My sincerest apologies to anyone who might still have this story as a favorite and such. I got a new job and was going to school and unfortunately got into a very scary wreck due to a drunk driver. Getting past the drama of PTSD and panic attacks when I try to drive… I completely have not had any motivation for this story. I'm so sorry it's been months, I know! But I really do LOVE writing and I loves Remus. 3 So I'm coming back, hopefully this time to be completely consistent.
WitchWol6470
Chapter 7: Fifth Year Starts
"We are going to get away with EVERYTHING!" I almost jumped out of my skin at James' outburst. I found myself stuck with three of the Marauder's when I couldn't find Lily, which I knew was due to her newly found Prefect duties from a letter she had sent to me a few weeks before. It seemed, however, that Sirius, James, and Peter had not been informed that Remus would be supporting the shiny badge as well when he slipped into the compartment. My eyes were scanning the differences in Remus' height and his new haircut when Lily plopped down beside me, making me jump once again.
"You will not." Were the first words out of her mouth, and I could see the smallest hint of playfulness in her glare.
"Hello Lily" I smiled, half hugging her and closing the book I had been skimming over before their entrance. "How was your summer?"
I knew she wasn't telling me everything when all she mentioned was her two week vacation and how horrid her sister had been the entire time. I knew the presence of boys would make conversation light and impersonal, so I tucked away a reminder in the back of my head to ask her later.
"Nice haircut there Remus. Get that to impress the ladies?" Sirius mocked, and my eyes settled back on the boy being teased. His hair was still sandy and hung down just a little over his forehead, but nearly as low as the previous year. It made his amber eyes stand out much more and showed off the changing structure of his face from boy to young man.
"What do you think, ladies?" James cooed in our direction, ruffling Sirius and Remus' hair.
"I think that Sirius looks like a shaggy dog" I stated and grinned at them as Sirius growled at me.
"Agreed" Lily giggled. "I like Remus' hair shorter though. I know a few girls that would kiss Sirius even if he looked like the rear end of an Acromantula." She gave an exaggerated shudder beside me.
"I like it a bit longer I think." I smiled widely at Remus as I stated this matter-of-factly. "But I think you're always quite handsome. Nothing like the end of an Acromantula." I giggled as his cheeks turned pink and they changed subjects amongst themselves.
"I think James looks like he got into a fight with a vacuum cleaner." Lily whispered into my ear before bursting out into a fit of giggles. I cocked my head to the side unsurely.
"What's a vacuum?" This only furthered her hysteria for some reason. The only thing she managed to get out was that she had to go make rounds before stumbling out of the door.
It wasn't until we were bursting full and crawling into our beds that night that Lily and I got the chance to talk. I laid on my right facing her bed and her on her left facing mine. The others had yet to come upstairs, and a look of concern passed over her face.
"I'm concerned about Severus." She told me, her voice just above a whisper. "He's been talking crazy things- about rising power and greatness. Being understood- and about keeping me safe from harm." There was a silence between us, where I didn't know what to say and she didn't know where to go from there.
"I'm sure he will be okay Lil'. He loves you." My words were meant for comfort but they were empty. She had told me the mention of Severus joining a group of friends last year of the darker kind. The kind into Defense Against the Dark Arts because of the element of Dark Arts on its own.
"He can't protect me from what's coming. I've been reading the papers. He's not speaking of anything good, Vee. Not a damn thing. He's digging a hole that I hope he can get out of before it becomes his grave." Her words made something inside of me catch fire. I wanted to be brave and help my best friend, I wanted to help Severus- but I felt small, and insignificant.
When I went to respond our dorm mates entered the room giggling and yawning alike and before I knew it I had drifted off, still looking over at Lily's bed protectively. That night my dreams were dark and unclear. I saw images that felt so real- yet blurred at the edges- a man in his early twenties maybe with thick black hair- rushing to tell his master of a prophecy… and then came the screaming.
It took Lily a few weeks to adjust to her Prefect duties. On top of patrolling shifts she covered with sixth years, Remus missed a few days and she was responsible for picking up the slack. She didn't mind though, she seemed barely stressed at all after telling me about Severus and continued to meet with him once a week to study together in the library. I wasn't sure what hit her come the first of October, but it had apparently struck that this year we would be taking our O.W.L.s.
"Why are you reading a seventh year level book!?" She screeched at me, causing eyes to turn on her in the common room. "On potions, too!? First perfect what we learn in class our own year, Vermilliah!" I didn't want to argue, because the moment I opened my mouth to tell her I was bored she set a Charms book over top of the one I had already been reading.
"Okay…" The rest of my entire weekend was spent writing notes out for the entire Charms book, even what we wouldn't be covering until the end of class. In potions class on Monday I was leaned to my right against James' shoulder because of how exhausted I was from keeping up with the homework and taking extra notes to appease Lily. Every time James would move I would slouch further down, drifting out every now and then for a few seconds before I started to completely slip out of my seat.
I hadn't noticed until James leaned back how tired they all looked along with me. Peter had his head laying on his open potions book and Sirius was propped up on the palm of his hand with his elbow on the table. I yawned, repositioning myself and trying to catch a comfortable angle against James' shoulder. I knew Remus had turned, but now my suspicions were confirmed that his three friends had all successfully become Animagi and were running around with him late into the night.
My yawn started a chain reaction in James, and then Sirius, who stretched out and almost knocked poor Peter right onto the ground. Peter caught himself and slouched, standing in the aisle between the tables now, looking around with a dreary look about him. I straightened my back and pushed away from James, deciding it was a lost cause, when I caught a glimpse of lily's piercing green eyes peeking back at our table. I smiled sleepily at her and tried to focus on the lecture at hand.
"Ah! Mr. Pettigrew… I hadn't expected you as a volunteer…" Slughorn's voice was unsure to say the least, if not a little scared. None of us had even known he was seeking a helper, and poor Peter stumbled up to the front of the class room with a dumb-found expression on his face. Potions was one of the most complicated and meticulous practices one could face, and it was not Peter's area of expertise.
I was still tired, but I focused closely as Professor Slughorn instructed Peter as he wrote on the board. I read them very carefully and when Peter started to follow instruction I held my breath. If he messed up it would be a disaster for the entire classroom, because the potion in practice was very unstable at every stage…
James and Sirius seem to have noticed the dilemma, but instead of worrying they started to snigger at Peter's every move. When Peter noticed this his face became bright red and his hands started to shake- my eyes focused in on his right hand. It was hovering with a tilted vile of red flubber mucus- I hit the floor under the table the moment I seen more than one drop slipping over the edge.
The sound left my ears ringing and when my hearing cleared I heard girls screaming and looked over to see that Sirius had fallen to the floor howling in laughter. I grimaced to look upon the scene, and pulled out my wand immediately after standing to help clear the purplish bubbling residue that coated every person and object in the room. James was covered from the waste up, and his face was swelling and turning bright red.
"Tergeo!" I gasped, and out of nowhere Lily stood by me, eyes wide and staring at James' form as he grasped at his throat despite his skin being clean of the slimy looking foam.
"Anapneo!" Lily practically screamed, pointed her wand at James' throat. He started gasping for air, and though his face was still swollen and red, he could clearly breathe. I sighed thankfully, and quickly syphoned Lily and then Sirius. I came to the conclusion that James had an allergic reaction of sorts to something, as everyone else seemed fine, and watched on as Lily fretted over the boy she was usually yelling at.
I accompanied Peter after the class had cleared up the mess and been dismissed, as Sirius had taken James to the hospital wing and Lily was defending herself to Severus. ("I couldn't just let him die!" She screeched- "Why not!?" He glared.) Peter had his head down all the way to Charms, and I sat with him and helped him with practice. Lily stormed in late and James and Sirius never showed up, so after class the three of us headed down to have lunch together.
Peter stuffed his face- which made me assume he was a comfort eater, as every time a Slytherin would walk by to hiss something behind him about the incident in potions I felt he piled his plate even higher. I patted him on the back as I watched Lily picking at her food angrily, staring intensely as she did so.
"It's okay Peter… don't listen to them. Lily? You okay?" I asked carefully, more than aware of her explosive temper when it came to James. I felt like she had a crush on him and it only made her anger towards him worse. Just last week she sent a hex 'at James' because 'he was staring at her' and it hit the girl he 'just happened' to be walking with. I was sure Severus' own feud with James did not help matters.
"Yes…" She stated blandly after a moment and dropped her fork, which she had been using to stab at the sandwich on her plate. "I'm going to the library. I have to grab some books before next class." She stood and left the hall quickly.
"Well then… I think she might be regretting saving James' life!" I tried to make a joke, but Peter seemed to take me seriously, so I suggested we should go see how James was doing before the next class, and we to left the hall in a hurry.
I think that a slight delirium set over me when I walked in and seen James sitting in a bed, shrunk back to normal size but still an abnormally bright red. He was wearing the gown that the nurse made you put on until your pajamas could be retrieved. I almost fell over laughing, and when I reached his bed stumbling I had tears in my eyes. He looked absurd! I laughed so hard and long that I woke Sirius from the bed beside him, and it took me quite some time to notice Remus was laying on top of the blankets in the bed on the other side of James.
"Oh Remus" I wiped my eyes, standing straight and hiccupping from the excessive laughter. "Hullo." I started to giggle once again when Sirius fell out of bed, I stood at the ends of James' bed and stared over at Remus. He looked very well to have just suffered a full moon. Usually he had a visible wound or winced when he moved- but he smiled lazily over at us and no signs of injury.
I was pleased that his friends found a way to help him through his transformations, and though I couldn't say it out loud I stared very appreciatively at the three boys laughing and talking about the disaster of the morning. It seemed all Peter needed was their jokes to cheer him up. When the first bell rang I half hugged James and then Remus before dragging the fully healthy boys to Transfiguration.
With the constant note taking with Lily (she always wanted to compare outcomes) and backups for Remus, I was completely sick of writing anything down at all. I focused on learning how to perfect charming a quill to write while channeling my thoughts through from my wand for a full week, and after two more weeks my hand writing had significantly improved with concentration and use. I never let Lily see me cheating—she thought it was lazy of me. So I took to staring blankly at pages when we were together studying, and tuning out her babble about exams while nodding along and humming a confirmation from time to time.
I hardly noticed at all as Halloween slipped past us, as well as a few birthdays, including my own that were spent studying. James swore that the teachers were upping the homework given each week that grew nearer to the holiday breaks, and I was starting to believe him. Usually I had no problems keeping up with my studies, but the amount of work done on paper had nothing to do with knowing how to perform a charm or spell.
Christmas break was fast approaching without any sign of excitement until one day Natalie Northman was sent home one week early because of an attack on her parents- her father hadn't made it. Rumor was that he was a muggle. Her mother was spared only because of her close lineage in blood with one of the attackers, who had been arrested and was awaiting trial. The Daily Prophet had his face plastered onto the front page next morning- Mrs. Northman had no intention of letting her husband die without justice because of his lack of magical blood.
Lily seemed most upset- Natalie was a Ravenclaw Prefect, and sometimes they made rounds together. She decided to go home for Winter Break last minute, which I completely understood as most of the students that had plans to stay were awakened to a fact of life in these dark time. That their parents could be a target as well as anyone.
As winter break started I quickly came to realize how alone I was in the common room each morning and night. Only a few seventh years seemed to have stayed the first several days of break, and one day I became pleasantly surprised at a familiar face as I came back from lunch. Remus was laid out comfortably on the couch, and I made my way to him with a new-found pep in my step.
"I didn't know you were staying! Everyone else of our year has been gone for days!" I grinned down at him and his lazy little smile. He put his book down and propped himself up against the pillows of the couch.
"I was sick, so I stayed a few nights in the infirmary. I didn't know you would be staying either, at least now I have company." He looked extremely tired, and I realized that the past few turns his beastly side must have become accustomed to changes with his little animal companions. It seemed his frustration at being alone for a change now was taken out on himself. He had a bandage wrapped around his right shoulder and neck, and with each move I knew his clothes were hiding other wounds.
I propped myself against the very edge of the couch and reached over to his neck, carefully pressing down against the tape that was peeling away from his pale skin. He frowned, clearly assuming I wouldn't notice, but I smiled at him as sweetly as I could muster.
"Lily told me James said you fell out of a tree." I watched his tense muscles relaxing after the words left my lips, and I folded my hands against my thighs. I was wearing a pair of muggle jeans I found rather comfortable from Lily's wardrobe, and a school shirt untucked and loosely buttoned at the top. "I only assumed that meant you had went home to recover. But look at you! Do you have extra bandages to change these ones out?" I asked, and slipped down onto the floor to give him room for more adjustment on the couch.
"Yes. I think the caretaker went to visit her family for the rest of the break. I believe the amount of students now greatly decreases the risk of injury." He explained, and I tilted my head back against the cushions and turned my head to the right to watch him. His hair had started to grow back in messily, and I decided I liked it.
"If you need help… I can help you." I saw his immediate rejection of the idea and I glared a little over at him. "Hey! I'm your friend too. Would you rather I help you or Sirius?" I raised my eyebrows at him.
"Well. I don't need either of you to help me. So that's that." He propped his book back up against his thighs and started looking back over the page to find where he had left off.
"Remus. It's break. Haven't we studied enough to take a little break?" I could almost hear the whine in my voice. It wasn't intentional but I quite liked the idea of a relaxing night in front of the crackling fire with a friend and no books involved. I let my bottom lip roll out in exaggerated pouting as Lily did to me, and crunched my eyebrows down in a sad manner. "Pwease? Pway wiff me?"
"Well I'm not sure what it is you want to do…" His giving in made me quickly turn around and rest on my knees facing him. "What?"
"I don't know! Lily is the only person I've ever hung out alone with before just to have fun- and her idea of fun is… studying." I stole the book from his hands and stuffed it under the cushion of one of the chairs near us. "You tell me what to do!"
"Well- let's just play a game of exploding snap and relax until dinner. I have an idea hidden away in James' trunk upstairs. But it will have to wait until after dinner." He looked tired as he said this and I decided he really did need to rest, so I pulled over a wizarding chess set so he wouldn't have to move too much and we began to play.
Later on after he had changed his bandages we went down to dinner. When we came back up there were a few Gryffindor's scattered around the room, so I followed him up the boys stairs to the fifth year quarters and jumped onto his bed eagerly as he rummaged through the chest with his left hand, as I found at dinner his right had been injured somewhat as well. I couldn't see anything because he was wearing his winter robes, but it was clear he was trying to avoid major movement in that arm.
His bed was a mess, probably from a nap earlier in the day before I had found him, and it smelled just like him. I was half twisted in his blankets with the right side of my face buried against his pillow when he came around with a bottle filled with an amber liquid labeled 'Fire Whisky'.
"What's that?" I asked and stared up at the liquid splashing around in the bottle that was about 2/3 way full. "I think I heard Lily mention Fire Whisky once." I commented as I pulled myself up and moved so that he could sit next to me.
"It's alcoholic." Was his only real comment as he whipped out his wand and conjured up two shot glasses. "Want to try? It will warm you right up. James snuck it in from home. He started giving me a shot or two on bad nights." He flicked his wand again and the bottled poured itself and landed on the side table as the glasses separated and stopped in front of each of us.
"What should we drink to?" He asked me, left hand wrapped around the glass securely, his eyes focused at the liquids subtle movements.
"I don't know what you mean… Drink to what? Like a toast?" I asked, and his eyes found mine and a smile spread across his face.
"Yeah. Sort of like a toast. Most people would drink to love or life… good health…" I turned his words over, looking down at the drink and contemplating what to drink to.
"I would hate to be like most people. They are far too easily corrupted." I commented, thinking of Severus. "I would like to drink to… to lost people, hoping they find the light." I smiled widely over at him. He was staring oddly at me, and I had the feeling that as we knocked glasses and tipped the drinks back, that my comment said more to him than I had intended.
The burning was intense at first, and I immediately knew why the drink was called Fire Whiskey. I hadn't even realized I was cold until it reached my icy fingertips, and I licked my lips and hummed in appreciation for the new experience.
"Do you like it?" He asked, and with another wave a second shot was poured.
"It's… different. What should we do while we drink it though?" I asked, and took the glass as it floated back to me.
"After a few more… well you won't be too worried about that. You'll be doing whatever you please. And you'll feel no pain." He smirked over at me and raised his drink to mine. "To feeling no pain."
A deck of cards were pulled out and a game started as we settled back, I let him have the head of the bed to lean against and I sat crisscross opposite of him. Each shot ended with a toast, and I started to feel a buzzing type sensation in my ears and fingers. I wasn't sure if I could feel my toes at all. Each shot was paired with a toast and a 'clink' before it made its way down to our stomachs.
"To Friends!"
"To family!"
"To drinking Fire Whiskey!"
"To being extremely hot on the first night of snow!" I exclaimed. I stood and slammed the shot glass onto his night table and pushed his window open, leaning out as far as my toes would take me into the cold air, looking up at each fleck of snow that was falling near the window.
"I see you've just been struck past feeling good to feeling great." Remus quickly made his way to pulling me back in by my waste and shutting the window. "You can't fall. I'm afraid my reflexes are far to impaired to save you."
I began to giggle as the whiskey was poured and hovered beside our heads. His arm was still around my middle, and I was more close than I could ever remember being to a boy before then. I was a little too lost to realize the alcohol awaiting us, and his eyes were as amber as the liquid… staring down at me in a curious way.
I stumbled to the side over one of his feet as I went to stand straight, and he winced as he had saved me from falling. I grabbed one of the glasses and steadied myself, putting it to his pink lips.
"Here- I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you Remus… I would never hurt you." I made him sit when he took the glass and I grabbed the other, offering it to him as well.
"If I didn't know any better. I'd say you were trying to get me drunk!" He joked, taking the offered glass and laying back on the bed, stretching. I knew now what drunk was, and that it had a name at all. I remember times at celebrations where there was an Elven Wine the adults would be drinking that made them giggle and stumble around.
"Remus why are you wearing those robes? They're far too hot!" I insisted on him taking the heavy layer off, and he wore his normal school uniform under the thick robes. I laid beside him propped on my right, watching him stretch his arms out over his head and yawn.
"Are you tired?" I asked, reaching over and stroking the taped of his bandage down again. He had done a sloppy job putting them on. I imagined with an injured arm it was hard to do properly.
"Are you tired?" He asked back, rubbing his eyes before opening them to look over at me.
"Well… no."
"Then I'm not tired either."
"Remus you were sick and you fell out of a tree. I think it's quite alright if you're tired."
"Well I'm not."
"You look tired." I leaned over and put my nose to his, making my eyes as wide as I could to stare at him as I took the empty glass from his hand. "You are tired!"
"No. I would know… if I was… You know, pretty girls aren't supposed to put their faces that close to delinquent boys faces." I pushed my nose against his playfully and then leaned back against my elbow, putting the glass back on the table.
"Delinquent huh? Pretty huh?" I stood up on the bed and whipped my wand out, opening each of the bed drapes around the room and beginning to jump from one to the next. "Remus thinks I'm pretty!"
"Hey be careful!" He was swaying slightly as he stood and made his way to the bathroom door. "I'll be right back. Don't break anything. Or do- just not yourself."
I continued to jump from bed to bed, waving my wand around the room at pictures and turning them upside down and sideways.
"Five little elves in an elder tree- one says 'Hey! Come jumping with me!' Five little elves jump limb from limb- one to another to every tree!" I sang, stopping on Peter's bed when Remus stepped out of the bathroom and looking down at him.
"Remus your bandages are awful." I jumped down and stood in front of him, trying to fix the tape in place but I couldn't think of any spells I had learned that would help. "Would you please just let me re-bandage this one on your neck?"
I think he was too tired to argue with me, and I let him lay down as I gathered up the bandages in the drawer by his bed. He was already falling asleep when I sat down beside him, slightly swaying myself. It took all of my focus to lean over him and be as careful as possible while pulling the bandages off.
The cuts were deep and very obviously from claws, not a tree branch. I pulled his shirt open in the front to pull it down his shoulder. He barely moved with his left hand rested in my lap, and his right laying to the bed beside him. I gently moved his head to his left, and took a cotton swab and applied the ointment generously over each cut. The center cut out of the three was the deepest, and he tensed slightly if I applied any pressure near the area.
He was so quiet when I had finished taping the sides down I had thought he had fallen asleep, but when I sat back he was looking up at me. There was something in his eyes that surprised me and immediately made me feel like my stomach was turning over.
"Are you okay?" I whispered, as if there were someone in the room. I brushed his hair back from his forehead and smiled down at him.
"I will be." He looked defeated then, and I put the supplies away in the drawer and pulled his shirt back up over his shoulder, leaving the buttons undone to leave pressure off his shoulder and neck.
"Would you like me to stay?" I asked after a moment of watching each other, my own hands wrapped around the one that had been placed against my thighs.
"I would like company, but you don't have to… you can always sleep in James' bed."
"Or I could just lay here so we can talk until we fall asleep." I offered, crawling over him and laying on my side beside him. The bed was small but big enough for the two of us. I didn't mind being pressed against him, it was going to be a cold night anyway. I pulled the blanket up over the both of us when he didn't object. "It's so empty in the tower this winter…" I commented, wiggling into a comfortable spot.
"It is… Thanks for your company." His voice was already fading, I knew he must be absolutely exhausted, so I pushed my nose to his upper arm and listened to his breathes become slower until I knew he was asleep. I looked over to the window and stayed awake think for some time before I joined him in slumber.
Next morning I woke up with my leg draped over him and his arm around my waste. His head was against my shoulder with his face against my neck and I was positive he hadn't woken up yet or we wouldn't be in such a state. I tried to move as slowly as possible to get my leg off of him without disturbing him but I knew he had begun to stir when he stretched out and pulled me closer, so I tried to pretend I wasn't awake.
"Hm…" He hummed into my neck, and I couldn't help the giggle that escaped as he took in a long, deep breath. Well if that didn't make if obvious I was awake... He stiffened at the sound, and I patted his uninjured shoulder.
"It's just me." I laughed, and ran my fingers through his messy hair. "I bet we missed breakfast."
He adjusted his head to look up at me and I touched his cheek. He had patches of rough stubble in different spots across his jaw line that I had never noticed before. I assumed this was one of the changes only apparent before his morning routine, and that it was a new thing for him with his own changing body.
"Just you hm?"
"Yepp. Just me."
He was the first to move away. I sat up and stretched and decided to go shower and dress, so I left him and we met back downstairs afterward. I was heavily wrapped up and feeling a little queasy on our way down to the Dining Hall. He told me it was probably just my body rejecting the Fire Whiskey and I just needed to eat. I decided it was worth the fun we had had the night before but decided not to tell Lily about it.
Throughout the rest of our break we spent most of our time around each other. Once he was feeling better I had him take a run with me outside- which I regretted because I felt like the icy air was stabbing my throat with each breath. I slept in his bed several nights and he would sleep in James', and we would study together in the common room and take walks down to the kitchen (which was absolutely amazing I found out) for a late night snack. By the time it came for everyone else to come back I was feeling very relaxed and happy to see everyone, and everything went back to its normal pace.