Thanks for the kind words everyone. Glad someone is enjoying reading it. :) Here's your reward, lol.

Chapter 11 – This Bud of Love

Catherine suddenly felt the panic lift from her, to be replaced by an inexplicable sense of peace and joy. She wasn't sure how, but she just knew that it had to do with Vincent. Whatever the crisis had been, it was now over with. She relaxed into her pillow, letting the tension from the last half hour drain from her body. She reached for her phone and picked it up, just before it started to buzz. "Hey," she answered dreamily. "Everything okay now?"

There was a momentary silence. "Catherine, what did you mean when you asked me, 'what's wrong?' in your text?"

"I.. I can't explain it," she told him. "I just suddenly had this massive panic attack and I knew that it had something to do with you, but I didn't know why. What happened?"

Vincent was dumbfounded. How did she know he was upset? "I uh.. well, I saw someone I used to know is all. Or rather.. she saw me. It was rather difficult having to face her and convince her that she needs to leave me dead."

"Dr. Alex?" she asked. Vincent couldn't miss the lack of emotion in her voice. Catherine knew about Alex? Could this get any more complicated? Just when he thought he'd laid the past to rest…

"Uh.. yeah, her name is Alex. How do you know that? Catherine, what is going on with you? Can you read minds now suddenly?"

"No. She just came in my room earlier and started grilling me about you is all. She overheard Evan mention your name and she got a little unhinged, wanting to know why you were here and all."

Vincent grew very still. Almost on a whisper he asked, "What did you say?"

Catherine looked to the door to make sure it was shut before answering in a harsh whisper. "What could I say? I told her she misunderstood, that we were talking about my friend Vincent Zalanski that lives in Denver, and that I had to call him to tell him I wasn't coming out for a visit. You know… basically I lied to her, like I lie to everyone else." Ouch. She was clearly upset. He wondered if she was piecing it together what his relationship with Alex had been. She didn't leave him deliberating long. "So who is she, Vincent? Girlfriend? Lover? Wife?" She doubted the latter, but different last names didn't necessarily preclude such a relationship. She felt her defensive walls starting to rebuild themselves. She wondered if it had been premature to be so vulnerable with Vincent after all.

"Catherine, don't-"

"Don't what? Don't ask you to explain? Don't ask you who she is to you? After you and JT got upset with me for keeping something I thought was a lie from you, you think I don't have a right to be a little hurt to find out you've been keeping… this from me? After I poured my heart out to you this morning? I feel like a fool."

Vincent's heart constricted in his chest, and somewhere deep within his beast wanted to howl with frustration. He could hear the quiver in her voice as she clearly struggled to keep from crying. "Catherine, listen to me. I'm not keeping things from you. Until this morning, I had been dead to Alex for 10 years now. Never in my wildest imagination would I have thought I'd ever see her again. And the only reason I did was because of you. If I hadn't been so worried about you I wouldn't have gone near the hospital, and she never would have seen me. It's not like I went looking for her!" There was silence on the other end of the line. "Catherine? Are you still there?" Even with his super senses he barely heard her answer, "Yeah."

He was so humbled, and a little ashamed for his outburst. Gone was the rough and tough Detective Chandler that kept everyone at bay while keeping herself emotionally detached. This is what Evan had meant about her being vulnerable. He had never seen this side to her, and it shook him to the core. He felt like he was finally seeing the real Catherine for the very first time. No longer was she defiantly pushing him away to cover being hurt by him; instead, she was an open book. He found himself feeling even more determined to protect her than ever, longing to be with her so he could wrap her up in his arms and just hold her through this little storm they were weathering. Truthfully, he was also a little wary, realizing for the first time that he had the power to hurt her more deeply than anyone else in her world. And the emotional danger he posed to her was far worse than the physical. "Hey," he said gently. "I wish I was there with you right now, just holding you." He had an idea, and he wanted to test it. He closed his eyes and focused all the love he felt for her, attempting to send it her way. "Sending you a big hug right now… can you feel it?" He was gratified to hear a small gasp from the other end of the connection. He smiled. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Vincent, how-?" she whispered.

"Shh we can talk about that another time. Right now you need to understand that what Alex and I had was over a long time ago. I didn't tell you because quite frankly, I haven't thought about her in years."

Catherine was still struggling with what was going on, but the warmth and feelings of safety and love she felt herself cocooned in soothed her somewhat. Her voice was calmer when she continued. "Vincent, you said you were dead to her.. but was she dead to you? Really? Or did you just convince yourself to forget her?"

He could see why she was such a good cop. She knew how to examine a situation from every angle. It was one of the things he loved about her, yet he knew it could also cause them problems if she could never learn to turn it off and trust him. He was hopeful that would come in time. Once he was able to show her how very much he loved her. He couldn't wait for her to get out of that damned hospital bed.

"Catherine, when I first came back from Afghanistan and went into hiding, I had lost everything. In some ways, being dead would have been much easier for me. People mourned me and moved on because I wasn't there anymore. But for me, I knew they were all still there, just a phone call or visit away. It was torture for me wanting to reach out to the people I loved for comfort and support. Would it be so surprising that I would miss the woman I had planned to spend my life with?" She didn't answer, but he could hear her breathing, hear her heart beating steadily, so he went on.

"I knew, though, that I could never do that, y'know, because it would put her life in jeopardy. So I had to learn to let it go. Let her go. I'm not going to say it was easy, but here's the part you need to pay close attention to: when I saw you that first night in the woods, the night your mom died? Everything changed for me. I can't really explain it, but from that night on, my memories of Alex and my feelings for her began to change; become less painful. I could remember the times we had shared without longing to be with her any more. I know this probably doesn't make much sense to you – sometimes it confuses the hell out of me to be honest." They sat in silence for a few moments.

"Vincent, I wish you were here."

He felt the tension dissipate. "I know, I do too. But it just isn't safe. I was totally careless last night and I can't take a chance of being seen again. Too much is at stake for both of us." He paused. "And the last thing that I want to have happen is for me to be forced to disappear and leave you behind. Because I would really rather die than to be separated from you. Can you understand that?"

Silent tears streamed down her face. "Better than you think," was the hushed reply.

Vincent smiled to himself. They were going to be okay. "Just remember this: my past is just that. My past. The same as you have had other relationships. But what's important is that the only thing I want for my future is you. Nothing else matters to me, any more. Nothing."

"Same here," she said softly.

"So I'm home now, and I'm getting into bed," he told her, his voice getting husky. "Close your eyes, and imagine me curling up next to you and holding you while you sleep. Because that's what I'm going to visualize while I'm drifting off. It makes me feel like you're almost here."

Catherine closed her eyes and darned if she didn't feel warmth seeping into her from… somewhere. Her skin tingled, almost as if he was touching her cheek. She never realized she had such a vivid imagination. Who knew wanting someone so much could have this effect? "Promise me something?" she mumbled sleepily into the phone.

"Mmm..what's that?" His low rumbling voice in her ear skittered over her nerves in the most delicious way.

"Promise me when I get out of here we can do this for real."

Vincent paused, weighing the consequences of such a risky endeavor. "Shh sleep," he finally answered. "We can talk about it tomorrow." He hoped she would accept that, buying him some time to sort things out. The only response he got was her soft humming as she drifted off to sleep.