As I walk back down the hallway towards the elevator, my head is still spinning from how quickly the tables have turned. One minute we're joking with each other and the next thing I know, Tara is kicking me out! How did I let that happen? How did I let things get so out of control? It wasn't supposed to be like this. I knew she would be angry, but not angry enough to ask me to leave. I should have been able to make her see, to have her understand that I was making the right choice. Instead, all I did was cause her more pain. I made her even more miserable than she already was.

Before I can push the button, the elevator dings and when the doors open, I find myself face to face with the last person I expected to see. Saskia. Saskia Duncan. The youngest principal dancer in the history of the company. But that's not all she is. She's so much more. She is the one who started this whole thing. The reason why Tara is here in the first place. She made this mess even worse than it might have been otherwise. Seeing her only adds to my annoyance.

My blood boils. How dare she come here? After all the damage she's done, for her to be visiting Tara as if nothing bad had happened between them! Does she have any idea how horrible what she did was? Taking advantage of someone who looked up to her, admired her, wanted to be just like her! Crushing her spirit, telling her she was never going to be good enough! Making her feel worthless and small! Blaming Tara for all her problems and taking out all her anger on her.

Like you did? A voice echoes in the back of my mind. Didn't you do the same thing? What makes her any worse than you? Before I can process my thoughts, she looks up and smiles as though she is happy to see me.

"Christian! How are you? How's Tara doing?" She fumbles with her bag as she steps out of the elevator. "I've been trying so hard to get here all day but, you know, glorious life of a company dancer... never enough hours in the day-"

I can't stop myself from snapping at her. "I thought they let you go!"

Her smile falters a little, and she stutters, "Well, n-nothing has been finalized yet. I've appealed my situation and the board has been thinking things over the past couple of weeks-"

"But it's not like you've had rehearsals or anything else that would make it hard to visit. Why are you even here Saskia?" I have to ask the question because it doesn't make any sense. Why is she here? I ask again in my head. This time her smile vanishes completely. We stand there eyeballing each other for a moment. She has to know what I think of her. She can't think that I have forgotten all the trouble she caused last year. That I would ever want to be her friend.

Eventually she recovers and asks, a confused look on her face, "I'm sorry Christian did I do something to offend you?"

Yes! I shout loudly in my head. You broke Tara's back! You treated her like dirt and didn't care how much you hurt her! She looked up to you and all you did was make her feel like a failure!

"No not at all," I say sarcastically, not really caring if I'm being rude. I don't want to be here anymore and she is in my way. Between my disastrous visit with Tara and this uncomfortable conversation, I would rather be in Sammy's studio scrubbing the floors with a toothbrush.

"Ok well... I should go see Tara," she says slowly. "But you take care Christian." She eyes me warily as she walks past, as though she expects me to shout at her again.

I think about it but instead reply dryly, "Yeah, you too." I watch her as she walks towards Tara's room. She goes in and I can't help my curiosity. I follow her, stopping just before I reach the door. Listening in, I can hear muffled laughter through the door. What? Tara was just crying and now she's laughing with Saskia as if everything is okay? What could Saskia have possibly said to make Tara so happy? Why would she even want to see Saskia? I know they were working together on Tara's audition piece, but have they gotten close to the point where Saskia is visiting her in the hospital?

Fire burns inside me. I can't put into words what I am feeling.

You're jealous, the voice says again.

I ignore it. Jealous? Of Saskia? Definitely not! Well, maybe a little. But can you blame me? I'm stuck out here while Saskia is in there monopolizing the only person I want to be with right now.

It should be me in there laughing with her and making her feel better. Not Saskia. Listening to them talk and joke, all I want to do is go in there and make Tara listen to what I have to say. But what good would it do? She obviously doesn't want to see me because if she did, she wouldn't have kicked me out in the first place. I had my chance and I blew it. I shouldn't have told her. I should have waited. Told her I hadn't decided yet.

Yeah, like that would have worked. Reluctantly, I head back to the elevators.

As I exit the hospital, I feel the breeze on my face and it helps me see things a little more clearly. I realize how hard it must have been for Tara to hear me tell her that I was turning down my contract with the company. She would give anything to dance for the company. I wish I could be like that. I want to want company, but I don't. Not even for her. And I would do anything for her. I would give anything for her to be happy. She deserves it, more than anyone else. Especially me. I wanted to tell her that. If only she had given me the chance. My decision feels incomplete, knowing that I don't have Tara's approval, unable to persuade her that my decision is for the best. Her approval means everything to me, as though it will help me make sense of the way things have turned out.

But if she wants to be left alone, then so be it. The more I think about it, the better it sounds. A part of me knows I'm being stupid, but I don't care. Maybe this just friends thing is for the best after all.

With this thought running through my mind, I am determined to see it through. I can only hope that I am strong enough - or stubborn enough, at least - not to give in. Maybe some time apart will be good. She has a long uphill battle ahead of her and if I'm serious about my career, I can't afford to have any distractions. There's more at stake than just Tara and me. Some things are more important. They have to be. If we want a future together, then we have to take care of the present first.

Good luck with that, the voice adds smugly. You've never been able to stay away from her in the past.

"Oh yeah?" I say defiantly. "Watch me."