ground – a part of her feeling a sliver of comfort when she'd seen Stiles open the door and peek into the room, "Hey, girlfriend." Stiles greeted, his lips pressed into a small smile. Eva let out a small gush of air, a weak attempt of chuckle, before she winced, and Stiles sighed heavily. He walked towards the bed and sat at its edge beside her, "How are you feeling?"
Eva glanced sideways at Stiles and shook her head slowly, preferring to stay silence, having no energy to put up a façade or pretend that she'll be fine because she didn't actually know that.
Stiles chewed on the corner of his mouth – he was never one to be good at offering comfort. Or at least, that's what he thought. Heck, he even hated it when people smothered him because of the panic attacks he used to get, sometimes still does get. But he sat there, not really knowing what to say or do to make Eva feel better, or even feel anything. She's been refusing to talk to any psychiatrists the hospital's sent her way, and she seemed to be having a hard time talking at all. The doctor seemed to worry that she might get depressed, and the thought alone terrified Stiles, because if she sunk that far down, he didn't know if he could help her.
"We're going to live in the same building Allison & her dad live in." Eva whispered, and Stiles' eyes flickered to her face before he nodded quickly, "Yeah…it's a bit further away from my house but I'll still come over whenever I can." Stiles started with a small smile. Of course, the idea of going back to their house was impossibility to Eva's father, as well as Eva. Allison's father had mentioned something about an apartment for rent in their building to Allison, who told Eva's father. And it seemed to work out perfectly afterwards. The apartment complex seemed to pick up a theme of teenage girls with psychopath aunts and dead mothers.
"You don't have to do that." Eva started and shook her head as she turned to him. Stiles frowned and tilted his head some, "Don't have to do what?"
"Be…a supportive boyfriend." Eva shook her head slowly, "We haven't even had an official first date. You don't have to always be here."
Stiles blinked in surprise – is that why she thought he was around? Because he felt like he had to? "Eva…" Stiles started slowly as he turned to her and shook his head, "I care about you. I don't know why this comes as such a surprise to you but I care about you. No matter what happened. No matter what we've found out. You're still Eva Davis. You're still the girl I met that day in history class. You're still that artistic, sweet, and kind of weird person I've always known. Whatever you're going through, I'll go through it with you." Stiles babbled, quiet surprised when the words seemed to leave his lips in perfect harmony, nothing straying into his usual inappropriate remarks.
But when Eva didn't turn to look up at him, Stiles took a deep breath and reached down to take her hand gently in his, minding the spot where the IV used to be in, "But if you feel like…you can't do this relationship thing, that's okay. I just want to be here for you, no matter what way that is."
Eva pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes in thought, "You don't have to decide now." Stiles started quickly, but Eva shook her head. "I know…" She started hesitantly, "This makes me sound pathetic. And it makes me out like that girl that can't survive without having a guy in her life…but…" Eva shook her head slowly, "Everything is falling apart around. I need…I need something stable. I need…an anchor." Eva glanced sideways at Stiles, and Stiles felt his heart skip a beat.
"I'll be whatever you need." He told her as he reached out to brush his thumb against her supple cheek gently, wiping away that stray tear. Eva nodded slowly, and Stiles smiled at her briefly, the corners of his lips tugging upwards somewhat into a gentle smile. "Thank you." Eva whispered, and Stiles could have sworn he'd seen a hint of a smile on her face, before he pulled his brows together again, "But you have to promise me something." He started, and Eva blinked, drawn out for a minute of her morose cloud into one of confusion.
"Enough with the hospital trips, okay?" Stiles started and lifted both brows, "No more. Not even to visit Scott's mom. I don't even know why you would do that but still. Promise me, no more." Then Stiles realized what he'd just said, and his face drained of color when his eyes inspected Eva's face in concern, hoping mentioning Scott's mother didn't pour salt into her still very open wounds.
"I promise." Eva eventually nodded slowly, and Stiles sighed, relieved, before he held her hand gently in his and ran his thumb over the back of her hand.
"I had to make sure." Eva whispered, and Stiles had to chew on his lower lip and straighten up, his hands balled into fists, so he wouldn't have another outburst at her. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, "Okay. We'll talk about this later." Stiles breathed out again once he'd managed to calm himself down, before he turned to Kira, "Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you. But I think you should go before Eva's dad gets here, okay?"
Kira's eyes flickered between Stiles and Eva who was still struggling to wake up, before she took a deep breath and sighed heavily. "Kira," Eva whispered quickly before Kira left and she pushed herself up onto her elbows to face her friend, "Thank you."
Kira smiled briefly at Eva before she turned and left the exam room. Eva swallowed thickly before she glanced around the room and frowned, "I'm at the hospital?" She lifted a brow as she tilted her head towards Stiles, who blinked once at her scrutinizing look, and threw his arms in the air, "What if something had happened to you?!"
Eva worked on disentangling herself from the blankets, trying to wiggle out of them and sit up, "Nothing happened to me, as you can see." She breathed out, before wincing when her arm tugged too hard at a blanket. Stiles quickly hurried to help her unwrap the blankets from around her before eventually, Eva was free – with only one blanket resting over her body. Stiles heaved the others and set them on the seat in the corner of the room, before turned to Eva, "How do you feel?"
"Not as cold." She muttered as she wrapped her arms around herself, then looked up at Stiles and frowned momentarily, "I'm…sorry. But I had to do this. I had to make sure."
"Make sure of what?" Stiles inquired now, only his voice was softer, as he stepped towards the bed again. Eva peered up at him through her lashes and rolled her shoulders into a shrug. "That I didn't have her darkness in me." Eva whispered, and Stiles frowned when he recalled what Kira's mother had said back at the clinic that night. How the Oni were after whose heart became too engulfed with the darkness. Stiles realized that Kira's mother must have known that this whole ordeal was unnecessary, but when he looked down at Eva – he realized that she'd openly explained what had happened to him. He realized that….maybe this helped. Somehow.
"Does it…can…do you feel any better?" Stiles frowned a little, trying to find the right words before he settled for those. Eva shrugged a little, and Stiles reached out to brush her hair behind her ear. "Do you want to talk about it?" Stiles asked, and Eva looked up at him and shook her head slowly. However, she did say something, "Can I stay at your place tonight?"
"W-what?" Stiles stuttered a little, his eyes going a bit too wide as he blinked furiously.
"I just…I don't know…." Eva started, "I'm trying to...figure out something. I don't want to be alone."
Stiles frowned as he took a deep breath as he opened his mouth to try and find a way for them to figure this out, but a knock on the door interrupted him. He glanced back when he saw Eva's father walk into the room. Stiles got up and stepped back quickly to allow the man to embrace his daughter, before he rubbed the back of his head and almost turned to leave the room.
"Stiles." Eva called out quickly as she pulled away from her dad's embrace, but Stiles frowned as he lingered by the doorway. Eva glanced sideways at her father, and deciphered the look of relief on his face, before she pursed her lips in defeat and nodded once towards Stiles. "I'll talk to you later." She whispered and Stiles smiled as he reluctantly dragged himself away from the room.
Eva was lying in her bed. The doctor had come in and checked on her, and of course, she saw Melissa lurking in the background before quickly texting someone once the doctor confirmed that Eva was fine. In the parking lot, Eva could have sworn that she'd seen Stiles jeep. But she had to shake it off and pull herself together. She could do this. She knew she was stronger than this. She'd done this before – what made it so hard now?
The weight, Eva thought, and frowned as she tugged the blankets around her.
She feared that at first that weight that made it so hard to breathe or even – have a clear head – was just the darkness threatening to take over her. But there was no darkness. She was herself. Except she wasn't. Something was wrong.
It took Eva a whole minute of staring at the ceiling to realize what was wrong. Her mother was dead. Her aunt possessed her. She almost died. She was at the hospital. She had a surgery. And then there was a funeral.
Eva has been through all of that before, but it all seemed to hit her now, like a tidal wave. Her chest swelled as the sobs fell upon each. other. Eva pushed herself up in the bed, her chest rising and falling with every ragged breath she took. Everything that was wrong played over and over in her head. Eva's hands shaking moved over her face, covering her mouth as she shut her eyes tightly, and the sobs fell through. They wracked through her weakened frame, and Eva gasped audibly for breath before she reached for the pillow to prop it up against her knees and bury her face into it. Amongst all the grief and pain that seemed to suddenly take her by surprise after so subtly just building up inside her heart, Eva was scared. No, she was terrified. This feeling loomed about her that it wasn't the end yet.
She pushed the pillow away, and reached for her phone from the nightstand. Eva tried to stifle her whimpers as she dialed Stiles' number and held the phone up to her ear.
Stiles' was lying face down on the bed, his eyes facing the clear wall opposite from his bed. It had been a while since Stiles had any case files hanging up there – after what happened with Eva, he'd taken it all down. All of those people were victims of what her aunt did, and he knew she didn't need any reminders of that.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed against the nightstand, and Stiles frowned as he propelled himself up onto his elbow to reach out for his phone. He didn't hesitate to pick up when he saw Eva's name on the screen, and he pushed himself up. A frown etched its way onto his face when he heard the little gasps of breath, "Eva?"
"Stiles, can you come over?" Eva whimpered into the phone, and Stiles sat up quickly, his feet swinging over the edge of the bed. "Eva, what is it?"
"I just…Can you please come over?" Eva started again, her words being cut off with her gasps and sniffles, "I need to…I need to see my mom. I-I want to visit the lake."
Stiles blinked in confusion before he nodded slowly, then realized that she couldn't see him and started, "Of course. I'll be there as fast as I can. But can you please tell me what's wrong?"
"I just…I miss her." Eva whispered and Stiles felt his heart break a little before he heaved a sigh and started, "I'll be there in a minute."
Stiles reluctantly hung up and took a deep breath before he got up and glanced around his room. He looked down at himself and decided that he only needed a hoodie and sneakers and he was good to go. He didn't want to waste time, anyways. He grabbed his keys & phone before heading downstairs as quietly as he possibly could, and with surprising success managed to leave the house. Stiles looked down at his phone again and lifted both brows when he realized it was half past midnight.
It was one of those moments when he just wished his jeep could be slightly less loud. He parked in front of the apartment complex, not really minding the parking line since they were supposed to leave quickly. He called Eva again to tell her he was downstairs, expecting to meet her by the door, except she'd buzzed him in. Stiles frowned and glanced around momentarily before he hesitantly climbed out of the jeep and walked into the building.
After a short trip in the elevator to the floor Eva was on, he was surprised, and momentarily terrified, when he saw her peeking around the front door, waiting for him. "Hey…" He whispered as he stepped towards her just as she slid out of the apartment and closed the door. Stiles gazed down at her in the darkness, his eyes taking in every detail of her tear-stricken face. "What happened?"
"Everything's wrong." Eva whispered and shook her head slowly, "Everything's wrong and my mom is not here. She's dead." Eva had to refrain from talking anymore when she felt the sobs threatening to break through her lips again. Stiles quickly stepped towards her and wrapped his arms around her, "Ssh, hey, it's okay." He whispered quickly as his hands moved gently over her back, "We'll go see your mom now, okay?"
"Mhm." Eva nodded slowly and sniffled, and Stiles quietly led her out of the building and into the jeep.
Eva curled up into the seat all the way to the reserve's trail. Stiles glanced sideways at her every now and then but she made no noise, not an attempt to speak, and it hit Stiles that she didn't call him to talk, or to tell him how she felt. She wasn't getting better. She was getting worse. Stiles' eyes drifted to the windshield as they arrived towards the small lake's shore, and he turned to Eva. Her eyes had drifted too to the windshield, her eyes flickering over the waters of the lake glimmering underneath the crescent moon in the sky, before her hands reached for the door's handle and she started getting out.
Stiles followed after Eva quietly as she stumbled towards the lake's shore. He expected her to stop, but she didn't, she moved until she was ankle deep into the water, and he quickly took action, "Eva," He started as he stepped towards the lake's shore as well, his eyes flickering down to surface of the water that teased at the tips of his shoes.
"I won't go any deeper." Eva started, "I can't swim. Don't worry."
The new piece of information surprised Stiles, just as much as learning that Eva's name was actually Evangeline from her hospital records. However, knowing that she couldn't swim didn't make Stiles feel any better. "Well can you at least step back a little." Stiles started hesitantly, "I would really feel better if you're not actually in the water."
"I miss her so much." Eva whispered as her eyes drifted down to the water, almost as black as night with the soft glimmer of the crescent moon reflecting off the clear water. "I just…" Eva's voice cracked audibly, and Stiles stood there, not really knowing what to do as he watched her wrap her arms around herself. "Everything's wrong. Everything is…just…I miss her so much." She finally broke into the sobs again, and Stiles ventured into the water. He let his arm hover around her back, before he eventually sighed when she turned into him to bury her face into his chest, "I want my mom, Stiles."
Stiles felt his eyes well up with tears, before he enclosed Eva's petite frame into his arms and rested his cheek against the top of her head. He had nothing to offer her. There was nothing that he could say that could comfort her. He recalled the time he'd spent after his mother died. The nightmares, walking up and calling out for his mother before eventually crumbling into a mess – and he said those exact same words. I want my mom.
"I know." Stiles whispered helplessly as he closed his eyes and rubbed her back. "I know."