"Of course, that emotional outburst was completely out of keeping with our stations. I expect you, in the future, to reserve your tears for… appropriate occasions."
Brady tilted his head.
"Like when, ma?"
"A single tear at state funerals, and possibly some light misting at your wedding, should we find a woman willing to look past your… unfortunate exterior. I'm sure you'll have my example soon enough of proper behavior in a state of union. Until then, we will study the appropriate guidebooks."
Maribelle smiled. She had her worries that she would be unable to find time for a suitable suitor with all the time spent to sort out Ylisse's obsolete and inane legal system. But here he was. Her son from the future.
She would have to set the old fantasies about Chrom aside, of course. The man was happily married already, and Lucina was proof that war wouldn't tear them asunder and leave him in need of comforting.
But there were a number of other gentlemen around the camp who had potential, of a kind. Virion was noble, in his fashion, and seemed to have wit somewhere under his foppish exterior. The lad Donnel was a diamond in the rough. Of course, that would mean marrying below her station, but uplifting the common stock had value as well. And of course, there was Libra. The man's features were simply perfection, and the heart underneath was nearly as good. Whoever the bachelor was, Maribelle had trust in her future self's judgement.
"Hey! There's pops!"
Maribelle turned.
"First of all, Brady, you will refer to your esteemed father with the appropriate level of decorum. Second…"
Oh.
Oh no.
"Second, Brady, where is the gentleman you are referring to? I'm certain your father would not wish to be confused with the lout in front of us."
"Nah. That's him, right there. Didn't get to know him as well as I'da liked before he kicked the bucket, but there ain't much chance of confusing him with anyone else."
Maribelle sighed.
She could correct her son's grammar, of course. She could protest the impossibility of all of this nonsense. Or she could admit the simple truth.
"No. There isn't."
Across the room, her future husband belched.
Maribelle shook her head.
"Do you have any further details on how I come to marry… 'The Vaike'?"
"You mean you and pops ain't gotten hitched yet?"
"I cannot say that I have had the… pleasure of holy matrimony."
"Great. Don't I feel like a prime melvin! Lucina says to try and keep from jawin' about the future unless it's somethin' important, and I spill those kinda beans? Guess I can't do anything right today."
"Well, now that you've given so many details…"
"I ain't said nothin'! Forget all about it! You and pops didn't hear it from me."
And Brady dashed off before Maribelle could ask another question. Just as well with the disastrous information he'd given her already, but Maribelle had held hope that he could have blunted the blow a touch. Pity.
Once again, she would have to rely on herself. If her son was a disappointment, if the future held the promise of disaster? Well! The whole reason her son returned to the past was to prevent things from going wrong. She could trust herself with that responsibility.
The first step…
Maribelle shuddered.
The first step would be talking to Vaike. He couldn't think any better of this arrangement than she did. After all, he was a pig. A vulgarian. A commoner in the most derogatory sense. It would make no sense for him to desire… her.
It would be like the animals at a feeding trough demanding fine caviar. Madness. The social order might break down entirely in Lucina's time, but at the present it was still intact, and Maribelle was going to preserve it!
She took a deep breath to keep her air unpolluted by The Vaike's stench as long as she could, and walked across the field towards the man who insisted on referring to himself as "Teach".
"The Vaike?"
"Oh, hey Maribelle. Just trying to take a look at The Vaike's goods? Because I gotta tell ya, Teach may be on the market, but…"
"Honestly, I would prefer not to hear the details of your romantic life or the lack thereof. In fact, I could live a long and happy life without ever discussing any aspect of your existence again."
Vaike looked confused. (Then again, that was his usual modus operandi. Vaike had never mastered such basic concepts as 'shirts' and 'bathing'. Expecting him to grasp the intricacies of communication with those above him in the social standings, a task which took Maribelle years to master, was not reasonable by anyone's standards.)
"Then why are you talking to the Vaike? Don't say you've fallen for me!"
"I was saying the exact opposite. Clearly, I somehow overestimated your intellectual capability."
"People go around estimating the Vaike all the time!"
"I can see that. Let me cut things short. It appears… in the future…"
Maribelle sucked in another breath. A mistake, as it carried the distinctive scent of Vaike. She coughed.
Vaike looked even more confused.
"In the future *cough*?"
Maribelle rolled her eyes.
"In the future we will… urgh. Have intimate relations."
"Huh?"
"Engage in… coitus. You and I will… how would you put it?"
"Put what?"
"How would you put… *ugh* the fact that our future selves had a son together."
"Well, I'd put it right in! Haw!"
Vaike slapped his knee. Maribelle glared. Vaike stopped laughing and straightened his stance.
"See, it was a joke."
"I am well aware."
"Thought you'd laugh, then. Guess even teach can learn something from time to time?"
"I could write volumes on the things you don't know. I still doubt you would learn anything. But none of that matters. We. Have. A. Son."
"Can't be mine. I always keep a dragon scale in my pocket! Everyone knows…"
Maribelle shook her head. She would never understand "folk wisdom" no matter how valiantly Donnel tried to explain it.
"No. Brady."
"What? The tough lookin' priest? Haw! Chip off the old block!"
Vaike smiled, then paused.
"Wait. I thought he was yer kid."
"And now you see our problem. Now, I have no doubt you have your puerile fantasies, but I assume that I have no place in them. Further, I would never wish to sully my family name with your… lower class… habits. I trust even you can see why this would be something we want to avoid?"
"Maybe?"
"Maybe? Maybe?"
"I mean, yeah! Sure! Let the Vaike at the problem! It'll be gone in no time!"
"I'm glad we're of one accord on this matter. I would ask you for suggestions, but it's obvious that I'd be better finding my own solutions. For the present, I think we can just avoid each other and hope that settles the matter."
"Er… sure?"
"Excellent."
Maribelle turned to leave. It was a simple matter at this point, but Lucina had thought it was simple when she stopped one attempt on her sainted aunt's life, and here they were, with the woman two years dead and a host of less deserving corpses rising from their tombs. It didn't do to make assumptions.
For example, it seemed that it was a mistake to assume Vaike understood that a woman turning to leave meant that her part of the conversation was over. The man was loudly clearing his throat. Gods, he was even spitting up mucus after.
"Just one question."
Maribelle did not turn. She did not want to see whatever mucus emerged from the man's mouth. Further, she did not want to see Vaike at all.
Sadly, common manners dictated she at least pretend to show interest in whatever asinine query the man posed. She let out a breath.
"What is it, Vaike?"
"What kind of fantasies did Sully say she was having about me? I don't need all the juicy details, but if you tell old 'teach, maybe I can..."
Vaike was not much of a thinker. That was one of the few things almost everyone who had met him could agree upon.
The exact terms might vary. Some would couch it between compliments, pass it off as just another quirk. Others would simply rattle it off without comment, like the man's haircolor or how many toes he had (nine, and no-one cared to ask the details.) And some would make it the center of the attack, proof, if more was needed, that the main should not be trusted with safety scissors, let alone an axe larger and considerably sharper than he was.
Vaike himself just said he wasn't much for book-learning. Until now, he'd never needed it. Life was a series of simple problems. If something bothered you, punch it. If it was too big and too mean to punch, get out the axe. And if you couldn't punch it OR hit it with an axe, you just tried to ignore it. He'd been doing it all his life and, barring Maribelle and Miriel's lectures, it worked out pretty good so far.
But now he was a father. Apparently. Maybe. And that was something that wouldn't go away just by hitting it with an axe.
Or… well, it might. But that would bring on a whole host of other problems that nobody wanted.
Maybe a snooty noble like Maribelle could just ask what her parents did, but Vaike was from the streets. Where a man never knew his father, except as a name and a last errand before vanishing. (In his case 'that dirty son of a griffin' and 'went out drinking, and good riddance.' Even by the standards of the streets, he didn't come from the best stock.)
Well, The Vaike Junior, or whatever Maribelle called him, was getting better! No point in working your way out of the slums just to toss your kid into the same pit! He'd… well, he'd definitely…
He'd definitely something. The Vaike sat down and put his hand in his chin. That was how smart people did it, right? And they couldn't do half as many pushups as he could! Heck, the only reason he'd never done it was he'd never needed to. He'd outthink the thinkers in no time.
What felt like five hours later, The Vaike sighed.
He wasn't a thinker. Fine. The thinkers couldn't toss a charging soldier five feet into the air!
...Except Lucina. Maybe Cordelia. Cherche seemed pretty bright…
Vaike shook his head. That didn't matter! He was Teach! He taught old Chrom everything he knew. And if he couldn't teach himself how to handle this, then… well. Huh. Something wasn't right, then. Vaike kept trying to think. It had to work sometimes.
And right on cue, a flash of inspiration pushed through the fog. Ha! Vaike knew this genius stuff couldn't be so hard. If Vaike couldn't genius his way through himself, all he'd need to do would be find someone smart and ask them how they'd handle things! No problem, score one for the Vaike!
...The only problem would be figuring out what genius he could go to. Some of 'em, well, they hadn't been too fond of old Teach lately. Not his fault, of course, but there might be some problems down the line. Just, thinking hypo… hypo… hypocritical-like. Yeah. Thinking that way, Vaike could see that maybe some of the smarter folks might not be too fond of him right at the moment.
Miriel had been nagging him for years about one thing or another. Vaike couldn't always follow why, but she wasn't going to be his first choice.
Robin had the thing with Sully's horse, that was not going to make her anxious to help him.
And Maribelle, well, she just said not to talk about it. And she was half the problem to start with!
Well, women in general were right out, come to think. With the bathing pool incident, it didn't seem like he'd be in good regards. And Chrom… well, Chrom was a great guy, but he looked up to his teach! If Vaike admitted he needed help, it would ruin his whole mystique.
Figuring out how to ask a genius was getting to look like just as much trouble as figuring something out on his own.
Wait a sec. Chrom had another kid, right? Morg or something! Yeah! He'd be perfect! Kid like that, he'd have lots of questions for an old hand like Vaike, so he'd be eager to talk, but he'd know everything Chrom did! No sweat!
Sometimes Vaike even amazed himself. Now it was only a matter of finding Morg, talking him 'round, and then doing whatever he needed to do at the kid's sayso! Piece of cake.
After ten minutes of searching, Vaike found Morgan standing on his head. For the first time he could remember, Vaike briefly doubted his own judgement. Why'd a kid do something crazy like that if he was so smart?
On the other hand, Robin did a lot of weird stuff too. Geniuses were kinda crazy. Basic part of why they could think of things that regular guys like Vaike couldn't. So the kid standing on his head was PROOF that he was a genius, right? If he was just doing regular people stuff like fishing or juggling axes, then there'd be no way to tell he wasn't a regular guy like The Vaike. And the Vaike was way better at being regular than anyone else! No point in asking then. No, doing crazy stuff just meant the Vaike's judgement was dead-on again!
"Hey! Kid!"
The kid toppled over.
"Hey… dad's friend?"
"The Vaike has a name!"
"Oh. What is it? Sorry. I'm not the best at remembering names. Or I guess anything else!"
"It's… The Vaike. The Vaike is the Vaike. It's right there!"
"So, where's The Vaike?"
"It's me! Chrom's best pal? The guy who taught him everything he knows? Toughest fighter in the shepherds?"
The boy tilted his head without getting off the ground.
"No. I'm pretty sure that's mother for all of them. She's the best. Well, maybe she didn't teach dad everything, but she could have."
Vaike glared and flexed an arm.
"What? No! How'd some scrawny nerd compete with these?"
"By being the best, probably."
It was hard to argue with that kind of logic. Vaike sighed. Well, he'd wanted someone smarter than he was at this kind of stuff. That meant taking risks too. He was going to lose a few arguments. Best to just forget about everything like that, as usual.
"Look, you're smart, right?"
"Not nearly as smart as mother. I've been working ever since I came here, and I'm still not even close!"
"But if I couldn't get her, you'd be the best bet for old teach, right?"
"You really should get her, though. I can just run off…"
"Nah! Old teach just… wants to talk man to man. Guy stuff!"
"Ohhhh. Like dad!"
"Yeah! Just like old Chrom. Teach and him go WAY back."
"Right! So, should I do Chrom's part, or do you want to?"
"...what?"
"Usually one of us gets confused if we don't know what we're going to talk about right from the start. Sometimes father doesn't understand something about tactics I've been talking about with mother, or I don't know what kind of family bonding thing he's planning, or my arms get tired. I want to make sure this goes right. What do you want?"
"Err… teach just had a couple questions. Basic genius stuff."
"...I don't think that's me OR father in those talks. I'll try to think what mom would do. Would that help?"
Vaike pressed blindly onward. The method had never failed him before. Well, never failed him enough to be worth remembering, and who had time to remember failure, anyway? Only thing worth remembering was the times he was the best.
"Er… sure! The Vaike is ready for whatever advice is coming."
"Okay! What's the question?"
"Didn't I ask you already?"
"I have no idea. Sorry. I might have forgot."
"No harm done! The Vaike is a forgiving guy."
"Thanks!"
"No problem!"
After a second, Morgan coughed.
"The question?"
"Oh, right! The Vaike has a The Vaike Junior around!"
"Huh."
"And the thing is, old teach isn't sure what to do. His mother isn't crazy about The Vaike, and, well, the Vaike ain't that crazy about her."
"Then why did you…"
"Don't know! I thought you could genius out why it happened!"
"I think mother would want more information. Like when he was born, maybe?"
"Don't know!"
"Well, mother and I didn't know when I was born, and we still figured things out. Maybe you know about how old he is?"
"Kinda close to Lucina's age, maybe?"
Morgan scrunched up his face, deep in thought.
"Well, I guess I can see how you drifted apart, if it was that long ago. Although I thought that you had to be an adult to have a kid."
"Nah! The Vaike wouldn't leave a little Vaike alone that long. He's whaddya call it. Like you and Lucina!"
"Oh. From the future?"
"Yeah! Time malarky! Old Vaike knew he knew."
"So I guess you raised him right already, then! Great job, Vaike! I knew you could do it!"
Vaike nodded. He DID know he could do it. If a guy like Chrom could get a couple kids dealt with no fuss, then why would a guy like the Vaike have trouble? Taught Chrom all he knew, after all! He'd just have to know what he already knew, and the knowledge was as good as knowed!
...But that didn't deal with Maribelle.
"Yeah, I did great. But what about his ma?"
"She probably did great too. I mean, someone had to..."
Morgan seemed to realize he was saying something he didn't mean to and slammed his mouth shut.
Vaike tilted his head.
"Someone had to what?"
"Mmmph!"
"That ain't...! No, wait. The Vaike had a better question. How am I supposed to deal with Maribelle?"
"Well, you could… no, that works for mom because she's queen. Hmm."
Morgan tapped his foot on the floor and scratched his chin.
"I just don't spend much time around her. Maybe that would work? No, you're looking all seasick. It didn't work?"
"I married her."
"Huh! Guess mom didn't think I'd be interested in the wedding. I can't see why, but she must have had a good reason. ...Wait. Vaike Junior's mother is mad, isn't she?"
"Maribelle is the mother."
"Oh! Wait. Are you even married yet?"
"No. The Vaike is still living the bachelor life."
"Hmm. So…"
Morgan flipped a little book out of his sleeves and opened it up.
"I probably should have asked more questions earlier."
"No problem. Not everyone can be as ready for anything as old teach. Just ask anything you need to know!"
Morgan looked down at the book.
"Um… what does your son look like?"
"Er… what do you mean?"
"Height, hair color, any scars…? I was talking with Lucy a lot. I kind of remembered her, and I thought that maybe if she could help me remember anyone else, I could get more of my memories back."
"Did it work?"
Morgan smiled.
"Nope! But it means I have notes on everybody. It should mean less times when I… err… accidentally left Noire in the room with my bug collection."
"You did what?"
"It's not important right now. And it was just as bad for the bugs, so I feel even worse. But it won't happen again, thanks to my handy tactics guide and conversation helper! So, what's Vaike Junior like?"
"I guess he looks kind of like The Vaike? Same hair, got a scar, probably from…"
Vaike tried to remember a few more details. He hadn't seen the kid much, and he was carrying a wimpy looking staff instead of something proper like an axe, but maybe he just liked hitting people with sticks. The Vaike could understand that. He'd played stickball as a kid, and the best part was always at the end, when it was just stick and everyone was at bat at once. Good times. Well, good times for him, at least. Turned out some people hadn't had as much fun.
Vaike'd have to make sure Vaike junior didn't play too much. Wasn't good sportsmanship to break someone's arm or something.
"Ahem!"
Morgan's voice cut through the happy childhood reverie. Vaike shook his head.
"What?"
"I just wanted to ask if I was right that The Vaike junior looked a lot like Brady."
Morgan held up a small sketch.
"Yeah! That's him!"
"Oh. Hmm. It's weird Maribelle has two identical looking sons…"
"...Yeah. Weird."
He wasn't SURE that his son was named Vaike Junior, but it only made sense. Why let one odd name convince him otherwise? They must have had twins. Sure. Another bit of logic.
Morgan was looking at his notes again.
"I think we're okay then? I mean, Brady turned out well?"
"What should I do about Maribelle?"
"Well, she married you in the first place... Mother always says that there's no destiny. Just the bonds that hold us together. So, I guess if it was meant to be, she liked you for you?"
"Who wouldn't?"
"Exactly! So just be as Vaike as you can be, and everything should work out fine!"
"What if I don't want to marry her?"
"...Then I guess you should be as OPPOSITE of Vaike as you can be. I'll help. I think mother has a monocle around here somewhere…"
The Vaike sighed. Monocles. Probably tea and scones or something soon enough. But if it was the best way to handle things, then he'd do it. Being the Vaike meant something. Admittedly, he wasn't always sure what it meant, and right now it meant five or six conflicting things at once, but he hadn't backed down from a challenge before, and he wouldn't now.
Ricken looked in the mirror and took in a breath. He was a Mature Adult now. He had to look the part!
After all, he was going off to his SECOND war. Kids didn't do that, right?
Sure, he was being kept on the back lines as a support mage, and maybe Robin kept telling him he should keep out of the thick of the action, but that must have been because he was so important. Chrom couldn't risk losing his best successor to random chance.
Well, maybe his second best, after Lucina. But he had to beat Morgan, right? Ricken shook his head. Morgan was only a LITTLE older than he was, really, and he was WAY less devoted to being An Adult. Ricken had even seen him playing kids games with someone at the camp!
The other kid (It MUST have been a kid. Just logic.) ran off before Ricken could see, but Morgan admitted to it. Chrom wouldn't let someone that childish be in a position of influence, right?
Ricken smiled. Of course not. He and Chrom were like brothers. He wouldn't let his son get in the way of that.
Then Ricken frowned again. Smiling like that was for kids! He was an adult. Adults looked serious.
"Ricken?"
He spun around. Maribelle!
"I wasn't practicing looking mature in a mirror."
"Oh. A… shame. You're looking adequate at the moment."
"Thank you."
Underselling a compliment. Definitely an adults thing to do.
"Now, I'm sure you have several matters you wish to discuss…"
"Of course. I have a wide range of interests. Like… finance. I'm into finance now."
"I'm sure you are."
Crud. Ricken winced. Why did he say that? Maribelle probably knew all about finance, whatever that was! She was sophisticated and usually reading something. He'd look like a fool if he tried to discuss it. He might even freeze up and talk about woodland creatures or something similar.
He shouldn't have gone out to play with them earlier that day. Yes, Henry told him they were asking for him by name, but Henry was always laughing. VERY immature. Not a Good Influence for the heir to a noble house.
"Yep! I like doing… financial things. Like an adult."
"I suppose you do have fortunate timing. I've been reviewing Ylisse's tax codes recently. Madness! I don't believe a thinking being could have written them. Perhaps you could enlighten me on a few matters?"
"Well, I guess it's something no-one really understands."
"I suppose you're right."
YES! A mature and adult response! Ricken bit his tongue to keep from smiling. He was an adult, and here he was, with one of his fellow nobles, having an adult conversation about adult things. Adultishly.
He decided to risk a little more. After all, he couldn't be seen shirking from a challenge if he wanted to convince everyone he belonged on the frontlines instead of guarding camp or sorting spellbooks.
"So, did you want to talk about anything else? I'm an adult, after all. You can share with me."
"Well. This is a delicate matter, Ricken. I would need your solemn word that you would keep this private, no matter the outcome. I understand that you are a man of the noblest breeding, and even asking such a thing borders on an insult, but I cannot risk this reaching outside ears."
"Don't worry. I won't say anything, even if I'm torn apart by wolves!"
"Gods. Must you insist on such dramatic imagery? It hardly seems suitable to the circumstances."
"Err… sorry."
Yes. He DEFINITELY needed to spend less time around Henry. Much less time.
"Good. Now, you seem like a good hearted young man, one with great potential, and in a noble house that has… fallen into difficult circumstances. One that would benefit from certain political dealings. Am I far wrong?"
"No?"
"And meanwhile, my family is sadly without a male heir. Of course, even under the slapdash imbecility that passes for Ylissean inheritance law, that would not OFFICIALLY decrease our standing, but it does leave our position more… delicate."
"That definitely seems tough."
Ricken furrowed his brow to show how seriously he was taking things. He knew nobles could be mean. The way they went after his family for just a little "'bezzling" was proof of that. It didn't matter if a few smaller details went past him. The main facts were obvious, and if a woman came to him wanting sympathy, he'd give it. That's what Chrom would do, after all!
"Yes. And in the light of certain… other circumstances which I sincerely hope you haven't heard all the details of, it has become somewhat worse. I wish to make a proposal."
"You mean like Chrom did with Robin?"
"You are aware that the term proposal can have multiple meanings, I trust. I could have merely been discussing a minor inheritance matter that could leave your household in slightly better standing."
Ricken nodded. He knew that! He just… there was so much talk lately… it wasn't his fault that everybody was getting married!
"Of course. But you weren't?"
"Perceptive, aren't you? I suppose I would prefer that in any potential spouse to the alternative. Very well. Ricken, I would like you to consider taking my hand in holy matrimony, at the first moment of mutual convenience."
"Really?"
"Yes."
Ricken almost jumped out of his hat. He knew he was an adult, of course, but this was more than he hoped for! Getting married was one of the most grown-up and mature things to do. No "When you're older". Nothing about "Maybe some day we can talk about this again" or "Hahaha *snort*. That's a good joke!"
Just his manly charms and a noble lady.
After a second, he started shaking.
He hadn't planned for this.
He was over his head.
He was WAY over his head.
What would Chrom do? Chrom WOULD know what to do, right? He was married! He had kids, even! If Ricken could just think of a Chrom like thing to say, he'd be set. Any second now.
"Umm…"
That wasn't what Chrom would say. It wasn't even close. Chrom would never be at a loss for words around women, right? Why would Robin like him so much if he was?
But Maribelle didn't seem put off for a moment.
"There's no need to worry."
"Of course I wasn't!"
"This would purely be a political matter. I understand if you would rather wait for love, Naga knows I would do the same under any less urgent circumstances, but I would never dare restrict your dalliances, even for as high and noble a matter as the law."
"Dalliances?"
"We're both young, Ricken. Still, hopefully, with the prime of our lives ahead of us. It would be petty to assume that you could never draw other women. And if you wished to… spend time with one of them, I could turn a blind eye to the whole affair. Of course, I would expect the same consideration in return, should you demand the privilege..."
"I thought when adults...err… adults like us got married…"
Maribelle smiled and shook her head. It wasn't a cruel smile. It might have been easier if it was.
"Ricken, as one grows older, one finds that the world is a broken place, which has the most miserable outcomes in store for all of us, even the most noble. A few, like our dear Exalt, might snatch a little happiness. For the rest of us, merely avoiding disaster is as lofty a fate as we can attain."
"I don't think I want to get married, then."
Maribelle nodded.
"I understand. Hold on to your dreams, Ricken. The world might not dash them against the rocks yet."
Then she turned and left the room without another word. Ricken scratched his head.
Obviously, being an adult was even more complicated than he thought.
Whump.
Whump.
Whump.
Brady winced. Poor training dummy didn't know what it got into. Thing must have gotten soft dealin' with a bunch of new jokers and fresh faced farmers. But now Lucy was rippin' into it, and it was enterin' a whole wide world of hurt.
WHUMP.
And it shattered. Not exactly a surprise. Lucina took a couple steps to the left, grabbed another dummy from the stack, and tossed it into place.
A couple of soldiers were gawkin' nearby. He couldn't exactly blame them. Sure, from all he'd seen outdoorsy livin' ran in the family, but the princess held up even better than her pop. He'd never seen anyone that strong, and most people he knew weren't slouches.
Left guys like him and Morgan feelin' even more like first rate weaklings, but hey. Nature didn't check for broken bones when designin' how people could interact. No reason it should care about hurt feelings.
He looked at the shadows on the ground. About time to call it.
"Hey, Lucina! In case you want to be able to move in the mornin', that's a wrap!"
"Are you sure? I would hate to…"
"Doc's orders! Keep goin' much longer, and you won't be any good tomorrow if we run into a patrol."
"If you insist."
Without another word, she climbed on the fence to sit next to him.
"I have to admit, I missed having you around. It's good to see your delicate… err…"
"No need to beat around the bush. I'm a regular melvin on the battlefield. If it weren't for those priests, I'da stumbled into a ditch and gotten killed. If it wasn't for this, I'd be useless."
"That isn't true!"
Brady shrugged. Well, if she wanted to argue, he'd let her. Least a palooka like him could do.
"Sure. Fine."
"One of the finest!"
Swell. If he kept harping, she'd keep going. And nothing helped his inferiority complex quite like condescending compliments. Brady reached for a change of topic.
"Great. Uh… just a quick question. How weird did your folks get when you showed?"
Lucina slid Falchion back into its sheath and shook her head.
"Even if I could remember any details, our circumstances are rather different. Why did you ask?"
"Because my ma and pa have been acting nuts ever since I got here. Figured I should find out if that's just dealing with me or if they're always like this."
"Your parents have been acting odd?"
Brady raised an eyebrow as high as it could go. Right. Sometimes with all the being perfect malarky it was easy to forget the princess had her issues, same as everyone else.
Like not noticing everyone else's issues.
Lucina shrugged in apology.
"I can't say I noticed."
"Pops is running around mispronouncin' ten dollar words and wearing a monocle, while ma's…"
Brady paused as a voice tumbled across the camp
"And of course, Sir Frederick, a marriage between our two…"
Brady shook his head.
"Ma's proposed to more or less half the camp, except pops."
Lucina looked back and winced.
"I admit this is somewhat… novel behavior for both of them, now that you bring it up."
"So they aren't normally screwy?"
"Not to this extent, no."
"Great. Screwed everything up just by getting here. Regular genius. Maybe you should just stab me in the heart right now, save everyone some hassle."
"Brady."
"What? You and yer ma are always discussing unorthodox tactics. Figured I could help out with that."
"Costing us all a wonderful healer and a trustworthy friend isn't a sound tactical decision."
"Sure, fine. I don't see anyone else comin' up with a better suggestion."
"There's always staying alive, stopping Grima, and leaving our younger selves a better world."
"Not seein' that as a real easy option right now."
Lucina sighed.
"Neither do I. But sometimes hope is all we have."
A few seconds passed. Crickets chirped. Brady broke the silence.
"Well, I'm about done sitting around hopin'. What do you say we grab your little brother, throw him at my folks, and hope that them jawin' will sort things out?"
"Why would you want Morgan?"
"Way I see it, you and me can't exactly afford to look even more like idiots. Stories you tell me, Morgan could manage better on that front on his own."
"I'm not sure that I would say that about…"
"I saw him rammin' his head into a post for five minutes straight."
Lucina paused for a second, then nodded.
"I'll… ask him what he can do."
"Thanks."
After a few more awkward minutes of small talk, Lucina left for the evening, and Brady let his poor worn out muscles take a break. Even watching that kind of thing left him tired out.
When the morning came, he was still feeling it. Meanwhile, thanks to taking her physician's advice, Lucina was healthy as a clam.
Brady could have complained about some folks having all the luck, but when he was supplyin' it, the comment seemed like a bad idea.
Especially when Lu was smiling. You didn't interrupt something rare like that just because your everything was trying to kill you.
"Good news!"
"Guessed that from the fact you weren't looking like someone rained on a month of parades. Let's hear it."
"I talked to Morgan. He's been discussing the matter of your… parental difficulties… at length. Apparently, he had a hand in their current state, and would like to make it up to you."
"Great. Can't think of how he'd make things worse. The last time he tried to fix something went so well."
"He's given it a good deal of effort, Brady. The least we can do is appreciate it."
"Oh, I'll appreciate it! Just let me get my hands…"
Brady stopped.
Three things came to mind.
First, that Morgan, for all his faults, wasn't such a bad kid on the balance. Even if Brady was the kind of guy who could thrash someone, he wouldn't want to hurt the dope too bad.
Second, that Lucina was right there. Most dames didn't like talking about their brother getting knocked senseless, and Brady liked hangin' around Lucina, and he was starting to hope she didn't mind too much hanging around a dope like him. Saying something like that would put a real crimp in their could-maybe-be-a-friendship-as-long-as-Lucina-didn't-wise-up, and Brady would hate to do that.
Finally, that he wasn't the kind of guy who COULD thrash people, and saying stuff like that might make him the one who got thrashed.
He coughed before continuing.
"Let me get my hands out of my pockets and get ready to go. Who all's gonna be at this little hootenanny?"
"Not… terribly many people."
Lucina wasn't all that bad a liar. In fact, if Brady had to judge, she was pretty decent at it. Which meant that anything making her show that much sweat had to be a pretty big bit of fakery.
"Got any names?"
"Well… you."
"Uh-huh."
"Well, your parents."
"In the same room?"
"It's… easier to talk things over that way."
"Who else?"
"Morgan and I will be there. I'm sorry, but someone has to keep an eye on things."
"And?"
Brady was guessing now, but better to be pleasantly surprised than the alternative.
"My parents might be there. I just felt seeing a happy…"
Brady waved the comment aside.
"Yeah, yeah. Regular party. Just don't let the jaw get in the way of sorting out whatever's going on."
"Of… course not."
Brady dusted off his robe and got to his feet. Normally, ma would chew his head off if he went around looking this sloppy. Well, normally back when she was alive the first time. Now, normal was pretty much out of the picture, and if Maribelle wanted to yell at him...
Well, she probably would still give him an earful, no matter what he planned for. No point in trying to avoid it now. Better to just deal with it and enjoy the memories. Not much good when they were going down, but they beat thinking of a lot of other things coming back up.
He followed Lucina out into the morning sun, past the camp. Most folks seemed to be sleeping. He couldn't blame them. He'd be doing the same if he had a choice.
As it was, he was stumbling into a tent with an empty stomach to stare down his folks, Lucina's folks, and Morgan for good measure.
Brady looked over at his ma. She was glaring already. This was going to go great. Morgan was the only person in the room who was smiling. And he'd be smiling at his own funeral unless someone explained it to him, so he didn't exactly count.
Brady coughed. Might as well get this over with. Maybe the gods'd consider his time as a priest, give him somewhere nice and cushy in the afterlife. Not much of a chance, but it beat his odds of making it through an argument intact when mom was this cross.
"So, whaddid I miss?"
Chrom stepped forward.
"We were just discussing your… existence. Robin and I were doing our best to talk your parents through… this."
Robin smiled.
"Well, I was covering for our beloved Exalt. It turns out he remembers some things… differently."
Chrom blushed.
"I just try not to remember them."
Morgan looked confused.
"Is this more amnesia? Because I think I might have figured something out! All we need to do…"
Robin glanced at Morgan.
"Morgan… maybe we can discuss this later. Much later."
"Oh. Ohhhh. Oh. Oh?"
Brady looked over at Lucina. She was blushing too. Great. Just perfect, all of it.
"I think this is a… private matter, Morgan."
"That's why I said oh. I wouldn't say 'Oh' over nothing."
Brady sighed. Well. He didn't feel like enough of an idiot already. Great how the gods were just lookin' out for him on that front.
"Look, what do you want to know? I'm sure you've got lots of fun family stories, but I figure I've screwed up enough already that a few more things no-one was supposed to know won't wreck things any worse."
Robin turned from her children over to the priest.
"I'm not sure we can afford that right now. Every change we make to Lucina's history renders her information a little less useful. And we might need that advantage soon."
"So, talking about how my folks had a dinner might get people killed?"
Robin shrugged. She looked sorry.
"I can't say anything with certainty, but it's possible. We're taking on a million man army with fewer than one hundred thousand soldiers, and most of them aren't reliable. I don't think we can afford to pass up any opportunities. It's your choice, of course."
"Gee, thanks. Pinnin' all the responsibility on me, and it ain't even my birthday."
Robin smiled.
"I don't get many chances to shove this kind of thing on someone else, Brady. You can't blame me for jumping at the chance. Besides, you owe me for the soup."
"You know what? Fine! You want to know somethin'? Just ask! Never saw you fight this much before anyway. Probably broke everything just by showing up! Ask away! Ain't like I can do much good anyway else!"
Morgan's eyes lit up.
"Anything?"
Lucina nudged her brother in the ribs.
"I think he only meant the offer to apply to his parents, Morgan."
"Nah! Open season!"
Morgan opened his mouth and shut it. Then he repeated the process, more slowly. Finally, he opened it again.
"So, how are Vaike and Maribelle going to get married?"
"That all?"
"No, but I can say it is. Would that help?"
Brady grimaced. Had to put up the offer, didn't he. Had to be a big idiot in front of everyone. And now backing down would only make it worse. Lucina couldn't think much of him already, but if she thought he was a coward on top, he only saw it getting worse.
Only one way out, then. Straight down the middle, right into all the swords and arrows in the world.
"Great. Thanks heaps, Morgan."
Morgan smiled.
"No problem."
"Ma, pa? Plug your ears if you don't want any messy details. Not that I got many. Everybody else? Get ready for a humdinger."
Ma and pa weren't plugging their ears. Well, their funerals. Once he got to those parts, anyway.
"Only got the story from Maw once, about when dad bought it. Didn't know him much, guess you figured a guy ought to know somethin' about his pa, other than the fact he was all kinds of classy."
Which was obviously a lie, but calling it out right now might not be the best idea.
"So, you both were hiding from Ashnard…"
Maribelle coughed.
"I'm assuming there was a second ill-mannered brute with that name in Valm?"
"Nah. Plegian king. You never talked much about him without swearing…"
Maribelle coughed again.
"And we were… married before his death?"
"Apparently. You said something about one night, both scared and alone, social obligation… Look, I don't remember every detail, alright?"
Vaike raised his hand.
"Teach don't remember that."
"What part?"
"Any of it."
Robin shook her head.
"If you remembered much of anything, that might be relevant."
Maribelle looked from Vaike to Robin and cleared her throat a third time. Brady made a mental note to get her some cough drops or something. That couldn't be good for her
"For once, our… mutual… acquaintance is right. I don't recall anything of that... nature."
Robin slapped her forehead.
"No, because… gods, it's been more than long enough. He'd be Lucina's age now. Which means we're well off the beaten path."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning that we don't have anything resembling a blueprint here. I'd talk about bonds, but it's clear whatever was going to tie you and Vaike together... isn't here."
"Clearly."
Brady grimaced.
"So, seein' as I missed the whole point of my own story, anyone care to fill me in?"
Robin nodded.
"It's fairly simple. Your parents are different people, and they're separating. Or, to be more precise, they're simply not getting together in the first place. It's not your fault, they both still love you, but for everyone's good they can just stop worrying. Now, if no-one minds, I didn't get enough sleep, and I do not plan well this early in the morning, so Chrom and I will be going back to bed. And, as I've told Tharja before, you aren't welcome to join us."
Robin left the tent as she finished the sentence. The rest of her family trundled out after her, Lucina last.
She turned towards Brady before going out the flap.
"I'm... sorry to hear about all of this. If there's anything I can do..."
"Ain't your fault. Don't waste time cryin' over me."
Well, it sort of was, but it was also her fault that his folks were even breathing, so it came out even in his book at worst.
She didn't draw it out. Just nodded and left. And Brady was alone with his folks. His folks who didn't even LIKE each other, and wouldn't be getting hitched ever if he could believe half the jaw.
Maribelle was looking at Vaike.
"Well. I suppose we can agree that's a relief, even if we have nothing else in common."
"Yeah. Old 'teach had enough lessons about fancy nobles."
"And I suppose that I can afford to leave marriage to its proper place, beneath legal studies."
After a few seconds of protracted non-eye contact, Brady coughed.
"So, uh, since we're all here, want to know anything else? Didn't have many stories about you two together, but there were a couple good ones..."
Vaike and Maribelle both turned towards Brady. Locked eyes. Looked away. Nodded.
Brady shrugged.
"Alright, so, this was back in Valm. Err... the first time..."
(Author's Note:
And here we are. Hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading, all as standard.
I know. Finally, a Brady and Maribelle pairing story. I just have been buried in requests. Millions of messages, all demanding this. It's impossible to imagine anything that people have ever asked for more. Still, with such a popular baseline, I had to have a slightly different spin on it. Decided to go with the idea that their kid showed up before they even started to notice each other. I know. Dazzling and never before used, but I had to try it.
All sarcasm aside, yeah. Thought the premise could be fun, and Maribelle was enough fun to write as a supporting played, I wanted to try something with her in a little more of a leading role. I think it more or less worked.
Moving on... I don't like to bring up anything about my personal anything here. Don't feel it's relevant. Current events, applies double. They date the notes, makes everything feel odd looking back.
Making an exception now, for what feels like a pretty solid reason. Terry Pratchett died while I was writing this, and, well... I feel the need to salute his memory somewhere. Much as it almost feels like an insult to memorialize him here with my comparatively crap writing. He was one of the best writers I've ever come across. Funny as anything, with an eye for human nature maybe one in a hundred could even approach, brilliant character work...
And then he got early onset Alzheimers. Life ain't fair. But he still kept writing, right until the end.
Just... felt like I should say something. World feels a little emptier without him writing in it.
So, uh, pick something up if you see a book not called "The Long War" with his name on it at a library, or a used book store or somewhere. It's worth doing.
And try to be decent to other people, if it's an option. Usually works out better than the alternative.)