A/N: Thank you as always for reading. It's a rainy Sunday for Alec and his family… I am eternally grateful to hazelmist for not only editing but also for encouraging me to keep things as they are.

CHAPTER 20

Grey light filtered through the drawn curtains. Rain was tapping softly against the window, lulling Hardy back to sleep. He rolled over and pulled the blanket tighter around him, keeping out the cold. His eyelids were heavy and he had no intention of facing the day. The overnight dreams were remote and for once he didn't wake sputtering and choking. His heart was beating steady in his chest, and although his body was sore, he felt more rested than he had in a while.

Noises from downstairs drew him in and he eventually opened his eyes, listening to what carried into the bedroom. There was a squeal and then laughter from Daisy. Tess shouted something he couldn't quite make out, but it was happy. A few loud clangs were followed by more laughter and then suddenly music blared through the house. More shouting from Tess silenced the song quickly.

His lips curled up into a broad smile. Whatever his two girls were doing, they sure were having a lot of fun. He idly wondered if him joining in would spoil it. A quick glance at his phone confirmed that it was late in the morning, almost noon. No wonder he felt rested, he had slept more than twelve hours. He stretched under the covers, stifling a lazy yawn. He ran his fingers through his fringe, ruffling his thick mop of hair. Daisy always made fun of his bed head when she caught him early in the mornings. He sat up slowly, swinging his long legs onto the ground.

He gathered his medications and padded into the bathroom. He refused to even acknowledge the mirror knowing what would look back at him. He didn't want to see it, not today, not while the happy noises of his family were warming his soul. Much to his dismay he never had made it out of his clothes the day before. He peeled them off and couldn't help but notice how loosely his slacks were hanging on his hips. When he couldn't justify soaking under the hot water any longer, he reluctantly turned off the shower and stepped into the chilly air.

He found his sweat pants and most comfortable shirt, feeling the need to be as far away as possible from work and all the related heartache as he could. The music was playing louder now that they must have realized he wasn't asleep any more. When he walked down the stairs, he heard Daisy singing along. And he also noted the scent of cake baking in the oven wafting through the house. That explained some of the banging. A grin lit up his face. He might have a reputation of setting fire to the kitchen while making breakfast but Tess and Daisy's baking adventures were even more infamous. He prepared himself for the chaos that would await him and he wasn't wrong.

The kitchen was a disaster zone. Several cook books were opened up and piled upon each other. The table was cluttered with bowls, utensils and ingredients. Flour was not only dusting the wooden surface, but was sprinkled all over the counters and a substantial amount had found its way onto the floor. The cocoa mixed with it, forming picturesque swirls of light and dark. There were foot prints trailing through the kitchen and into the dining area. Hardy squinted at them, guessing who's they were. The sink was packed with dishes. Someone had left the water running to soak a pot and it was almost overflowing. Hardy sighed and quickly stepped up to turn off the faucet. Where was everybody? The flour stuck to his bare feet and he rubbed his soles against the bottom of his sweat pants leaving white stains. The oven was lit up and he bent down to see what they had come up with this time. The smell was tantalizing and his mouth watered.

"No peeking, Dad!" Daisy yelled from the door way and jolted his heart into a frenzy of stuttering beats. He straightened up and steadied himself against the counter. The moment passed as quickly as it had come and he was grateful for that. He looked up and all he could do was chuckle over Daisy's ludicrous appearance. Her face was smudged with frosting – he strongly suspected she had sneaked a few more spoonful of 'tastings' than needed – and her hair was matted with batter and flour. There were long stains running down her apron, undoubtedly where she had wiped her fingers while battling the elements in this ultimate cake fight. Tess popped up behind her and didn't look much better. She didn't sport the frosted face but her hair was almost as messy as Daisy's. Her shirt was stained with food coloring. How they could be this unruly when baking beat his ability to comprehend but he never complained as the results were too delicious to be disgruntled over.

Tess walked up to him, placing her hand on his arm. "Did we wake you up?"

He shook his head.

"Daisy, why don't you go and get cleaned up a bit before we eat lunch?" Tess encouraged her daughter. Daisy quickly pecked a kiss on Hardy's cheek, leaving a trace of frosting in Hardy's stubble and trudged off obediently.

"How are you feeling? Everything all right?" Tess asked hesitantly. Her hand came up and wiped away the smudge.

"'M fine, love. Thanks for letting me sleep in." He felt awkward knowing that he was still holding back about the true nature of his illness. He forced a smile that he wasn't quite feeling. Then he tilted his head towards the oven.

"What's that all about?" he asked and tried to steal another glance at the inside. Tess whacked him lightly on the shoulder.

"Oi, Daisy said no peeking. Wait until it's done. Also, no sweets before growing food, remember?" She wagged her finger in his face.

Hardy let out a mock groan. "No fair, torture is illegal in this country." Their eyes found each other and this time the smiles were true.

"Are you hungry? Lunch is ready. I made ratatouille and there is salad. Daisy was doing the side dishes so I take no responsibility."

Hardy stepped up and placed his hands on her waist. She wiggled out of his touch before he could succeed in kissing her.

"Alec, not now. I have to finish the food." There was a slightly annoyed undertone that Hardy wished he could have ignored.

Disappointed he grumbled, "I just wanted to say thanks."

"You don't have to. You can use a little bit of spoiling," she stated rather drily. "Go sit down. Everything should be ready. Do you want some wine?" Tess was pouring a glass for herself.

Hardy shuffled his feet. "Erm… I'm not supposed to," he said insecurely, drawing a circle in the flour dust on the kitchen table.

"Oh." There was an awkward silence and neither one looked at the other.

"Right. I'll go sit down then," Hardy finally said.

He was almost out the door, when Tess stopped him with a hand on his back.

"Alec, you would tell me if this is serious, wouldn't you?" There was a quiver in her voice, just enough to make his heart fall. He couldn't bring himself to burden her with the truth. It was dumb and immature, but he had no will power to shatter her world. Not with her standing there, hair tangled and sticky with cake batter, eyes so wide with fear that all the resolve he had to tell her was lost somewhere in that deep blue ocean of her soul. So, he turned around and lied straight to her face.

"I would. Please do not worry so much. I'm fine." He brushed a strand of hair off her forehead and smiled. Her hand came up to his hand and held it against her cheek. Then she let go and nudged him into the dining room. He slowly walked to his chair and sat down. It took him a great effort to keep the guilt from showing on his expression. By the time Daisy and Tess joined him at the table, none of them would have ever known what he was hiding from them.

"Can I have dessert now?" Hardy whined like a four year old after obediently finishing his 'growing food'.

"Dad, you're incorrigible. Just wait until it's time for tea and then we can have the cake." Daisy grinned at her mother who shrugged her shoulders.

"Oi, no fair, I've kept my end of the bargain and even ate the salad. I want cake now," Hardy demanded, pouting and crossing his arms over his chest. His forehead was wrinkled up in a frown.

It was a game they played. When Daisy was a small child she would throw tantrums if she didn't get her promised dessert. At some point Hardy started imitating her words and gestures as a distraction. At first Daisy was utterly dumbfounded having her actions monkeyed back at her. Then she got mad at her father which only encouraged him to tease her even more. Then she got smart and tried to strike deals. It soon became clear that she was a tough negotiator and more often than not her parents lost. Hardy had once made the mistake of applying the same rules to the grown-ups and ever since then he wasn't allowed to eat dessert if he hadn't demonstrated appropriate intake of 'growing foods' himself. Which was a hard pill to swallow for Hardy as Daisy's sweet tooth didn't come out of nowhere, her father had passed it on.

"Mom, say something," Daisy cried for back up.

"Love, please," Hardy begged.

Tess chuckled and shook her head. "Oh no, I'm not getting involved. The two of you have been at this silly game for years and I'm staying out of it." She stood up and gave them a mischievous smile. "And as I'm not part of it, I can have my cake whenever I want."

She ducked when father and daughter threw their napkins at her and hurried into the kitchen, in hot pursuit by Daisy who was yelling at her that the cake was for later. Hardy took it slower but he stalked after them, trying to catch a glimpse at the fabled baked good. Daisy slammed the door in his face before he succeeded.

Right. Apparently it was a matter of national security that he would not see the cake until tea time. He sighed and retreated to the sofa. A dark spot on the rug caught his wandering gaze. His blood. Absentmindedly, he rubbed the spot on his forehead where he had hit the coffee table last weekend. He had a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that it had only been a week since then. It seemed longer than that. So much had changed and the two most important people in his life still didn't know about it. Tess and Daisy's conversation filtered through the closed kitchen door and he listened to it without trying to understand the words. Leaning back on the sofa he closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift off again to the sound of laughter and life.

His mobile's tinny ring tone woke him with a startle, provoking another uncomfortable bout of fluttering in his chest. Without looking he picked up, too distracted by keeping his heart in check.

"What?" he growled at whoever was to blame for the interruption of his nap.

"It never ceases to amaze me how one single person can be so grumpy when answering a phone," a Scottish voice boomed into the speaker.

Hardy rolled his eyes. "You woke me up."

"Why're you sleeping in the middle of the day? Are you an old man now?" Duncan teased.

"Ach, shut up," Hardy snapped back and sat up, running his fingers through his hair.

"Or is your crummy heart bothering you?" Duncan asked, all humor gone from his voice.

"I'm fine, Duncan," Hardy replied. Not surprisingly, he didn't get away with it.

"I don't think you are. I saw you on the local news. You looked like shit, if I may say so. You weren't in great shape at the wedding but I'd say things must be worse now. I also read what this despicable woman wrote about you and the Carter case. What the hell is going on?"

Hardy was silent. Last he had talked to Duncan was two weeks ago at his friend's wedding. He had wanted to get things taken care of and tell his family about his illness back then. Hardy stood up and stepped onto the porch, closing the door behind him. Rain was dripping down the wooden roof forming puddles on the tiles. He probed one with his bare toes and watched the ripples on the water.

"Alec? Please talk to me."

"I…" Hardy stopped before he could even get going. He had no idea where to start. The events of the past weeks were too overwhelming and challenging his already poor abilities to talk about himself.

Duncan sighed on the other end. "I guess you never took off work like you said you would to get yourself straightened out."

"No. I meant to though, but then those girls disappeared and somehow my life just went to shit. And then I pulled one of them out of the water and almost drowned and now her ghost is haunting me every night and I drown over and over again and my heart is shit and I'm never going to be healthy again and I almost killed Daisy in the car and I keep passing out and can't even do my job right and my boss knows but I can't tell Tess because she'll be so worried that I'll die and I might anyway and they want to put in the pacemaker next week and I'm so exhausted and I don't know what to do any more."

The silence that followed his outburst was only interrupted by the loud noise of Hardy sucking in air.

"Right," Duncan said eventually. "I see. A bit much going on there, ey? Would you mind clarifying the issue about the shitty heart and dying? 'Cause I find that a bit disconcerting, to say the least." There was just enough sarcasm in Duncan's voice to smooth out the anxious tone.

Hardy plopped on the porch swing and gently rocked himself. He didn't feel like going through a lengthy explanation but there wasn't a short version of the story. He scrubbed his face down and then it all spilled out, more slowly this time. He told Duncan about the day when he found Pippa, the horror of the recurring nightmares, how he could barely handle the fact that Pippa and Daisy were so close in age, how he couldn't detach himself emotionally from the parents, the case and his disgust over leaving a child to rot in the river. He expressed his anger and frustration about the press and how he had made a deal with the devil and it had back fired on him. He didn't hold back about the physical exhaustion, the times he actually had passed out, and the strain that had been put on his heart which it couldn't handle and most likely wouldn't be able to handle even if he did get the pacemaker. He cried when he mentioned the near accident. When he explained what Emily had made so painfully clear, that he would never be healthy again, his voice finally faltered and his stream of words ebbed down until he had nothing left to say.

Duncan listened quietly until Hardy had fallen silent. It took him a few moments to say something and Hardy was almost afraid he had scared him away.

"Alec, did you talk to Tess?" Duncan asked, worry lacing those few words.

Hardy sucked in a deep breath and let it out. "I tried. She knows something's up but I just can't tell her. She's already so worried even with the little information I gave her."

"Do you want me to come up there and sit with you guys? I don't mind. Even if Tess and I aren't on the best terms, I think it might make things easier," Duncan suggested carefully.

"No," Hardy snapped. Then he reconsidered. "Maybe. Ach, I dunno." He got up and started pacing, his bare feet leaving foot prints on the wet deck of the porch. Duncan knew him too well.

"Think about it. I could come anytime you need me. When is that procedure again?"

"My doctor said she's trying for Friday, she'll confirm tomorrow." He shivered with a wind gust blowing in the rain.

"Do you need someone to be there with you?"

Hardy hesitated. It was tempting to accept Duncan's help and to not have to tell Tess. But that wasn't a solution. He ran his fingers through his damp hair and shook his head.

"No. I mean yes, I do need someone. But it really should be Tess and no one else," he conceded quietly.

"Agreed. You do need to tell her, Alec, even if it's going to be tough on her. And Daisy too. They have a right to know what's going on with you and you have a right to share and not be alone in this." Duncan almost convinced him. "Please, don't do this to yourself. Don't be your usual closed up stubborn self, let them in." Duncan's voice was soft, urging him to do the right thing.

Hardy hummed in agreement, not wanting to articulate anything else. He peered through the window where Daisy was setting the table for tea. He smiled at the sight of her being so happy and when she spotted him he pantomimed eating cake at her. She stuck out her tongue and made a face at him. How could he ever tell her? How could he shatter her world by sharing the life threatening nature of his illness? She was still so young.

"Alec, are you listening to me?" Duncan raised his voice.

"Sorry, was distracted. We're getting ready for tea. Daisy made this secret cake, she hasn't even let me take a look at it and -"

Duncan laughed. "You still can't resist cake, can you? It's going to get you into trouble one day, just like it did back in school."

Hardy cringed. "Oi, I didn't steal the cake from the kitchen and you know that."

"Yup. You just sneaked in and ate it there instead of waiting for supper. Mrs. McLeod was ready to give you the beating of a life time if it hadn't been for yours truly taking the blame."

Hardy snorted and his lips pulled into a mischievous grin. "And of course she let you get away with it 'cause you were her darlin', always charming the women, even back then. Does Geena know about your secret love for the school matron?"

"Ah, shut it, Alec. And yes, she actually does know. 'Cause you told her right there and then, in case you forgot. Didn't deter her from sticking around though."

Hardy's grin grew wider. "I guess she was more interested in listening to Casanova than the cake thief."

They both laughed. When their laughter died down, Duncan's words were serious.

"Alec, you're my oldest friend and you know how much you mean to me. Please promise me not to be as stupid as you always are and to take care of yourself for a change. I will do anything I can to help, but you need to let me."

Hardy huffed into the phone, Daisy's scared face flashing in front of him. "Trust me, Duncan, I had my warning."

"All right then. I expect you to call me tomorrow and let me know what the deal is with the procedure and who's going with you," Duncan requested.

"Fine. I'll keep you in the loop," Hardy promised. He rubbed the back of his head. His toes were freezing and he longed for the warmth of his home. "I should get off, get back inside."

"You've been outside the whole time? Jeez, you really need to stop hiding from your family, Alec. Go eat that cake your daughter made for you and spend some time with them. I'll keep my fingers crossed you'll find the right moment to tell Tess. Call me if you need me, anytime, no matter when. I mean it."

Hardy could hear the hug in Duncan's voice. It felt good. "Thank you. I'm trying, really."

"I know you are. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye Alec."

"Bye, Duncan."

Hardy slipped his mobile into his pocket, shoving his hands next to it, and stared out into the rain. He had no idea how long he had been standing like that, when a hand on his back startled him out of his thoughts. His heart slowed and the steady dripping in front of him blurred. He blinked a few times, pulling himself together. He turned and found Tess looking worriedly at him.

"You all right?"

"'M fine, love. Just day dreaming." About death, ghosts and murdered children. The perfect past time for a rainy Sunday afternoon. He gave her a small smile, covering her hand with his.

"Come inside, Alec. You must be freezing. Daisy's prepared tea and she's finally ready to reveal the cake." Tess returned his smile and nudged him towards the door. She led him by the hand, back into the warmth of their home.

Daisy was beaming at them. She had taken out the good china and set the table with flowers. The center piece was the infamous cake.

It didn't deserve to be merely called a cake. She had outdone herself. There were multiple layers, covered with chocolate frosting which she had artfully decorated with flowers and leaves made from pink and green fondant. When she cut it and served Hardy a piece he realized the layers of chocolate and vanilla sponge cake were alternating with a berry whip cream filling. It was a piece of art.

"Oh, darlin' this is brilliant," Hardy said, pulling his daughter into an unwilling hug. He pressed a kiss on her head and breathed "Thank you" into her hair. He didn't feel one pang of guilt while devouring his piece. In fact he felt rebellious breaking all his dietary restrictions, especially when he was on his second helping. He hadn't enjoyed himself that much since the wedding and was grateful to his loving wife and daughter for giving him a day of peace and rest.

He never found the courage to tell them. Not during tea and not during supper either. Spending the afternoon together with Daisy watching movies and annoying her with his questionable choices, was a gift and he cherished every second, ignoring the nagging thoughts of doom and gloom. When he had a third piece of cake for dessert after supper, Daisy could not have been happier.

They were sitting on the sofa and Daisy was chatting on about school. Drowsiness was settling in and his eyelids started drooping. His ears perked up when she mentioned Cory again.

"So, once he's moved to London, can I visit him? I mean it would be fun, wouldn't it. I've never been and he's going to be in school and we could hang out." Her excitement was barely hidden.

"Darlin', I can't let you go to London by yourself. You're only thirteen," Hardy sighed.

"I could go with Mom," she suggested hopefully.

Hardy had no desire to go to London, but it did sting that she wanted to go with her mother instead of him. No more adventures for him and his little girl. The sadness sneaked up on him and before he knew it, it must have shown in his face.

"Or you. Or both," Daisy hurried to add when she took a look at him.

He forced himself to smile and said, "It's all right darlin'. I'm sure your mother and you would have much more fun in London without dragging your grumpy old Dad along. I don't like the crowds in the tube and I sure am useless at shopping."

"Oh, Dad. You're not. You got me that dress for the wedding and –"

"I didn't pick it. You did." He winked at her. "You've always had better taste than I. Must be your mother's genes."

Daisy grinned. "At least you listen to us. Sometimes. You could really change up that suit routine of yours. It's so stiff." She scrunched up her nose and squinted at him. "Maybe we should take you to London after all. I heard a rumor they have fashion for men there as well." It was her turn to wink.

Hardy rolled his eyes at her and got up to put the cake plate away. Daisy's face swam in and out of focus and he could feel his heart slowing down. The sudden vertigo halted his movements and the plate slid out of his numb fingers.

"Dad?" Daisy's voice rang loud in his ears when he slumped back onto the sofa. He closed his eyes to shut out the spinning and focused on breathing. Emily had said this wouldn't stop his heart, only make him pass out, so no need to get too worried. Just ride it out, Hardy, he was repeating to himself, trying to stay calm. Easier said than done, especially as Daisy was right there with him.

"Mum! Mum!" It hurt to hear the panic in her voice.

"Daisy, go get a glass of water for your father," Tess directed her calmly. Hardy's lips curled up in a small smile. Tess had always been at her most composed in time of crisis. He opened his eyes to find her worried face right by his side.

"Do you need some of those pills?" she asked quietly. Hardy assumed she didn't want to alarm Daisy.

"No. I'm fine."

She opened her mouth to protest, but he took her hand and rubbed his thumb over her palm. "It's passing. I got lightheaded standing up too fast."

It wasn't that far from the truth, only a footnote in his ever growing book of lies. His heart started to pick up steam and he felt better.

"The color's back in your face. Is that what happened in the car?" Her voice was neutral but Hardy could tell she was holding back.

He rubbed the back of his head, running his tongue over his teeth. That was answer enough for her.

"I see." Her eyebrow went up and he was well aware that she was struggling with her anger. "Where's your driver's license?"

"In my wallet. Why?" He was confused.

"Because I'm confiscating it. Officially. I don't trust you not to do something stupid that would endanger you and others." She stood, towering over him.

Hardy was taken aback. How could she do that to him? How could she think this lowly of him, feel that he was of such poor judgment? Because you've done precisely what she accused you of, you bloody idiot, he answered his own question.

"What's going on?" Daisy had come back with the water and scrutinized her parents.

Tess turned to her daughter, a stern look on her face. "Daisy, why did you not tell me that the two of you almost got into a car accident the other day?"

Daisy shot a quick glance to Hardy who nodded. He hated the fact that Tess felt compelled to give Daisy a hard time over not fessing up to her mother.

"Tess, leave her alone. I didn't want to tell and it's not her fault."

"Oi, not true. I said we shouldn't because you would freak out, Mum," Daisy exclaimed. Hardy scratched his eye brow, attempting to hide from his wife's wrath. Tess was piercing him with her glare and her cheeks flushed. She sucked in some air.

"I'm not 'freaking out', Daisy. I'm fed up with you learning your father's unhealthy habit of downplaying serious issues and keeping them to himself. He's a master at that and frankly I've had enough of it. You guys do whatever you want." She turned her full attention to Hardy. "You can make your own choices however unreasonable they might be, Alec. You're an adult. Your daughter isn't. Don't forget that." And without saying anything else, Tess stormed out of the room, presumably on a quest to find his wallet.

Hardy leaned forward and ran his hands down his face. Daisy plopped down next to him.

"Bollocks," she mumbled.

"Daisy, language," he reprimanded her half-heartedly.

"Seriously? You wanna discuss swear words now?" It still surprised him every time how much indignation she could put in a few words.

"No." He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You know, your mother is right. We should have told her," he admitted.

"Why? So that she can throw a fit over it? Nothing really happened, Dad. You ran a red light, people do that," she said, shrugging her shoulders.

"We were very lucky, darlin'. You could have gotten hurt," he muttered under his breath. Now would be the time to explain to her why he had lost control to help her understand why her mother was so much more upset about it. The moment came and went, without Hardy ever saying a single word. Emily's plea to tell his family burned in his mind and he knew the day would come he'd regret his decision to stay silent. But it wasn't this day.

"She's not going to let you drive me to school tomorrow, is she?" Daisy wondered out loud.

Hardy shook his head, leaning back on the sofa. His head rested against the cushion and the thought of the next day weighed down on him heavily. He was weary and for the briefest of moments he indulged the idea of being taken off the case and letting it all go. Until Pippa's face jerked him awake.

"Dad, did you fall asleep? I was talking to you." Daisy sounded annoyed.

"Sorry." He sniffed and pressed the heels of his hands on his eyeballs.

"Go to bed, Dad," Daisy sighed.

"I will, just gimme a moment," he mumbled, barely able to keep his eyes open. He slid down onto the sofa, curling up, giving in to the weariness. He was out before Daisy could even tuck a blanket around him.

A/N: I hope that people will feel like Hardy's family (and obviously I) did… that he needed a break. And I also hope it's not too ridiculously domestic. A glimpse of how things used to be maybe? WE all know what's coming…