But..." I said while laughing hysterically "when he said nooowone would sleep with you" I grabbed his face. "He forgot 'bout me"

"What?" He burst into laughter. "You'd sleep with all da hair?" I giggled

"Yeah... You know I love the hair" I whispered and suddenly our faces were literally separated by half an inch.

His eyes were sparkling in a way I'd never seen before. He took my face in his hands and kissed me.

We had never ever kissed before. And I'd never felt the sparks that I was feeling in that moment. I knew we were friends. But the alcohol and the warm feeling made everything blurry and the thin line between friendship and love was soon completely erased.

It all happened way too fast. Clothes were thrown wildly on the floor and when I opened my eyes we were naked. First times are usually nothing romantic, and we were both a bit unexperienced... I had done some stuff, and he had too, but nothing about the real business, you know what I mean?

I remember that he was gentle. He whispered sweet things to my ear. And kept asking me "Mer, are you sure?". But then, I just see flashes... I was in pain for a little while, but he made me feel so safe. So protected. And then I remember waking up.

Oh. My. God.

We were laying on the floor. With only a white sheet covering us. Our legs were intertwined, and he was holding me for dear life. I had to run. What did I do. What did I do. What did I do.

I felt him starting to wake up. He kissed my shoulder, and trailed kisses all up to my neck. I wanted to cry. What did I do.

"Hey" he whispered hugging me tight. I had ruined the best thing that's ever happened to me.

I knew he still had feelings for me. And I knew he would expect a relationship. I can't give him that.

"Mer... You feeling okay?" He said worried.

"I'm fine... Derek I..." I said with a low voice about to break.

"Damn, I didn't hurt you, did I?" I could feel horror in his tone.

"No, I'm fine... But, Derek..."

"Oh, Mer... Last night was the most amazing night of my life. I've always known. You are the one. I love you, Meredith Grey." What did I do.

"Derek." I turned around and looked at him. My eyes were filled with tears and his expression changed in a second. "I think this was a mistake."

I could feel his pain. I was breaking his heart, and I've never forgiven myself. "But... Mer, we'd be so great together... I... I would never hurt you, or use you, or..."

"Derek..." I sniffled. "This will ruin everything we've achieved. Let's not... I just... I can't lose you. I can't even risk losing you"

"You'll never lose me" His eyes were begging me to say 'we can do this'.

"Really? Because if I remember correctly, last time we didn't speak for a year." He closed his eyes and I saw a tear coming down his cheeks.

What did I do.

I hugged him tight, not knowing what to do. Did I mention we were still naked? Yeah. Awkward.

"So, we'll just pretend this never happened?"

"It's for the best, I promise" and then I felt him hug me back.

"I trust you."

We stayed like that for some minutes and then we went on with our lives. Laughing about everything and being us. That day was never ever mentioned afterwards.

End of Flashback

"And that is how I slept with Derek Shepherd"

"God you're damaged since you're sixteen. That has to be a record."

"Shut up!" I laughed.

I was leaving in two days. Too many emotions were invading me. I'd spend two weeks living with Derek Shepherd. And it all came rushing back.

A/N: Well, this one was a little shorter, sorry! But next update, Mer will go to Seattle and we'll see how things go from there!

Thank you for your reviews! They do mean a lot to me!

Paz