A/N: Hey everyone! I'm so so sorry it took me so long (again), this was not on my plans, I didn't know I wasn't going to have signal until February!

Anyway, here it is! I hope you like this!

Keep up those reviews and thank you for the amazing feedback!

Paz.

Chapter 9: Goodnight, goodnight.

"This is the day I've been waiting for so long..."

He smiled at me and kissed me deeply, everyone started clapping and I could feel my eyes start to water and exploding with happiness. He looked into my eyes and we started making our way out of the church. I looked at my left hand and a golden band was looking right back at me. Married to my best friend, the love of my life. This is forev... What the hell is that noise?

"Mer..." I opened my eyes. Of course I had to be dreaming.

"I was having a very good dream and you ruined it." I groaned and covered my head with a pillow. "What time is it?"

"It's 5 A.M"

"WHAT?!" I threw the pillow at him. "I still can sleep for like four more hours!"

"Yeah, me too, and the couch is really uncomfortable, so move, you're leaving no space"

"What? You'll sleep here?" I said with a scared expression.

"Meredith, I swear I'm too exhausted to even look at you." He groaned.

"Okay, okay, I'll move" I gave him half the bed and laid on my side, so my back was facing him.

"Like we've never slept in the same bed..."

I laughed in silence. "Shut up"

Small pause.

"Meredith you have like... four pillows and I have none, share please."

I looked around me. Two supporting my head. One between my legs. I was hugging one. "But I need them"

"All four of them?"

"Ugh." I gave him the one I was hugging.

"Thank you. Thank you so much for your amazing generosity."

"I won't give you more than that"

"You should get two, and I should get two, that's how it works" I felt him too close.

"No, it doesn't work like that when I'm playing"

"It works like that when I haven't slept for twenty-four hours."

"But why do you even need two?!"

"Seriously?! Why do you need three?" He sat down and he took one of the pillows that I was using for my head.

I felt him lay down and there was silence again.

I needed to turn. But if I did I would be facing him. I would be looking straight to his face. His dreamy, kissable face. And I wouldn't be able to contain myself.

So yeah, the silence didn't last long.

"Derek?" I whispered

"Mhmm...?" I heard him moan.

"Which side are you facing?" I continued whispering.

"What?"

"Of the bed. Which side are you facing?"

"What do you even mean?" He sounded so confused...

"Are you facing my back or..."

"Yes, Meredith. I'm facing your back. Can we go back to sleeping now?"

Shit. I really wanted to turn.

I felt his breathing start to slow down and I knew he had fallen asleep. We were so close and I still felt him so far away. Almost ten years... that I'd lost. I still can't believe it took me so long to realize I'm in love with him. I blame my mother, like I do with every other fucked up thing in my life.

She did screw my emotional capabilities over though. Apart from not ever demonstrating love in any way. Screwing a man that wasn't my father in front of my face at the age of five clearly traumatized me. And telling me that my father left just because I'd told him what I'd seen, well that just... Ruined the rest of me. But whatever. I could be with him. If only I wasn't a coward, at least that's what my shrink thinks, but... What the hell is resting on my hip?

Oh my god. A hairy, strong, manly, perfect, god I'm pathetic, arm is now resting on the curve of my waist. I couldn't move. When had he moved that much? He was still sleeping, I felt him breathing on my neck. And I felt his chest on my back. I could breathe again. I feel like we should go to sleep like this everyday. But at the same time it felt like it was too messy. He has a girlfriend, who I am supposed to meet tomorrow. And we live in different states. We can't jump into anything right now. But we can pretend. We can pretend that this is just another night, of us in each other's arms, on his beautiful land, and that we are going to do this for the rest of our lives...

I snuggled further into his arms, and fell asleep almost instantly.

When I woke up the following morning I was still curled up against him. But something was different. His breathing had changed... He was awake. He was gently moving his hand up and down my arm. I don't wanna open my eyes, because then the pretending would be over.

I felt him stare at me. He leaned closer until I felt his breath on my neck. He kissed my neck, and I felt all the hairs of my back stand. I couldn't hold it any longer and I let out a moan. He quickly left my personal space, though his chest was still strongly pressed to my back.

"Mer, you awake?" He whispered nervously.

I didn't answer and I tried to stay as still as I could. After a few seconds he caressed my hair and I felt him get up, and leave the room.

Damn that was close!