Supernova

By Willow Athena

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of its characters, but Rien and this story are definitely mine

Author's note: Merry Christmas. This chapter is dedicated to all my wonderful reviewers who took the time out to review and send me some encouraging words – please continue. I appreciate every review and all your useful comments about the characters and the story. I wrote the bulk of this two years ago, but I have spent a long time refining this chapter, and every time I think about publishing it, I chicken out, but Choice Requires Courage, so here goes...

Warning: Rating for this chapter changed to M, so if you're not whatever age this site says then stop reading now.

CHAPTER 30: The Sun and the Moon

(Rien's POV)

"Follow me," he impassively said as he suspiciously looked me up and down. I was appalled by the way I had handled our discussions these last few days, I could have been less dramatic and more direct. I should have perhaps just told him how his zanpakuto had been torturing me all these months, but I needed him to understand how much it would mean to me to be able to call out my own zanpakuto. Should I tell him that I sleep with a reiatsu suppressing collar every night so I don't wake up next to him? Just in case. There would be no point, he wouldn't care about the lengths I go to, to keep my promise of friendship. I wondered if he would keep his promise of really training me this afternoon, or if I was to be silently murdered at this new secret location – even Renji was not allowed to come.

We had shunpo'ed to a vast deserted beach. It had pure white sand and excessively clear blue water, which formed imperial white foam as it hit the shore. I could not guess what mood he would be in by now, he was too hard to read when he refused to look at me and simply looked past me.

"I want you to use those rocks and cliffs as higher ground advantage and try to attack me, and as agreed, I will use the required amount of force to deter you. You must learn to use your surroundings as a tactical advantage," he dismissively stated, glancing up only once – but, it had been enough, I had seen his intent. He could have chosen various other locations in which to do this same training, but this place held a special significance for him – he had brought me here because it was beautiful and he had wanted me to see it. Perhaps it was the only apology I was going to get, a silent concession.

"Where are all the other people? I don't want to accidentally hurt someone."

"Then don't." His voice had its usual empty tone. I wasn't sure, but he was probably in one of his 'I hate Rien' moods – I wondered when his mercurial mood would cycle to the polar opposite, but after earlier, I really couldn't blame him. I should have just shut my mouth about his marriage. It was none of my business anyway.

"It's the Kuchiki private beach, no one will be in harm's way but you." I noted the insult hidden within the assurance – the implicit suggestion that he was in no danger from me. I resisted the urge to sigh.

I unsheathed the magical katana, having recently realized that its power was to magnify reiatsu – I'm sure it would have been very useful for someone with reiatsu. Renji had thought it was fantastic, but it was also quiet dangerous due to its unpredictability, Renji himself had almost lost an arm as his reiatsu had shot out of the blade in an arc. I realised why Byakuya had warned me about the magical katana, and Kimiko's disregard for my safety by giving it to me. Of course the Kuchiki Clan would have a private beach, where else would they dump all the bodies. My own voice screamed in protest as I placed my hands on the hilt of the katana, and I tried to shake the inner turmoil away. What was this sudden feeling?

I shunpo'ed to a rock behind Byakuya, already in my attacking stance. I leaped down, seeing him expectantly turn in my direction, I shunpo'ed behind him in mid-air as I had planned, and to his slight surprise. He however still managed to change direction and parry the blow.

Better than I expected, his expression read though he said nothing. I had become adept at reading his silent expressions; it had taken months of exposure to them and hints of understandings about him which had unlocked some of their meanings. He usually did not bother to speak to me unless it was absolutely necessary, or unavoidable. His recent interest in my feelings was baffling to me. Why would he care what I was thinking or feeling, even if he did consider me a friend.

I tried some martial arts with my katana attacks next, but he did not react to the complexity of the combination. Over the last few months, I had come to realize that he was far stronger than his outward appearance would suggest – I automatically flashed back to what he really looked like under all those layers, and quickly pushed the thought aside as I narrowly dodged one of his attacks.

"You're distracted." His lips momentarily brushed the hollow beneath my ear, causing my body to reflexively stiffen in response. I had obviously misjudged his mood today, today it was 'how much can I torture Rien before she snaps'.

My hands fell defenselessly to my sides with him still behind me. "Don't let your guard down," his deep, seductive voice warned as he placed his zanpakuto to my throat.

"Go ahead," I acridly spat back. He momentarily faltered, surprised by my sudden rash mood – I was usually able to withstand a lot more than this. He lowered his weapon and I sheathed my katana, realising my hands were only slightly burnt this time, and I could feel them heal as I let go of the hilt.

"I'm sorry, but I really can't take your duality today. I'm not strong enough yet." I let out a heavy sigh, like all the sighs I'd been holding in got together to support each other. He silently sheathed his zanpakuto.

"Perhaps tomorrow." I tried to smile, but failed miserably as I passed him. He caught my hand as I tried to turn and leave. His gentle touch shocked and paralyzed me. I did not want to turn back and look at him. I did not trust myself enough. His gentle touches were always like this – searing wounds on my heart. The endorphins felt euphoric in the present, but I knew I would pay dearly for them later, when I was all alone again.

"Don't you like it here?" he spoke softly, a hint of concern in his deep voice. It intrigued me immensely – he had never before cared what I liked. I forced myself to turn towards him, to better read the situation, but his eyes were downcast, staring at my hand within his with an expression that looked similar to disbelief, though he had tried to control his countenance.

"It's so similar to my inner world, but then again, you would know that. I do like it, it's beautiful here, far more beautiful than the beach I used to visit in Karakura Town," I acknowledged, looking into the beautiful sunset, changing the beach skies to hues of pink, blue, and purple. A cool gust of wind blew my hair behind my shoulders. I concentrated, closed my eyes, and attempted to breathe in the fresh sea air – but, all it smelt like was him. His subtle, complex, cherry blossom scent made me a little light-headed.

He let go of my hand, obviously certain now that I would not just leave. It was an almost equal mixture of relief and pain that his pulsating electricity no longer coursed throughout my body. I was afraid I would open my eyes and find him gone, so I kept them closed to maintain the illusion that we both stood gazing at the beautiful sunset.

I opened my eyes as the warmth of the setting sun was eclipsed by his iridescent face in front of mine. He took my face in his right hand and gently held it up to his. My world spun, I felt disoriented, unsure of what was happening.

"Don't…," I pleadingly whispered. I focused on his lips which had stopped less than an inch from mine. His eyes were too dangerous a place to look.

"You no longer feel…?"

I cut off his now soft, vulnerable voice, as his breath swept across my lips. "Byakuya, my feelings for you will never change, but…" He moved a little further away. My bottom lip reflexively formed a regretful pout. I looked up at his downcast eyes, fixated on my lips. I loved him so much – if only I could stop.

"I won't survive it this time…when you leave me." It had been painful to endure his absence after our first kiss, it had been excruciating having him leave after our second kiss…but this time I knew there would be no redemption. When he left, a part of me would die forever, would be consumed by the intensity of my feelings for him. I would emerge an empty shell of my current self.

A determined look crossed his face. He was always so sure when he made up his mind about something – probably because he, like me, agonised over it all. But, he hadn't considered my feelings in this equation.

"Trust me," he said in his deep velvet voice. He moved closer, now cradling my face with his other hand as well. I looked up into his mercurial eyes – they were calm, determined, and seductive. I felt my will crumble beneath his touch, it was always like this, like I loved him far too much.

"Do you trust me?" he asked as his lips gently brushed mine, turning all my logical objections to ash by the intensity of their brief touch.

Of course I trusted him, but that wasn't the point was it! I looked deep into his eyes, trying to spot some sort of deception, but there was none. "Byakuya, you know that I more than just trust you, I love…" His searing lips covered mine in an intense, determined kiss. My lips responded so naturally to his, as though they had never forgotten the feeling. My heart pounded, my body warmed, and I felt truly at home in this moment.

He pulled away.

Though I knew the inevitability of the movement, I could not stop the stabbing pain it caused, and I could not even regret the kiss which had set it off. He rested his forehead against mine – a smile forming on his perfect lips. The paralyzing beauty of it crept into my heart and crushed my will to do anything but love him.

"You're still standing." He panted slightly, still maintaining his smile. It seemed an odd thing to suggest that I would be in any other position. But perhaps my lack of concentration made me lose the meaning of his words. "I don't think you've even noticed, but I've released ¾ of my reiatsu already." He looked into my eyes as he said it, no longer smiling, his expression so much more serious. How could I have noticed such an insignificant thing such as reiatsu when he kissed me? Why he was releasing his reiatsu in the first place, made no sense to me.

"You're not hurt, are you?" He sounded concerned. Why was he constantly afraid that he was going to physically hurt me? I was not fragile. There was nothing we could do about the emotional turmoil though – he couldn't make himself love me after all. I couldn't understand what was going on. Looking into his eyes confused me, there were so many emotions swirling in them. Though previously I may have thought it impossible, Byakuya looked more beautiful and alive today than I had ever seen him before. Had my earlier words made a difference?

"I'll be okay, at least until the guards get here – I'm sure they noticed the spike in your reiatsu, even if I didn't." I tried to keep the pain out of my voice, but failed. This kiss was probably just a training tool, a distraction to test my concentration – I had obviously failed horribly, but I could not think about anything except the pain now – the pain I could not bring myself to regret. I was probably supposed to be practicing picking up and controlling my own reiatsu, that's what he had said the other day.

"There is a protective seal around this beach, no one will feel any reiatsu outside of here. The beach is hidden from the unskilled. I trained my bankai here when I was younger." He paused, closing the small distance between us again, his lips moving past my cheek to my ear. "Reiatsu of my magnitude can be very destructive within the walls of Seireitei," he whispered in the hollow beneath my ear, one of his favourite methods of torture.

He held my gaze again. His left hand traced my jaw and gently moved down to caress my neck; I swallowed out of reflex and unconsciously moistened my lip, becoming more nervous with every second that passed. His touch was both euphoric and paralyzing at the same, I could not understand his movements, I could not discern his motives. I wanted to return his touch, but I could not bring myself to accept this hallucination. I had probably been knocked unconscious during training and my mind had obviously conjured up this torturous hallucination.

His left hand slowly traced down my shoulder and picked up my gloved right hand; his movements seemed so certain, like he had contemplated doing this many times before. He kissed my palm, one of the only bare surfaces of my skin, and held it up to his cheek – a look of contentment crossing his face.

He felt so warm, so real.

In that moment I decided – if I was going to burn for this, I would incinerate myself until nothing was left, I would give in completely, I would leave no hope of retrieving my sanity. I ran my fingers through his hair, unhindered this time by the lack of a kenseikan, it felt indescribable, but perhaps it was just because I was overwhelmed. I had often fantasised about what it would feel like to run my fingers through his beautiful hair, but had never had the courage or permission to attempt it before. His kenseikan was more than just an ornamental accessory, it reminded him of his nobility, his responsibility, his duty to so many people – it was always a great burden to bear, but he bore it with dignity and without complaint. I loved even that part of him – the part that kept us isolated from eachother.

He removed his hindering wrist guards and his captain's haori, throwing them onto the forgiving soft white sand of the beach. He looked so reachable without all his accessories, so indescribably beautiful that it made my heart cry out his name. I felt the normally heavy load he carried lighten again as he discarded all his constant reminders. He looked so young now, staring at me in his plain shinigami robes.

"Why is it that this is all you want?" his deep voice had an edge of vulnerability to it as he gestured to his plain clothes.

A perfect delusion, I thought.

I held back the thought, trying to give in to the impossibility of his words, and answer as I would if he were real. I walked closer to him once more. I caressed his velvet cheek and ran my now ungloved hands through his free-flowing silken hair. He didn't recoil from my touch, in fact he leaned into it and closed his eyes, as one would when trying to commit an intense feeling to memory.

Standing this close to his six foot tall fame, I realised how close in height we were, there was less than half a foot's distance. The physical and emotional distance he usually kept made him seem so much taller, so much more unreachable.

His eyes opened, looking searchingly into mine for an answer to his question, but wasn't the answer obvious, did it really need to be said? Perhaps it did.

"I love only you, not your titles, not your power, and not your strength. I see you, just you…and that is enough for me, Byakuya. You are always enough, you never need to be anything more." If I was going to burn for this, I would stoke the flame hot enough to engulf me and turn me to ash! His expression became serious, almost unreadable – but it didn't matter, I was about to fling myself into the fire, even if my wings burnt and my body would be reduced to ashes, I would have this one moment of complete abandon, of happiness…of love.

My hands moved up his shoulders as I raised myself closer to his height, he compliantly leaned down, placing his hands on my waist and lifting me slightly. My lips gently fluttered against his as my tongue traced his lips. His lips were smooth. Soft. Hot. The feeling of his lips against mine was addictive. He did not seem surprised by the intensity of my kiss and immediately responded with an equal ferocity. I was not prepared for his urgency, and my paralysed legs faltered causing us to fall to the forgiving white sand. His kiss did not falter, as though he had expected this also. He didn't try to save us, though he could have, he just fell weightlessly to the sand with me, cradling my head in his hand.

"Too much for you to handle?" he said a minute later, a cheeky smile forming on his burning pink lips. My heart pounded an irregular rhythm in my ears and I couldn't really speak, but I could not have this perfect moment end – I took it as a personal challenge that I should make him feel the intensity I was capable of.

Although his body lay partially on mine, he supported his own weight on his right elbow, as he affectionately moved my fringe away from my eyes with his left hand. He looked so happy. My right hand grabbed the folds of his robe around his neckline, and pulled him down into a kiss full of abandon. The wet feel of his kiss was like pouring gasoline on an already out of control fire yearning for more fuel. My hand travelled up his neck and into his hair, securing him to this sensual, desire filled kiss. His hair fell over us, shutting the rays of the newly risen moon out. Something about this kiss felt familiar, so real…my heart pounded harder, my breath came in wild gasps, my body felt a yearning for him that was beyond words, beyond reason.

He was real, I realised.

My heart soared and emotion-filled tears streamed down the sides of my eyes. He felt one fall across his hand and pulled out of the kiss, concern filling his beautiful misty eyes. "Did I hurt you?" His breath danced across my lips. He wiped the tears away with his free left hand.

"Maybe we should…" I did not let him finish that inevitable sentence. My lips crushed into his. The increasing intensity of his taste made me lose control, pull at his clothes and crush my body against his.

"We should stop…"

"I won't be able to…"

"Maintain control much longer…"

He said in the free moment between one kiss and the next. His breathing was heavy, and his body burnt a radiating and intense heat on top of mine.

"I don't want you to be in control, my love," I revealed while nibbling on his ear. He growled and I felt his body stiffen in response. He held my right shoulder down, effectively pinning me to the soft sand. His eyes were closed in concentration. Is this all we are allowed – this brief touch?

"Perhaps we are like the sun and the moon, undoubtedly connected but never able to share the same sky, banished into soul destroying isolation," I suggested, moistening my kiss-swollen lips and looking up into his beautiful face above me. He was in that practiced mode of concentration that so often flung us apart, like he willed the polarity of his heart to shift.

His eyes slowly opened. His eyes were so beautifully soft and caring – I didn't feel his detached concern anymore, but the warmth of him caring for me. "But it is the sun's radiance that allows the moon to shine as brightly as it does. Their love affair eternal and so intense that they are only allowed brief touches or they would consume eachother and throw the world into chaos," he argued.

"Don't go." I saw the intense, vulnerable pain of my words reflected in his soft caring eyes. He had never looked at me like this before, like he had nothing to hide from me.

"I did promise, didn't I," he defeatedly said, releasing my shoulder and bending down to kiss me once more. "Perhaps this moment is our eclipse," he whispered against my lips.

His kiss was light and gentle…teasing even. I placed my hands inside the neckline of his robes, and ran my hands up his muscular torso and neck, like I had fantasised doing so many times. I crushed my body against his, wanting to feel the solidity of it against me. I wrapped my right leg around him, and crushed his body further into mine, searching for the former intensity of his kiss.

He was possessive. The new ferocity of his kiss was so surprisingly intense, that I could not even gasp for air. I felt myself becoming light headed, about to pass out, but I did not want to stop. My heart beat, almost out of my chest. I felt him relinquish control as his hands searchingly explored every contour of my body. My body was on fire beneath his inferno. I pulled the sash holding his robes closed and it easily unravelled. He deftly flicked his hands out of the robes, one by one, and threw the garment aside. I ran my eager hands up his toned muscular torso. I felt the tension in his muscles increase as he felt me easily kick off my boots. He helped me easily slide my tights off. It felt like a fantasy, where everything was exactly as I wanted it to be and nothing was more perfect than the man I loved…loving me back.

I could feel myself about to pass out as he relinquished me from his kiss and I finally gasped cool, fresh air. He had moved down to kissing my neck now. I was in excruciating pleasure as Byakuya ran his strong, soft hands down my bare thighs and under the open folds of my training outfit. Byakuya's kisses went lower on my body and I reluctantly let out a stifled moan. I felt his lips curve into a smile on my collar bone before venturing lower down my body. He slowly unzipped my dress, stopping halfway to cheekily stare up at my blush, then continuing lower, exposing my almost naked body beneath. My inexperience obviously amused him. I slinked out of the sleeves of the dress and ran my fingers through his hair as his hot, wet mouth encased my breast. My body arched in response to this pleasurable sensation. It was unfair, he was driving me insane – on purpose!

His assessment was right, I hadn't known what I was asking when I requested this. My blushing, burning body must betray my inexperience to him, but his eagerness suggested he enjoyed it this way.

"Byakuya!" I screamed out as his tongue teased my nipples and his hand rubbed against the lace of my underwear. I put my hands on his face and pulled him into a hot wet kiss. I craved his taste on my tongue again. His kiss was a surprisingly familiar relief from the intensity of these new unexplored sensations. More than with any other movement, my heart leapt at his kiss – it made me want him more, if that were at all possible. I needed to be closer to him. I wrapped my almost naked body around him and rolled us onto our sides. It surprised me how easily his pants came off, revealing his beautiful, naked body beneath. His kiss faltered – I could tell he was surprised by how effectively I had removed them. I may have been inexperienced, I may not have known what I was doing, but I loved him – surely that would have been enough; it was all I wanted to show him.

He rolled us back to our previous position and with one arm pinned my wrists above my head. He obviously liked this position, but I wasn't afraid this time. He broke our kiss, but I was relentless. I wanted my love for him to be evident in every action, in every kiss, every movement my body made to be closer to his. I trailed my tongue across his soft supple neck, kissing him here and there. I want you. My body ached for him. It wasn't just love, the pure ideal everyone thinks of, it was selfish and needy, and possessive...and in this moment, my feelings for him grew – where I thought there was no room left for them to grow or be any stronger...what was this? To physically crave someone this much, like a drug. No it was something more basic than a drug, it was like a flame craving air, else it would be extinguished and cease to exist. I wanted to burn. I angled my lace pelvis up, crushing it into his hot nakedness. I could feel his muscles tense and his arousal grow. I saw his eyes close in concentration. I could see him attempt to regain control, but I could no longer be without him.

"Be with me," I whispered in the hollow beneath his ear, crushing my naked skin to his as much as I could. His eyes opened. They looked puzzled, unsure, unwilling.

I briefly kissed his responsive lips. "I am yours," I said with emotion filled certainty as I looked into his beautiful quicksilver. Don't leave me again.

Our renewed kiss was one of sudden, deep, sensual abandon, as though I had hit the mark with my words. Did he truly desire me to be his? His soft gentle hand moved down my naked torso and then under the lace of my black underwear, which he snapped off as though it were as insubstantial as air. He flung the detached pieces in the breeze as he crushed his naked body into my smooth, soft skin. As his hands explored my newly naked form, I felt him become uncertain again.

I broke our kiss and caressed his cheek with my now free right hand. "We cannot be apart any longer," I said, looking into his concerned filled eyes. He stared at me for a while, obviously searching for the briefest flicker of doubt in my expression, but he found none. I was certain.

Although unexpected, this was not an impulsive decision for either of us. We have loved each other for the longest time. I had previously discounted all the signs that he loved me because I assumed they were simply my wishful imagination, but every sweep of his tongue across mine told me he loved me as much as I hoped he did. We had both finally stopped running from each other and there was no reason to wait.

He lifted my right leg until I wrapped it around him, it was almost instinctively natural. He squeezed my naked bottom as his hands ran down my thighs and he pressed his naked pelvis against mine. I was curious. I should have tried to get a better look, but I was too nervous. He kissed me, as if preparing me for something, and pulled slightly away so I could look deeply into his sensual eyes. With his right hand, he laced his fingers with mine and held my left arm above my head, the soft sand slightly burying it.

Although I knew he had been excruciatingly gentle, I was not prepared for the intensity of the pain as he entered me. It was slow, allowing me to adjust around him. I had managed to control the scream which had threatened to escape, but my right arm held onto him tightly and I pulled him closer, lightly biting into his thrusting shoulder.

He periodically kissed me, it anesthetised some of the pain. He looked deep into my eyes, watching for the pain to slowly dissipate, and feeling my grip on his right hand wane. His slow, gentle thrusts were only painful for a few minutes, until I had adjusted to him. His rhythm was constant, his heat was soothing, and after a while, the pain began to feel like pleasure again.

As he felt my grip on him relax, and my hand begin to explore every contour of his well-defined body, his kisses also became more passionate, more urgent. I angled my pelvis into his, letting him know I wanted more. His pace quickened, his thrusts became deeper, my body began to burn.

Though I had read about orgasms, nothing had prepared me for the experience of them. After a few more minutes, the rising intensity of my feelings could not be contained any longer – my muscles all tensed and pulsed at once, back arching I released him from our kiss to scream out. It could not be contained. He looked like he had this almost self-satisfied look on his beautiful face, but my almost drugged vision could not be sure. It felt like being inside myself, in my own world, where only he and I existed. It was fortunate we were alone.

His pace slowed for a few moments after, and I felt relief and encroaching euphoria. After a few moments of slow deep thrusts, he put his hand under my bottom and angled my pelvis to the perfect angle. The pace and intensity of his rhythmic thrusts hastened, and I felt the quick exponential build of another orgasm. As my muscles tensed around his arousal, I felt him pulse inside me. My heart raced, my body sweat, my soft fingers pushed into his defined, tense arms, and I let out an uncontrollable, deep, intense scream, only this time, mine wasn't the only scream heard. The experience was transcendent.

His rhythm slowed as he gazed down at me. His sweat slicked hair clung to us both in beautiful, long pieces. His eyes looked darkly content with his pupils fully dilated. His eyes slowly slid shut as he kissed me. His kiss was passionate, intense and lingering. He slowly pulled out of me and rolled, exhausted onto my right. He lay naked on his back, both arms above his head, one palm up across his closed eyes. A thin sheen of sweat glistened like starlight on his chest. Though my breathing was erratic, his was so much more urgent, and I turned on my side to watch the quick rise and fall of his chest. I placed my head on his left shoulder, I could not move any more than that. I marvelled at the beauty of his blue-tinged ivory skin in the moonlight. His naked body was unabashedly on full display now. His left arm moved to cradle my naked body, moulding it around his. He continued to remain motionless otherwise, hand still palm up across his closed eyes. I noticed it now – him trying to control his reiatsu.

I was exhausted. It felt like two years of tension was released. No one ever tells people that making love can be more tiring, more exhausting and more intense than anything they've ever experienced. As his breathing normalised, so did mine. With my head on his shoulder and my hand on his chest, I could both hear and feel his heartbeat clearly. It was strong, regular, and consistent, nothing like the shallow erratic pace of my own. Listening to his heartbeat like this was soothing, peaceful…bliss.

Original Author's Note

I have agonized over every decision I made in this chapter, from the direction, to how explicit I should be, to well...everything. I hope I did not disappoint anyone. It's been really difficult carrying through all the astronomical themes. I hope this Christmas gift was worth the wait. Please REVIEW and let me know if you liked it or if I messed up. The more feedback, the more encouraged I will be, and the faster I will update. I'm really holding my breath for the reaction right now...

~Willow~

Amended Author's Note 2014:

Hi all, long time no write. I cannot begin to apologise to you all for the hiatus this story has taken. Besides the M rating scare, and having to remove 5 chapters, my personal life imploded at the time but I have been in good spirits for a while now and have often thought about finishing this story. I'm not a morose type of person, so I couldn't be kept down and out indefinitely. I've recently read this from start to finish again and I've been drawn in and a little proud of myself for getting this far, so I'd like to reload those taken down chapters and continue on. I'm just going to put my trust in the readers and hope no one reports me or this story because sex has been such a small part of this story but I thought it would decrease the integrity of the relationship if I omitted it or diminished the intensity of it. I blushed when I read over some of the things in this chapter but it would have disrupted the flow far too much if I had removed anything.

Please read and review if you enjoyed the story. A special thanks to DayDreamer1606 for their encouragement during my banishment.

~Willow~