Stan walked slowly out of the school. Today was the day he was going to hang out with Wendy. He didn't know how this day was going to go, either he was going to fall in love with her or his best friend, Kyle. Stan took a deep breath, not knowing which one was better. He just didn't know why it had to be between these two people. Both were longtime friends, more or less, and he didn't want to ruin his friendship with either of them. Stan did like Wendy, he felt she was a nice person to be friends with, but not a relationship type.

"Hey Stan! Ready to go?" Wendy asked heading up to his car, "I'm so excited!" Stan though wasn't as excited as her.

"I guess. Tweek Coffee, right?" He asked her making sure.

"Yup, their stuff is so good. Something about it keeps me hooked," Wendy said while Stan rolled his eyes. Girls and their coffee shops baffled him. She started telling Stan about her favorite coffee's with a whole bunch of words he didn't understand. After her long explanation of coffee, tea, and French pastries, they arrived at the coffee store. As they walked in Stan waved to Tweek, who just responded with a noise and twitch. They walked up to the counter to order.

"Uh, I'll have a hot chocolate," Stan said first to Tweek's parents working at counter. He didn't like coffee or tea all that much, but hot chocolate was a whole different story. Plus now it was getting colder in their little town of South Park, a little heat could really warm him up.

"And I'll take a vanilla mocha Frappuccino, please," Wendy asked kindly to the barista. Stan laughed to himself at her fake kindness, but surprisingly understood what she ordered. Stan paid for the drinks since he'd feel bad if he made Wendy pay. Once they got their drinks, they sat in at a small two person table in the corner. "So Stan, what have you been doing lately in your life?" Wendy asked him taking a drink.

Stan was quiet for a few seconds not even knowing what he has been up to. There was plenty of things going on that he did not want to share at the moment. So he went with a casual answer. "Same old, same old. I haven't really done much with myself," Stan admitted.

"Huh. I see," Wendy took another sip of her coffee. "Are you joining basketball again this year? Is Kyle?"

Stan flinched at Kyle's name, "I don't know, as far as I know we are. I'm kinda thinking about quitting."

"Why?"

"It just gets old after a while, throwing and tossing a ball around," Stan laughed.

"I guess you are right. I'm kind of feeling the same way about dance. All the girls are annoying in it too. I wish Bebe was still in it, now I have all these preppy bitches that I don't want to talk to. And the stupid freshmen! Ugh, I hate them all," Wendy ranted on and Stan was listening the whole time.

"Yeah, the freshmen in basketball suck this year too. Our team is just down falling, I'm pretty sure we are going to lose this year. Quitting might be a good idea. If Kyle quit, I'd quit for sure. He'd probably do the same if I have it up."

Wendy spoke with a laugh, "Who needs sports anyway."

"Dance isn't even a sport," Stan said giving her a look.

"Excuse me!" She yelled at him. "Let's see you remember five different routines and then perform them without any flaws! In your sports you can make flaws and get back in. In dance screw up once and you've lost it for them team."

Stan didn't speak for a moment, because he knew she was right. "Alright. You win that round."

"You can't argue with me Stan, I always win," Wendy boasted with confidence.

"Sure you do," He said back with sarcasm and taking a drink of his hot chocolate.

"So, you have a girlfriend yet, Stan?" Wendy questioned him with pure interest.

"No," Stan answered simply. He wanted to leave this subject as fast as it started.

"I see," Wendy said back to him thinking," Any girls in mind or?"

"Uh," Stan didn't know how to respond. He didn't want to give Wendy any ideas, but he also didn't want to tell the truth to her. Last thing he needed is for her to think he's gay and tell the whole school. "No, I don't like anyone right now. What about you?" Stan asked her, not knowing if it was a good question or not.

"Well, my last boyfriend and I just broke up a few weeks ago. And no Stan, that's not why I am hanging out with you okay. We just haven't talked in a while," She said looking at him. Which that thought did cross his mind when she said it, that she was trying to make her ex jealous or something. As far as Stan knew she could be lying. "Anyways, I don't have anyone in particular. I'm thinking about settling down now, you know? I've been in like, five different relationships in the past year. I'm so done with it," She ended while staring down at her hands around her coffee. Stan just nodded in understanding, he was a bit surprised she said only five relationships though. He heard she was in a lot more, but rumors get spread around school so easily. He also knew better than to bring them up and worry her.

"You'd want a ride home, right?" He asked, thinking it would be nice of him.

"Yes, that would be so kind of you," She said mocking him.

"Keep that up and you won't get a ride home," Stan smiled at her and she smiled back. The vibe of the conversation started to lighten up again. They finished their drinks and Stan drove her home. Once they got to her house she spoke up.

"You are going to walk me to my door right?" Wendy asked.

"Why? It's like 3 feet, you aren't going to get mugged," Stan replied to her in actual confusion.

"Stan, walk me to my door," She demanded him. He let her win again.

"Fine, fine," He said he got out of his car and walked Wendy to his front door. She unlocked the house door and looked back at Stan. Then he realized what was about to happen. Wendy leaned into him and kissed him on the lips. Stan stood there in daze, he did not deepen the kiss or anything. He felt no sparks, it just felt bare and cold. Once her lips left his he put on a quick, fake smile. Even though he did not enjoy the kiss whatsoever he didn't want to seem rude.

"See you later Stan," Wendy smirked at him and walked inside her house.

Stan walked back to his car and sat in it for a few minutes, thinking about what just happened. He knew he didn't like Wendy and that the kiss didn't feel right. Stan knew what this meant and how he really feels. It felt like something had taken over him. He got out his cell phone and texted Kyle asking if he could come over. Stan didn't know if he should tell Kyle the truth, or just some. He didn't want to scare his best friend or force a weird relationship on to him by admitting he liked him. Kyle texted him back quickly.

Yeah of course cant wait for all the details ;)

Stan thought to himself, "All the details of how I'm gay and want to make out with you." He sighed and started driving over to his friend's house. The anxiety was making him feel sick to his stomach. Taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He didn't know if he was making one of the biggest mistakes of his life or not. This could change their friendship forever. Once he got to his Kyle's house, he looked up at it. It looked scarier than other time before.

Stan walked up to it and knocked. Kyle's mom opened the door and let him in. He walked upstairs, Kyle's bedroom door was open. Stan went in closing the door and sat on his friend's bed while Kyle was sitting in a chair at his desk.

"So, what all happened?" Kyle asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well," Stan took another deep breath not knowing what words were going to come out of his mouth, "We went to Tweek coffee and got some drinks. After we were done, I drove her home. So she asks if I can walk her to the door, and you know why girls do that. Which I should have expected it, but I didn't, and she kissed me."

"Boy, that's a lot of action. I was rooting for you to get some more though. Oh well, you guys, boyfriend-girlfriend then?" Kyle asked his friend.

"Kyle, I'm gay," Stan blurted out to make the conversation go by faster and not having to worry about it, but he quickly regretted saying it. It just seemed like the logical way of saying it, instead of saying some long story.

Kyle looked at him and awkwardly laughed, "You're… you're what?" He hoped he heard Stan completely wrong.

"Kyle, I'm gay. I know for sure now, I know it's weird, but I am," Stan said to his friend in the room. No one was speaking, but both their minds were racing at light speed. "Please don't be mad at me okay," Stan spoke again looking at Kyle, who was refusing eye contact. "I know I said it randomly, but I just couldn't keep it in anymore. I had to tell you once and for all. After this thing with Wendy, I knew for sure."

"I don't know what say Stan," Kyle said with no emotion in his voice. "Uh, wow, dude. I'm pretty sure you said you weren't gay that one day at lunch."

"I guess I didn't know then? I just fully accepted it today. Plus that was Cartman's bullshit, I wasn't going to let him get away with that. I mean, I'm supposed to tell you since you are my best friend."

"Well congrats, I guess," Kyle said still not being able to face his friend.

"Kyle, please," Stan spoke moving closer to his friend. He knew how Kyle acted when he was getting upset. He'll get really quiet then explode, so Stan continued hoping to fix the feeling, "You can't do this to me, dude. Like I know it's crazy and you just had to deal with this with your brother, but it's not that bad. All it means is that I like guys okay. Kenny was understanding about it."

"Oh, you told Kenny before you told me, your best friend? I understand Stan. Is Kenny your boyfriend too?" Kyle exclaimed at his friend.

"No! Why does everyone think I'm dating one of my friends? I'm not dating anyone, and Kyle, you aren't understanding. I talked Kenny about it because you were dealing with your own problems. I told you now, which I thought you'd act a lot better about it," Stan retaliated back at Kyle, who was silent again. Stan didn't understand what was so wrong about this. He did know that if he told Kyle that he liked him, he'd probably kill something or Stan. Then Kyle spoke up again.

"Stan, leave."

"What the fuck, Kyle?"

"Stan, just fucking leave," Kyle said looking completely away from the other boy.

"Dude, come on! I haven't done anything! We can talk about this," Stan yelled feeling his eyes start to water.

"I don't want to talk about this right now," Kyle said finally looking at his friend. He could see the small tears running down the other boys face and started to feel bad. "I just, I hate these things coming out of nowhere. It really bothers me. Like, why did all this happen now? I understand it's hard for you and I'm glad you told me. I just don't know how to feel about this stuff."

"I'm sorry, this is all my fault," Stan said starting to actually cry. He had only cried in front of Kyle a few times. He couldn't even remember the last time it happened, but he felt like a loser either way. He didn't want to show these emotions, but at the same time he couldn't keep them in.

"I'm sorry too," Kyle softly said to him. "Shit. I'm so sorry, man, I didn't mean to reacted like that," he spoke again as he stood up. He didn't know to feel. It took him almost a week to get Ike to talk to him again. He could only imagine how long it would be until Stan spoke to him again. Kyle didn't mean to sound rude, it just comes out that way.

Stan also stood and they knew what to do. Kyle hugged Stan, who at first didn't move, but eventually went in to the hug. They stood there embracing each other for a good while. Stan felt like this was his chance in the warm embrace of his closest friend. Maybe now Kyle would understand and would accept Stan for who he is. So he took the chance, he kissed the boy who was his best friend. He, Stan Marsh, kiss his friend, Kyle Broflovski, on the lips. It felt completely different from when he kissed Wendy earlier. Though when they parted Stan looked in to the other boy's eyes and saw the same thing he felt when Wendy kissed him. He felt his heart sink to his feet. This was the last thing he wanted to happen. He knew Kyle did not feel the same way about him.

Kyle was very hesitant to speak, but he got the power to do so. "I asked you to leave a while ago," Kyle said quietly.

"Fuck okay, I know I just messed up, but I'm sorry," Stan started to say.

"Stan," Kyle spoke above him," Fucking leave already."

"Whatever, dude," Stan said defeated. What was the point of trying? He walked out of his friend's room and left without saying goodbye to anyone. Why did Kyle have to be a dick about it? He was Stan's best friend, then it hit him again, Stan also had a crush on him. Now his crush won't talk to him ever again. He had no one at all. Stan felt so lost with everything. Why did he have to kiss him? Everything was going fine towards the end, then he fucked it up. Stan knew this was all his fault and Kyle had nothing to blame himself on. He had been the one who forced Kyle to do something. He got home and threw his phone on his nightstand. The phone lit up with a text and Stan quickly checked it, hoping it was Kyle.

Today was nice stan thanks 3

The text was from Wendy, which only made Stan more upset.

fuck off

He knew that probably wasn't the best thing he could have texted her, but he didn't want to speak to her again. This was her fault, for the most part. Stan started blaming everyone, but the only person he really hated the most was himself. Everything was getting worse and the only person to blame was himself. He tried pushing the blame on people like Wendy and Kyle. If Wendy didn't have to kiss him and Kyle didn't need to be a dick, but Stan didn't need to kiss his friend and should have just listened to him in the first place.

Kyle on the other hand couldn't even explain how he felt. He didn't understand what just happened. His friend comes over, says he's gay, and kisses him. Kyle wondered why this had to be. None of his friends had been gay before. The Ike thing threw him for a loop, now his best friend was a homosexual too? Who was next? Kyle sighed, he didn't even want to know the answer to that. He knew he had been a total dick to Stan and he regretted it. Just these things got him more than anything else. Kyle didn't know why though. He thought it was perfectly fine to be gay, just the idea of it scared him. Personally he knew he was not gay himself, as far as he knew. It wasn't really his plan to date a guy.

Both boys went to bed with terrible thoughts. Thinking the other one probably hated them. It broke both their hearts knowing that their friendship was going to take some time to recover. The days went by and no words were spoken. At lunch Stan and Kyle would sit as far as they could from each other on the small table seats. Every day was more painful for Stan and it was so hard for him.

One day after school Stan decided to drive down to the lake. He thought the lake air would be good for him and just relax a bit. Stan watched the waves of the small lake roll over each other from the chilled wind. It was late fall now and winter was approaching. His body shivered and he wondered how Kyle was feeling about all of this. Maybe he was willing to talk again now. Stan picked up his phone and went to Kyle under his contacts, and figured he should try calling him. He pressed the call button and let it ring. After two minutes of ringing he hung up and felt sadness rush over him again. All he wanted was everything to be okay, Stan didn't even care if Kyle liked him or not, he just wanted his best friend. So he tried texting to see if he'd be willing to talk then. After sending the text Stan felt his eyes start to water up, and he let the tears fall.

Stan felt like he should talk to someone about this. He didn't care who, so he started texting his friends starting with Kenny. Kenny was helpful the last time, plus it would help Stan so much. Kenny texted back right away but wasn't able to hang out, because his parents wanted him to help with something. Next was Cartman, which Stan knew damn well it wouldn't help him, but figured it could take his mind of things. They could play video games, if Stan was lucky he'd make a bunch of pussy jokes and Stan would be straight again. The text back from Cartman though, did make it worse either way.

Hellll no. im hangin out w/ ur bitch wendy faggot :P

Stan nearly jumped in to the lake himself. He knew Wendy was hanging out with Cartman just to make him mad. Which is probably why she hung out with Stan in the first place, just to make the other guy jealous. He didn't know why he even gave people a chance. The depressing feelings continued when Kyle finally texted Stan back.

I dont want to talk right now sorry man, just leave me be ok.

That cut the final string holding Stan together. He could feel his body exploding with sad emotions, he was crying so hard he was having trouble breathing. He sat down on the nearby bench and tried to collect himself. He felt like the whole world was against him and no one wanted to help.

"Fuck!" Stan yelled throwing the item that was in his hand. Which he looked up to see his cellphone flying in to the wavy lake. "Fuck," He said again dragging out the word. Now he was crying into his hands. Life took such a downfall over the past week. Stan sat there looking out to the horizon, just thinking why? Everything thing was going fine until he decided to tell the one person he trusted. He spent a long time at the lake drowning in self-pity. At some point he gathered some strength to get home. Stan walked in ignoring everyone who was eating supper and went up in to his room. Last thing he wanted to do was talk to his family. Stan collapsed down in his bed and started to cry again. He couldn't keep them in no matter how hard he tried, they forced themselves out. Stan closed his wet eyes and painfully drifted off to sleep.