Plastered Paradox

Chapter 22

"Okay," Jaune announced as the four of them left General Schnee's office. "We need to go hunt down a madman before he succeeds in usurping the Council and gaining control of Atlas. Question is, where should we start?"

"Hell if I know," Cinder said with a shrug. "Where do madmen tend to hide out when not trying to implement their plans for world domination? Figure that out and you might be on the right track to finding him."

"Do we even know who this guy is?" Raven asked.

"I've got a few potential candidates," Jaune offered. "It didn't sound like any of them, though – Tyrian, Hazel, and Watts are probably doing some shit behind-the-scenes at the moment, but that definitely wasn't them. That means it's someone else. But who else could possibly have beef with-"

He suddenly paused, his eyes going wide. After a moment, he sighed tiredly, then brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Yup, I should've seen this one coming…"

"What is it?" Qrow asked. "I take it you've got an idea?"

"Yeah, I know who this is. Think about it – who do you know that has a pseudo-autistic fixation with protecting the shit out of Atlas, and who now has genuine beef with the people who run the place due to recent events? You won't have to think hard about it."

Qrow blinked. "...Holy shit, is this Ironwood?"

"Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner," Jaune commented as he clapped sarcastically. "I mean, it's either him or some other idiot who's coming completely out of left field, and between the two, my money's on Irondick."

"Well, that answers that question, yet raises so many others," Cinder began. "What's he even going to do if nobody complies with his demands?"

"He's the former General of Atlas," Jaune pointed out. "He's also completely mad. I wouldn't be surprised if he's got a backdoor into their systems, and I don't think I'll have to tell you that something like that is a very, very bad thing."

"Okay, so what are we supposed to do about it?" Raven asked, impatient.

Jaune shrugged. "Hell if I know. We don't know where to find Ironwood or what he's planning. All we know is he's just issued us an ultimatum, and we've got no idea how he plans to act on it. So, all in all, today's been pretty shitty so far. That's not surprising since most of my days are pretty shitty, but still. Just thought I'd mention it."

"My heart weeps for you," Raven said dryly. "But anyway, now that you're finished lamenting your poor decisions and unfortunate luck, what should we do? Because we need a better plan than sitting around, waiting for Ironwood or Salem to make the first move."

"Alright, alright," Jaune said. "Let me think… hm… in the original timeline, everything went to shit down in Mantle. Hopefully that doesn't happen – Jacques isn't running for Council just yet, so that's one less spanner in the works – but we should still probably try and lock things down there first. Chances are, Ironwood is going to try and destabilize Mantle somehow and then use the ensuing chaos to seize power for himself, which is similar to what happened in my original timeline. Then Salem is going to show up personally and really tear everyone a new asshole."

"Can we really rely on things playing out the same as in the original timeline?" Qrow questioned. "I mean, that stuff happened almost twenty years in the future for us, give or take. There's no telling how everything could pan out now that you're in the past. Hell, the fact that you've already changed so much shit means that things probably won't end up that way at all."

"I know, I know," Jaune said dismissively. "Still, we'll want to get everything down in Mantle under control while we can. Mantle is currently the weakest link – that's where all the trouble began in the original timeline, and I doubt it's any better in the past. We don't have the White Fang to worry about, thankfully, but if there's something that can go wrong, odds are that it's going to start going wrong in Mantle."

"That's a start, at least," Raven commented. "Anything else?"

"We need to determine exactly how deep in Atlas' systems Ironwood is," Jaune said. "Mantle is on a knife's edge at the moment – if he can shut down their heating lamps or otherwise destabilize them, that's basically it for the entire Kingdom. Fortunately, I might know a guy who can help with that – he should also be down in Mantle. If we can get to him and convince him to help us out, then we might be able to flush Ironwood out of the systems, at which point his only real option is direct action or bust. And once he starts doing that, we can take him down."

"Sounds pretty straightforward to me," Cinder stated. "Shall we go?"

"Wait," Jaune said. "There's one other thing I want to do now that we're here in Atlas."

"Jaune," Cinder said through gritted teeth. "Why did you bring me here?"

"Oh, relax," Jaune said as he approached the pile of burnt ashes that had once been the Glass Unicorn. "This'll only take a second. Qrow, Raven, have her look away."

"What are you planning to do?" Qrow asked.

"Trust me, this'll be great."

"Fine, whatever," Raven grunted. "Look away, Cinder."

"But-" Cinder protested.

"Think about it, kid – Jaune just told you to look away. Do you really want to see what he's got planned?"

Cinder didn't protest any further, instead turning around and closing her eyes. Jaune waited for her to be looking in the complete opposite direction of him before shrugging, unzipping his pants, and whipping it out.

"This was worth coming back in time for," he said as he aimed at the pile of ashes and let himself go.

"Ah, so this is where you all ended up," an all-too-familiar voice from off to his side suddenly announced. "Happy to see you're still being a stellar role model for Cinder. Definitely glad I let her go with you."

"Oh, look, the no-fun-brigade showed up," Jaune commented as he finished pissing and then zipped himself back up. "How the hell are you, Rhodes?"

"I was a lot better before I saw your dick flapping in the breeze. Should I even ask what this is about?"

"It's exactly what it looks like."

"Figures. I don't know what else I expected." Rhodes turned back towards Cinder. "How you doing, kid? They haven't mindbroken you or anything, have they?"

"Actually, every day is a different mindfuck," Cinder said. "I've already seen Jaune naked, like, twice."

Rhodes turned back towards Jaune, who held up his hands in surrender. "It was an accident," he stated.

"Oh, I'm sure," Rhodes said. "For reference's sake, the only reason I'm not attacking you right now is because I know you'd win."

"Oh, fuck off. I'm not gonna do anything bad towards Cinder, she's basically my adoptive daughter at this point."

"Interesting take. Who's the mom?"

"Who do you think the mom is? There's only one other person it could be."

"Are you sure? Because that black-haired guy is kinda androgynous if you squint."

Qrow rolled his eyes. "This is stupid. What do you want, dude?"

"Oh, I just figured I'd check in and see how Cinder was doing, since a little birdie told me you guys were in town," Rhodes said.

"How the hell did you figure that out?" Jaune asked.

"You guys aren't exactly subtle. I overheard people talking about some blonde guy with extremely fancy pants and knew for a fact it was you."

"Yeah, that figures," Jaune said. "Anyway, you're here now. You feel like tagging along with us?"

"I don't see why not," Rhodes grunted. "If nothing else, it'll let me be sure that you're not abusing Cinder or molesting her or something."

"Actually, I was hoping you three would go off together, and Cinder and I could go on our own," Raven said.

Jaune looked to her in surprise. "Uh, what? I mean, no offense, but coming from you, that's… unexpected, we'll say."

"I'm inclined to agree," Cinder said, skeptical. "I thought you were ambivalent towards me at best. What changed?"

"I'm dating Jaune now," Raven emphasized. "And he cares for you, so I figure the least I can do is try to follow in his footsteps a bit."

"Makes sense, I suppose," Jaune admitted. "Alright, then – you three can go search for my guy, and the rest of us will try to lock down Mantle and keep it from getting just absolutely turbo-fucked."

"Who's your guy, by the way?" Raven asked. "It'd probably help if you were actually straightforward about this shit for once instead of being purposely obtuse about it."

"Oh, for fuck's sake… it's Pietro Polendina," Jaune explained. "He's a dark-skinned paraplegic in a wheelchair who has a workshop down in Mantle. He's basically Santa, except black and disabled. There, you happy now?"

"Much better," Cinder emphasized. "This is still going to be a weird excursion, I can tell, but at least now we know where the fuck we're going."
Rhodes turned towards Jaune. "I assume she's inheriting her potty mouth from you, too?"

"Damn straight," Jaune insisted. "I'm proud of her, she's not even sixteen and she's already cussing like a sailor and roasting people. Ah, they grow up so fast…"

"Whatever," Rhodes stated with a huff. "Let's just go get this shit over with, whatever it is."

"So, admit it," Jaune said as him, Qrow, and Rhodes marched through downtown Mantle. "You're totally jealous of me."

"Why would I be jealous of you?" Rhodes asked. "You're a complete asshole."

"Yes, but I'm also the complete asshole who Cinder looks up to as basically her surrogate father figure. I'm doing a better job with her than you ever did, and I've known her for, what, a few weeks? That must be pretty embarrassing for you."

"Ladies, please," Qrow said, stepping between them and separating them with his arms as they glared daggers at each other. "You can growl at each other and hit each other with your purses later, when we're not doing something that's actually important. For now, keep it in your pants, would you?"

Jaune reluctantly backed down, pulling away from Qrow. "Alright, alright… but only because I don't want to set a bad example for Cinder."

"Interesting how you only care about doing that when she's not actually around to see it," Rhodes pointed out.

"Yeah, well, at least I'm there for her when she needs me. Where the fuck were you when her so-called family was torturing her?"

Qrow thumped them both on the back of the head. "Behave yourselves," he warned.

They both turned away, grumbling under their breath. After that, the group continued on in silence for a bit before Rhodes spoke up.

"So what are we doing down here, anyway?" he asked. "I figure we're actually planning to, you know, do something, instead of just wander around aimlessly?"

"Yes, actually," Jaune said. "We're looking for a group calling themselves the Happy Huntresses."

"Seriously? No offense, but that sounds very gay."

"They are gay, actually," Jaune specified. "Incredibly gay, in fact. You're free to disapprove all you want if that's your prerogative, but for now, do us all a favor and shut the fuck up about it, because we need their help."

"With what?"

"With figuring out what's fucky down in Mantle, that's what. They'll know the answer to that better than anyone… I mean, assuming they're not all teenagers right now, which is a distinct possibility."

Qrow groaned tiredly. "Please don't tell me that we're going to have to interact with even more teenage shitkids… Cinder is bad enough."

"Hey, Cinder's not a shitkid," Jaune argued. "In fact, she's actually pretty bearable. That being said, I hope her and Raven are getting along fine right now…"

"So, answer me truthfully," Cinder said as her and Raven walked through Mantle's streets. "What compelled you to insist that we go on this little excursion together?"

Raven shrugged. "Figured we've never really had some time together. Thought it'd be best if we rectified that sooner rather than later."

"I take it that this is entirely because you and Jaune are now an item?"

"That's most of it, but honestly, if we're going to be fighting Salem together, then it'll pay to get to know each other," Raven pointed out. "Still, you're not wrong."

"Speaking of you and Jaune, I must admit, while it was always within the realm of possibility, I am still surprised neither of you have completely fucked it up just yet. I thought for sure one of you would say or do something incredibly stupid and ruin the entire relationship."

"Give it time, there's still a chance that could happen."

"When is there not a chance of that happening?"

"When we get married."

"And is that something you'd be open to?"

Raven paused, then gave Cinder an incredulous look. "...Are you advising me to marry Jaune?"

"Well, let's consider your options," Cinder began. "You have incredibly high standards, which so far are met only by Jaune, Qrow, and Taiyang. Taiyang is taken, so he's out. Qrow is your brother, so he's out, but to a lesser extent than Taiyang, because I'm sure if you were both desperate enough, you would be open to it. That still really only leaves Jaune, though, and as for him… well, it really comes down to either you or Goodwitch, and frankly I think he's still too scared of Goodwitch to even consider her as an option."

"Are you saying that I'm going to win the Jaunebowl by default?"

"Your words, not mine… but yes."

Raven exhaled through her nose. "You've got quite the mouth on you, kid."

"I get it from you and Jaune."

"I hate to tell you this, but we're not your parents."

"You might as well be, because you're both the closest thing I've ever had to actual parents. I know that's weird because neither of you are actually old enough to be my parents, but still. You're both all I've got."

"I didn't think you cared that much."

Cinder scoffed. "Oh, please. I give you all shit, but only because I like you all. I mean, where would I be right now if I wasn't tagging along with all of you? I'd be out on the streets, that's where. Or, worse, I'd still be in the Glass Unicorn, acting as a slave to the Madame and my stepsisters. Jaune burning that place to the ground was the best moment of my life."

"Sure sounds like it," Raven grunted. "Place sounds like it was a complete shithole, and that's saying a lot coming from a bandit like me."

"It was, but that's beside the point. What I'm getting at is that I owe Jaune a huge debt. I just want to make him happy, however I can. And right now, you're the thing that makes him the happiest."

Raven stopped dead in her tracks, then turned to Cinder in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that he enjoys being around you," Cinder emphasized. "He likes trading barbs with you, Raven. You and I are the only people who can keep up with him in that regard, but you can do it in a way that I can't. He really likes that about you."

"How can you tell?"

"Uh, because you two are now dating?" Cinder said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "What do you think drew him to you in the first place?"

"I always thought it was my good looks."

"Those play a part, but trust me, the real reason is because he enjoys having someone who will actually roast him back. Granted, I do it, too, but it's not quite the same as it is coming from you. And I think you know that."

"Alright, alright, you've made your point," Raven said gruffly as the two of them continued walking. "So, what are you trying to get out of this, anyway? Trying to get me to be your new mommy or something?"

"That depends entirely on whether or not you're offering."

"No," Raven said instantly.

"Why not?"

"Because I gave the whole mother thing a shot years ago and it didn't work out. I'm sure Jaune told you all about that, though – how I abandoned my own kid because I was scared."

"Scared of what? Fighting Salem?"

"That, and being a parent," Raven confessed. "I'm a bandit, Cinder. Tai tried to tame me, and he succeeded for awhile, but in the end, I reverted to my baser instincts."

"Yes, and now you're here, helping us save the world," Cinder pointed out. "You're a different person, Raven – more mature, and more stable. Whatever happened that drove you away seven years ago, it's different now. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here. And don't try to act like you're just here for Jaune – if that were the case, you would've fled back to the tribe after your first night together with him. Something changed."

"Whatever it was, it doesn't matter," Raven insisted. "You don't want me as your mother, Cinder. That's something I can't do."

"You're wrong," Cinder inissited.

"What makes you say that?"

"Look at what you're doing now. It's just you and me right now, and at your request, at that."

Again, Raven paused. "...That's different. You can't point to one thing and use that as evidence for a claim as big as that."

"Maybe not, but you have to admit, it's a start," Cinder told her. "The only question is where we go from here."

"Well, where do you want to go from here?"

"You're a bandit, so I assume you have experience with all kinds of weapons. Does that include bows and arrows?"

"Of course."

"Great. Teach me archery."

"Archery?" Raven echoed. "That's your idea of a bonding experience?"

"Did you have something better in mind?" Cinder asked.

Raven shook her head. "Much as I'd like to teach you archery, you kind of need a bow first."

"Shouldn't be too hard to make one," Cinder mused. "I can probably create a mecha-shift bow that can turn into dual swords, then it's just a matter of putting some Gravity Dust crystals between them to form a bow string. I can make my own arrows using my Semblance."

Raven stared at her. "You've put more thought into this than I would've thought."

"Well, Jaune's always bitching about how we have no ranged fighters, so I've been brainstorming ways to rectify that myself. How am I doing?"

"That could work," Raven admitted. "Alright, then. You make a bow, and I'll teach you archery."

Cinder gave her a grin. "You know, I think this is the start of something beautiful, Raven."

"I'd tell you not to push it, but we're far past that point already. Instead, I'll just enjoy it for what it is."

Jaune shook his head. "On second thought, Cinder and Raven together is probably way scarier than it has any right to be. Hey, Qrow, what's the over-under on whether or not those two have managed to kill each other yet?"

"Fifty-fifty," Qrow said.

"Damn, that high?"

"You guys aren't giving Cinder enough credit," Rhodes argued. "She's honestly not that hard to get along with."

"Cinder's not the one I'm worried about there," Jaune said. "But thank you for reminding us that you're Rhodes by missing the point entirely."

Rhodes glared at him, but Jaune ignored him. Instead, he let out a tired sigh. "Alright, you know what? This fucking sucks. We've been wandering for how long, and we still haven't come across any of the Happy Huntresses?"

"This was your plan," Qrow reminded him.

"Yeah, well, one of you should have talked me out of it. Odds are, the Happy Huntresses aren't even around yet; they're probably all about Winter's age right now, so they're almost certainly still in school or something… assuming Mantle even has schools."

"Why wouldn't Mantle have schools?" Rhodes asked.

"You kidding? This place is so underprivileged and shitty that I wouldn't be surprised if they take babies out of their cribs and put them to work in the Dust mines. I already didn't regret punching out Jacques Schnee, and now my one wish is that I'd taken a few more of his teeth when I did it. Dude deserves one hell of an asskicking for how he's taking advantage of everything here."

"Mantle is not that bad," Rhodes argued. "You're acting like it's a crime-ridden hellscape of a city."

Off in the distance, there was a sudden explosion, followed by a barrage of panicked screaming. Qrow and Jaune looked towards it, then turned back to Rhodes with deadpan expressions on their faces.

"This proves nothing," he said.

"Whatever," Jaune retorted. "Let's just go take care of whatever the fuck this is."

With that, the three of them took off running, weaving through throngs of people on their way to the latest disaster zone. When they got there, they found the smoldering wreckage of a bombed-out building, surrounded by Atlesian Knight robots, all firing into the crowd.

Jaune, Qrow, and Rhodes leapt into action immediately, leaping into the fray without missing a beat. Jaune's sword cleaved through one of the Knights, and off to his side, he was able to see Qrow and Rhodes engaging several others. It was just a small squad of Knights, so it was over quickly, but the damage was already done – he counted a few dead civilians on the ground already, and couldn't help but swear.

"Well, shit," he lamented. "Looks like we're already getting into the dark timeline, and only a decade too early. Just my fucking luck."

"What happened?!" Rhodes shouted. "It's like the Knights just went haywire!"

"Atlas has a little bug in the systems, we'll say," Jaune stated. "And I have a pretty good idea of who it could be."

"Ironwood?" Qrow asked.

"Worse," Jaune replied as he kicked the decapitated head of one of the fallen robots. "The Queen's here, Qrow – or at the least, her pawns are."

There was a sudden whine, and then the heating lamps all around Mantle died. A fierce chill settled over them all, and Jaune sighed again before turning back to the other two.

"The Happy Huntresses are a bust," he declared. "C'mon, let's link up with Raven and Cinder and find Pietro Polendina, already."

Thankfully, it wasn't hard to find Cinder and Raven – all of the civilians had already retreated indoors to get away from any more rogue Knights and the cold, so all their group had to do was look for the two women wandering around. They'd all found each other in record time, luckily.

"Jaune!" Raven said as she came running over. "What the fuck is going on? That explosion earlier-"

"Salem's making her moves already," Jaune declared. "That was Watts hacking into Atlas' systems, I'm sure of it. He can make the Knights go haywire at will."

"Shit…" Rhodes muttered. "I have no idea who you're talking about, but anyone who can hijack the Knights like that is bad news – those things make up a large portion of Atlas' forces. And if he's got access to their systems, then there's no telling what else he can shut down or mess up."

"We already know that," Qrow reminded him. "The heating lamps are down, remember? If we don't find a way to kick Watts out of the system and get those things back up and running, Mantle is going to freeze over."

Jaune looked over to Cinder and Raven. "Have you two found Pietro's shop yet?"

Cinder shook her head. "We heard the explosion and came running."

"Then that's our first order of business. Follow me, we're gonna go looking for it. You see any Knights, feel free to bring them down."

Thankfully, it didn't take them long to find Pietro's workshop, mainly because he'd marked it with a large sign.

"In retrospect, I'm not surprised that we somehow managed to miss this," Jaune noted. "I mean, it's really just par for the course at this point."

"Whatever," Rhodes said dismissively. "Let's just go inside and do whatever it is you morons need to do."

He knocked on the door, but received no answer. Confused, he raised a hand to knock again, but a red light from behind the door made him pause. They all stood there for a moment, confused, before Jaune acted.

"Down!" he called.

Just in time, too – a green laser suddenly pierced through the door, passing by where Rhodes' head had been just a moment before. They all stared at it as it flew off into the distance and disintegrated a nearby piece of mining equipment.

"Stop!" someone shouted from inside the workshop. "Down, Penny 1.0! Those are not your enemies!"

Jaune chanced a look up from the small pile of snow he'd thrown himself into, and was stunned to see a massive bipedal white robot with a red canopy standing before him, two laser chainguns leveled at his head. He sheepishly raised a hand in greeting.

"Uh, hi."

"Hello," the robot announced in a monotone drawl. "You are trespassing on private property. Prepare to be disintegrated. Engaging subroutine Snappy_Quip dot exe: Hippity hoppity, get off my property."

"Stop!" the same voice from before shouted. "Dang it, I thought I worked those kinks out of the system…"

Reluctantly, the robot stood down, pointing its weapons up to the sky instead of between Jaune's eyes. He breathed a sigh of relief, then looked into the building.

"Pietro Polendina," he announced. "Just the man I wanted to see."

"Is this important?" Pietro asked. "Because, no offense, but I am very busy."

"Yes, it's highly important."

He sighed tiredly. "Come on in, then…"

With that, he turned and beckoned them inside. They all exchanged a glance, then followed him in.

"Neo!"

Neo looked up as Roman entered the room, frantic. Currently, she was helping Ruby and Whitley with their coloring books. Neither one actually needed any help, of course, but they both insisted she come watch them, and so she had.

Roman paused in front of her, doubled over and gasping for breath. Neo tilted her head, confused, and Roman finished taking in air and looked back to her.

"Where are Ren and Nora?! It just occurred to me that I haven't seen them in a while."

Neo thought for a moment, then shrugged. Roman's brow furrowed. "What do you mean, you don't know?! You're supposed to help me watch them!"

"Neo was watching us, Uncle Roman," Ruby chimed in.

"Then who was watching the others?!"

"The older kids volunteered," Whitley explained. "Adam, Mercury, and… erm… Emerald…"

Roman did not miss how a faint blush crossed Whitley's face at the last name. He sighed tiredly, reaching into his coat pocket for a cigar.

"That makes zero sense," he declared as he lit up. "Mercury might have agreed to do something like that because he thought it was funny, but there's no way Adam would have gone with it. Not only does he hate Mercury, but he also seems to dislike anyone else not named Blake."

"It was his idea, actually," Ruby said. "Nora was talking to him about something; he tried to ignore her for a while, but I guess she said something that got his attention, because he suddenly declared he needed her for something. The others figured they'd tag along, too."

"Great…" Roman sighed. "What could she have possibly said to him to get that kind of reaction?"

"So, like I mentioned, you mix that type of Dust together with that type of Dust, and it creates a chain reaction between the two. Big light show; very fun."

Adam let out a grunt as he held the two Dust canisters in front of himself, squinting as he stared at them. "And you're sure it's these two?"

"Positive," Nora affirmed with a nod. "Gravity Dust and Lightning Dust go together like peanut butter and broccoli."

"Those things don't go together," Weiss pointed out.

"Oh. Forget I said anything, then."

"Why are you here, Schnee?" Adam growled, turning back towards her. "This doesn't concern you."

Weiss was unperturbed. "Because Blake is here, and she's my friend. We were just fine discussing books when you two came along and decided to cause mayhem. Plus, you're supposed to be watching us, and something tells me Roman wouldn't want us to be alone in this seedy club."

"You're right about that," Yang confirmed. "Ruby and I once tried to go to the adults-only section, because it sounded fun. He got pretty mad at us for that one."

"What makes it the adults only section?" Emerald questioned.

"No idea. Maybe that's where they do their taxes, or other adult stuff?"

"And you thought that sounded fun?"

"Taxes means money, right? Sounded like a good place to pickpocket people. And pickpocketing is fun, just ask Neo."

Weiss shuddered. "So uncouth… right, Blake?"

Blake, however, was too busy eyeing the vials of Dust in Adam's hands. "U-um… is this smart? It seems pretty unsafe…"

"Oh, it's perfectly safe," Nora confirmed. "I've made this mixture myself a dozen times, only bigger. Generally, I use two vials of Dust each, and that's enough to clear a room. I figure if we scale it down like this, it should make for some really pretty effects, but not much else."

"Do I even want to know where you learned how to do this?" Weiss demanded.

"I do," Mercury said excitedly.

Nora thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Container of Dust fell off the truck in Mistral one time. I ended up grabbing a few packages of Dust and mixing them together to see what happened."

"That's not what happened," Ren chimed in. "Your exact words were 'Nora wants big boom' and then you proceeded to clear out a city block because the explosion was so loud."

"Yeah, but you didn't exactly try to stop me, did you?"

"No."

"And why was that?"

"Because I, also, wanted big boom," Ren confessed, somewhat shamefully.

"I rest my case," Nora said smugly. "Anyway, go ahead and mix the two together, bull-man."

"Don't call me that," Adam snarled.

"It's what you are, though. Isn't that right, cat-girl?"

"That sounds somewhat offensive, Nora…" Blake offered. "I expect that kind of thing from Mercury, but not you."

"Yeah, whatever," Mercury said, impatient. "Hurry up and mix the two together, already. I was promised a light show."

"Hey, Adam?" Weiss suddenly asked. "Why were you even interested in this sort of thing, anyway?"

"He's a boy, Weiss," Emerald said. "I think they're all drawn to explosions in some form. It doesn't strike me as weird."

"Then what does that make Nora?"

"It makes her a Nora."

Weiss looked like she wanted to argue, but thought better of it, instead conceding with a nod. And just in time, too, as Adam uncapped the vials of Dust and was about to pour one into the other when Roman suddenly kicked in the door and came storming in.

"Alright, what are you little hellions doing?" he demanded. His eyes immediately fell on Roman, and he paused. "...Is that what I think it is?"

"That depends on what you think it is," Mercury offered. "If you think it's powdered sugar, then you're in for a big surprise when you go to snort it."

"You snort powdered sugar?" Yang asked.

"Yeah."

"That's weird. You know, most people eat it."

Mercury's brow furrowed. "Disgusting."

Roman stomped over to Adam, then swiftly tore the vials of Dust out of his hands. "Give me those," he growled. Adam glared at him, but Roman rolled his eyes. "Oh, don't act like that. This stuff is dangerous. Where'd you even get it?"

"Found it," Nora offered.

"Yeah, okay. You mean to tell me that Yang didn't rip it out of some drunk Huntsman's pockets like the little kleptomaniac she is?"

"I did no such thing!" Yang said, sounding scandalized. "Ruby, on the other hand…"

Ruby's jaw dropped. "You ratted me out!"

"He had me dead to rights, Rubes. What was I supposed to do?"

"Remember Uncle Roman's lesson, for one!"

"I did – I saved my own skin."

"By narcing on your partner! You never do that!"

Yang waved her off. "Details, details."

Roman sighed tiredly. "Alright, alright; no fighting. I'm just gonna take this away now."

With that, he turned and began to walk away… but as he did so, something happened. He wasn't sure what – maybe he just got clumsy, or maybe someone actually tripped him, but whatever the case, Roman fell. And as he fell, the two vials fell with him. They hit the floor with a shattering of glass, the two Dust mixtures meeting in a pile on the ground. Roman stared at it with wide eyes, and had just enough time to utter two words as the Dust began to pop and fizzle.

"Ah, poop."

The resulting explosion blew all the windows out of the room and left everyone covered in a layer of soot.

Needless to say, everyone needed a bath and a change of clothes afterwards, him included.

Sorry I missed the last update, guys - had some stuff I was going through. Doing a lot better now, thankfully, but still have some way to go before I'm fully there again. It's not too bad, though, so don't worry about me or anything. I'm doing fine, basically.

Anyway, don't have too much to say about this one. This story is a lot of fun to write, I feel like I need to reiterate - it's just a good time, dude lol. I love writing crack so much.

As far as housekeeping items are concerned, expect a Seeing Red update pretty soon, possibly this weekend. Also, I've been working on a little something secret with Ickbard - no idea when that'll come out, but I'll speak more about it later, I suppose. Just be aware that there might be something new coming out pretty soon.

Past that, I've got nothing else. Hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you later!

Enjoy my work and want to help me out a bit? You can support me, as well as read more of my writing, over on Amazon. My second original story is available for purchase now, you can find it by going on Amazon and searching for 'Dead World' by John Haruspex. The story is available now for three bucks in ebook format (or free with Kindle Unlimited) or twelve bucks in paperback format, if you prefer physical media. (Remove the spaces)

www . amazon Dead-World-John-Haruspex / dp /B0C2RPGXVC / ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1682982861&sr=8-2

My first original story is also still available at the following link as well:

www . amazon dp/ B0BLFL72MX