Chapter 40

They had been in Arkadia for two days. Clarke was still rummaging through what was left of the medbay. She'd found some things amazingly still in good condition. She didn't ask for a lot of help, but she didn't spend her night inside either. She wandered around the place like she was lost. Ash was there at her asking and nothing more, Clarke knew that. There were things that they needed. There were things that she needed to see...again.

Ash stayed outside the Ark for the most part, only going in when Clarke called for her to help lift something. She walked the perimeter and acknowledged that it was once a good piece of land. She hadn't seen the completed settlement, but she'd seen enough to know that the Arkers could have carved out a decent life there in Trikru. She was sure that Lexa would have just absorbed them into the clan or would have made it a single city clan, with no room for expansion without treaties with other clans. Luna would have taken one, she was sure. None of that mattered now though.

The Ark was a ruin. Like those of the old world, it stood to speak to future generations of life. Only problem was that life wouldn't be human. Ash hadn't really brought up the fact to Clarke. She didn't want to depress her more than she already was. She knew that Madi was going to have face being alone once they were both gone, too. For now though, she was letting Clarke have her fantasy. Being here was something that Clarke wanted and needed.

Ash finished her patrol around and was standing outside the main opening. She was working on a piece of medal. It was the right thickness for arrowheads. She was working them down to size. She would find rocks and other items to sharpen them down when they got to Eden. She wanted something to work with and use to hunt. She could use the rifles, but she didn't want to. She still thought that they were really too loud.

"ASH!" Clarke called out from somewhere deep inside the Ark.

The warrior looked up from her work at the opening. She was waiting for Clarke to come out, but she didn't. Her eyes searched the opening. She knew that it was dark inside because they had few windows and openings to let natural light in the structure. Clarke had explained it at one point, but it didn't make sense to her. How could they not breathe the air outside? It must have been a very cramped existence. And, to be honest, Ash hated going inside the medal building. She didn't like the way it smelled and felt. It was too loud. She could hear herself walking through all the corridors and hallways. She felt trapped and sometimes, the feeling got so overwhelming at times that it caused flashbacks about the Mountain. She didn't want to trouble Clarke with those. She knew how on edge she'd been in Becca's lab and everything that Clarke had done to help her deal with it until they dug their way out.

"ASH!" Clarke called out again.

This made her take notice. Clarke hadn't come for her, but she was calling for her. Something must be wrong. Ash jumped up. She dropped her workings and grabbed the little pack she carried and the pistol that Clarke insisted she keep when they weren't in the Rover. She barreled through the Ark until she found the place that Clarke was at.

She stopped short. They weren't in the medical wing. They weren't in Clarke's family's old quarters. She looked around. They were in a tiered area with multiple doors. She walked around the area carefully. She stopped in front of a door that was open. Clarke was inside.

She could see a window above her. The sun was beaming down into the room. Her hair was haloed, but she was was staring at the walls. As Ash moved closer to the doorway, she could see drawings all over the walls. They were beautiful landscapes and animals. There were things that Ash had never seen in her travels. She wondered what this meant and what some of the pictures were of. Clarke was standing in the middle of them all. To her left was a recessed part of the wall with some sort of cloth and a very thin pad of, Ash couldn't describe. She'd seen better in the cells that Nia gave her politcal prisoners.

"What is this place?" Ash questioned as she moved closer to Clarke.

"This was my cell in the Skybox," Clarke answered.

"This was your room?"

"Not my room, per se. This was were I was punished to be. This is where they threw me before they sent me to the ground. All because I knew the truth about the Ark failing and my father was trying to expose it. He wanted to save us all. He knew that the people would come together, but Uncle Theo, his best friend and our political leader at the time, the Chancellor, didn't think so. Uncle Theo thought that it would cause chaos and people would revolt. He was wrong and my father was killed. I was almost killed. This is the room that I lived in for fourteen months. Had it been just a few weeks longer, I would still be in the stars, floating forever until I reentered the atmosphere and burned up," Clarke stated as she looked up through the window.

"Floating in the stars?"

Clarke ignored her question. She stared out the window and knew that the view would never be the same as her memories. There was way to see the Earth from there now. She could only see the stars at night, and she didn't want to be there at night.

"Out that window, I dreamed of freedom. I could see Earth like a giant blue marble floating in the black sea of space. I dreamed of what it would be like to walk through the trees, to see a waterfall as it poured into a pristine lake in the middle of nothing, to feel the sun on my, to feel the wind in my hair. I could only dream of what things would smell like, what food would taste like, what animals would look like. I had no frame of reference. Food, real food was a luxury that we only got once and a while from the farm if there was enough. It was maybe on your birthday."

"What was it?"

"I never knew. Mom and Dad would trade for it, I'm sure, but I always got something fresh from the farm for my birthday. I remember getting a tomato, once. It didn't matter. It was like a tease, you know? It would be another three hundred sixty plus days before you would get something else. Sometimes, I didn't want it. I would give it to my father, demanding that he eat it instead," Clarke paused and then looked deeply into Ash's eyes. "And, then I dreamed sometimes that he would come to the window and we could talk. There was no day or night on the Ark. It was all timed just to make sure that we kept our normal biological rhythms. The only things that we had from Earth were things that those before the bombs brought up to space with them."

"I know that you found everything amazing."

"I still do. Earth is a wonder that I never thought that I would be able to have, and then I was suddenly thrust upon it. And, now, I've lived here several times and it never ceases to amaze me. Earth is amazing, and just when I think that I have a handle on things, it goes and changes," Clarke replied. "You've lived here all your life. You know how fickle nature can be. I only learned constants. On the Ark, everything was constant. Earth was just so...radical to me."

"So, this place couldn't even hold you back, eh, Wanheda?" Ash asked in a teasing manner.

"No...no, I guess it couldn't," Clarke answered with a slight smirk.

Earth had been nothing like Clarke predicted, but then again, she knew that it couldn't be. No one on the Ark had been on the ground in over ninety-seven years. They had no idea how much things had changed. And, those that could have known used their power to keep the Ark floating in space. Programs and hardware were used to keep the Ark viable. They weren't worried about the surface because they had no need to worry about it based on their predictions of viability and hospitability for over two hundred years. Life as they knew it was gone, but they were wrong. And, so was she.

"Life always finds a way," Clarke stated. "We are taught that in biology, in science, in school. Life will always find a way to continue. It just might not be in the way we assumed it would."

"And, life still finds a way, yes?" Ash questioned.

"Look at us," Clarke quipped. "We are still alive. We are life. And, I know that the Eden exists. I know that we can make a life there. We will make a life there. We've survived this much."

"And, we continue to survive," Ash added.

Clarke smiled up at her. They were close. Ash looked down into her eyes and realized that this was the first time since they'd left Azgeda that she'd seen Clarke smile and mean it. There were times that it was close once they were at Becca's lab, but there was always something behind it. Now, she recognized that it was fear. Clarke had been scared that the serum wouldn't work on her. Now, she knew that it had, and she had someone to share this new life with. Clarke wasn't alone. For once, she had someone with her all the way through to the end. She didn't have to be alone.

"Yes, we will," Clarke replied.

Ash was surprised when Clarke grabbed her hand and led her out of the cell. She didn't question where Clarke was taking her. She just went with it. She knew that today must have been a day for Clarke to heal. She knew that Clarke was still healing. She would always be healing, though. It was the one thing that Clarke understood about being Wanheda. She would command death and then she would have to heal form her.

The grey walls were still domineering, but Clarke didn't seemed fazed by it all. It was like she was back home, but home was no where near the same. Ash felt her because she understood what Clarke was going through. Ash still couldn't believe how cold the Ark was. There was no life there. There was no way that life could be sustained and enjoyed there. She was amazed at Clarke's fire, but Ash could attribute that to her "coming to life" on the ground. She refused to die in space. She refused to die in Azgeda. And, she was still refusing to die now after Praimfaya.

"Skaifaya, where are we going?" Ash asked her.

"My old room," Clarke said as she pulled her into the quarters that she'd shared with her parents.

Ash looked around the place. It wasn't small, but it wasn't large. But, Ash could tell that it was larger than most of the other quarters that were in the Ark. She pulled her by the hand into the small room that was Clarke's alone. There was a small single bed with thick padding and some patch work linens and blankets. She could tell that they weren't very thick, and she doubted that they would keep Clarke very warm. There was some furniture, but it was small and wouldn't hold a lot. Looking at the drawn on walls of her room, Ash could see the Clarke had a hard life. It made her reactions to so many things make so much more sense. Clarke while restricted was willing to do anything to protect her people. She wanted to rise above and be better than they were. It also gave her a look into Clarke's childhood. She saw how her art evolved over the years even with her limited supplies. She smiled. Clarke was always good.

Clarke let her look around, as she set down on her old bed. There was nothing for Clarke to really take from there but maybe some shirts. The only thing left for her there were memories. It was also the only thing that Clarke really wanted to take with her. This was going to be the last time that she stayed in her old room, in her parents quarters, in the Ark. She didn't want to be there anymore. She knew that it was time to move on. She would check Monty and Jasper's rooms for a few things, like the mp3 player and maybe some tech. Other than that, there was nothing left of the Ark that Clarke needed.

After a few minutes, Clarke stood up and went to Ash's side. She held her hand. She pulled Ash into her and towards the bed.

"I want to stay here one more time," Clarke told her as they sat down on the padding of the bed.

Ash didn't know what she was asking. Clarke needed something, but Ash wasn't sure what it was or if she could grant it. She sat close to her, hoping that it would be enough. She'd held Clarke through the worst of things while they were running. She'd held her in the lab while Praimfaya raged outside. But, there was a different look in her eyes today.

"Just hold me, Ash," Clarke told her as she pulled them both down to lay on the bed.

Clarke snuggled up to her. Ash wasn't sure what it was, but there was something about the way that Clarke burrowed into her some nights that gave her comfort, too. She held the blonde, knowing that it wasn't dark outside but unsure of what time it actually was. She knew that they couldn't stay inside too long. Ash needed to make them dinner. It wouldn't be anything great, but at least they could have a real fire there.

There was still a little bit of wood that wasn't completely charred from the Death Wave around. She didn't have any fresh meat to heat up, or any animals to go hunt for fresh meat. But, she had enough left over from some of their stores from the lab and before that she could effectively make something a little more palatable. It wasn't gourmet, but at least it wasn't jerky or a ration bar.

She laid in the bed with Clarke curled up into her. She stared at the grey metal ceiling and wondered what it all meant. Clarke spoke of saving life like it was some holy mission that Keyron themselves sent her on, but Ash wasn't so sure. She didn't understand Clarke's anguish completely, but she could feel it. Laying there with her, she felt her emptiness. There was more to it, though. It was like Clarke was still looking for answers to questions she hadn't been asked. It was like this was some quest, some scavenger hunt for her to complete, but she didn't know what was missing.

"Tell me more about the stories of Wanheda," Clarke begged her, sleepily.

Ash couldn't help but smile. She knew that it was the one thing that Clarke asked about over and over. Ash wasn't sure if she was looking for answers in the tales, but she knew that Clarke asked new questions with each retelling. It was enough to make Ash wonder if she'd missed something in them, too.

"Wanheda came from the stars with Becca. Together they tried to helps those who survived the bombs. You've told me that they came from that bunker in Polis, under the temple," Ash started.

"Because they did," Clarke added.

"Anyway, Becca was killed and her Fleimkepa knew that there wasn't one among them who was deserving of the Fleim. So, she held onto it until they found someone among them that was worthy. For the time being they were following Wanheda. He was not a big man, but he was a good leader. He took the people away from Polis and towards TonDC. It is said that he was one of the first of Trikru, but Trikru was started by the Fleimkepas. Azgeda broke off and headed north to see what they could find. But each of the clans returned to TonDC. Each of them bore a different element of life and brought them back to Wanheda. Together they marched back to Polis and reclaimed it. Each of the clans believed in Wanheda and the elements. The first leaders were beholden to Wanheda and there was peace, but something happened. No one is quite sure how but Wanheda was killed. Without his leadership the clans bickered and split. Each going their own way until a new heda was born and rose to power. Heda tried to bring everyone back together, but power, greed, and distrust wouldn't let it happen. Some say that others from beyond joined the clans. They were scared of the power of Heda and Fleimkepas, but all the clans agreed to respect the way that Heda was chosen. Over the years the division pushed the survivors to war, to hatred, and further and further apart. The only thing that they all held sacred was that the Natblidas were chosen by Keyron and were to be delivered to the Fleimkepas in Polis," Ash told, not realizing that she'd slipped into Trig as she told her the tale again.

"But why did they chose to fight to the death? It doesn't make any sense that they would gather the chosen and then kill all but one. Those with the blood could have banded together and created a council of clans. Why to the death?"

"Only Wanheda knows, because fifty years ago, the clans were at the worst wars they could be. No clan was safe, not even the Floukru. Then from the ashes of the battle grounds in west, near the outskirts of the Plain Riders, came Wanheda. He spoke of the Twel and those that knew immediately thought that he would select one from each of the clans and unit us all again. But, he didn't. He came with a warning and with the prophecy of the one to come. No one could really understand everything that he said, but in the end, he told those that believed: Another will come. A girl with hair like the sun and eyes like the summer sky, a tempest of the stars, she will command death and life. She will touch the souls of the people and bring them back to the way that we were supposed to be...together. She would join the Uniter and together they would usher everyone into the new age of Man."

"No pressure," Clarke replied.

"What do you mean?" Ash questioned.

"Say, I really am this Wanheda, the Phoenix of the Stars, I don't have twelve people to follow me. I don't know who the Uniter is, and there is no way in Hell that I've saved us for the newest age of Man. I've failed. I'm alone in this crazy life, over and over again."

"Maybe that is because you aren't ready to be what you need to be?"

"Or, maybe it is because I'm not this fabled Wanheda," Clarke stated. "I need twelve followers. I've got one. You. So, there's that."

"It is the beginning, Skaifaya."

"Let me guess, you are Ice?"

"Would you have any other in that position?" Ash teased.

"No, no, I wouldn't," Clarke answered as she burrowed further into Ash's warm body.