I dreamt of you -I'm not really sure how it worked. I emerged still clinging to the point between dreaming and waking trying to desperately to remember everything but I can't recall specific details- I only remember you talking to me, I mean- it sounded like you or however you sounded to me in my head-but you talked liked you used to... the same certain way unique only to you-I briefly remember a boy... tall, fair hair, bright intelligent green eyes... nice mouth meant for genuine as well as mischievous smiles (I still remember so vividly your little boyish grin) this is how I see you how I believe you really look like at your core.
and when we were together the time slowed down for us-you told me you wanted to stay-like this with me forever.
Is this how it feels to love a ghost, a memory. How do i hold on to something like that-how was it even possible that we shared so much-that i felt such a connection with you-so strong that it allowed me to believe such an impossible story-but every girl in her core wants that mystery that impossibility- forbidden love, something scary almost destructive; Juliet loving Romeo.. Bella a human Edward a vampire, Nora's Patch a fallen angel... with you i had to believe you were who you said you were-each appearance...each moment I was taking a leap of faith, accepting-seeing past what was in front of me...and later on...against my better judgement looking for you always and selfishly wanting and hoping for you to stay.
But like that dream-all I have now are mere traces, fragments of you...memories...a promise, a possibility-this entire story that we could've had...could've shared...I wish I could stay in that dream with you there forever, relive each moment we were together...but the waking up is inevitable and I have to try and live on without you beside me.