"Now, of course you packed at least two parasols? I remember the sun in that region, simply abominable. And of course you'll want to pack food. I've discussed the local cuisine, and I doubt they could provide for your delicate…"

"Geesh, Maribelle! We'll be fine!"

"Nyahaha. Don't worry. I can hex away any little problems!"

Maribelle shook her head.

"I do worry, dear. Ylisse's greatest treasure… well. It would be a shame to lose you."

Lissa smiled as she climbed into the carriage .

"It's just a little while. We'll be fine. We didn't get a honeymoon the first time, and Henry had such nice stories."

"Oh, very well dear. I'll just spout a few dozen grey hairs. Hardly anything. Your brother and I can survive. Goodbye."

Henry stepped to the carriage after her when Maribelle grabbed his shoulder.

"And Henry?"

"What?"

"You know that I consider you a dear friend, and despite your eccentricities, I trust you with Lissa. You may not be… conventionally noble, but you have a certain nobility of spirit which is almost as valuable."

"Aw, shucks. I'm just a regular guy. I may like killing a little more, but…"

"But if one hair on Lissa's head is out of place at the end of this, your life is forfeit. Am I clear?"

"Nyahaha! She'll be fine. Cross my heart and hope to die!"

Maribelle winced.

"I fear that you hope to die already. Still, very well."

"Aw, why would I want to die? It would make Lissa cry, and Owain would worry. Nah, it's living for me. And for her!"

Henry stepped onto the carriage and smiled as it stormed south into the wilds. Yessir, life was good. He was a family man now, and a prince besides. He didn't see any of it coming. Just the killing was good enough a year ago, and now he had everything he could dream of!

Lissa was smiling at him. He smiled back. Well, he was always smiling, but he focused it all in Lissa's direction. She was worth it.

"Wow. We're going to see where you grew up. This is exciting."

"Don't get your hopes up too much. It wasn't too nice when I was growing up. And that was before I killed most of the people in it. Gosh, there was a lot of blood."

Lissa shivvered.

"Do you have to talk about that?"

"Aw, you brought it up."

"It's still… gross."

"Got it! No murder talk!"

"And, um…"

Lissa brushed her feet back and forth. Henry braced himself for a big question. He didn't know what the big question would be, exactly, but it was coming. It used to be that most people just asked if there was a way he could go, or if he'd kill someone. But Lissa never asked him for either. She was a whole forest of surprises, most of them pleasant, and Henry was ready for the next one.

"Yes?"

"Could you try not killing anyone while we're here?"

Another surprise. Not much of one, considering how Lissa felt about little birdies, the little frogs, the snakes… well, Lissa cared about a lot of things. It was part of why Henry loved her. But he would have to cope with a little less fun. Not a problem. If it would make Lissa happy, it was worth it.

"Got it! Maiming only!"

"Also no maiming?"

"Not even a little?"

"What would a little maiming be?"

"I dunno. A thumb? Maybe a toe? I guess you wouldn't like that either."

"No."

"Well, if it would make you happy, great! No serious injury for anyone."

"Including you."

Henry nodded and kept smiling. Well, he hadn't really thought about this situation before. But it would come up sometime. Good to get used to it now. Besides, Owain might not have the same hobbies. It was good to have more things to bond over if the need came up.

"Right-a-roonie! This is going to be a trip down memory lane. Figure most of what I remember has been burned down by now, what I didn't burn down then, but it'll still be great."

"Burned down."

"I told you the stories, didn't I?"

Lissa frowned.

"You did."

"Yeah. Good times. Or not so good times."

Henry shrugged.

"But they're all behind us. Smooth sailing from here on! Do you remember the time Chrom's bathwater turned into frogs?"

Lissa smiled again.

"He looked like he wanted to… croak. *snort*."

She giggled. Henry joined in. Yessir. For all the work you had to put in, married life was more than worth it.

They swapped stories and told awful jokes for the whole ride. Henry kept the older ones to a minimum, and skipped the bits with murders, maimings, and gruesome hideous fates for everyone involved. It still beat him how someone with as good a sense of humor as Lissa could miss the fun of them, but that was the point of married life. You gave up a little to gain a lot. Like this trip. Hour after hour, alone with the woman he loved. In exchange, hour after hour of not murdering or maiming anyone. Give and take.

It wasn't like he was the only one making sacrifices. Lissa spent more time in spooky crypts now than she ever liked, as an example right off the top of his head. Yes, this was all perfectly normal and no problem.

"Henry?"

He turned to his wife.

"Still breathing!"

"Your hand's twitching."

Henry looked down. So it was. Huh. Oh, right.

"Aw, that's just my murdering hand. It gets twitchy when I don't get to kill anyone. It's nothing to worry about. I can use the twitch for whittling."

"Both your hands are twitching."

"Well, I use both hands for murdering."

Lissa coughed.

"Could you… not talk about that?"

"Got it. No killing, no maiming, no making people bleed, and no talking about any of that. Just walking around where I grew up. And we're almost there."

The carriage rattled to a stop to correct him. They were there. Or, he was here. Home again, after all these years. He hadn't even seen his old village since he was, well, he hadn't really seen it since he was him. Too scared and too confused to count. Three wars, two of them in Plegia. Countless murders in every degree. Marriage. Deicide. Oh, that was going to be awkward to bring up. He'd never been orthodox, but assisting in the murder of your god was not something you were supposed to do when there was a state religion.

All the same, a tiny part of him was still awkward. Like all those years would go away the second he touched the ground. No education to remind him how many ways there were to kill someone with a hex. No wars to tell him how easily everyone died, and help him enjoy the fact. No Lissa.

No Lissa was the worst thought of the whole set. It would be easy to stop on the steps and just wobble for a bit with all the bad memories flashing back.

Or it would if Lissa didn't shove him into the mud. Ah, married life. Too busy being distracted by each other to notice your own baggage. It was the best thing that could happen to a guy like him.

It was probably a good sign there was mud. It meant the rains were good. Then again, he'd always heard that blood in the ground meant water in the sky. Old folk saying! And man, after the last couple years…

Henry dragged himself out from the mud to look at Lissa. She seemed to have something on her mind.

"Er… Henry?"

"Yeah?"

"Where are all the people?"

"Dead, probably! Plegia really took a beating when the Shepherds went through it. The first war left everybody who wasn't dead tired plain old dead, and then we had another! Small towns like this probably don't have a tenth of the people they used to. And this is probably one of the less devastated places."

Lissa shivvered.

"Not what I wanted to think about on a romantic vacation."

"I'm guessing you don't want to find a grave to desecrate either?"

"No!"

"Good thing I planned for you being so picky. There's plenty of vacancies around here. We can just move into somewhere for the night. Not like they'll have much room to complain, and I know we can find something cozy."

"And it wouldn't be stealing."

Lissa smiled. Henry knew the smile pretty well by now. She was just reassuring herself that whatever she was about to do was 100% called for. Usually right before Robin or Chrom came running after her yelling something.

"Of course not! I'd want people to take my things after I died."

"Don't you… curse them?"

"Nyahahahaha! That's part of the fun."

It took them less than five minutes of searching before they found a house that fit the rough criteria for the trip. Empty for long enough no-one had to feel guilty, not so empty it was filled with an excess of insects. Upper class enough to be pleasant, but not so rich the owners felt a need to show how much more religious they were than everyone else, really, in the form of skulls and creepy dark magic paraphernalia. It took even less time to unpack and colonize the place. A little wind magic cleaned out any smells, and the bedrolls were proof against everything short of a risen attack. A light hex gave them a lock to ensure no-one else would repeat the theft, and they were out the door.

Lissa smiled.

"I can't wait to see all the places you grew up."

"Most of them burned down."

"You said that already. Still, you must have had friends…"

"Nope! Just the wolf. She was killed."

"School?"

"Miles from here! My parents sent me there so they'd never have to see me again. So far, it worked!"

Lissa sighed.

"Your parent's home?"

"Well, they're probably dead by now. I think mom REALLY had a thing for Grima. Turned out she shouldn't have done that, since he's dead now and ate everybody worshipping him first. Still, no harm in checking."

"Oh my gosh that's terrible!"

"Guess so! Nyahahaha."

"I never knew my parents, but…"

"You weren't missing out on much."

Henry smiled as broad as he could. Really, why should Lissa worry about something like that? He was doing great. Better than great! Letting a bummer like dead parents into things wouldn't do anyone any good.

"Still, you had to feel something about them. I mean, they were..."

"Nope! Nothing! Hadn't even thought about 'em until today."

Lissa shook her head.

"That's also kind of terrible. In a different way. We really should go look for them."

"You're the boss! Just give the orders, and off we march!"

Lissa smiled.

"I'm sure we'll find them in no time."

Five hours later, Lissa was doubled over and panting. Henry was flat on his back.

"Okay. We didn't find them yet. Or anyone who knew where they'd be. Or anyone willing to be helpful."

"I was helpful! I know just how to make people cooperate. Just one little hex, and their skin would be crawling so hard they'd beg to help us with anything we asked."

"And I asked you not to do that. We're trying to be nice to people."

"I know. I just thought you'd like to know. In case you change your mind. I mean, that's why I told Robin about all the fun and creative uses for Risen, even though there was no way he was going to use them. Plus, it meant he was ready when anyone else tried 'em."

"Thank you. But I don't think so."

Lissa stood up again and stretched.

"We can check one more house, right? Then we go back."

"Sounds great!"

Henry paused midway through his stretch from the ground to his feet.

"Still no hexes, right?"

"Still no hexes."

"Fine. Sounds fun anyway!"

Henry followed Lissa to the door of another boring old house, less abandoned looking than the average. Of course, there was always a chance bandits had killed whoever lived here, or it was just chance it looked a little less awful, or any number of other things, but you had to be optimistic. For Lissa's sake, really, since Henry was happy with any of the outcomes.

Lissa knocked.

"Hello."

The door stayed shut.

"Go away."

"I just wanted to ask a question!"

"In a Ylissean accent. I know what you really want. And you're lucky that I don't have my bow out."

"Err… what do I really want?"

"To steal everything we have, burn our houses to the ground, and destroy our places of worship. I thought the first three times would have been good enough for you. I guess I was wrong."

"You're wrong right now! I just want…"

Henry stepped forward and leaned over next to Lissa.

"Let me handle it."

"No hexes."

"Of course not!"

"No stabbing. No maiming."

"Right!"

Henry knocked on the door.

"I told you already…"

"Nope! It's not her."

"Then you…"

"I had a question too. Have you heard stories about a silver haired mage?"

"Maybe. And maybe I don't have time for a traitor like you who'd sell out his countrymen for a little coin."

"Nyahaha! I didn't defect for money! I just liked seeing blood go spraying everywhere!"

"Oh. Oh, gods. Oh gods oh gods oh…"

Henry tapped his feet to the rhythm for a little while as the man gibbered. After a few more seconds, he interrupted.

"Nah. I'm not here to kill you! Just was back in town and thought I should catch up with my parents. They may have been deadbeats, but I have a duty as a son."

"Whatever you say! I can lead you right to them! Just don't hurt me! Please! I have a son…"

"Funny, so do I!"

"See? We can bond. As parents. Please don't hurt me."

Lissa glared at Henry. He smiled back.

"Don't worry. I promised Lissa that I wouldn't commit any murder for now. "

The man opened the door a crack, and Henry looked in. He vaguely remembered the man. The night his wolf friend was killed, on the fringes of the mob, there was another man who looked just like him. Well, give or take a few dozen pounds, the war was not kind to the man's eating habits.

Oh, this wasn't one of the people directly guilty. Not directly.

But he was there, and he drove them on. Was one of the rotten wave of monsters who took away…

Henry looked down. His murder hands were twitching again. Just a year ago, this place would be awash in blood already. It was someone's lucky day. Just not his.

"So. You're going to tell me where to find my parents, right?"

"Whatever you say! Grima have mercy!"

"He didn't when we killed him!"

The man's jaw dropped and his eyes faded.

"Of course you did. Of course you traitors did that on top of…"

He looked down at Henry's twitching hand reaching for a dagger. After a second, the man gulped.

"Of course that was the right choice. Sir. Follow me. I mean, if there's nothing else you would rather do!"

"Not right now!"

Henry's smile was fixed. Yes. This was a good day anyway. He was happy! Even if he couldn't kill anyone, or make them pay for what they did…

Well, there had to be some reason to be happy. Maybe someone would stab him when he got to wherever the man was leading him. Nothing like blood!

Lissa didn't look so happy. She'd probably be less happy if stabbing started. For all the benefits of married life, there were times when Henry missed being a bachelor. Well, time if he was honest with himself. Right now.

After a few minutes of following the man through the back woods, pausing for a little while to give a reassuring smile every time he just curled up and started whimpering or to reassure Lissa that he wasn't actually planning any murders at the moment, they found a small indentation in a rock wall. The man they were following tapped on it a few times, then shoved it.

"They should be right..."

Henry looked at the man's face. Well. Whatever should have been here wasn't. Unless it was an open mouthed look of shock, in which case things were right on track.

The man turned towards Henry.

"They were here, I swear!"

Henry smiled. The man started sweating.

"Gods below, I would never... I know what you do to people that got on your bad side!"

Henry smiled even more.

"Gosh, I can't even remember everything I did. And I didn't know most of the people I did it to!"

"You don't need to remember me. Just... just let me go. I swear I won't warn anyone. I won't say anything!

"Do you remember, oh, about ten years ago? There was this big old wolf. Nice, cuddly, didn't cause any trouble..."

Lissa took a step forward.

"Uh, Henry?"

"Just a minute."

"Do you know each other?"

"Not really. He was just one of the townsfolk. Not very nice to me, but that was fairly normal. Wasn't it?"

The man gasped.

"Whatever you say! Please..."

"He also didn't do anything when hunters killed a friend of mine. Which he really should have. Shouldn't you?"

"Yes! Definitely! I should have... look, whatever you want me to do, I'll do it! I'll..."

Lissa glared at Henry.

"I thought we were going to meet with your parents. I don't think..."

Lissa paused waiting for a name. The man blurted something out.

"Albert!"

"I don't think Albert knows anything. I'm sure he'd like to go back to his family."

Henry shrugged.

"Fine. Just go quickly. You don't want them to worry about you."

Albert started running. Lissa turned towards the retreating dust cloud.

"Thank you for your help!"

Henry kept smiling. Lissa was not smiling.

"Henry?"

"Yeah?"

"You promised not to kill anyone."

"And I didn't! I didn't maim, stab, poke, prod, or directly threaten."

"You didn't directly threaten..."

"Exactly! Everything's fine and dandy!"

"No it isn't. If you just want to leave, that would be fine."

"Aw, but we just got here!"

Lissa frowned a little more. Henry shrugged.

"Well, if that's the way you feel..."

"CAW!"

Henry looked up. Well, wasn't that a pleasant surprise! A crow, right there. And here he was thinking that he wouldn't meet anyone he remembered with any degree of fondness back here.

He turned back towards Lissa.

"Can this wait? I've got to get CAWt up with some old friends!"

"I'm not sure..."

"Thanks!"

"You're welcome?"

Henry turned back towards the crow.

"So, what's new?"

"CAW!"

Henry laughed. That was JUST what he was expecting. Even bloodier, if that was possible, but otherwise just what he was expecting. Classic!

"Nyahaha! No kidding! Lissa, can you believe that?"

Lissa smiled.

"There's a lot about you I have trouble believing."

"Nyahaha! Don't worry. I have trouble too. I guess that might be the CAWs of some of the issues around here!"

"CAW"

"Thanks!"

The raven flew off.

Lissa's face skewed.

"What did he say?"

"Oh. She just saw that we were looking for my parents, and she saw them running off. Gave pretty good directions, as the crow flies. It would be rude not to take the help."

"Well, I don't want to be impolite."

"Not with crows, anyway! They might peck out your eyeballs."

Lissa winced.

"That's not as funny as you'd like it to be."

"Oh, I wasn't joking! Crows are really harsh about manners."

"I don't like some of your friends."

"Aw, they're not so bad once you get to CROW them!"

Lissa snorted. Nothing like a bad pun to get things back on track.

It didn't take long to follow the directions through some woods, across some hastily covered tracks, and over a river to find a middle aged couple crouched behind a tree.

"It's not like anyone saw him. There's no way to know... and he didn't come back. If he wanted to do anything, he could have come years ago. He's probably dead anyway."

The woman shuddered.

"He can't die. He just can't die. He said he was our son, but I wouldn't... that thing can't be mine. He stole my baby."

"The priests said..."

The man sighed.

"He can't have followed us. That's what's important. We're safe."

Henry stepped forward.

"Heya!"

He could hear their hearts stop.

"Lissa, meet mom and dad. Mom and dad, Lissa."

His mother was still on the ground, curled up in terror. His father was scrambling back.

"Grima preserve us."

"Aw, I thought you knew already. He's dead! Helped do it myself. You could say his prospects look... GRIMA! Nyahaha."

His father's eyes snapped wide. Henry smiled more than usual. He'd picked up his lazy eyes from his dad. If the old man's eyes were open, he'd really struck a nerve.

"Grima is above us! Grima holds the paths of the world between his claws, cleansing the unworthy and bringing forth..."

"Mostly he just wanted to kill everyone."

"That was a test for the worthy!"

"Nope. He just liked killing people. Really, you'd think we'd get along great. Buuut..."

Henry shrugged. He was still smiling. Of course, now he was back, it was a little more effort to keep smiling. He kept having those frustrating memories of his parents. Like when he was talking to a snake, and they killed it. The time they hit him for talking to crows. The way they looked at him when he cast his first hex.

Oh, he'd hated the hunters who killed the wolf. Killed most of them too, and he didn't feel bad about that at all. But that was one thing. One big moment of blood, then a little longer spent in gleeful bloody retribution. His parents, well, he'd had a pretty bad childhood. That was years of misery, and not a moment of bloodshed in return. Heck, they'd boxed him up and shipped him out safe and happy!

"What do you want? Why are you here?"

His father was almost sobbing now. His mother was muttering prayers. If he didn't know better, he'd say they were suffering enough to get on with. Thinking about it, there might not be such a thing.

"Well, I got hitched. I thought my loving parents would want to know. I guess I could ask if you saw any!"

"Gods. What woman was mad enough not to kill herself and…"

Lissa took a step closer.

"Hello."

"That's not a nice way to talk to your daughter in law."

For a second, disgust overwhelmed his father's fear.

"Oh. Exalted blood trash. You had to shame us on top of everything else. Naga sent you. Naga sent both of you to pollute the world."

Lissa frowned.

"Uh, Henry, I think we should leave."

Henry didn't look away from his father.

"But you wanted to meet my family."

"We can give them a card? There's a pond near here. You know you like frogs!"

"Always have! I remember when I brought one home. Mom and dad were HOPPING MAD. They locked me in the basement for a day! Didn't you?"

His father glared. Eyes open.

"Do you want me to beg, monster?"

"Well, an apology would be a start."

"You'll get nothing."

Henry smiled a little more.

"No, I think I'll get what I really want."

"What?"

"The screams you make as you bleed in agony. Just a second. This will be neat!"

What spell, what spell? Henry ran through his mental list. Man, there were so many he hadn't used in years! Some turned people inside out, some made them just spew a fountain of blood, and some…

something was calling his name. Someone. Right. Lissa wouldn't want him to kill people. He'd promised.

He could make it up to her later. He said something to that effect, and returned to thinking through his spells. Oh, that hex was a good one! Slow, but oh so painful!

"Henry!"

"Don't worry. They deserve it!"

"What would I tell Owain?"

"Tell him…"

Henry stopped. What would he tell his son? It would be bad enough with the older Owain. Telling him how his father, his hero, just murdered his grandparents in cold blood. It wouldn't sound good. But it would be worse the second time around. Lissa might not think he was ideal father material after this, and even if she let him be a father to his son (and he would be so good at it) he'd have to explain why he killed people. Not just that he did, there was no way he was going to avoid THAT conversation at some point, but the why… it meant dwelling on the bad times and poisoning the good ones. Hard to convince someone that you just liked killing things when they heard about, well, this.

Henry sighed, and for half a second, he stopped smiling.

"Tell him that visiting his grandparents wouldn't be worth the trip. No, wait! Tell him I was raised by a wolf. She was a better parent than they were anyway."

He turned away from his parents and walked towards his wife. Lissa took up the second of smile Henry missed.

"I guess we're leaving. I'm sorry it didn't work out with your parents."

"Aw, who needs 'em? I have all the family I could want already."

(Author's notes: And here we are, shorter and later as promised. Sorry about that. Story's the first one of the set not to focus on either one of the kids or Robin, so if that's not to your liking, sorry about that too. Also sorry if it just wasn't that good. Otherwise, hope you enjoyed.

Basic idea this time started with Henry promising Lissa that he wouldn't kill anyone for a nice, relaxing vacation, followed immediately by assassins, kidnappers, and other people with a grudge deciding that this was the right time to take some action, leaving Henry in a position where he'd have to manage things without his usual toolset all while keeping things from Lissa to avoid ruining things. But somehow, that just... didn't work out. Thus, this.

Next time's probably going to be a longer one, which might mean even more of a delay. But until then, thanks for reading, and lets be careful out there.)