A/N: Hey guys! First of all I want to thank you for all the sweet reviews. I'm so glad you're liking it, I didn't even think anyone would read it, let alone like it!

I'm having some trouble with the reviews... Although I do get them through my email, they don't get posted... I have no idea what's wrong, I may have touched something...

I read that the jumps in time are a little confusing so I'll straighten that up. I wanted you guys to know how MerDer met, that's why the story starts when they're in highschool. But now Mer's in college and Derek's about to start his internship.

Whenever you have doubts about something, let me know. English is not my native language so I'm sorry if there are many grammar mistakes!

Keep up those reviews!

Paz

Chapter 4: All too well.

Addison Montgomery. I couldn't get her out of my head. Who was she anyway? And how come he'd never mentioned her before? She can't be that important if he hadn't bothered to tell me about it, and it's not like he hadn't had the opportunity, we talk once a week. And he always tells me these things. At least he used to.

I remember every single one of his girlfriends in fact.

Claire Sanders, he was with her right after we didn't talk for a year. She was a wild girl. The kind of teen who would smoke and end up drunk at every party at the age of fifteen. Cheated on him so many times I can't even count them.

Blair Mason, he dated him during his last year of school. She was a pretty girl. Typical blue eyed blonde with big boobs and apparently, no brain.

Violet Nowell, first year of college. The most boring girl I've ever talked to in my life.

And the list goes on. But what is weird, is that I knew about all of them instantly. And I haven't heard one word about Addison Montgomery. And it the fact that I don't know whether this is good or bad freaks me out a little... Well, a lot.

"Okay, enough, all the pacing is driving me nuts" I heard Cristina say. "What is going on? You've been with this "I-just-saw-a-ghost" face since you got back from the airport."

I looked at her and sat in front of her putting my head on my hands.

"Oh my God, don't tell me you finally slept with the guy..." She laughed. I was still serious. "Damn, is he that bad?"

"I didn't sleep with him Cristina."

She groaned "Ugh, it was too good to be true... So then what is it?" I kept quiet. "Oh, come on... Spill it already"

"He's seeing someone"

"He is?" She looked at me carefully. "Well, that's weird. I would've bet he either waited and screwed you or was gay..."

"Cristina..." I glared at her

"You get that you want to be with him, and he wants to be with you, but you're still putting this lame excuse of being emotionally unavailable... What the hell is that, anyway?"

"I just... I can't! Okay? I can't be in a relationship. I freeze. I don't do boyfriends. I do one night stands. And Derek? Derek does fairytales and magic, and tries to find "the one". It would crash us. Ruin us. Plus, tell me one couple you know that has lived happily ever after and loved their partner to death until the last second... Love ends. That's what I believe. And I also believe friendship is everlasting. So I'll go for that."

"Did you even breathe during all that?"

I rolled my eyes. She found my misery funny.

"Okay, fine... I'm just saying, don't you think you're overthinking it?"

"What do you mean?" I said frowning.

"I mean... Why do you analyze it so much? You want him. He wants you. That's clear. What's the problem?!"

"I told you... Love doesn't ex..."

She interrupted me before I could even start. "Meredith cut the crap already. Yeah, most people don't have forever. But, so what? Most people don't go to med school because it's too hard and here you are." She sighed. "I don't see why you keep thinking you deserve less than what you could have." She looked at me sadly. And I let out a deep breath and left me alone.

I wasn't overthinking it. It was just how it was. Fairytales and magic didn't go well in the life of Meredith Grey. Yeah, my parents didn't like me very much when growing up. I should blame them.

Anyway, I should go, keep thinking about Addison freaking Montgomery and how she ruined my life without even knowing her.

I'm sorry this was a little too short! I promise to make longer ones in the future!