A/N: Sorry it's been so long. Here it is.

TW: Alcohol

For a while there was only a buzzing wasn't dreaming, nor was she awake. Just buzzing. It was like a swarm of bees in the distance - close enough to hear, but far enough so the sound was dull." Everything felt dull. Numb, almost like she had pins and needles in her head. She wasn't sure her consciousness still inhabited her body, but something about that buzzing was keeping her tethered.

Maybe she was dead. Maybe that dream was her brain's way of shielding her from the physical pain as she drifted away. If that were the case, she reached a shitty afterlife.

Bees? Really? The buzzing was already irritating. Was she going to be damned to a mild annoyance for all eternity? Whatever higher power was out there was punishing her. She certainly thought she deserved it. In a way, it felt like she killed Cedric by her own failure act. Her failure to change his fate - to change anything, quite frankly. Maybe this was hell and she was going to spend eternity battling her intrusive thoughts endlessly... and the buzzing.

That stupid buzzing. It hummed at a frequency that made her ears start to hurt. Wait...her ears hurt. Pain erupted everywhere, all at once and her eyes shot open. Everything was blurry, but several shadowy figures loomed over her. She blinked her eyes furiously, but her sight did not improve. She groaned as every muscle throbbed in time with her heartbeat. The buzzing was so high-pitched it made her shudder, causing a new ripple of pain to course through her. Through the noise she heard a muffled,"Merlin's beard!"

Someone was lifting her head and she wished she could scream at them to stop, but she couldn't find her voice. Instead, what came out was a strangled sounding whimper.

A cool, minty liquid was poured into her mouth and Athena did her best to swallow it. It was a Doloriate potion. She recognized the bitter aftertaste. She must have been in pretty bad shape if they were giving her the same pain relief they gave to victims of severing and severe splinches. The benefit of this particular brew was its near immediate effect. The searing pain in her body dulled to a throb and the infernal buzzing ceased, but her vision was still hazy. She could make out certain details despite the impairment like the flickering of candles against stone walls, the ugly white beds of the Hospital Wing, and the desperate looking freckled face of Charlie Weasley that hovered over her. His grassy green eyes were anguished as they searched her face. He still had an arm behind her shoulders, keeping her upright.

"Welcome back, Ms. Mayall." The voice of Hogwarts's resident healer tore Athena's focus from Charlie. "Gave us quite the scare there. Drink this," she ordered thrusting a cloudy lavender potion towards Athena. "For the internal injuries, dear. An unforgivable curse does more damage than we see with our eyes." She gave Athena a stern, but condoling look.

Athena reached for the potion cursing the shake in her arm that was still very sore. She hadn't seen a potion like this before. It was viscous and had a vaguely floral smell, like lilacs in spring. She slowly brought the vial to her lips. She winced at the taste, soapy and sweet, and tried to swallow as quickly as possible.

"Unpleasant, l know," Madam Pomfrey said with sympathy, "but necessary." The medi-witch took the empty vial and turned to walk away. "Mr. Weasley, please wait with Ms. Mayall and make sure she does not fall asleep for at least one hour."

"Yes, Madam Pomfrey..." Charlie sounded like a soldier taking orders. With a curt nod in the healer's direction, he looked the part too. He eased Athena back onto the pillows and removed his arm. She immediately missed the absence of it, keeping her secure. He didn't stray far at all and conjured a plush looking armchair next to her cot.

Neither of them said anything for several minutes, but Athena could feel Charlie's eyes on her, not in anger but something else. It made her feel guiltier than she already felt. Like she'd somehow hurt him too. When she finally turned to look at him, he was wiping a tear from his eyes. They were so green, like fresh cut grass on a quidditch pitch.

"Charlie," she croaked. Her throat felt rough and sandpapery but there was so much she needed to know since she'd left him in the stands. Had she screwed everything up? "Harry?" The last time she saw him was with the psychopath Barty Crouch. Jr.

"Safe. He's with Dumbledore." The fatigue in his voice matched his face. He looked as if he'd run a marathon, then pulled an all-nighter. His hair was ruffled as if he'd been running his hands through it too. Athena managed to nod in response.

Charlie adjusted himself, leaning forward in the chair. "Athena," he started sounding unsure, "there's something you need to know." The heaviness in her chest sank to her gut like an anchor hitting the seafloor. She already knew what he was going to say, but that didn't mean it would be easy to hear.

"Cedric is dead." There it was. The hot sting of tears filled her eyes while her heart felt like it was being drained slowly.

"l... l know." Her voice was hoarse and thick with emotion. She gave Charlie a meaningful look. "I tried to save him, but l-l-l...I was too late." He brought one of his hands to her cheeks, wiping away several tears. "Athena, it's not your fault." The warmth of his tone matched the warmth of the calloused hand cradling her face."From what Harry said, no one could have. It was-"

"The Killing Curse," she finished for him.

Athena saw surprise flash in his features, but that didn't keep him from continuing. "Yeah. It was-"

"Voldemort." Charlie winced at the name. Athena forgot that in this part of the world, the name was unspeakable for many. It was its own kind of curse to them. One that would haunt so many for years to come. Voldemort was responsible for the deaths of so many mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, friends, lovers..

A few moments passed by, but his eyes stayed on hers, their gaze broken by the sound of the doors to the Hospital Wing opening. Athena was too weak to lift her head more than a few inches from her pillow, but even then, Charlie blocked her view. The dragon keeper looked over his shoulder toward the open doors. The tension in his shoulders eased slightly before turning back to Athena. He gave her a half-smile. "It's Harry."

A few seconds later, the Boy Who Lived was at the end of her bed, still covered in dirt and dried blood. His mouth was open slightly, like he wanted to say something but the words wouldn't come out. Athena's vision was still too blurry to see his face in clear detail.

He walked around to the free side of her bed. A dark shadow followed him at his knees. As he got closer, the shadow became clearer and took the shape of a dog. Sirius.

Athena's eyes shot to Harry's with shock. It was mighty bold to have a wanted man in the castle when Aurors were still roaming the grounds. Harry looked down at the dog with a smirk. "Professor Dumbledore made an exception just for tonight for my, uh, 'emotional support animal.'" Sirius made a chuffing sound that sounded an awful lot like laughter and rested his chin on the bed, wagging his tail proudly. Athena stroked the dark fur of his head, which Siruis leaned into gratefully.

"You look awful," Athena croaked, straining what remained of her voice. Harry rolled his eyes and pointed at her. "Pot." He pointed at himself. "Kettle." That earned a chuckle from Charlie. Harry's head snapped to the ginger wizard, forgetting he was there.

"Alright, Charlie?" Harry nodded at him in greeting. Charlie returned the gesture. "A bit better than you by the look of it. I'll go fetch Madam Pomfrey." Charlie gave Athena's arm a gentle squeeze before standing up to find the healer.

"Harry..." she reached out with a trembling hand. They had so much to talk about. He looked okay, but she knew that couldn't be true with what he'd witnessed that night. Cedric. Voldemort. Crouch. It was a wonder he was able to walk in here on his own two feet. The young wizard took her hand in his. "Not here. Not yet." he said, looking around warily. If Harry felt that he couldn't speak openly, there must have been a reason. She nodded. Harry gave her hand a squeeze. "I promise."

Her eyelids felt heavier with every blink and darkness started creeping in. She drifted off just as Madam Pomfrey began to fuss over Harry. This time she let the darkness take her.

Athena woke up to the sound of raised voices. The world was still fuzzy but she could see that several individuals in dark robes were hastily walking away, leaving a cluster of witches and wizards yelling after them. Of the crowd that remained, Athena identified the distinct accent of Gryffindor's head of house. "Albus! Dementors on the grounds! Again?" McGonagall announced. "The students!"

"The Dementors will be returning to Azkaban shortly, Minerva. They have what they came for" the headmaster replied, directing the comment in the direction of Athena's bed. No, not hers, the one next to her, where a large pile of fur peeked out from under the bed. Sirius' grey eyes were narrowed in annoyance. As a fugitive of Azkaban, Dementors anywhere in the vicinity meant bad news for him. He didn't growl or draw attention to himself, but the very human look on his canine features said enough about how he felt.

Harry was sitting on top of the hospital neighboring hers looking angrily at the table between them. A sizable brown leather pouch was there. Harry looked at it like it was a bomb about to detonate. Athena sat up slowly, ignoring the soreness in her body protesting the action. Harry's emerald eyes burned with rage.

"My winnings," he spat ,"Fudge felt the need to deliver it himself after ordering dementors to give Crouch the Kiss."

A chill swept through her and all of the air seemed to leave her lungs. "No." It came out as little more than a whisper. It wasn't the first time Cornelius Fudge would allow an unsanctioned execution, and based on her knowledge, it wouldn't be the time it meant that Crouch Jr. would not face trial for kidnapping the real Alastor Moody, committing fraud on the Goblet of Fire, accessory to Cedric's murder, or for the role he played in returning Voldemort to power.

Voldemort. With Crouch Jr. gone, Voldemort would rise to power again in the shadows - just as he did in her past, now her future. Her chest squeezed tightly. She had failed spectacularly.

Athena turned to the professors, noticing Snape for the first time. He was rolling a sleeve down over a dark inky blotch on his forearm, a tattoo,not just any tattoo: the Dark Mark. The Potions Master could be cruel and callous, but never seemed to be an extremist. Sure, he was an asshole, but by Athena's observation he was an equal opportunity asshole. She couldn't help but wonder how Dumbledore could allow someone that followed one of the darkest wizards of all time to teach at Hogwarts. Things would get even more controversial because that dark wizard was back. Voldemort was back. She must have had a visible reaction to the revelation because the death eater in question turned his gaze on her.

"Do they teach eavesdropping at llvermorny, Mayall or is that just an American trait?" Her eyes narrowed, which only served to obscure her sight even further.

"Were you taught to be a blood purist," Athena snapped back, nodding to Snape's left arm,"or is that a bigot thing?" A low chuffing sound came from underneath Harry's cot. At least Sirius found this amusing.

Snape's glare moved from Athena to the scruffy looking dog. "It's not too late to recall those dementors. I'm sure they'd be interested in recovering another...lost soul." Sirius growled, peeking his head out from under the bed to return the glare.

"Severus, that's enough," Dumbledore chided."Please see that the Durmstrang delegation has returned to their ship. It is my understanding that Mr. Karkaroff has fled the grounds." Snape held Sirius' glare for a moment before abruptly turning to the door, his black robes billowing out behind him as he went.

"So dramatic," Athena muttered, earning a chuckle from Harry.

"Minerva?" Dumbledore turned to the Transfiguration professor, "I believe Molly and young Bill Weasley are waiting outside my office, could you collect them?" She gave a curt mod and set off. The sound of her heels softly clicking across the stone floors grew more faint until Athena could no longer hear them.

Of course the Weasleys were still here, they were worried about Harry. And Charlie... Athena looked to her left. He was still here too... she hadn't realized it. He hadn't left her side this whole time. He was sitting quietly in the chair he conjured, fists clenched and staring at the spot where Snape had been.

"Charlie?" Athena asked, placing a hand on Charlie's tense forearm." You okay?" It took a second for those mossy green eyes to refocus." ... a lot to take in." She felt some of the muscles in his forearms begin to relax.

She felt a dip in the corner of the bed. Dumbledore was perched by her feet looking solemn. She didn't want to look at him. Part of her blamed him for Cedric's murder, she probably always would. There was so much more he could have done to protect him. But on the other hand, he'd also been fooled by Barty Crouch, Jr. posing as Mad Eye Moody. Maybe Dumbledore had tried to do more and just like Athena had, he'd put his faith in the wrong person...

There was a lingering tension despite the room's silence. Even after Bill & Mrs. Weasley arrived, there was still heaviness in the air. The matriarch fussed over Harry while Bill went to stand by his brother's side next to Athena's bed. The eldest Weasley brother gave her a sorrowful look. "You alright?" he asked, knowing full well she was not. Part of her wanted to bite his head off for even asking because her eyes began to water and sting once more.

"Oh bollocks, l'm sorry I-l didn't-" Bill sputtered as a fresh stream of tears flowed down her cheeks. "I'm an idiot, l am sorry Athena."

"Don't worry," she sniffled,"Madam Pomfrey can fix me up. Don't think there's a cure for you though." Bill gaped at her, feigning a hurt look before laughing. "Glad to see your sense of humor wasn't damaged." He gave her a cheeky wink.

Even Dumbledore appeared to enjoy the verbal sparring before turning a serious face on the group. "We must hold each other close in times when people seek to divide us." The older wizard's hazy blue eyes scanned over the room. "Especially now, we must come together against a common enemy, because tonight an old enemy has returned." He paused on Harry, then on Athena. "Lord Voldemort is back."

It was foolish to think she could change was foolish and arrogant. She was foolish. She was arrogant. She believed at 18 years old, she could change the course of history.

The more she thought about it, the more ridiculous it sounded. After all, who was she? No one. What did she do? Nothing. Nothing except get her stupid little heart broken because she was foolish enough to get involved and cocky enough to think it would work. She flew too close to the sun and was suffering the consequences.

This was not how she envisioned her last days at Hogwarts - wallowing in her own misery. Well, trying to wallow. Amelia made it her personal mission to "distract" Athena from the pain any way she could, but the thing about grief is that it never really goes away, it's everywhere all the time. Sometimes it's big and all-consuming and sometimes it's small, achy like a sore muscle, but it's still there. As much as she appreciated Amelia's efforts, they weren't very effective. At least not until their very last night at school. Martin had "sourced '' several bottles of firewhisky from Hogsmeade to celebrate graduation.

A handful of Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and Gryffindor seventh years were gathered in an empty Arithmancy classroom near the Astronomy Tower. Where Amelia had been nursing her glass of firewhisky, Athena was finishing her fourth double-shot of the spiced amber liquid, reveling in the pleasant numbness that finally began to creep up her temples. No one said anything to her, but she caught more than one of her classmates giving her a look of pity. She hated that look, one that made her feel like she was an injured animal. Yes, she was in pain, but she was not fragile like a vase, prone to shattering: she was fragile like a bomb, and any more of those looks threatened to light the fuse.

She downed the remainder of her glass, focusing on the trail of warmth that followed the alcohol down her throat into her chest and settling in her stomach. She wouldn't explode... yet. She crossed the room to refill her glass trying to ignore the disapproving look Amelia gave her. Martin had been tugging her towards the center of the room where several others were dancing to an enchanted phonograph playing a jazzy tune.

"Go," Athena instructed, nodding in the direction of the dancers."I'll be fine." 'Just because l'm miserable doesn't mean you have to be', she thought. The distraction also meant Athena could be alone without Amelia hovering over her for the first time since she left the Hospital Wing.

She took the opportunity to sneak away from the party briefly. She passed a few couples embracing in the shadowy parts of the hallway as she made her way to a spiral staircase leading to one of the several observation decks on the Astronomy Tower. A cool breeze swept through telescopes and barometers making the metal ring like chimes. The sound was eerily beautiful and-provided an unusual serenade as she looked at the stars. She took another gulp of firewhisky while her eyes traced constellations.

"Alcohol is not permitted on school grounds," a soft voice chided. She didn't have to look away from the stars of the Northern Crown to know it was the headmaster.

Athena downed the remainder of her glass. "No alcohol here,headmaster." She vanished the empty glass with a flick of her wand. "Anymore," she whispered under her breath.

"Hmm, l see," he responded, sounding amused. He joined her at the metal rail of the balcony to look up at the night sky. Stars peppered the vast navy and purple airspace. "There's an old Irish saying, 'the stars are not loud,' but l've always found that they speak to us, even when we may not be listening."

She fought the overwhelming urge to roll her eyes. What did that have to do with anything? Maybe he was just a senile old man that thought he was being profound? "And what are they telling you, headmaster?" She tried not to sound too derisive.

"You tell me," he prodded. She raised a brow and gave Dumbledore a skeptical look. "Humor me, Ms. Mayall." He wasn't offended by her discourtesy or her obvious drunkenness.

She turned her gaze back to the sky. It was strange, it looked like the same sky she grew up with... in the future. The past? Her past. That would never feel right to say or think. But there they were - the same stars she saw as a child: here, now. Unchanged. Was that the message? That no matter how hard she tried to change things, they wouldn't? That nothing she did had any effect? Was she doomed to watch history repeat itself in real-time? Helpless to change a single thing? No. She wouldn't accept that. Fuck the stars.

When she looked down again Dumbledore had his eyes closed, but she saw his lip twitch with mirth, as if he heard her say the words aloud. Maybe she had and did not realize, she did have five whiskies... "I think l got the message, Professor." She gave the sky another glance. If she blinked any sooner, she would've missed a streak of light zip across the horizon. "It would seem so," he mused, glassy blue eyes twinkling despite the darkness that surrounded them. "Now, Athena, tell me what you know of the Order of the Phoenix."