Scratch

Chapter 14:

Shouyou, The Real MVP

The first thing Kenma had registered hearing was a meow, drawing him out of his daze and bringing him back to Earth. Shakily and cautiously, he stood, if only to move to from the couch to the table to set down the letter opener. He wasn't entirely sure what the big deal was about that letter, but his legs were left jelly, and his mind left reeling.

For one terrifying moment, he felt the tell-tale sign of one of his emotional breakdowns. He willed the feeling to go away, as he lowered himself into the dining room table, closing his eyes. Lynn made her way onto the table, the way only cats can manage, and settled into Kenma's lap. Almost automatically, his hand reached out and began petting her smooth fur rhythmically, probably comforting her as well as himself. He sighed, both in relaxation and slight worry as the rest of his cats sat pooled around his feet, nuzzling against his ankles.

A few minutes of calm familiarity later, Kenma opened his eyes as he noticed the feeling in the pit of his stomach had changed. For a second, he couldn't recognize how it had differed from the one mere minutes earlier, but when Sugar meowed and pawed at him, the answer came randomly to him. But maybe it wasn't an answer, almost more of a reminder.

Shouyou.

Lost in the confusion of the letter that had been left for Kenma, he had forgotten to think about the person this probably affected most. Feeling slowly came back to his legs, and he carefully lifted Lynn so he could stand. He winced and ignored the weird prickly feeling that shot up his right leg, and hobbled to the door, determined to see if his best friend was okay.

He paused at the door, leaning on his left leg to lessen the prickling in his other leg, and told himself to slow down. His therapist had told him multiple times that his own mental health and stability came first, and it was unhealthy to ignore something like that. Grabbing the doorknob tightly, he held on tight to keep both his body, and mind stable, and carefully considered the situation.

So maybe Shouyou's feelings and stability weren't actually more important than his own right now, and maybe it wasn't exactly healthy to care more about someone else than himself, but they were friends. They were friends: he wasn't about to leave a friend behind. Shouyou had stuck with him when he stuttered, or when he was unable to express a thought correctly. He even took one of the kittens.

Kenma needed to check on his friend, who knew what he was actually feeling, or what was going on with him. But at the same time, Kenma needed to stay true to himself. He had worked for years to get to the point that he only had the occasional emotional break down, or bad day. Even during the bad days, he knew it wouldn't last forever, he just had to get through it. To get to that point, it was incredible. It took him so many sessions of therapy to realize that his needs definitely should come first, and that he was good enough for happiness.

When he realized that checking on his friend would in turn make himself feel better, he loosened his grip on the doorknob. With the door open, he took the first step and all the anxiety slipped away, and at once, Kenma knew he could visit Shouyou. He knew it was okay, he was being a good friend, and he knew how to take care of himself too.

He wasn't a complete failure as an adult.

With as much confidence as he could possibly muster, he closed the door behind him and barged over to Shouyou's apartment. He briefly glanced at the apartment in the middle, now deserted and lonely, and felt something akin to sympathy. Shoving the thoughts from his head, he banged on the door, knowing that Shouyou was a heavy sleeper, and he might have already been asleep considering it was nearly midnight.

He waited a few seconds, tapping his feet with slight nervousness and refrained from knocking again.

When Shouyou finally answered the door, Kenma let out a breath he didn't know he was holding: his friend didn't seem too upset. No dark circles under the eyes, no eyes red and puffy from crying. He was even smiling his normal smile, nothing fake about it, except for the fact it was slightly softer. Understandable, though, he probably had been asleep.

Dressed in an over-sized t shirt and a pair of shorts with paint stains, Shouyou stood in the doorway. His hair was completely disheveled, different locks of hair sticking up wildly, and he rubbed at his eyes while he yawned. Although he was smiling, it was obviously that he was caught off guard and wasn't sure as to what was going on.

"Kenma," Shouyou acknowledged, yawning again, but this time attempting to stifle it. He ran a hand through his already messed up hair, and scratched his scalp. Watching his friend carefully, he smiled gently and stepped aside to let him in.

"I'm sorry I woke you," Kenma apologized as he slipped past his friend, into the apartment. Shuffling his feet until he entered the living room, he turned around to face his friend. He bit his lip, the nerves coming back, before taking a deep breath. "I need to talk to you about Kageyama."

"Tobio?" Shouyou asked, slightly surprised. "What about him?"

"Well…" he trailed off, eyes downcast. Coughing, he glanced back up, but averted his eyes again. As if explaining everything, he simply mumbled, "He left me a letter."

"He left you a letter," Shouyou echoed, nose crinkling. Sitting down on the couch, he stared at the floor hard for a moment, concentrating hard about something. He huffed in irritation, and leaned back, shaking his head, "I didn't know anything about that."

"Oh. Well. Did you, uh," Kenma stammered, before quickly blurting his question, "Didyoutwobreakup?"

"Oh, that?" he laughed in return, slightly smirking when a nod was given. Pulling his legs up onto the couch, he sat criss-cross style and exhaled. It seemed like Shouyou knew that they would be talking for a while. Kenma moved towards him, obeying when the red-head patted the couch, signaling him to sit down. "Yeah, we broke up. Two weeks ago, I think. It was the day you gave me Sebastian - the kitten - and Kageyama was a real jerk to you. I vividly remember your boyfriend punching him. That was pretty cool. I mean, not nice, but cool, you know?"

Kenma nodded absentmindedly, unsure of what he was really acknowledging. Nothing too terrible, he hoped, considering Shouyou had a tendency of having bad things sound not as bad. He focused on his friend again, and he continued his story.

"Well, we had an argument, different from our affectionate, teasing arguments, and I told him straight to his face that he was being a bully," he described, smiling sadly. Picking at a loose thread on his pajama shorts, Shouyou looked away, staring at the ground. "I told him it wasn't okay for him to treat my friends like that, to treat anyone like that. I remember being so upset, that I was actually in tears. Angry, disappointed tears."

"I'm sorry," Kenma muttered, barely loud enough to be heard. Looking up, he gazed into light brown eyes, and winced at the sudden pang of pity. It was obvious that he was still sad over the break up, even if he was trying to hide it.

"Don't be sorry," Shouyou dismissed quickly, "I would rather be single than be with someone that hurt my friends feelings. Actually… that's what I explained to Tobio. I said that the relationship we were in wasn't healthy, and that he needed to fix his own problems before he could possibly be in a healthy relationship."

They were quiet again, and Kenma looked up. He couldn't tell if he was finished talking, or if he was just pausing for a moment. When neither of them spoke, he murmured, "Is that it?"

"Huh?" Shouyou responded intelligently, and glanced back at Kenma. His eyes light up momentarily, signalling that he was back in reality and had remembered what he was talking about. Smiling sheepishly, he finished, "Oh, yeah, sorry, that's basically it."

"He left me a letter," he responded quietly, going back to his first point. "It explained that he had moved, and that he was extremely sorry for treating me the way he did. He even wrote that he was going to become a better person, to be worthy of you. I guess what you told him worked."

"I guess so," Shouyou breathed shakily. He looked concerned for a second, but it was quickly replaced by a smile. Punching Kenma in the arm gently, he flashed his trademark sunshine smile, and chuckled. "It was funny, you know. Usually stuff I tell him never gets through, but it definitely did that time. It was obvious, too, I could even see that he had understood what I meant. He had this really weird look on his face, like realization and melancholy. I felt bad, but it had to be done."

Kenma nodded.

"Hey, look at me a sec, 'kay?" he requested, watching his friend intently. Kenma bit his lip, but eventually agreed and looked up and made eye contact. The eyes he looked into were a beautiful shade of auburn, and were staring at him with affection and caring. He almost flinched when Shouyou reached out to touch him, out of instinct, but relaxed when it was only a soft grip on his forearm. "I will never bring another person into my life that won't respect you. Okay? I will not date, befriend or hang out with anyone that is mean to you. If, by chance, I do, I won't let them stay. Okay?"

"Okay," he agreed quietly, tempted to break eye contact. He didn't, though, and he was glad because the conversation kept going.

"I'm sorry I was such a crappy friend. I'm so, so sorry, Kenma," Shouyou confessed, his face twisted in sadness. But, like always, the sadness quickly disappeared and was replaced by determination. The sun never stayed sad for long. "I promise you, that you will never be hurt because of stupid decisions on the people I associate with. Okay, Kenma? I promise."

"Okay," he repeated. He didn't know what else to say. Or do, actually. Averting his eyes, he let himself feel proud of himself for keeping eye contact for so long. Honestly, he was overjoyed that Shouyou had admitted that. It made him feel cared for, and that wasn't exactly a feeling he was familiar with. Kenma glanced up, smiling, and sputtered, "Do you wanna hug?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Shouyou replied instantly, beaming. Pulling Kenma into a big bear hug, he squeezed his friend tightly and felt better than he had in weeks. Shouyou smiled with affection as Kenma buried his face into the hug, but quickly freaked out when he felt his t shirt dampen. "Oh my god, Kenma are you okay? Why are you crying?"

He shook his head, unwilling to pull back. Chuckling, he replied a muffled, "Happy tears."

"Oh, okay, good," Shouyou breathed, relieved. Honestly, he was scared he had said something mean or offensive, but was glad that it was only tears because of overwhelming happiness. He patted Kenma's back, and smiled gently at him, ignoring the tear streaks, when they pulled apart.

"Thank you."

"For what?" he asked, confused. There was no reason Kenma should be thanking him. In fact, Shouyou was more surprised that he wasn't mad. "All I did was let you get hurt."

"But you stood up for me," Kenma sniffed, looking at his hands. He hiccuped once, twice, and smiled. "And that promise, just now. It means a lot to me."

"Everyone should be sticking up for you, like your boyfriend," Shouyou countered, smiling lopsidedly. He reached his hand out to Kenma's head, pausing for permission, and ruffled the dyed hair with fondness. Leaning forward, he swiftly kissed the crown of his head, before pulling back, with eyes twinkling. "That was pretty cool, you have to admit."

"I rather not," Kenma chuckled, "Knowing Kuroo, he would somehow hear that, and he'd be cocky for days."

The two were quiet, content with sitting in their comfortable silence. Kenma finally noticed the sleeping kitten, in a small pet bed a few feet from the couch. He had actually been wondering where the kitten was, and he felt relieved that the cat seemed well taken care of.

Nothing less from Shouyou, of course.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Shouyou's gaze darting back and forth. He looked down, taking note that Shouyou's hands were twitching nervously as well. Without turning his full attention to his friend, he reached out and put his palm on the twitching hands. They relaxed immediately, and a throat was cleared.

"Thank you, Kenma," he whispered, "For being my friend."

"I could say the same thing," Kenma replied easily, still watching the kitten carefully.

When he finally felt Shouyou's hands completely relax, he removed his hand and put them comfortable in his lap. The duo were silent again, the same relaxed and easy aura. The tension and the emotions were slowing down and dissipating, something which Kenma was thankful for.

"Hey, I just thought of this," Shouyou announced randomly, severing the silence, but not the comfort. "I've been meaning to ask you, but are your cats fixed?"

"Um," Kenma gaped, "No. No, they are not."

Shouyou burst out laughing, and tried not to fall off the couch in a fit of giggles. The look on Kenma's face was priceless, like he was so distressed he had never thought of it before. He looked like a fish!

"Maybe that's why you had a bunch of kittens," Shouyou teased, eyes glinting. Seconds later, he became unusually serious. "You should get them fixed, though, so you won't have any more kitten problems. Plus, the kittens that are already out there will have a better chance of getting a home."

"Yeah," Kenma agreed. Shaking his head, he inwardly scolded himself for being so careless. Why hadn't he gotten his cats fixed? Such a stupid mistake. He knew that Lynn couldn't have kittens, but Colin and Clyde definitely needed to be fixed. "I should probably do that, huh?"

Shouyou laughed, standing up off the couch. He offered Kenma a hand and pulled him to a standing position. Gently, he pushed his friend back towards the door. He yawned and turned to look at Kenma. "You should write that down, and then go to bed, yeah?"

Kenma nodded, answering the question, before unlocking and opening his door. They called out a mutual 'goodnight' and the two both went their separate ways.