Trigger warnings, implies possible suicide and reproduction issues.

Suicide is not happening in this chapter, or actually planned, just thought process by James, for if Harry and Hermione ever get captured by Death Eaters, as a last resort to protect the wizarding world.

Chapter 22:

Watching Hermione leave the room was hard, James's mind was reeling at everything he learned. Harry was his son! It was hard to believe that the man he'd come to know was biologically his. Hard to know that he clearly had never been there for his son. It was obvious in the way Harry interacted with him. He'd have been more hesitant becoming friends if he remembered James as a father.

Sirius had to at least be in his life at some point, it would explain why Harry seemed so hesitant on accepting Sirius's affections. Poor Sirius, knowing this James wondered if he'd ever be able to win Harry's heart. Wait should he even be wishing for his best friend success with winning his 'son's' heart? This was all so confusing!

James had seen the signs, he'd known that Harry had suffered abuse of some kind, it was as clear to James in Harry as it was in Sirius. If Sirius had been in Harry's life, how had he not realized? Could Sirius have turned out to be abusive? That didn't make sense, not just because he knew his best mate, but also from the way Harry interacted with him.

Who had raised Harry?!

Spinning towards his parents, his mind racing as anger overcame him, James was pissed! Yeah, he might have begged Hermione, but he'd just been afraid she'd leave. It wasn't just about the twins, although he didn't want to lose them, he didn't want to lose Hermione either. She brought a light into his life. One he'd been afraid he'd never feel. The light his father always claimed his mother was!

If his parents had asked him, he would have asked that they leave Harry and Hermione be. They had no obligation to change their history, but it was clear they were trying to help. His parents might have been afraid, but there was a better way to go about this! Now the two might never fully trust them.

"How could you ambush us all like this!?" he demanded, his magic sparking around him. His mother looked upset, but there wasn't even a hint of guilt on either of his parents faces. Could they not see that they were in the wrong?

"James they're family."

"I know that, but that doesn't make this right! They deserved a private conversation. Not an ambush! Merlin and Morgana, none of us deserved this ambush! You've put everyone in this room in danger. If the Death Eaters or You-Know-Who find out about them you've practically signed their death warrants!"

"None of us would betray them."

"You don't know that! You don't know what they've gone through! I don't know what they've gone through! They could have just left us all to our fates, kept themselves and Teddy safe, they didn't. They chose to try and help us stop the war. Yes, they didn't share what they know, they didn't bring all of us in, didn't open up, but you have to see there is a bigger picture here. One wrong move could lead to all of our deaths.

"To their capture by Death Eaters! What do you think would happen if they had knowledge of a potential future?! The damage they could cause!"

He didn't voice out the deepest fear he had. That if it came to it Harry and Hermione would sacrifice themselves to keep that knowledge from the Death Eaters and their master. If there was a chance they'd fight, they wouldn't go down easy, but if they didn't see a way out, they'd make the difficult choice to keep their knowledge from making the world a terrible place. They probably had some sort of backup plan prepared to sacrifice themselves with just a word or motion.

Of course, Hermione would do everything in her power to not let it come to that. Not while she was carrying the twins at least. She'd give them their best chance at life, but some fates were worse than death. He hated thinking it, but Hermione had already proven that she'd make the hard choices were necessary. She was a strong witch, but she wasn't invincible!

A hand on his shoulder stopped James before he could get deeper into his tirade or reveal his darkest fear. "Thank you for standing up for us James, even if I hate how they went about it, I can understand them wanting to know more. When I was younger a lot of things I needed to know were kept from me, it's a hard thing to try and keep things from those important to us.

"Hermione has always had my back, even when I didn't have hers. Honestly, I don't deserve the level of loyalty she shows me. I always had her to fall back on, to rely on, she had no one. Her biological parents loved her, but they couldn't help her, they didn't understand magic, Hermione instantly took to it.

"Becoming my friend meant she was in the thick of the war before it even officially started, she had to make hard choices, things she still regrets, others that haunt her because she thinks she should have regretted them. She can be ruthless at times, but it's because one of us had to. We were never able to rely on adults, we had to make a lot of tough choices from the time we were eleven. Doing things grown wizards and witches could have done but were too afraid to.

"Without talking to Hermione I'm not going to reveal much, but one thing you should understand is there was a prophecy. I was the chosen one in my timeline, the one who was destined to defeat Voldemort, Hermione hated it. Hated divination with a passion, she couldn't understand why so many people took the prophecy seriously. Why they left everything for me to handle.

"Honestly, I don't think we could have won without her. She saved me more then once, in more ways than one, she's my best friend, my sister, and the light I could always find in my darkest moments. If I came back without her, if it had just been me and Teddy, even if it had just been me, I don't know if I could have handled sticking around. Seeing so many ghosts.

"You and Lily were killed by Voldemort. My earliest memories are of your death, any time I got near a dementor, which is a lot more then you'd probably think possible, I'd hear Lily pleading for him not to kill me. You both cared more about me living then yourselves.

"A Death Eater overheard part of the prophecy and passed it on. You-Know-Who not realizing that the last bit of the prophecy meant he basically chose me, by trying to kill me. I grew up in the Muggle world, oblivious to magic, I was hated because I had magic. Hermione and our other best friend were the first two people to care for me for who I was. It was different with her though, she became my sister and mother figure in one, I wouldn't be alive without her.

"What I'm getting at, is she hasn't had reason to trust most people. If I thought she would have been able to stay out of this war, I most likely would have just taken her and Teddy and ran. Brought them both somewhere that war would hopefully never reach.

"I want this war to be over, I want Teddy to grow up without the worries I did. I don't want him to become a child soldier."

James hadn't quite thought Harry could rant like this. He'd always seemed like such a calm man, his strong emotions always having to do with his love for Hermione and Teddy. Now however James could see the shadow of the soldier, the warrior, the savior, that Harry had to be.

His heart hurt knowing he didn't even know one percent of what the two of them had been through. James had always had his parents, people he knew he could trust with anything, who would do anything for him. Merlin they'd taken Sirius in because he was James's best friend, treating him like another son, never showing any sign that they regretted it. Never making Sirius feel like he meant less to them then James did. Only reason they hadn't officially adopted Sirius is because the Blacks wouldn't let them. It was fine for them to kick him out, but Merlin forbid that Sirius get to be happy in the family of his choosing.

The raw pain on Harry's face, hidden behind his convictions, just showed how much he'd lived through. Harry was good at acting, at putting on a happy face, but there was always that shadow of pain underneath, only truly lightening when he was with Teddy and Hermione.

Knowing that Harry hadn't had a happy childhood, James could understand why he was so fiercely protective of his godson/adoptive son. Could see why Harry wanted to ensure that Teddy never knew the pain he had suffered. Why despite his age he'd accepted raising Teddy as his own. He'd probably seen himself in the little boy, wondering what his life could have been like if someone who truly cared for him had raised him.

It was easy to see why Hermione was so afraid of this getting out. She was afraid for Harry, Teddy, and their unborn children. With how stubborn she was James doubted she was afraid for herself, she probably never allowed herself to be afraid of her own future. Always needing to keep herself strong to protect those she cared for. He wanted her to be able to lean on him. With everything that happened tonight, James was afraid that he was going to suffer setbacks in his quest to win her heart.

"I'll learn occlumency, I'll work hard to make sure I'm not a liability for you two. Would you help me with that Auror Moody." It should have been a question, but James made sure the older man didn't have any doubts it was a demand.

Glaring at him, just as angry at him as he was his own parents. How could he have allowed them to ambush his granddaughter like this? Out of everyone here, the older Auror knew just how dangerous war was. He seemed so protective of her. Mad Eye must have known that she wouldn't take kindly to this kind of confrontation!

"It will be hell to learn, by the end of it you won't have any secrets from me. I'll be breaking your mind again and again, to the point you'll be begging me to stop."

"She's worth it. No, not just her, all of their, no all of our, lives are worth it, I'd be willing even if I wasn't in love with Hermione."

The thought of any of the Death Eaters or Voldemort himself learning they were from the future was terrifying. James knew it was unlikely they'd get a quick death. They'd become prisoners, tortured to an inch of their sanity, but never over the edge. Voldemort would want the knowledge they had. Would want to use them until they were worthless to him.

If he wasn't right about Hermione and Harry's last resort plan.

Harry would probably end up the first to die. He wouldn't have as much knowledge for Voldemort, but knowing Hermione's love of learning she could know so many things he'd find interesting. New magic that might be created in the future. Secrets he could use to control his enemies get them onto his side, at least those who's blood he thought was worth saving. It was why Sirius was still alive. Voldemort had tried to recruit James and Sirius multiple times, their magic, and their blood making them prime targets.

"You know there is one thing we need, we need a way to get ahold of the Malfoy's, without tipping off the Death Eaters we've been in contact with them. I think they can be beneficial to us. Don't act on your own. Do not bring anyone into this without consulting me first. I don't need Hermione being overwhelmed, she has too much to deal with already. You want to help? Prove to me we can trust you to not go off the plan. To not think you know who to trust better then us. The Order was betrayed more than once, Dumbledore's trust isn't always placed in the best individuals, neither is any of yours for that matter."

Not giving anyone a chance to say another word Harry left. James really hoped he'd gone to check on Hermione. At the moment she would probably refuse anyone other than Harry and Pip. He'd have to make sure to ask Pip to send her up some food afterwards, plus to keep a close ear out for if Hermione needed anything.

"James, I know you're angry, but we were just trying to do what was right."

"Right for who? You, them, or the Greater Good. I hate that term. I've always hated it, sounds too much like Grindelwald's stance. Logically the life of one outweighs hundreds, but in my heart, I can't hurt others to reach my goal. It's one thing fighting, potentially killing, Death Eaters. It's another when it's someone on the same side as us. I know it's naïve thinking. I know we're in a war, but I still wish we didn't have to use dirty methods to win it. I want to be able to live with myself once this is all over."

Seeing how much Harry and Hermione tried to hide how they suffered, James knew he would be changed by the end of all of this. He was already changing. So many of his classmates, their families, so many other people, had died already. Meaningless death, all because a madman wanted to control the wizarding world.

How could his followers not see it? If it was truly about pureblooded superiority he wouldn't kill old families, those who had the longest history in wizarding Britain. They'd be doing everything in their power to make sure no pureblood died. Instead, they were hastening the end of their blood purity by killing indiscriminately. Many of those who had died hadn't even been fighting against Voldemort, they'd just refused to get involved in this war.

Voldemort ruled by fear. All, but the most insane of his followers feared him. Some of them must have only joined because they feared death. Not even being one of his followers protected them. If they displeased Voldemort they risked death.

Protecting innocent lives was the reason James had decided to become an Auror. He didn't want to be sitting on the sidelines as people died. James wanted to be able to say he'd done everything he could to bring Voldemort down. That was also why he'd joined the Order of the Phoenix, even knowing that being part of the organization could get him arrested. The Ministry didn't agree with the Order stepping in, they believed that they had everything in hand. That they would bring the madman down once and for all. It was ridiculous, considering that most of them wouldn't even get involved in the fight, unless if their own lives were on the line.

```````Harry's POV````````

He didn't immediately go to check on Hermione, Harry needed a bit of time to calm down himself. He was angry that James seemed to be the only one to understand their side of things. Harry could understand why Dorea and Charlus had confronted them, understood not wanting to be in the dark, but he also knew that sometimes it was best to remain in the dark.

When he, Hermione, and Ron had been hunting horcruxes, the first time, he knew that it had to be kept to a small amount of people, that it was dangerous for Voldemort to know what they were doing. He would have either hidden all of them, making sure they'd never see the light of day again, or he might have decided to make more.

They'd been lucky when Voldemort realized they'd stolen the cup that the diadem had been the only unknown horcrux one left, lucky that he'd decided to go after his second, to his knowledge, remaining horcrux, instead of trying to make at least one more. That he'd brought Nagini with him instead of having her moved somewhere safe, where they would have never been able to find her.

At one point in time, he'd been angry that Dumbledore had kept him being a Horcrux from him. That his life had been a gamble. However, he'd realized that Dumbledore had been right to make sure Harry didn't know until the very end. If he had, Voldemort would have locked him up as a prisoner, not wanting to have a piece of his soul destroyed, even if it meant keeping his enemy alive.

With the connection Harry had once held with the future Voldemort, it would have been all too easy for the man to find out Harry was a Horcrux as well. Luck had kept him from realizing until it was too late what they'd been doing. However if he'd found out sooner, he'd have killed Hermione and Ron, but kept Harry as a caged bird. Finding a way to bind Harry's will, to make it so he'd never be able to go against him.

Too many lives had been lost in the final battle, but Harry knew a lot more would have been lost if Voldemort had been able to come back again.

Now they were stuck doing it all over again. So far Harry hadn't seen the Voldemort of this time, he wasn't even sure how many horcruxes he had at this point. Only knowing that this time Nagini and Harry himself wouldn't be an issue.

Harry was still terrified that somehow, despite his horcrux being removed, that he'd still have a link to Voldemort, that the first time they locked eyes in this time they'd be reconnected. That he'd forever be stuck in the loop. That he'd always be the only one who could take Voldemort down.

When they'd come back, he'd been certain he'd have Hermione's help. Now she'd still help, but she couldn't get too close. It would be too risky with her being pregnant. Neither of them had even considered the fact that she'd be unable to help. Harry knew Hermione had still been shocked about her pregnancy, that she hadn't even allowed herself to truly reflect on the damage Bellatrix had left on her but had still thought a pregnancy was impossible. The twins were a miracle to Hermione, even if she wasn't even willing to admit it to herself.

From his first year at Hogwarts, Harry had always known Hermione would have his back, even when they fought, he knew if he was in danger, she'd do anything to protect him. It had led to a lot of jealousy from Ron, their best friend had never been able to understand that they only saw each other as siblings. Always thinking that they'd leave him behind. He'd been right in a way, just not how he thought, they had left him behind in the future. Harry could only hope that this time Ron would have a happier life.

"Pip," he waited for the house elf to appear, sad to see her wringing her hands as she did. Pip was a sweetheart. It had probably been hard for her to hear them arguing. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, yes Master Harry. Pip be's fine. Pip just been keeping a eye on Missy Min and Master Sirius's younger brother Mr. Reg."

"If you're sure. Can you tell me where Hermione is please?"

"Missy Min is sitting with Mr. Reg. She seemed very angry. Pip doesn't like seeing Missy Min angry."

"Neither do I Pip. I'm going to go and check on her. If you'd like a way to help, if she hasn't asked for one yet, when she gets really stressed, she likes having peppermint hot chocolate. It calms her down. If you can find one add a candy cane in it too, please Pip."

"Right away Master Harry."

Having a way to help seemed to make the sweet house elf brighten right back up. At least he'd been able to help one person today.

`````Hermione's POV``````

"You don't need to hover in the doorway Harry, I'm not mad at you."

"How do you always know?" he asked. Hermione could practically hear the grin in Harry's voice. Even without looking at him. At least it seemed he wasn't too close to a full-blown blow out. His magic was surprisingly calm.

Watching Regulus breathing in his magically induced sleep, had helped calm her. Just seeing him alive reminded her that they were making changes.

Of course, that didn't mean she wasn't still royally pissed. It just meant that she was able to accept why the Potters and her grandfather had decided they were done waiting. They'd lived through too much death already, remembering Grindelwald's reign of terror, losing so many friends, that they'd lost patience.

That didn't mean she was letting them off the hook. They needed to keep level heads, all of them, if they truly wanted to succeed in taking down Voldemort.

"Just powers as your best friend/sister. Don't tell me how things went after I left. I just need some peace for a little while. Too much stress isn't good for the twins."

"Of course. I'll just sit with the both of you then."

It seemed Pip was waiting for Harry to sit down, since she popped into the room at that exact moment, a tray with two steaming mugs and sweets in her hands. She used her magic to move a table in between them, placing the tray down, without a single motion. It seemed House Elves magic didn't even need movement to activate at times.

"Missy Min must have some snacks, Master Harry said Missy Min be's liking Peppy Hot Cocoa, so Pip make sure to make some. Pip hopes Missy Min enjoys."

"Thank you Pip. This was exactly what I needed." She really did love the house elf.

"Pip be leaving now. Calls if you need anything."

As always, she didn't allow them to say goodbye to her. Pip was probably still busy with finishing up last minute preparations for the wedding.

It was still hard to believe that soon she'd be Hermione Potter and not because she'd agreed for Harry to formally adopt her into his house, he'd asked her before they came back to the past. Harry had wanted to make her legally his sister, in politics, not just magic, so the old stuffy lords and ladies couldn't argue their connection.

Now she was glad that they'd never gone through with it. It was odd enough marrying James when it was just a magical bond. If it had been a legal magical adoption, it would have made her a Potter by magic, instead of only Harry's sister. The bond they had, hadn't included his house magics, a legal magical adoption would have.

Which would have made a relationship with James impossible. Actually, the house magics would have made sure they'd never found each other attractive in the first place!

Even if it wasn't what she'd planned, Hermione wouldn't change the twin's conception for all the riches in the world. She was glad she was going to be a mother.