Dear Elena,

I think Stefan and Caroline are finally accepting their feelings for one another. They've been hanging out more often and I caught them holding hands last night. I'm happy for her.

Damon's probably drinking his ass off with Alaric somewhere. A couple days ago, he was planning on leaving Mystic Falls entirely. He's an idiot. I'm getting kind of worried. I wish you were here to keep him in check. Wait, that's stupid. If you were here, he wouldn't need to be kept in check. Never mind. I'm sorry. I'm going to stop rambling now.

Speaking of rambling, I saw Kai again a couple days ago, and something changed. It was awkward, to say the least. He asked me about it...why I had left. He wasn't upset, just curious. I think.

:::

Bonnie picks up her books and stepped out of the auditorium. One class down, three to go. She breathes in the cool October air. Footsteps crunch in the leaves behind her, and then Kai is walking beside her. She slows down, hesitating. "Hey."

"Why did you leave?" he says immediately. "You could have stayed, or - or said bye - or something."

"I - what?" She avoids the question. "You were asleep. I didn't want to wake you up."

"Look, I get it - you're scared," he says suddenly, and she stops in her tracks. "Of getting hurt. But you can't just run."

:::

It scares me so much, Elena, how well he already knows me. How much control he has over my actions. How much I think about him every day. I've never felt this way about anyone before him. Even Ben or Kol didn't make me feel this way. And you know how crazy I was about Kol.

:::

"I don't run," she bites back, raising her chin slightly. Something flashes in Kai's eyes, something she is desperate to define. He steps closer. Bonnie's heart pounds against her chest, and as she stares into his eyes, she wonders if he knows how nervous he is making her.

"Okay, so you weren't running from something when you switched your major to psychology?" he questions. "You weren't running when you turned me down? Or when you left me in the middle of the night?"

"It was our first date!" Her voice rises in disbelief. "That wasn't running, that was common sense!"

"I'm just saying, you missed out." The corners of his mouth tilt up. "I make an amazing cheese omelette."

:::

But at the same time, he's so confusing. One second, he is demanding something from me, giving me this look that makes me want to give in. And then the next, he's flirty and confident and sure of himself. And then, the most confusing thing of all: I really like him.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

:::

There is a slight pause.

"I'm sorry," Kai lowers his voice. "I didn't mean to say all that."

Bonnie swallows. "Okay."

"I just...can I talk to you?"

"Isn't that what we're doing right now?" she points out.

He considers this. "Okay. Somewhere more private."

She bites her lip and thinks, I am so going to regret this. "Do you want to come with me to my dorm?"

The walk is quite yet comforting. Bonnie tries to relax, to clear her head, but his hand swings forward and touches her and there is fire running through her veins and blood rushing to her cheeks - and suddenly, he presses their palms together and entwines their fingers. She falters for one second and right then, she is aware of everything around her: the enticing scent of Kai's cologne, the pressure of his hand around hers, the wind blowing through her hair, and him, him, him, him, him, him.

She turns to steal a glance - the sun is lighting up his ocean-blue eyes and he is looking forward, a small smile on his lips - and in that moment, she knows.

:::

Thing is, he likes me, too.

:::

"So, talk," Bonnie prompts.

"I have a speech," Kai warns. "No interrupting."

"Okay," she laughs, because it is all so, so ridiculous. Since when was she the girl with the beautiful boy in her dorm, the girl with butterflies in her stomach when said beautiful boy looked at her in a certain way?

"Promise me," he insists, and she blinks, breaking out of her thoughts.

"I promise," she says.

"Okay, here goes. This is probably super cliche or something, but at this point, I really don't care." Kai exhales, tapping his fingers on the side of his thigh. "The first time that I saw you...you were rushing into class. Second day of the semester and you were really late. Messy hair and a bit of lotion you hadn't rubbed in fully on your face...and something in me clicked. Like, wow. She's beautiful. I want to know her. And she has," he trails off before reaching out and grasping her hands, palms up, "really nice palms."

A laugh bubbles its way out of Bonnie.

"And then we started talking, and god, you were funny and honest and still a little bit mysterious. And it pulled me in." He's looking at her in a way that is breaking her heart. "Last weekend, when you went out with me...and wearing my clothes. Shit, you don't know how hard it was not to rip them off." His eyes are desperate now, begging her to understand. He leans in closer to her and their foreheads meet. "I don't know what's going to happen in a couple hours, or tomorrow, or next week. I don't know that I'll never hurt you. What I do know is that when I'm around you, it drives me crazy. And when I'm not around you, it drives me crazier. You drive me crazy."

She looks at him, and when she speaks, her voice breaks. "I don't think I can - "

"I just wanted to tell you. I needed you to know. And now you do," he confesses, and it's too quiet. The tone of his voice is heavy with emotion - it strikes Bonnie as wrong. She is used to happy-go-lucky Kai, with his annoyingly cheerful attitude and his love for raspberry jam. This, this is strange.

"I don't know what to say," she whispers.

"Then don't say anything at all," she hears. It is hard to remember who leans in first. But with all that happens afterward, it doesn't matter. Not really, anyway.

:::

There's more, but I'll write it tomorrow.

Love,

Bonnie

A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger...well, no. Not really lol. You'll have to wait until next week to find out what happens.

I had to mention Kennett somehow in this lmao. And Kai's speech aaaah. Why couldn't it have happened in the show like this?

Please review! I love you :)