Title: Voicemail
Author: Kiku Nakamura
Disclaimer: I don't think I'm talented enough to create my own manga which has an anime adaptation, so excuse me for being a fangirl. Credits to Amano Akira.
Genre/Tag: Romance, Angst, break-up
Rating: T
Warning: minor cursing, minor OOC-ness
Characters/Shippings : 5986
Summary: It's selfish of me, but every time that I say 'leave,' it's a test to know if you're willing to stay.

Haru wished it would just rain with thunder and lightning because the bright, sunny skies were pissing her off. That was saying a lot because Haru would be sad and upset, but never so mad at something that she would be "pissed off."

Yet, here she was so infuriated with the weather: something that neither she nor anyone else could control. It was foolish of her. Why would she be feeling so absolutely livid with everything that she saw? Even the nice roadside flower was irritating.

She was so upset with herself. Why was she so dumb to push someone out of her life? All that he was trying to do was help. She trusted and broke apart and now to be scared to break someone that thought she was truly amazing even if he didn't say it out loud. But this was for him. It was all for him. Don't regret it now, Haru' she thought to herself.

Maybe she was too far gone to be saved. Ironically, she thought there would always be a cure for everything.

When she finally ended the journey to her house, she monotonously opened the door and walked up to her room. Feeling like she was finally able to slip away into the little pathetic excuse of a person that she thought she was, Haru slumped on her bed.

She hugged her pillow tight and thought that she didn't deserve a miracle, because even if they did exist, she was the one who did a wrong-doing. Miura Haru thought with all of her might that it was impossible for the aforementioned thing, but she still hoped and prayed for one to come her way. No matter how much of a mess she was in, she was still the girl with the big dreams and imagination.

Sad songs that she had listened to kept on playing through her mind. There wasn't a way to stop it. There wasn't a mute or pause button. Wallowing herself in guilt made her feel better because she knew he didn't deserve what she did. If he was feeling pain, she might make up for it by feeling it, too. Haru was being selfish again and again today.

Her eyelids slowly covered her eyes and she fell into a slumber. With the black screen that she was seeing, it warped into something she had seen, just three hours earlier to be exact. It was a scene that she did not want to be reliving. She cursed her imagination and good memory for such vivid details. They were in her kitchen. He was leaning on the wall and she was by the fridge.

"Haru, I won't be able to protect you from everything. I can't promise that I won't lie or hurt you, but I want you to know that I'll be right here," he said, his tone gentle and hushed.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked. It was unbelievable the kindness that he showed her. It was subtle mostly, but today he was so affectionate. He was beautiful. She didn't want him to break.

"What do you mean? Are you feeling alright?" he asked. His eyebrows were knotted together and his eyes were concentrating hard on her pale face.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Haru asked. She thought of yelling at him, but in the end chose to just whisper it. He could hear her; it was muffled and low but he could hear it nonetheless. It might have better if she yelled, because he couldn't stand her like this and she knew it.

"Haru, what are you talking about? I'm your boyfriend. Stop this!" He ran his hand through that perfectly soft hair; Haru could tell without touching. That was what he did when he was angry, confused, frustrated, or annoyed. He was all four at the moment because of her. She was sorry but everything about that made her feel more determined to keep him away. She didn't deserve him.

"You aren't going to be here forever. I don't want to risk anything. You aren't good for me. I know it." Yes, she was going to break him today. It was going to happen one day because he was so devoted to her; it was well known he was the one that was going to hurt more in the end. Why didn't she end it right here, right now? Why wait for something so certain to happen? She continued, "Everyone told me not to date you, yet I still did. There isn't anything in this for me." The lies hurt and it was cruelly perfect; she didn't say anything about how she was bad, because now he would be more willing to leave her. He wouldn't have to try to persuade her that it wasn't her fault.

She avoided his eyes when he walked closer to her. "Just leave, Gokudera-san." In a pleading tone, she added, "Please."

He was walking closer still. "Miura Haru! Look me right in the eyes. Tell me what you just said- loud and clear. I'll leave you alone, let you go. I'll do what you said." Haru heard the hurt in his voice. He wasn't expecting this outburst with her on a last name, stranger basis with him. Wasn't expecting her to be like this when all he was telling her was how much he loved her indirectly. She refused to look at him. Haru was fully aware that if she looked into his perfect green eyes, her knees would give out and everything she needed to stay to keep him away from her would fail and that he knew this bit of information too.

She gave herself a countdown from five to calm her breathing and looked up. 'Haru is strong,' she had told herself. "I said 'leave, Gokudera-san.'"

With that Hayato walked out of the kitchen and out the front door. Haru had winced preparing for a slam of the door that never came. It closed slowly, silently, something that she never expected from him before their relationship, that had ended as he walked out.

She was successful yet all she felt was a deep, dark void swallowing her whole. She thought that there was a faint trace of disappointment in her heart. Why should she? She had everything that she wanted now. But she thought to herself, almost telepathically to him, "It's selfish of me, but every time that I say 'leave' it's a test to know if you're willing to stay."

And he failed.

Haru remembered waiting. She waited for Hayato to get out on the sidewalk. She waited for her breathing to calm. She waited for him to turn past the corner of her street.

There was a little part of her that was waiting for him to knock on that door. To ask her to let him back in.

She waited for him to walk all the way back to his apartment before, she too, walked out.

The Japanese girl couldn't stand the suffocating atmosphere of the kitchen even though Hayato was long gone.

Haru walked all across Namimori feeling more conflicted that she ever did before. She passed by Namimori Middle School, Midori Middle, and the last stop was his apartment complex.

All the window drapes were drawn together leaving little light inside the living room she reminisced. She had been there to watch movies with him on the cozy couch. She had actually been over quite often now that she thought about it. And that was when she realized how extremely frustrated with herself she was.

When the brunette woke up, she realized that it had been two hours since she fell asleep and five since she had gotten the single status (not that she fixed it yet for social media. She was too tired and freaking ticked off, serious. She wasn't unprepared to let go or anything. ) The gentle taps of rain on her roof was comforting in a way that loneliness was in a tight place with a large amount of people.

She rubbed her eyes as she sat up on her bed, her pillow cushioning her back. When the brown-eyed girl looked at her phone, there was a blinking, constant and incessant. Growing impatient with everything around her, she grabbed her phone and quickly threw it on her lap which was still covered with her blanket. It made a soft thud sound.

As she unlocked the phone, she realized that she had twenty four missed calls. She counted three from Kyoko-chan, two from Bianchi-san, one from Tsuna-san, and eighteen all from Hayato. There was a pain and longing that she had towards reading his caller ID. There were hearts, stars, infinity signs, and (don't forget the) little winking skull. She really loves him- present tense. She still felt the way that her breathing got caught in her throat.

Haru had voicemail and she listened to them one at a time after she pressed the "call voicemail" button.

Haru? What the hell is wrong with you, stupid woman?!(4:23)

Haru laughed bitterly at this. She hadn't heard that little nickname of hers for a long time and she started to miss it. Even though the words that he chose might have been a little harsh for other people, his tone was just so sad, she could feel the way that he felt when he called her.

Just answer the freaking phone already!(4:24)

What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened.. b-(4:27)

Haru felt the hot tears rolling down her face. He just kept on repeating the same thing until the time was up. She couldn't catch what he was saying. Just the small little letter that escaped his lips that didn't get recorded. The only way that she would have know that it was even there was because of how often he whispered into her ear. They had gotten sensitive to picking up his voice. She missed how his breath tickled her neck when he spoke close to her. She missed everything about him and she grabbed fistfuls of her blanket and pushed it up towards her face in hopes to stop the liquid falling from her eyes.

After I left, I realized that I failed. I promised to be with you through whatever, remember? (4:29)

Just God dammit, woman. I'm sorry. (4:30)

Let me come back, Haru. (4:31)

I'll change. (4:31)

I'm sorry. I'll wait for you at your old middle school. Let the rain pour. I'll be there no matter what weather. I won't leave until I see you. (4:32)

Haru jumped out of her bed startled and certainly not ready to know that there was no awning at Midori Middle School nor was it raining when Hayato went to wait.

He didn't have an umbrella and would be soaked through by the time she got there. Fuck her stupid wishes. She did not want it to rain right now. She wanted the terrible weather to go away right now. Which resulted in her seeing a flash of lighting which was followed by the loud boom of thunder. "Shit!" she cursed aloud.

Running out of her bedroom, Haru grabbed a rain coat and shoved her feet into boots. She paused by the front door grabbing the biggest umbrella that she owned.

Her feet shuffled and moved her towards the door. Her hand settled on the doorknob and she just paused. Her system shut down like a robot.

What was the point in me going now? I just broke up with him to stop all the pain that he was feeling now. If I leave to see Hayato now, that'll all go to waste.

Haru stood a few steps back from the door. She reached towards the knob again and her brain was just so confused. There were so many emotions that she was feeling.

She ran out the door, slamming it for speed and let her legs carry her to the rendezvous location.

When she arrived, she saw the normal scene of a raining middle school during heavy downpours. No one was there and she sighed out in relief. When she turned her head though she saw a drenched in rain Gokudera Hayato.

She hid behind the large tree that grew outside school premises. The large sakura tree that had lost it blossoms a few weeks before. She held her umbrella back from her face and focused hard on Hayato's figure.

She took a moment to recollect her thoughts and breathe, to compose herself.

"Idiot! Why the hell are you out here?!" she yelled at him. This brought back memories of their middle school days. Endless shouting and arguments that meant no harm. A whole lot of bickering and teasing from friends before they stopped.

He raised his head to look at her. His face covered in water was attractive, but when wasn't he? She thought of those models in shampoo commercials, but her boy- excuse me, ex-boyfriend looked so much better."Haru?"

"Why'd you call me so many times?" She walked over to where the silver-haired male was. She held out the umbrella so that it covered him while her shoulder was being dozed by rain.

"Haru, tell me that you don't mean what you said."

"Don't be stupid. You said that you would leave me alone."

"I'm sorry for saying that. I'm sorry for not staying. I'm sorry for walking away. I knew you were hurt and that all you needed was to trust me. I'm sorry. I'm just so sorry.

"I can't be here without you. You know that. Excuse me of being selfish just this once.

"Give me another chance. Please." His eyes were pleading. He never begged but if it had to kill his pride, he'd rather that be gone than her. Because Haru was silent strength, not breaking in front of anyone to make them worry less and it gave him hope of something before going on missions.

Haru didn't mean for this to happen. She just wanted him to stay away because that's what was better in the long run. In some point of their relationship this was going to happen again and there was no getting back together then.

There was something about the way that he was being so desperate and broken that made Haru want to hold him tight and never let go.

"Haru didn't want it to come down to this, Hayato. Haru can't bring herself to have you when she knows that she's going to leave you again just like this. We both know-"

"No we don't, stupid woman. We don't know that we're going to be like this again. This is the last chance that we have to be like we were. Were you unhappy with it?"

Haru shook her head viciously and felt liquid frustration fall from her face. "Haru just doesn't want to hurt you. She'll ruin everything."

"No, you won't. I believe you. You don't have to protect me anymore. You just have to trust me with this and everything else that we're going to go through. We're members of the Vongola. We're stronger together right?" His eyes held hers and all the walls were down.

She wailed. For a shocked moment, Hayato looked around wondering what he said wrong.

"Don't do this to me, stupid octopus head. You know Haru didn't want to hurt you and now you're saying all of the right things again," Haru said as her face was all contorted in crying and smiling at the same time. She wiped away the tears streaming towards the already wet pavement.

She held out her arms in a way to signal a hug.

"Haru, I'm gonna get your shirt all wet and gross."

"I don't care."

They just stood there in each others embrace for minutes. Just muted talk and small clenches of reassurance. The umbrella was dropped and forgotten about next to them. They were in this together, weren't they?

The day after, the stayed in Hayato's apartment sick and light headed. Hayato gave Haru a quick peck on the lips while she smiled into the kiss. When the broke apart, Haru started laughing. One day they were breaking up and drenched in rain, the next they were kissing and making up while being sick. Yep, they were together, down with the common cold together.

Author's Note:

Thanks for the continued support. That was the new chapter.

I've been tired of non-stop studying for tests so it really isn't edited because I never got to the end of re-reading. If you notice any errors or would like to beta, just put it in a review or PM me.

I am taking requests for chapters. Just send me a prompt and we can discuss how it will be. Keep in mind, it will be how I choose to write it, so if it doesn't turn out as you planned, sorry.

I was on the bus yesterday and these other high school kids get on and they're talking about "kawaii" and anime and stuff while I'm sitting there half paying attention and listening to music. (This guy's friend asks if it was a verb or a noun, and I said 'it's an adjective')"My favorite genre is yaoi," the guy said, yea, GUY to his friend. Which he then explains what it is. Then he mentions yuri which his friend is like, "Is that the straight anime?" To which I have to respond, "No, that's the lesbian, girl-on-girl anime." Which was very awkward since I'm an introvert and the second time that I mentioned something. Oh well, this is the editorial, room for me to say random shit.

Leave a review. Advice, criticism, as well as just a happy note are welcome.

Word Count- 2,838
Date Published- May 13, 2014