Author Note: Sorry it took me so long to put up anther chapter. I had a speech to prepare for and a self-portrait to draw but I'm all done now. All that's left is finals.

Unfortunately, this one is kind of short and honestly is a lot like the previous chapter. Sorry about that but we are almost at the big fight between Ichigo and Ulquiorra, either the next chapter or the one after it maybe...don't really know how much I'm going to focus on Ichigo's fight with Grimmjow just yet.

Disclaimer: Bleach and its characters belong to Tite Kubo

Chapter 11: Turmoil

Past:

My attempt at meeting up again with Ulquiorra after leaving Orihime was interrupted by Grimmjow this time around.

Any snide remark I would have said in preparation for an argument was silenced at the serious, slightly vicious look on his face. I hated to admit it but having such an intense look directed my way made me a little nervous even though I was of a higher rank than him.

I waited to see what he would say before opening my mouth, worried that I might invoke a violent outburst from him if I said anything. He finally spoke after several moments of tense silence.

"I don't get it…why him? Why do you adore him so much?"

The familiarity of the topic didn't soothe my nerves, as his voice remained slow and heavy with intensity, which told me that there was more behind his words this time.

"He has no heart you know. He's just Lord Aizen's pet." My nervous stare turned into a glare as my anger started to override my uneasiness.

"Stop it." I warned him but he ignored me and kept going, voice slowly rising to his usual volume.

"He'll toss you aside without hesitation if ordered to…he doesn't care about you at all."

"Shut up!"

Maybe it was because of my new understanding about my feelings for Ulquiorra or the unusually tense atmosphere but his words hit too close to home and I actually lashed out and kicked him in the gut…hard.

He flew back and crashed into the wall. The wall cracked behind him and he left an indent as he slumped down to the floor. I continued to glare at him, panting with fury and ready for retaliation. He remained in his slumped position though, not even raising his head to glare at me. The seconds drew on and I started to actually worry but then he spoke once more.

"Why? Why him?" He sounded so defeated that I started to step forward but his next words made me freeze.

"Why not me?"

That last comment was quiet and it seemed he was only speaking to himself at that point but I heard him nonetheless. I stumbled back, completely taken aback. The meaning behind those words overwhelmed me though it also explained Grimmjow's behavior and attitude towards Ulquiorra and me.

All this time he had wanted my attention…that was why he always showed up to argue with me. He was drawn to me just like I was drawn to Ulquiorra. I had never realized that, I had just continued to trail after Ulquiorra without sparing Grimmjow any real thought beyond our arguments. I had been hurting him all this time without meaning too. Guilt overwhelmed me and I ran.

Somehow through my inner turmoil I found myself running right to where Ulquiorra was. He looked up from his reading as I barged into the library. His eyes went wide when he saw the state I was in. He quickly rose up from his chair to meet me.

"Woman…what is it?" The slight concern in his voice just made me feel all the worse.

I stared up at him as tears finally spilled from my eyes. The sight of my tears clearly alarmed him but he had no idea how to properly react. I just started spouting out words but they were interrupted by my sobs.

"All this time he…I didn't know…I just…" I could no longer get any words out, not that I was making any sense to begin with. I fell to my knees and covered my face as I continued to cry.

Ulquiorra silently watched me break down with no comforting words to give me, not that I had really expected any. I wasn't even that close to Grimmjow but I still felt my heart cry out in sympathy and regret. Being in love myself, I knew how powerful that emotion could be.

I didn't know what it was like to know for a fact that the one I love loved someone else but knew that it must be so painful. Despite the times I hated Grimmjow for things he said, I would never wish that kind of pain on him. I knew that I would eventually have to face him but right then I didn't want to move.

Ulquiorra never left my side throughout my breakdown, something I was immensely grateful for.

Present:

I was still in a lot of pain when I woke up but I wasn't too worried, as I knew I would heal faster once I was back in my arrancar form. I nearly had a heart attack though when I saw Ulquiorra staring intensely down at me, looking as if he hadn't moved a muscle since I passed out.

I knew that was ridiculous though…there was no way he had stayed there while I slept. However, I could feel that I hadn't been out that long so I guessed it was possible that he just got lost in thought while standing there starting at me; it didn't necessarily have anything to do with me.

I forced myself to sit up so I could be at least a little closer to his level since he didn't seem inclined to leave just yet.

"Why didn't you fight back?" I met his gaze at the sudden question, waiting for him to elaborate. "You possess enough spiritual pressure to put up more of a fight than what I saw." Of course he realized that.

"Why let yourself be injured to such an extent?"

"I wanted to keep her attention on me, instead of Orihime."

"Why?" He asked, honestly seeming to want to understand.

"I care about her…my heart won't let me stand silently on the side while she is in danger." I responded, knowing that the mention of the heart would catch his interest.

"Heart…what is this heart?" I silently contemplated how to go about explaining such a complex thing as the heart so that he could potentially understand.

"The heart hurts yet strengthens you, brings you sorrow and happiness, makes you hate and love, holds your precious memories, helps you make friends and fills you with warmth when you're around your loved ones." His eyes narrowed skeptically.

"Where is this supposed heart?" He stepped closer towards me.

"If I crack open your skull will I find it?" He lifted his hand and brought it right in front of my face. "If I rip open your chest will I find it?" He lowered his hand to my chest. I knew his words and actions were meant to be threatening but they just made me smile.

"If you were to rip open my chest you would find my physical heart, which keeps me alive, but I don't think you'll find the spiritual heart, which is what you're looking for." His eyes narrowed further, silently demanding a proper answer. I obliged him with a slightly fond smile.

"The spiritual heart can't physically be seen…however, I know it exists. If it didn't, then I wouldn't care for Orihime the way I do, Orihime wouldn't care for Ichigo and the others like she does and they wouldn't have gone so far to save her."

I wouldn't love you, I silently added.

He didn't respond to my words though he was clearly contemplating them. He turned to leave after several moments of silence but stopped when I called out to him.

"Wait." He glanced back at me. "I'm worried that those arrancar will try again…could you please go check on Orihime?" He stared at me for a second.

"Lord Aizen entrusted me with her wellbeing." I smiled at his roundabout way of telling me that he would.

"Thank you." I said, giving him a warm smile.

He continued towards the door but then suddenly paused in the doorway. He whirled around to look back at me. The expression on his face made my smile drop; it was a look that I had never seen before on his face. It was a combined look of confusion, surprise, alarm and realization.

"What's wrong?" I asked, honestly worried.

He just stood there staring at me as if he hadn't heard me. I was just about to get up and approach him when he finally turned and left. I continued to stare where he was a second ago, still worried.

What sort of realization did he have? What could have caused such a reaction? He had looked so alarmed and yet confused by whatever it was. I wished he would have talked it over with me; I wanted to help ease his worries and help him figure whatever it was out but he had run off.

It was almost as if he was running from me…I hoped that wasn't the case.

I tracked Ulquiorra's spiritual pressure and found that, despite whatever upset he just experienced, he was still heading towards Orihime's room. It seemed he was still going to check on her.

The sudden angry spike in his spiritual pressure when he reached her room told me what I had already assumed…Orihime was no longer there. Grimmjow had stolen her away to heal Ichigo just like in my timeline. No doubt Ulquiorra was now going to go confront Grimmjow and get Orihime back.

I followed the confrontation closely, wondering if Grimmjow was going to pull the same trick as he did in my timeline. The sudden disappearance of Ulquiorra's spiritual pressure and the energy of a caja negación told that he did indeed pull the same trick. I'll admit that it was rather clever and very effective as he could now fight Ichigo until Ulquiorra managed to make his way back from the dimension he was sent to.

I felt worry and dread start to build up in my chest as the fight between Grimmjow and Ichigo started. I took a deep breath to calm myself and instead focused on my own spiritual pressure. I stared down at my hands as I gauged my spiritual pressure level. It was returning at a faster rate now. I could only hope it would be back to normal by the time Ulquiorra returned.

It didn't really matter though, as I was going to try and save him whether my spiritual pressure was fully restored or not...even if it costs me my life.

Author Note: Hope you guys have no issue with Grimmjow having feelings for Akira. I see it more like an intense infatuation than love but Akira is assuming it is love because his actions aren't that different from hers, which she does out of love.

It was hard explaining the heart differently than Orihime originally did in canon but Akira needed to have her own way of explaining it and I like that she is the one to explain it to Ulquiorra this time around.

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