Despite drifting off feeling the best he had in weeks, the darkness fighting to take hold of Harry snuffed out the joy and peace in the sleeping boys mind.

Images of his broken and crippled classmates strewn across the Hogwarts ground filled his mind. Dumbledore falling to his end. Sirius rising into the veil. The last connection to his parents, Remus, laying agonisingly close to his eternally sleeping wife, never to hold each other again.

Those eyes, that will forever be etched into Harry's mind, staring into his soul. Turning it black and rotten. While Harry's soul might not have been split like Tom Riddle's, it was now cracked and scorched and no light escaped from it.

The horrible thoughts merged and mutated until the scenes in his mind turned too evil and horrible to bare. He could no longer tell who was doing the evil acts in his mind but he could find no sign of Voldemort anymore. The darkness was engulfing him.

The young wizard was eventually pulled from his spiral by sounds coming from the kitchen of the Burrow.

Harry still on high alert from the time on the run, jolted upright on the couch. Drenched in sweat and tears, heart pounding out of his chest.

The room was significantly darker from when he drifted off to sleep. The fire, now just glowing embers, barely illuminating the room with an orange glow.

Ginny and himself must have eventually separated in their sleep, as she was now curled up on the corner of the couch wrapped in a knitted blanket.

As Harry sat looking at the scene, with the sound of his blood pumping in his ears, he realised he was gripping his wand so hard that his hand was cramping up. A symptom of being on the run for months.

Then he heard the noise again. His wand automatically pointed in the direction on pure reflex.

'This can't be happening', thought Harry. Not here not now.

Harry quickly manoeuvred himself between the noise and Ginny. Quickly surveying the rest of the room before leaving Ginny's side to move towards the noise. Harry's brain had shifted to attack mode. He was not going to let anything happen to the sleeping redhead.

He inched closer to the kitchen ready to curse, or worse, whoever was here to hurt the people he cared about most. He turned into the kitchen and faced the intruder.

"Harry?! Woah! What's wrong?"

A shocked, and now terrified, Mr. Weasley stood frozen at the kitchen sink. Hands now slightly in the air to show he was no threat.

Although Harry was now looking into the eyes of the man that had been a father figure to him for years, he still did not lower his wand. His mind was racing and was still in attack mode.

'This isn't Mr. Weasley. It's a Death Eater pretending to be him. It's still a threat. Take him out.'

Both stood locked in position. Arthur's cautious eyes staring into Harry's now frenzied eyes.

The stand off seemed to last much longer than the seconds that had actually passed.

"Harry, it's okay. You're safe. The house is safe. We're all safe. They can't get us here."

Arthur spoke as softly as he could. He could see the fear and terror in the young wizards eyes. He still did not dare to move.

At Arthur's words, Harry's body language shifted and his eyes began to seem almost desperate. Desperate to believe what he was being told, or desperate because he didn't trust it, Arthur couldn't tell which it was.

"How do you know?! How do I know!?"

"The wards are still up Harry. The house is still safe. No one can get in the property. Bill made sure when we got back."

As he spoke, Harry's mind was racing and he couldn't handle it anymore. He dropped his wand and held his head in his hands.

"I'm.. I'm sorry Mr. Weasley. I can't turn it off."

Arthur physically relaxed when the boy in front of him dropped the wand. And now there was only concern for his adopted son.

"What can't you turn off Harry?"

"My brain. It's making me crazy. I can't shut it off. I don't want to think anymore, I don't want to remember. Any of it. All of it. I want it to be blank. A clean slate. I want to go back to before all this started."

Arthur stood silent for a moment looking at the boy he had taken into his home and looked at like one of his own.

He turned back to the kitchen counter after a few moments of contemplation.

"Have a seat Harry."

Harry looked up from his hands confused at the request from Mr. Weasley. He looked over at the older wizard who was now pulling something out of a cupboard. Arthur now starting moving to another cupboard and looked over at the stationary Harry.

"Come on, sit with me. Please."

Harry bewildered made his way to the kitchen table and sat down as Arthur picked up something else and turned back to the table and sat himself down at the head of the table beside Harry. In the dim light of the kitchen Harry hadn't seen what Mr. Weasley was taken out of the cupboards, but as he set them down on the table he realised that he had retrieved two glasses and a bottle of clear liquid.

Arthur sat without a word and began pouring two glasses of the mysterious liquid out for the two of them.

He must have noticed the confused look of his face because he began to explain.

"It's a liquor similar to Firewhiskey… only a little bit stronger. You probably won't find this at the Three Broomsticks."

"Incase of emergencies", he said as he flashed a small grin at Harry.

"Have a drink with me son."

So Harry did. He took a small sip of the clear liquid, immediately realising Arthur underplayed how much stronger this was that Firewhiskey. But he tried not to react as he swallowed, relishing the burning sensation as it went down. The pain brought him some sense of relief.

They sat in silence drinking. After they had finished the glass, Arthur immediately poured out another two measures. And they continued.

It was unsurprisingly Arthur who broke the silence between the two.

"I don't know much about trying to forget things from our past. But I've done this with all my other sons when they were having a hard time and it seems to help, to just sit and try and look at things from a different view point."

"Thank you Sir."

"Harry, I think we've gone past this Sir' and 'Mr Weasley' nonsense, don't you. You are a part of this family and have been for a long time."

Harry just looked down at the half empty glass in front of him, seemingly examining it very closely.

"It must have been unbearably tough out there. And I know there's going to be some moments that you will want to forget, that's obvious."

Arthur finished with a sigh and looked at Harry. The pity for this poor unfortunate boy and the anger for the world that caused this, flashed on Arthur's face briefly before he composed himself again.

"What got you through it?"

Harry was taken aback by the question. So far people had only been concerned with what had happened and what he had done.

"I'm.. I'm sorry?"

"To go through something like what you three have just gone through, there must have been something that kept you going out there. We all know that you did it because it was the right thing to do. But wanting to do the right thing only sets you on the path. Seeing it through and finishing what you set out to do, you need something that is pushing you on and that you know is still worth fighting for. Otherwise, when things get tough, and there's nothing left to fight for, giving in and taking the easy option is just too tempting. So what kept you fighting?"

Harry's mouth was left slightly agape by Arthur's reasoning and his head began hang lower as Arthur took another big sip of the burning liquid.

Harry thought about his response for what seemed like forever. Arthur sat patiently not wanting to push the young wizard, clearly on the brink, in front of him.

The candle weakly illuminating the room flickered and the only sound was Arthur occasionally sipping his drink.

After several minutes staring at the edge of the table in-front of him Harry finally found his voice.

"At the start I thought I was doing it for my parents. And Sirius. And Dumbledore. And cause I thought it's what I was supposed to do. But.."

Arthur did not interrupt as Harry looked for the words.

"But I realised pretty soon that I wasn't doing it for them. I love them all, but they're gone and I can't do anything about it. But I could still try and save and help the people still in my life that I love. Like Ron and Hermione, Remus, you and Molly and your family… And maybe naively, I was doing it for the thought of a future. One where everything was okay and I could be happy and somehow get back with…"

Harry trailed off at the end as he suddenly felt very aware as to who he was talking to. The burning sensation immediately moved from his throat to his cheeks which were now scarlet.

Arthur, to his credit, seemed to be willing to gloss over that last comment and proceeded to not mention it, which Harry was incredibly thankful for.

"Well then, I'm glad you had something that meant that much to you which kept you going out there. And, if you ask me, having that in your life is definitely something worth remembering."

Arthur sighed again and no longer looked like the calm man trying to reassure one of his children. He now looked like a man who was no longer able to hold back the heartbreak of the tragedy that had befallen him and his family.

"Harry. The tragedy and heartache we all feel right now is crushing and we're going to have to carry around those burdens with us for some time."

The man in front of Harry looked tired and defeated. But with another sip of his drink his voice continued with the slightest hint of optimism.

"But the people we lost, they died so we could hold on and go out and live for the things that we kept fighting for. Not to be always looking back, but to look forward and enjoy the things and the people that made us strong."

"I think that is the best way we could honour them." With that Arthur seemed to finish and sit back in his chair looking aimlessly into space while taking another sip.

Harry sat still processing the words, and his head was telling him he was right but there was this feeling deep in his soul that was turning his soul and his thoughts dark.

One development that Harry was surprised at was, however, the fact that the drink was numbing him and making the pain fuzzy. This information could be useful in the coming weeks Harry thought absent mindedly.