A/N: Thank you everyone for reading and commenting. My very, very special THANK YOU goes out to hazelmist… for always reading, giving me feedback and support. Couldn't do it without you! Now as for this chapter… please see comment below.
CHAPTER 10
A knock at his door made Hardy look up from his computer screen. He had been staring at it without even really seeing what was there. He tossed his glasses on the table and rubbed his tired eyes. He had spent the morning catching up with the work that he didn't get done last night after he had fallen asleep on his sofa.
Tess poked her head through the door and he gestured for her to come in. She walked up to his desk and placed a file in front of him, silently, eyes shifting back and forth, not looking at him. He let out a deep sigh and pushed the folder aside without even glancing at it. He stood up and before Tess could protest, he closed the door of his office and leaned against it. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked anywhere but at his wife. The silence was weighing heavy on them and in the end it was Hardy who broke it.
"Why did you tell Daisy those things, Tess?" he asked tonelessly. He finally looked at her. Her cheeks were flushed and she seemed uncomfortable in her skin, perched on his desk.
"I told you I didn't. I…"
Hardy didn't let her finish. "So then she's lying? She's never lied to me before but I guess there is a first time for everything. I broke a promise and she didn't tell the truth," he snapped sarcastically at her.
Tess opened her mouth and closed it again, taking in a deep breath. She looked out of the window instead of into his eyes. "Fine. She's not lying. I was angry at you for letting her down and I might have said some things she could have taken the wrong way."
It took him two long quick steps to close the distance between them. She jumped when he furiously slapped his palms on his desk, chest heaving with his breaths. His voice was deep, when he growled at her, his face mere inches away from hers, "How dare you?"
He couldn't even say anything else, all clear thought washed away with the red hot anger he was feeling. She had betrayed him, backstabbed him and undermined the relationship he had with his daughter. He was shaking, his heart fiercely protesting the onslaught of the overwhelming emotion. He pushed himself off the table and heavily fell into his chair. Last thing he needed right now was to pass out in front of her. He closed his eyes, trying to hide the angry tears that were threatening to well up. He hated himself for being so upset but it really hurt. Maybe he should tell her.
His voice was eerily calm. "I don't think you understand how much this hurts, Tess. I would never do that, no matter how mad I was at you and you know that. You're her mother and she needs you and I would never dare to interfere with what the two of you have. I…"
This time she interrupted him. "How can you sit there and say that? You always interfere. It's always about Daddy here and Daddy there. You're her fucking hero who can never do anything wrong. I'm always the bad cop and whenever she needs something she comes to you and not me. Do you even understand how much that hurts? You took her to the wedding after I had said no because I was concerned for her well-being and you guys made it sound like I'm being the unreasonable bitch who just wants to spoil the fun. For fuck's sake, Alec, she almost died from that stupid infection and so did you at her bedside from whatever that was that happened to your heart and you still dragged her and yourself out and I didn't even know where you went. What if something happened to the two of you?"
Her voice was sharp with pent up fear and frustration and she was just as furious as he had been. Her face was flushed and she didn't hide her angry tears. They stared at each other. Hardy blinked, leaving his eyes shut for a long moment. Her words echoed through his mind and his anger faded, reflecting on what she had revealed. It had never occurred to him that Tess might feel excluded from the relationship that he shared with Daisy. But it was changing wasn't it? Maybe she couldn't see it, but he could. He could see it because he found himself more and more often looking at the two of them sharing moments he was not part of. And yes, it did hurt. He might understand her better than she thought.
He opened his eyes. She was sitting on the sofa, staring out of the window, tears still running down her cheeks. He clambered heavily to his feet and walked over to sit next to her. Ever since he met her, he couldn't see her cry. She so rarely did and it broke his heart every single time. All his rage had dissipated and all that was left was the love for this woman who was his wife, his companion for so many years now, who had given life to his daughter and who was a wonderful mother to her.
He gently brushed his thumb over her cheek to wipe away the tears. He half expected her to turn away, but she didn't. He cupped her face with his hands and pulled her closer and placed a timid kiss on her lips. He rested his forehead against hers, eyes closed, and very quietly and softly said, "I'm sorry, my love. So sorry."
Her fingers caressed the nape of his neck and she pulled him closer, returning his kiss equally timid, their foreheads still resting together when their lips parted. Her voice was just as soft as his had been. "I'm sorry too. For everything."
Their eyes locked and for a moment Hardy felt reminded of the look she had had in her eyes the day her mother died. But then she blinked and it was gone. She stood up, trailing her hand over his shoulder and hair. "I should go back to work. Came to tell you we got the warrants and that forensics reported back on the hair specimen. Doesn't match anybody in the family."
Hardy almost physically had to shake off the incredibly sad feeling that her eyes had left him with. He scrubbed down his face with his hands, taking in a deep breath to compose himself.
"Right. I'll look over the report. We need to go and talk to the Ashworths. We should go together." There was more question than conviction in his voice.
She hesitated for a brief moment, then nodded. "Let me finish a couple of things, then we can go."
"Alright. Half hour?" He still hadn't moved from the sofa, afraid his legs wouldn't carry him. She nodded again and wordlessly left his office.
Exhausted, he dragged himself to his desk and picked up his glasses and the forensics report that Tess had dropped off. He tried to focus on it but it was hard. He was still way too shaken to be able to concentrate on the rather dull writing of the hair expert. The ache in his chest didn't want to go away and he finally gave in and took some of his extra pills. He gave it a few minutes, just letting his thoughts wander and finally he was able to settle down enough to direct his attention to work.
The hair they had found in Pippa's room wasn't hers and didn't match color and length of any of the other family members. That sure raised the question whose it could be. There were a million possibilities from Pippa's friends to the murderer himself. Or herself. Or themselves. Hardy corrected his thinking – there was no reason to believe that the perpetrator was either male or female, nor did they know if it was only one person or more than that.
He tossed the file down, frustrated. Of course as he had suspected, there wasn't enough genetic material to run the definitive nuclear DNA testing, although they said they would try. If it ended up just being mitochondrial, it would preclude any inclusion of one specific individual as the suspect. God, he really did hate hair specimen.
What was even more frustrating was the fact that they still didn't know if the Gillespie residence was the murder scene. They certainly hadn't found any evidence either way. He wished he could search the Ashworths' house before too much time passed but he had nothing but his and Tess' hunch to go by. Hopefully after they spoke to them today, things would change.
"Is she still mad at me?" Hardy asked while staring out of the passenger side window. He had let Tess drive, feeling rather fatigued.
"I don't think so. She had a good time and was happy with how the party turned out. She felt bad though that you weren't feeling well."
"She shouldn't worry so much about me," he mumbled drowsily, head leaning against the window. His eyes kept falling shut, the motion of the car rocking him to sleep.
"Alec?"
He jerked awake, his heart missing a few beats already so familiar now that he barely noticed it anymore. He sucked in a breath, and moaned slightly when letting it out. He realized they were at the house. Before he could open the door, her hand on his arm held him back.
"Please come home tonight, okay? Don't sleep in the office again. You look tired, you should rest in your own bed," she pleaded with him. He looked away, feeling guilty over all those times he had stayed over at the station or had come home way too late. He just nodded and opened the door. He climbed out of the car, steadying himself on the metal frame. Ever since his earlier argument with Tess, he was feeling off and couldn't quite find his composure. Not the best situation to question a possible suspect. He balled his hands into fists, his nails cutting into his palms. After a few more measured breaths, he finally was ready to do his job.
Tess was already at the stairs and rang the bell as soon as he joined her. It didn't take long and Claire Ashworth opened the door with a broad smile on her face.
"DI Hardy," she beamed at him. Then she briefly glanced at Tess. "And… sorry I forgot your name."
Tess raised an eyebrow. "DS Henchard."
Hardy had to hide a grin over her annoyed voice. When he addressed Claire, all amusement was gone though. "We had asked you and your husband to report to the police station this past Saturday to make a statement about the night the two girls went missing. It seems you couldn't make it. We have obtained a warrant to give us a DNA sample and are requesting for you to give an official statement." His voice was sharp, borderline unfriendly, but he didn't care.
Claire put her hand on his arm and looked up with her big eyes. "I'm so sorry, inspector. We had a late start on Saturday and then Lee had to go to work and I had a client. We can't really afford to miss the income, if you know what I mean."
Hardy squinted at her and moved away a step. He hated it when people invaded his personal space. She had been rather handsy the last time they had spoken to her. It had made him uncomfortable then, and did so now.
"This is not something to take lightly, Mrs. Ashworth. You have a choice. We can have some uniformed police officers come and pick you up to give your statement and the sample or you cooperate. Have I made myself clear?" Hardy growled impatiently at her.
She smiled at him and stepped up again, tapping her index finger on his chest. "Please call me Claire. Really don't like the 'Mrs.' thing. I'll be more than happy to come to the station tomorrow. It's always nice to see you, DI Hardy." She opened the door and beckoned them in. "How about you ask me your questions now. After all you made the effort to trek down here to talk to me. Lee's not in, by the way." She winked at him. Hardy wasn't quite sure what her game was. Was she flirting with him? Judging from Tess' stern face, she probably was.
He never had been good at picking up those clues, not even when he first dated Tess. In the end, she got so exasperated with him that she threw out all subtleties and made her attempts so obvious that even he could figure it out. She had showed up at his doorstep, wearing a stunning dress, handed him two theater tickets, ordered him to get dressed up, come back and ask her out. He had been so stunned that he followed all instructions and by the end of the night they had not only had their first date, but also their first kiss. He smiled at the memory.
Tess nudged him in the side, her face scowling. He eyed her from the side, knowing her well enough that he was sure he had committed another social faux pas. He sighed and stepped inside the house.
This time Claire led them to the living room. She sat down on the sofa not leaving many choices for them to sit besides next to her on the large piece of furniture. He tried to have as much space in between them as he could but she inched closer every time he moved.
"Can you tell me what you and your husband were doing exactly on that Saturday night?"
"Sure. We had dinner together, didn't really want to go anywhere. Too tired from the week, you know. So we just stayed in, watching telly. We went to bed early," she told them smoothly.
"What did you have for dinner?" Tess asked before Hardy could.
"We had salad and steak with potatoes." She didn't even have to think about the answer. Hardy found it rather unusual that she would remember a random meal from over a week ago this quickly.
"What did you watch?" Tess followed up her previous question.
Claire's answer was equally as fast. "BBC news and 'The Voice'. We like that show. Do you watch it? This season has been really good so far." She smiled at Hardy again and leaned closer.
Hardy had no idea what she was talking about and he didn't really care. He was annoyed by her chipper attitude while being questioned relating to a child's death and another one missing.
"When did you go to bed?" Tess continued to inquire about the timeline of the evening.
"Must have been around 10:30 or 11 o'clock, I think. We went at the same time. We hadn't had a lot of opportunity to spend time together during the week, if you know what I mean." She giggled like a high school girl at her own innuendo and seemingly accidentally bumped into Hardy. He had about enough.
"When did you see Pippa last?" he asked curtly. He had a pretty good idea himself after reading Pippa's diary, but wanted to hear what she had to say.
She thought for a moment. "I believe sometime during the week leading up to that weekend. I was showing her some tricks how to do her hair properly."
"So you didn't see her at all the day she disappeared?"
She shook her head vigorously. But then she her expression changed. "Oh, no wait. I did see her. I was doing Cate's hair for the wedding. Pippa popped in her head when Lisa came to the house. That must have been the last time I saw her before…," she trailed off, putting a hand over her mouth, appearing distraught. Hardy didn't quite buy her reaction.
Tess glanced at him and he knew she wasn't satisfied with the answer either. He just wished they could have had everything on tape, made it more official. He had more questions but didn't want to continue in this setting.
"Claire, we would like to get your statement down at the police station. You said you could come tomorrow?" He was trying to be friendly.
"Oh, of course. I'm free around noon. Will you be there?" Again she leaned closer and put her hand on his arm. He got up, freeing himself from her sticky touch.
Tess answered before he could. "There will be police officers to take your statements and the DNA sample. Please try not to eat anything within the hour prior to coming by. We would appreciate it, makes for a cleaner sample." Tess also had gotten up and they were ready to leave.
On their way out, Hardy inquired about where Lee currently was.
"Oh, he's at work. If you give me your phone number I'll text you the address of the place."
"How about you look it up now and we wait for you out here?" Tess suggested. Hardy squinted his eyes at her. She was annoyed, he could tell, even if she had sounded friendly. They waited for Claire to retrieve the location of her husband's latest job and after getting the information, they left. As soon as they were in the car, Tess exploded.
"Did you have to flirt with her like that?" she snapped at him.
"Excuse me?" Hardy was puzzled. "I did no such thing."
"Sure you did. She couldn't keep her hands off of you."
"Aye, she couldn't, not me. Why would I flirt with her? Besides, you know best that I'm really shit at that." His temper was rising. Why on earth would she think that of him?
"Oh, really? Is that so? Because you sure gave her a pretty smile after she indicated her husband wasn't around. I'd say that qualifies." Sarcasm was dripping off of her.
Hardy frowned. He racked his brain trying to remember what she was referring to. The only time he remotely felt like smiling was when he remembered their first date.
"Ach, for heaven's sake, Tess. I was thinking of something else, I was distracted. 'S got nothing to do with her." He was about to tell her what had been going through his mind, when she barked back at him.
"Oh, you're so good at making excuses for yourself. You probably would have given her your phone number. You better not be alone tomorrow, if she even comes to make a statement."
"You can be my chaperone if that makes you feel better. Apparently I can't be trusted. Thanks for that Tess, makes me really feel like I want to come home tonight, so that you can keep an eye on me," he snapped back at her. She just snorted and didn't reply.
Hardy kept quiet for the rest of the drive to Lee's job. So did she. He looked out the window trying to remember when they last had a conversation that didn't end in an argument. He couldn't and he suddenly felt profoundly sad over the realization.
When they reached their destination, it was him who held her back this time. "Tess, I'm sorry. I didn't want to offend you. I was totally clueless, I swear. All I was thinking of was our first date and how you made my silly arse do the right thing." He smiled at her, brushing her hair out of her face. "I'm glad you did back then and I feel bad that we've been arguing so much. I don't like that. Can we not do that anymore, please?"
He knew it was rather naive to put it that way and that there was so much more to this, but there was never enough time for them to have a real conversation. She smiled at him, her eyes were sad though.
"Alec, we should talk. But not here or now. Please?" He nodded, the sad feeling from earlier in the day catching up with him.
They found Lee Ashworth cutting some wood in the backyard of his client. He wasn't very pleased to see them there and didn't hold back with his annoyance.
"You better have a good reason to show up and prevent me from doing my job. Some people actually have to work for a living."
"That's exactly what we're doing here, Mr. Ashworth," Tess replied sharply. Hardy sighed inwardly. She had taken his bait, she should really know better than that. Maybe she was feeling just as off as he had been this whole day.
"Mr. Ashworth, you missed your appointment at the police station this past Saturday. We came to remind you and let you know that we are in possession of a warrant for you to give a DNA sample and are requesting for you to make an official statement."
Lee put down the circular saw he was holding and stood up to his full height. He squinted at Hardy. "Mind telling me on what grounds?"
"Your fingerprints have been found in the Gillespie house." This was all that Hardy was willing to reveal. He was about to ask him to recount the events of the night, when Lee cut him off.
"Of course they'd be there. We go in and out of that house all the time. I don't see why that gives you the right to come after me?" Lee folded his arms over, defensiveness not only expressed in his voice.
A small pleased smile curled up Hardy's lips. He had rattled his cage rather easily.
"We're not 'after you', Mr. Ashworth. We are just doing our job and gathering as much information as we can," Tess replied matter of fact. "We expect you to come in tomorrow to make your statement about that night and to provide us with the DNA sample." She pulled out a copy of the warrant and handed it to him. He took it and frowned at it. Then he looked Hardy in the eye.
"Do I need a solicitor?" Lee questioned hesitantly. Hardy tilted his head and held his gaze.
"If you feel you need one. Otherwise…" he trailed off on purpose and just shrugged, pulling the corners of his mouth down. He knew this wasn't the correct answer to the question, but it couldn't hurt to make Ashworth squirm a little more.
"I've got nothing to hide," Lee was quick to reply, defiance ringing in his words.
Don't you now? Hardy thought to himself. The gut feeling he had when he met him last was growing. He decided to shake him up a bit more, realizing that he was vulnerable.
"So, did you like hanging out with Pippa and Lisa?" Hardy's tone was neutral, but he allowed his face to show some of the interest he had in the answer. It was a calculated move and it paid off. Lee's head snapped up and he shifted nervously on his feet. Then to Hardy's surprise his expression turned sad when he spoke.
"Pippa was such a sweet girl. I still can't believe she…" he trailed off, staring at nothing, somewhere behind Hardy. His eyes betrayed his impassive face. If Hardy had ever seen someone being remorseful, than Lee Ashworth was it. It was the briefest of moments, gone in a blink, but Hardy was sure that he had seen the guilt in him. He carefully glanced at his wife, wanting reassurance in what he had witnessed. Their gazes met and Hardy knew she had recognized it as well.
Hardy was itching to ask more questions, but he also knew that whatever Ashworth had to say would be better captured in the station. He was about to reiterate their request, when Lee continued his interrupted thought.
His voice was quiet. "I really liked Lisa and Pippa, you know. Lisa was so full of life, so beautiful. She had so many plans, everything ahead of her. And now that's all gone." An angry scowl was becoming more and more apparent with his words.
"We haven't found her yet. What would make you think she's not alive anymore?" Hardy inquired inconspicuously.
"She hasn't come back. Something must have happened to her. Don't you think so?" Lee looked Hardy into the eye, challenging him. Hardy didn't rise to it and kept his expression neutral.
"I can't comment on that. We'll see you tomorrow in the station. Don't leave town before then." He turned to leave. "Oh, and Mr. Ashworth, we can always provide you with a public solicitor, just in case you feel the need." He grinned at him, fully aware of the effect on the other man.
They hurried back to the car, both wanting to talk about the brief conversation. As soon as they drove off, Tess couldn't hold back any longer.
"Did you notice his eyes when you asked him about Pippa and Lisa?" Tess' excitement was barely concealed. Hardy was trying not to get distracted by how beautiful her face looked, flushed with the emotion, bathed in the late afternoon light.
He nodded. "Aye, sure did."
"I'd say we've got our prime suspect." She was beaming.
He hated to burst her bubble, but it was necessary. "Tess, we have nothing to go by at this moment besides our gut feeling and a fleeting moment of a look in his eyes." She opened her mouth to argue, but he didn't let her. "Hear me out before you say something. We have to be extremely careful with how we proceed. I agree, he's a very likely suspect, but we can't blind sight ourselves to other possibilities. We also need to find evidence. We have nothing to go by so far and the last thing we want is for a child killer to walk free. Do you understand?"
She frowned, focusing on the traffic, but in the end nodded in acknowledgement.
"Good. I'm glad we can agree on this. We'll get him, but we have to do it the proper way. No mistakes, no lapses in protocol. We'll offer both of them a solicitor when they come in. I don't trust Claire either, she knows something. They are each other's alibi and we have to see what we can do with that."
Again she nodded silently. They both knew that in the past she had cut corners and wasn't as much of a stickler for procedure as he was. It had gotten her into trouble and he more than once had saved her from making a mistake along those lines. It couldn't happen this time around. He didn't have to say it, he could tell from her tense body that she was well aware of his thoughts.
"I'm glad we are on the same page with this." He put his hand on her arm, but she shrugged it off. Of course she'd be annoyed at him. "Tess, please, it's nothing personal. I just want to make sure that we get the bastard and there won't be any way for him to wiggle himself out of it."
"Fine. You can stop now. I got the message," she growled at him.
He sighed and leaned back on the seat, closing his eyes. The excitement was fading and all there was left was the dreariness of the murder of these girls and the fatigue of his sleep deprived and ill body.
"Do you want me to go straight home? You look spent." There was a softness in her voice that surprised him. He was aching to rest in his own bed, but there was still too much work to do. Also, he had to go and pick up Daisy's birthday present. She was turning thirteen the day after next.
He shook his head. "No, I can't. Too much to catch up with. Gotta get something for Daisy, too." He rubbed his tired face. "Sorry, would have loved to go home with you. Miss doing that." His lips curled up in a tired smile when his eyes fell shut again and he dozed off until they reached the station.
Tess dropped him off and went to pick up Daisy from the friends she had been staying with after school. He didn't like that they had to rely on all the families in her class to help out, but they didn't really have a choice. Maybe by the end of the week things would get better.
He left a notice with the uniformed officers at the desk to expect Claire and Lee the next day and to quickly get them to the interrogation room, separate, not together. Then he made his way back to his office. He hadn't been home in almost two days and he didn't want anything more than to see his child and rest. He finished the tedious paperwork, resisting the urge to sit down on the sofa, very well knowing where that would end. He was so worn out, he needed to sleep in his own bed. The next day he was supposed to see his doctor and he didn't want to worry her too much.
He called Emma Baxter while he was walking to his car. She picked up quickly.
"Emma, it's Alec Hardy. Just wanted…" She was so excited that she didn't even let him finish.
"It's done and it's amazing, if I may say so." No hello, just pure delight over her work. "Are you coming by to pick it up? I'm at the workshop until late tonight, so anytime would be fine."
He hid the sigh. He had wanted to pick it up the next day but how could he not go and get it that evening? Emma had done him such a big favor, he didn't want to thwart her enthusiasm. He turned the engine of his car on.
"Where's that again? Can you text me the address? I'm leaving work now and can be there shortly." He put down the phone as soon as the blue tooth connected the call to the car. He pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed his tired eyes.
"Sure. Will do. See you in a bit." She hung up the phone and less than a minute later, his phone buzzed with the address. He punched it in the GPS and drove off to pick up the one thing he really wanted to get Daisy for her birthday. Tess and he had settled on a few common presents, but either one of them often got something on their own in addition.
Hardy made it there in one piece, although he almost fell asleep behind the wheel and ran at least one light that wasn't quite yellow anymore. Emma had been right, it had turned out beautiful. Ever since Hardy had seen his daughter in the purple dress at the wedding, he had wanted to get her a necklace that would match it. He usually wasn't one for jewelry, but it felt right to give her something that was more adult and would remind her hopefully of the day they had together. It hadn't even been two weeks ago but for Hardy it seemed like an eternity. He shoved away the thought that it had been the last time he did anything fun with Daisy. It was too gloomy.
Hardy carefully took Emma's work of art out of the case it was resting in. The different shades of purple and violet of the blown glass pieces were catching the light and every little tear drop shaped bead shimmered back in its own unique way. There were tiny ones and larger ones, all carefully embedded into a filigree silver necklace. There was a central circle to be snug around the neck which gave rise to the many other larger and smaller woven silvery appendages which all contained the purple glass pieces. There was one large tear drop in the middle, suspended by one long silver band which would drape down the neckline of the wearer.
It was a very unique piece of jewelry and he was extremely pleased with Emma's artful execution of his vision. After Tess had told him she was pregnant he had done something similar for her. A friend made a beautiful set consisting of a necklace, ear rings and a bracelet for his wife. Tess still wore the bracelet every day.
He pulled out his wallet to pay Emma for it but she didn't want to hear anything about it. He protested for a bit, but in the end he gave in. He didn't want to offend her, after all she had done him a big favor. When he left, he gave her a hug and a timid kiss on the cheek. He was almost out the door, when he felt her hand on his arm, holding him back.
"How're you holding up, by the way? Dad told me that this case has been getting to all of you guys at the station," she asked gently. He stared at her blankly for a moment. What could he tell her? The truth was overwhelming and he couldn't risk it, not with the daughter of his boss, but a lie seemed wrong.
When he didn't speak, she continued, hesitation in her voice. "You know, while I was receiving the chemo and everything else, I spent a lot of time around people who were really ill. After a while you learn how to see signs of it." She found his eyes. "I haven't seen you in a while, but something's different about you and it worries me. Are you okay?" Her voice was quiet and gentle, laced with genuine concern.
Hardy pressed his lips to a thin line. There had been so many lies already, what difference would one more make? She couldn't find out because of who her father was. She must have read his mind.
"It's alright. You don't have to say anything. I know how hard it is to share, been there. I wouldn't tell Dad, I respect other people's privacy because I also understand the need for that. Just don't keep it all to yourself, it eats away at you, believe me. I made that mistake. It's not good to be lonely in a situation like that. If you ever need to chat, I'm around. Okay?" She smiled at him and squeezed his arm.
He managed to say thank you without sounding too shaken. Once he made it back to his car, it took him several minutes and some more pills to calm down enough to be able to drive home. Tess had said, they should talk. She was right, they sure needed to.
Hardy reached his house and it was late already. To his pleasant surprise, Daisy and Tess had waited with dinner for him. His appetite was poor but he forced himself to eat at least something. He was so exhausted he barely followed the conversation at the table. His heart hadn't really slowed down ever since earlier in the day and he was feeling more and more short of breath. His head was resting in his palm and he didn't realize his eyes were falling shut until his head slipped and he jerked awake.
"Jeez, Alec. Go to bed. You're falling asleep at the table like a little kid." Tess voice was playful, trying to make light of the moment for the sake of Daisy who was eyeing her father with concern.
"Dad, did you get any sleep last night?" Daisy asked sternly.
He shook his head. "Not much, darlin'." A weary smile played over his lips.
"Then you better go to bed right now, no stalling." She sounded all grown up and like a parent. She got up from her chair and made him do the same. Vertigo almost tilted his world upside down and he held on to the back of his chair, hoping they wouldn't notice. He took in a few steadying breaths and then let Daisy usher him out of the room.
Tess was grinning at them. "Don't forget to read him a bedtime story," she joked.
"He's been a naughty boy and doesn't deserve a story," Daisy replied, pushing him out the door.
"Oi, not fair." He meant to say more, but was too short of breath. His heart was pounding in his chest and by now the slight tugging had turned into pain, extending down his left arm. He was worried he might not be able to make it up the stairs, but somehow he managed to pull himself together just enough. He heavily fell on his bed. Daisy kissed him on the cheek and wished him a good night, turned off the lights and closed the door behind her.
"Lights out Dad. Don't sleep in your clothes again," Daisy yelled from the hallway.
It cost him all the energy that he had left to peel of his shirt and trousers. He fished out his phone and pills from his pocket and swallowed some more. He fell asleep before he could even notice any effect they might have had.
Severe pain in his chest woke him up. He felt disoriented and was struggling to breathe. He had had another nightmare, drowning in the river, Pippa's face turning into Daisy's. This was different from the night before though. This time he knew without a doubt it was his heart. He looked over to see if Tess had woken up, but she was sleeping peacefully next to him. He didn't have time to feel relieved as another wave of pain threatened to overwhelm him. His heart was still racing along just as fast as it had the whole day long. Something was clearly wrong more so than it had been. He couldn't afford to panic, but of course he did. He tried to sit up, only to fall back onto his pillow. The vertigo was still there and his vision was closing in. He rolled to his side, moaning with the pain and exertion. He blindly patted for his pills and found them in the nightstand drawer.
Tess stirred in her sleep, mumbling, "What's going on?"
He sucked in some air, hoping not to sound too breathless, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. "Just a bad dream. Go back to sleep."
She groaned and wrapped the blanket tighter around herself, pulling it away from him. His T-shirt and underwear were soaked in sweat and he shivered in the cool air. He gagged down his medication, staring at the ceiling, panting, waiting for the pain to ease up. It didn't. He fumbled for his phone. The numbers on the display were swimming in front of him and it took him a moment to recognize the time, 4:47 am. Was it too early to call his doctor? Or an ambulance? He was panicking more and more. In his foggy mind it dawned on him, he should wake up Tess, but unable to think clearly, all he could do was be scared about what she would say. Paralyzed by his irrational fear and inability to form a coherent thought, he was lying in his bed for a long time until finally his heart went from beating way too fast to taking a long pause. The black was closing in on him and he was sure this would be the end, but right before he felt himself passing out, his heart jolted and began to trudge along at a more normal speed.
His ragged breaths eventually woke up Tess. She rolled over and as soon as she saw him, she sat up, face worried. "Alec, what's happening? You look awful."
His voice was trembling. "I… I was dreaming I was drowning again… pulling Pippa out of the water." It wasn't untrue, but the omission of everything that happened after made it into yet another lie.
She brushed his sweat soaked fringe out of his face. "Good lord. That must have been some nightmare. You look like a ghost yourself. You sure you're okay? Nothing else the matter?" she pried, not buying his story entirely.
He sucked in another breath and tried to sit up. The ache in his chest was still present, but nothing like the excruciating pain from before. "Erm… it wasn't Pippa I pulled out of the water… it was Daisy," he explained with a toneless voice.
Tess' eyes widened. "Oh, Alec," she whispered. She moved closer and put her hand on his arm. Her touch soothed him and he closed his eyes, trying to recover from what felt like his heart had finally given out on him. His breathing calmed down and the pain subsided completely. He was utterly exhausted and the day hadn't even begun. Leaving his eyes closed he allowed himself to drift off into a fitful slumber until eventually his phone woke him up. It was a call from his doctor's office reminding him about his appointment later that day. After last night's events his memory didn't need to be jogged. He was scared enough to not want to wait any longer to talk to Emily Abbott. He just needed to make it through the day until then.
A/N: I have to admit I never thought I would write Alec and Tess kissing even if it was very chaste and timid… I started writing that scene and then the characters just kind of took over, especially Alec who still is so much in love with his wife. I wrote it and I teared up because it ended up being a good bye scene and I didn't intend on doing it that way. They were supposed to be fighting… as I said, Alec took over. Just remember, Alec still has a lot of feelings for her and he hasn't figured out yet what's going on and Tess… oh well, she's not a flawless human being that's for sure but at some point I think she did love our grumpy Scott and some of that might still be around. As she said in the show "I loved you for that" but as Hardy tells her so astutely "But not enough".
Alright, enough of self-explanation… I hope you still enjoyed the chapter despite the unexpected Alec and Tess moment. Thanks for sticking with the story.