Clary: Lacie have you seen Chris!? D: *a bit hysterical*
Lacie: *sighs* you two aren't arguing about touching each other's stuff are you? Because your sketchpads are safe in my room where you left them. *checks watch* it's a bit early to start the show still, but yeah, now that I think about it, where is Chris? I haven't seen him.
Clary: I don't know! He could be anywhere!
Lacie: Why are you so worried? I'm sure Chris is more than capable of taking care of himself o.O *phone buzzes* hey that's him, he says he's at Takis and he's asking if we want anything. *texts: Bring me a latte. DON'T FORGET SPRINKLES*
Clary: Oh thank Raziel! *sinks into chair*
Lacie: Calm down, what's got you so riled up about his safety anyway?
Clary: Chris is like a little kid in the mundane world! He gets drawn in by everything! Ever since last week when he almost went into a van when a stranger offered him candy, I just get so worried D:
Lacie: …Chris is an eighteen year old half demon, I'm sure he can handle some mundane pedophiles.
Clary: It's the pedophiles I'm worrying about! What if he beats them up and just leaves them there! How am I supposed to explain that!?
Lacie: Are you sure we're talking about the same Chris?...
Clary: Have you TRIED to go out in public with him? It's like trying to take an excited dog for a walk! He'll go everywhere!
Lacie: I didn't know this….
Clary: ugh! I can't stand this! *gets up* I'm going to find him before he causes anyone trouble! *opens door*
Lacie: Clary wait! I could just bring him back with my- *door closes and Clary leaves*-authoress powers. Huh. I guess I could just bring them both right now. But, now I have the studio all to myself…..yay selfishness! *props feet up onto table* Now, what should I do, there's still some time before I have to start, so maybe I should, PLAN WORLD DOMINATION YES THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'LL DO! I never have the time to do it, but now's my perfect chance! First I'll-!
Clary: *comes back bursting into the room with Chris in tow* Found him! He was just down the hall, everything's okay!
Chris: * hands Lacie her latte which she drinks, trying to hide the fact that she was interrupted* Honestly Clary, I'm not a dog, you don't have to worry if I'm not within your sight for five minutes
Clary: Shut up! You're capable of world domination if I don't watch you!
Chris: Anyone's capable of world domination if they put their minds to it!
Lacie: *chokes on her latte and sputters* *cough**cough*
Clary: *still looking at Chris* I mean there are some people that you just can't leave them by themselves for even a few seconds before they plan on destroying something.
Lacie: *barely recovers when she chokes again*
Chris: You alright Lacie? Is it your latte?
Lacie: *wipes mouth* I'm fine, my latte is—Hey there's no sprinkles!
Clary: Guys! The show!
Lacie: *sits reluctantly with everyone else and turns on microphone* hey you guys! Sorry about the late start, we've had some, um latte difficulties, anyway, here's the next chapter and I hope you like it. I know a lot of you are just waiting for Chris to get back already! But we shall see… Anyway, I don't own TMI, but I do own Chris! He's mine suckers, he came from my brain and he shall stay mine!
Chris: I feel like I'm some old lady's cat.
Lacie: *bangs him on the head with her microphone* Anyway, please enjoy the show, and you should all thank Clary, she just saved your world from being dominated!
Clary: wait what
Lacie: You're safe….FOR NOW
Enjoy!
Clary POV
As the three days went on without announcement, it sort of went unsaid that they were all staying.
No one had said it out loud, neither had anyone actually brought up the topic, certainly Clary didn't, but she felt like even though she didn't ask, there was no need to. They were all staying.
She thought it had mostly to with the fact that they were now wanted by the Clave as well as her, so where were they to go? But Clary tried not to think about that.
That night after their conversation, Clary had unlocked two spare bedrooms that were next to hers in the hallway of Chris and her rooms. Not only that, but she showed them the room to get into the basement that was behind the television ("What? Is there a chocolate fountain behind the fridge too?" Maia exclaimed as Clary did so). Jordan and Maia took one guests room, Jace took the other, and Isabelle didn't mind sleeping in the room behind the television, ("Getting in and out of that little door is going to be a pain though," she said) and after pulling out the mattress from the convertible sofa, Alec had situated himself in the living room.
She had pulled out an inflatable bed from the cupboards too, so that Simon could sleep in the living room too, but Clary thought as she looked at the way Simon and Izzy held hands that he'd have different sleeping arrangements.
Huh, I wonder if Alec minds, she had thought as she bade everyone a good night and locked herself in her room.
So on the fourth morning afterwards, three whole says having finished, the morning in which Clary had expected to see everyone lining up for the door to leave, even though none of them said they would, but instead she found them same thing she'd found the same thing she found previously: all of her friends lounging about the living room and kitchen, all either still in their pajamas or wearing clothes to work out in.
It was strange, seeing them all together there that morning. It was like Clary was still in the Institute, and they'd all come to Takis for breakfast like normal. It was weird, seeing them all, feeling like they were invading her and Chris's home, their space.
But at the same time, she never wanted them to leave again.
So when she entered the scene, wearing black track pants and a green unzipped sweater revealing her black kami, she didn't question them as Maia passed her a piece of toast covered in jam.
"So are you guys ready?" she asked them all she chugged down her glass of milk.
They all nodded, except for Isabelle, who gasped and declared, "Wait!" and dashed as she pulled the television aside (which was now on hinges like a door so that she didn't have to keep taking it down every time) and jumped into her room, quickly emerging with a bright pink sweatband. "Now I'm ready."
Clary resisted the urge to roll her eyes and laugh. Last night everyone had taken turns pulling their belongings out of the cupboard, another thing showing their permanent residence, and Izzy had taken the longest in getting all of her things.
"Hey Clary," Jordan asked, indicating towards the cupboards, "Can you pull people through these things?"
She blinked at his question, then shook his head, "No, there are magical walls that prevent anything, um, living to be sent through the cupboards."
"Oh."
Now that everyone was ready to go, Clary walked to the space on the wall where the door to the training room was, and made it visible for everyone.
For the past few days, Clary had gone to train in the morning, much to Simon's disapproval because of her back, but it felt fine now. Except that she now had a large scar that she knew would never go away. The more she inspected it in the mirror, the more it resembled a shorter version of Chris's whip scars, and for some reason, that comforted her, and she quickly came to not care about it.
However, when she went train, everyone came down with her, and before she realized it, they were all training together, even Maia, Jordan and Simon, who weren't even Shadowhunters.
Better than training alone, at least…
As she pulled open the training room door, seeing the flickering witchlight lighting the way down, she quickly turned to them as they all made their way around the door.
"So umm guys, after training, we should discuss how we're going to open hell, to do what I want to do," she suggested. She felt weird saying it, felt weird as she reminded them the reason as to why they were all here, and at the same time she had a moment's panic as she wondered whether they would all leave now, disgusted with the fact that she wanted them to help her bring back Chris.
But no one objected.
"Sure." Maia said, putting her hair in a plait, "I was wondering when we were going to do that."
Simon nodded, bending down to tighten a shoe lace on his sneakers.
As soon as they were all in the training room, they all immediately split up into smaller groups. Jordan, Alec, Simon and Jace went to show off their strengths by seeing who could jump highest and mark the wall with a knife, while Clary, Maia, and Isabelle were doing target practice with some the knives that Clary had originally used on her first training practice here with Chris. The handles felt familiar and soared through her fingertips almost as if they were doing it on their own accord, the knife landing dead center each time.
No one said anything contrary to the matter, and she couldn't help but think it had something to do with the fact that Jace said he'd stay, like they were all afraid to say yes, but after Jace had done it, it was so much easier to follow along. She couldn't figure it out.
Speaking of Jace, it seems that he had reverted back to his original state, acting like the Jace that Clary knew. He was now instructing Simon and Jordan how to do a 'proper' sit up, but with Jace, sit ups meant having your hands behind your head while a heavy object tied around your wrists weighed you down while you tried to bring your face up all the way to your shins. Simon was doing okay, but Jordan was panting with effort. Clary allowed herself to smile as Jace did thirty sit ups in a row without breaking a sweat and he laughed at Jordan.
He seemed to notice her looking, but before her turned around, she was already throwing another knife. He was back to normal alright, but not around her. He always seemed to hastily look away from her, or ignore her presence. Yesterday, they had both woken up and gotten out of the room at the same time, and had met up in the empty hallway upstairs, Clary was just about to give an indifferent 'good morning' when he moved his eyes away and made his way down the stairs.
She didn't know whether to feel hurt, or relieved, certainly she didn't like the fact that they acted like strangers, especially since the only thing he'd spoke to her was when he told her he'd stay, but that was it. She should have known that things would be this complicated, besides, even if they were to talk, what would they be? Would they still be boyfriend girlfriend, because Clary no longer felt like that was the case.
But still, calling him just a friend was belittling what they had.
You know, Clary thought as she tossed another knife straight into the bull's eye, missing Izzy, who was retrieving her blades by inches, Normally, this would be called boy troubles.
This doesn't feel like boy troubles though! How do you pass off the idea that your probably ex-boyfriend decided to help you bring back your demon brother who you may or may not be in love with as boy troubles?
I just had to have a big heart, didn't I? I couldn't have had a heart of stone and not be in love with anyone…At this point I think I'd be content with living alone with maybe thirty cats…And I'll name them all after animes… From Soul Eater I'll name one Blair, from Pandora Hearts I'll name one Cheshire, and from Black Butler I'll name one Sebast-
Her knife swerved off course as her thoughts momentarily stopped. It landed just outside of the target on the wall.
I really need to talk to someone about this, but who can I talk to this about? Not Isabelle, she'd be mad at me for making Jace upset, not Maia, because I don't think she'd like to hear about my feelings for Chris in that way, and even though I love and adore Simon, I think even this situation surpasses even his normal challenged from me.
I wish my mom was here.
The second she thought that she stopped. Her knife was still in her hand, just about ready to be thrown.
Her mother, Jocelyn.
Clary was not a bad daughter, she has thought about her mother. Thought about how much pain and anguish she must have caused her because of Clary's actions, but what could she do? Jocelyn is probably mourning the leave of her daughter like she mourned the fact that her son was never given the chance to be a normal Shadowhunter.
Jocelyn made her choice, and so did Clary, but still, what happened to her? How was the women who raised her? Who taught her to be who she was?
She was suddenly taken up by the urge to know, and in her sudden panic, she turned on the spot, and her eyes landed on Alec, who was alone by one of the farther brick columns and was looking at the weapons mounted there.
Looking around to see that everyone was caught up in their own activities, she sauntered over to him, putting her knives on some of the nails on the wall as an excuse for her reason being there.
"Hi Alec, how are you?" she asked conversationally.
The blue eyed boy glanced at her suspiciously, and then responded, "I'm fine, okay I guess." He took down a short blade with a red handle and began to inspect it.
"I'm sorry for getting you in trouble, I can't imagine how much it means to you to be in trouble with the Clave," she apologized. And it was true; Alec seemed like the sort to follow the rules at all times.
He shrugged, "It's not as if the Clave didn't already have their doubts about me, what with me being, you know."
"Gay." She meant to say it as a question, but it was the truth, even if he still wasn't comfortable with it being out in the light.
"Yeah, that," he mumbled as he replaced the blade and commenced to draw runes on his arms with his stele.
Clary was now running her fingers absently over a certain emerald green dagger, and she questioned, "So how's Magnus? You two getting along alright?"
"What?" he said, startled, "Yeah, we're, we're fine. Why the question?"
"Just asking," she quickly said, tired of skirting around what she really wanted to ask. "Listen Alec, I've got a question for you."
He raised an eyebrow, which she was jealous for because she still couldn't do that! "You can ask, but I can't assure you that I'll give you an answer."
She blinked, momentarily stalled. "That's a cool phrase, mind if I use that?"
"Is that your question?"
"What? No, I mean—" she sighed, "I just want to know how my mom, how Jocelyn is."
"Oh," Alec said, and then his eyes took on the look of someone who was choosing how to use their words.
"Just say it Alec, I only want to know." Then, unexpectantly, against her will, her voice lowered, sounding like a little kid, "She hates me, doesn't she?"
The look on her face must have been pitiful, and Clary wished she could have erased the expression forever, for Alec quickly put his stele away and gave her his full attention, as if worried she'd burst into tears.
"No, it's not like that," he informed her, "The truth is, I haven't actually seen Jocelyn, not since, well, not since Alicante."
"So you don't know how she is?"
"That's the thing, I know some things about her." He told her.
"Like what?" she pounced on this small thread he gave her, this small strand of hope.
"Well, I wasn't there, I got the invitation but only Magnus went, I'm not one for weddings—"
"They got married?" Her voice remained low, but it was also dull, flat.
They got married, without her…
"Yeah, they've been postponing it for so long, I think Luke convinced her to do it in the end. They were married about two months ago, I think. I was a small wedding, barely anyone was there, and Jocelyn didn't want to have it in Alicante, so they had it in an Institute in London, one where I think your ancestor was once the head of."
"Where are they now?" she asked him, wondering.
"They're still in England, Clary. Luke thought it was for the best if they stayed there. He thought it would be better for Jocelyn, if, if—"
"If they were as far away from where I lived as possible." She finished for him, even though that wasn't the wording that he would have used, she knew that's what it was.
"Clary, I'm sure your mom loves you," Alec said, unsure of how to respond, "I'm sure—"
"Thanks Alec," she told him, really meaning it, "That's all I needed to know." She smiled at him, and he gave her a small, pitying one in return. She turned away, leaving him to finish whatever he was doing before she came in and asked about her own problems.
So she was in England, far away from New York, where in a sense, they both grew up. They were both raised in New York, whether Clary was physically grown there, or whether Jocelyn was forced to start a new life there, it didn't matter. She was gone now, their place at Luke's probably sold by now, being lived in by strangers, and they were both living new lives elsewhere, and Jocelyn was starting all over again. She had to leave her home, leave her child, so that she could start a new life.
In a weird way, it relieved Clary. She didn't regret what she did, not at all, but she did regret that she now would probably never see her mother the same way ever again. At least she didn't have to worry about hurting her anymore.
As she made her way back to the target on the wall, she noticed how Maia and Izzy were no longer, there. Instead, they were watching as Simon raced Jace as they both impossibly climbed up the wall, as if they were literally crawling up it.
"Jace, you can't beat me." Simon taunted, looking down as he easily saw Jace about two meters below him, who was struggling a lot more than Simon was to stay on the wall, "I'm a vampire, meaning I've got mad skills you can't even compete with."
"Shut up, Daylighter," Jace groaned as he advanced upward, "Or I'll knock you down." He tried to seize Simon's ankle, but Simon easily climbed up another few inches so that Jace just barely missed him.
"The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout," Simon teased, "Down came the rain and washed the spider out," he nudged Jace's fingertips with his shoe, causing Jace to slide down half a meter.
Jace huffed, "Who are you calling itsy bitsy?"
Meanwhile, feet below, everyone was laughing and watching as Simon easily climbed all the way up the wall, and was now proceeding to crawl across the ceiling.
"It's like he's got suction cups on his hands or something," Maia said in awe while Jace continued to climb up, "But Jace is just using his strength, isn't he?"
"Yeah well, Shadowhunters don't come with suction cups," Izzy grinned as Simon was now moving only by using his fingers, his feet dangling way above them.
"This is great," Jordan laughed as Jace finally made it to the ceiling and was just noticing how Simon was halfway across the training room ceiling, "We've got two amazing werewolves, four trained Shadowhunters, not to mention Spiderman over there, the Clave better watch out!"
Clary laughed along with everyone else, even Alec as he came over to join them.
"I'm not Spiderman! No way am I wearing spandex!" Simon shouted over their laughter.
"You should really consider it though," Jace called. He abandoned the idea of trying to climb the ceiling, and instead jumped from the wall to the nearest brick column, latching onto it, "I mean, I'm pretty powerful as it is, but if they get a sight of you wearing spandex they'd probably die laughing, saving me a lot of work."
"Don't listen to him Si! I'd love to see you in spandex!" Izzy shouted to him.
Simon cried out, "Not helping!" over their roar as Clary doubled over, tears even coming out of her eyes from laughing so hard.
"Yeah, the Clave will love that," Maia said as she regained her breath.
"We should have a name for ourselves," Jordan announced suddenly, "Before they give us a name themselves."
"Yeah," Simon agreed, letting go of the wall and gracefully landing on his feet without a sound, "What if the Clave starts to call us, like, The Circle 2 or something?"
"Eww no," Isabelle said, "We're not going to be called that."
"You just wait and see," Simon said as he walked over to them, leaving Jace who was telling him if he had given up already to jump around the columns, "They've probably already started to come up with some weird story and saying that Clary is now taking up where her brother and father have left off," he took on some lofty old man-ish tone, pulling at a non-existent beard, "Yes, as you can see Clarissa Adele has taken it up to herself to continue the Morgenstern legacy of wanting world destruction, in which she will do so while wearing the most elegant of white suits, just as her father did. She will make up an army of many paintbrush wielding demons, and will attempt to destroy us to create a world in which Valentine would have dreamed of. Together with her fabulous friends, including that one handsome Daylighter, if they were to take over, what do children say these days? Ah yes—Shit would hit the fan."
Clary didn't know whether or not to laugh at that though. Is that really what the Clave thought of her? Is that what her mother thought of her? As just another Morgenstern? Another enemy that they would have to defeat?
Jace joined them in their little huddle, swinging a seraph blade between his fingers, "You know what we should be called? 'Jace and the Shadowhunters' no, better yet, 'Raziel's Chosen.'"
"I don't think Raziel chose us," Jordan pointed out.
"Oh that's because I was still referring to myself." He explained.
"What about us?" Alec asked.
"I could've sworn you didn't want to be part of this in the first place, Alec." Isabelle joked.
"That doesn't mean we have to be excluded." Alec muttered.
A sudden question came to Clary's mind.
"Wait, Jordan," she said, causing Jace to walk a bit closer to Alec, which she ignored, "Will you be in trouble by the Praetor Lupis because of this?"
"What? Oh, yeah, I guess so." He answered without any worry whatsoever.
"But, wasn't that your dream, what you lived for?" Clary couldn't help but feel worried. He was just one more person that she affected.
The lycanthrope seemed to notice, and he added in a softer tone, "its fine. I joined the Praetor Lupis because of what I did to Maia," he nudged her shoulder, making her smile, "But everything's fine now. Yeah, getting kicked out of it really sucks, but it's not the end of the world."
Clary nodded, but it didn't get rid of the feeling of how much people around her have sacrificed.
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After training some more, Clary was trying to think about how to bring up the topic of how they were going to get Chris out of hell as they climbed out of the tunnel and came out into the kitchen. Luckily, she didn't need to though, because Simon brought it up for her.
"Hey Alec, why doesn't Magnus just summon Chris like you did that demon a while ago? The one in your house?" Simon suggested as he pulled out a bag of blood from the cupboard.
"He can do that?" Clary quickly asked. "Wait when did he do that?"
Isabelle gave her a quick update. "It happened when you were with Sebastian and Jace, we summoned this demon and had to clean up afterwards and stuff."
"Of course you'd remember that," Alec muttered from a kitchen stool, sipping from a bottle of water. "And Simon, even if Magnus could, he doesn't even know how to find us, this house is untraceable. Where are we now, by the way?" he directed his question to Clary.
She shrugged, "haven't checked. Should be somewhere different now though, but there's not really any point in checking now, it's bound to change soon again." She sipped from her own water bottle, "But it doesn't matter where the house is, just where we are. We can go find the nearest city or town or remote forest and wait for him there."
Clary couldn't help but feel excited. Of course the power to get Chris back was in the one person who sent him there, but at the time she'd been so busy avoiding any sort of contact with them that she almost forgot. Almost. It's kind of hard to just forget Magnus. He leaves his mark on you, that warlock does.
"Wait," Jace spoke, making Clary more of her water to give her something to do, "We're going out into the public? Don't you think that's a little bit risky? What with the Clave after us? Alec, how has the research been going on that, by the way?"
Alec, without them knowing at first, has been taking papers from Maryse's desk through the cupboards. Of course, he says he's returned them, but from those paper's, news clippings (Alicante had its own newspaper?) important looking documents, including letters from Clave officials, all pretty much warning Maryse that if she was in any way involved in the affair of 'Clarissa Morgenstern,' as the Clave now referred to her as, that she would be stripped of all of her titles and possibly even shunned from the Nephilim community. Not only that, but they demanded, time and time again, in multiple letters, that she yield any information on the whereabouts of her children.
That disgusted Clary. Did the Clave really think that a mother would give away her children like that?
But then again, Jocelyn was just as willing to let them send not only Chris but her as well to hell…
It was sort of obvious that the Clave would be suspicious of Maryse and her husband, considering that they were ex-members of the Circle, so she would be one of the first to blame. But what made Izzy and Alec and Jace swell with gratitude was when the other day, Alec read a letter that Maryse had not yet sent back to a certain Shadowhunter, as she wrote that she was no longer working any Morgenstern, and that she gave her children her utmost trust, and that she doesn't believe in anything the Clave might say about them. Not only that, but she also wrote that even if she was wrong and her kids were in fact working against the Clave, then it wouldn't matter because she still wouldn't betray them to anyone who might want to give them the same fate as Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern.
Alec ruffled his hair a bit, "The Clave's got a reward for anyone who manages to identify, and or capture us."
"Sweet, we're wanted," Simon interjected.
The blue eyed Lightwood rolled his eyes, "Every adult Shadowhunter is on alert, so any place with a huge number of Nephilim is a big no-no."
"So we'll have to be all sneaky like then," Isabelle said, "We'll need disguises, everyone's bound to know what we look like."
"We'll have to leave at night, better chance of no one finding us." Maia added.
"And we'll need a plan," Jace began, "It's best to not be all grouped together, that way we don't look suspicious. There's seven of us, so we'll need groups of three and one of two and—"
"Or—" Clary broke in before anything got too hectic. "We could just go in broad daylight, where Magnus can see us, go into a café and wait for him there."
Everyone started to protest but Clary was ready for all of them.
"Okay, one, I've been doing this for weeks, and if it's one thing I've learned, it's that it's best to be one with the crowd. Think, how ridiculous will we look wearing disguises? Especially if we're in some place where wearing huge sunglasses and a trench coat is slightly bizarre. Also, we're a group of Shadowhunters, werewolves and a vampire, wouldn't it seem sort of obvious that we prefer the nighttime opposed to the daytime?"
"But if we're in broad daylight, wouldn't it be kind of stupid, it'll be easier to find us." Jordan told her.
"Exactly what the Clave will be thinking. They won't bother to search in the daytime so much, because they'll expect us to making our moves at night. So let's do it when they expect us not to. And last but not least, we're teenagers, is it really that suspicious to see a group of teenagers just hanging out at the mall or something? It's the perfect disguise, because it's the truth."
"I agree with Clary's plan, because frankly sneaking around in disguises and stuff feels way too Scooby Doo for my liking," Simon remarked.
"Fine," Isabelle relented, "I already had the perfect idea for my costume though. Guess it won't be necessary."
"Yup," Clary made her way towards the stairs of the hallway, "I'll take a shower and see where in the world we are. Alec, can you tell Magnus the plan?"
Alec nodded, already pulling out his phone.
"Cool," she jogged her way up, opened her door, which only opened when she placed her palm on it, and stepped inside.
However, she did not immediately take a shower. She leaned against her door, with her head down, a wave of unrecognized emotions seizing her unexpectedly. Sinking to the ground, she pulled her knees to her chest, curling into a little ball in the dark room. She hadn't even opened the curtains. Not in three months.
We're close, so close I can almost feel it
But what will I do I'm there?
It was her new problem. Before, how she'd explain her situation to everyone if the Clave ever found them, ever found her and Chris. But now, she couldn't care less what the Clave thought. Now, she cared about how her friends would act if Chris were to come back, she feared how Chris would act. So many things could go wrong. She'd always asked herself what in the world she would do if those situations ever happened, and for some reason now, instead of the images of her standing between Chris and the rest of the world, trying to defend them, she pictured nothing.
Just wing it
That was the only thing that came to mind.
And Jace. Oh gosh how was she even going to start with this?
You know, an inner voice whispered to her, It's sort of obvious what you need to do. On one hand, you've got a gorgeous boy-angel who's all yours and nobody else's. Just take a look at that golden skin, those muscles; really it's a no brainer. Yet on the other hand, you've got, an equally gorgeous boy, I will admit, but that's disturbed by the fact that he's your brother and part demon. No one would accept your relationship. Except the ancient Egyptians, but I think it's a little past that era….
SHUT UP
Clary clutched at her head, as if she could snuff her conscious out of her, YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.
She stood up so fast she almost swayed, unbalanced, but that didn't deter her from walking over to the curtains, yanking them open, and then she walked into the secret little room that she actually slept in, and came back into her original room with a certain sheet covered easel.
She put it beside the open window, preferring the sunlight rather than the light she could make if she simply flipped the switch by the door to turn on the light bulb. She collected a bunch of paints, seized a paintbrush that had rolled underneath her bed, and tied her hair back into a tight bun.
She stood before the easel, and then did the one thing that always brought her comfort. Clary switched on her Sebastian switch, picturing him as well as she could, then let her brush fly around the unfinished painting that she had abandoned s long ago. Letting her unfocused emotions control her hand as it stroked across the canvas, she didn't realize how long she had been at it until she was done and noticed the change in the amount of sunlight. It was well into the afternoon now, and Clary stood back to observe her work.
It was done. The same figure stood in front of the black crevice, same scarred, winged back facing her, but instead of looking down into dark abyss, he looked upward, as if something were calling him from above, and he reached for it, one hand above his head, holding a lit blade instead of the black one he had originally held.
Though he had black wings, it was difficult to decide whether or not he was an angel looking into hell, or a demon looking out of it.
He's a demon… her inner voice mocked.
He's whatever he wants to be, she replied.
And besides, she thought as she put her stuff away, leaving the easel where it stood facing the window, and now finally taking a shower. Who cares if he's a demon? Not me.
She stripped off her clothes and let the water beat at her back and body, as if the many droplets were beating down all of her worries and concerns, all of her frenetic emotions.
Even if demons and angels can never actually be together, they need each other to balance the difference in powers.
Demons need the angels to hold them back from causing chaos.
And angels need demons to give the angel something to fight for.
Because in the end, wouldn't the angel be rather lonely if there was no demon to keep it company?
Jace POV
Clary was spending a lot more time in her room than she had said, and in that time Jace had a lot to think about.
He'd been avoiding her. Avoided meeting her eyes every time they walked near each other, avoided talking to her, avoided even being within a certain distance of her. He didn't know why he did it, especially since he told her that he'd help her, that he'd stay.
Man, he didn't know where that came from.
At the moment, all he knew was that he had found her, and that he couldn't just let her slip away again. He'd grasped the tiny thread that kept him close to Clary, but at the moment, he didn't really know what it meant.
He paced his own room, or rather, the room he was currently sleeping in. It was in the same hallway as where Clary was, and he felt that that as a blessing and a curse. Blessing because he was with her, but a curse because he just couldn't be near her.
He felt like a coward. He was scared of getting hurt, that's why. He felt like any second Clary was going to laugh in his face, tell him that she never loved him, and then disappear again. He was close to her, but not that close.
Now that he was with her, now that he was here, he didn't know what he was supposed to do.
Clary wanted to bring back Sebastian, damn Sebastian, who he swore to himself he'd kill, who he wished he could've killed.
But Clary wants him back.
And that means he has no choice but to work with her.
He groaned, sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. The way that she spoke about him, about her demonic brother, the way she defended him and how she didn't care what they thought. The look in her eye as she protected him as if he'd been with her whole life.
His chest ached.
She had love in her eyes.
She loved her brother, her hell of a brother. But what was he supposed to do? He wanted nothing more than to stab Sebastian in the eye, but how could he do that if Clary was just as willing to jump in front of him and fight for him?
She even called him Chris, as if Sebastian was just a person of the past, just a random guy who didn't really matter. Only Chris did.
How could he go against her when she was so intent on staying with him?
I can't. He finalized. I only have two choices here. If I want to stay with Clary, then I have to help her with her brother. There's no question about it.
He looked up at the ceiling and expelled a huge sigh.
That's the only way to do it then.
Everyone else had stayed because he had stayed, he knew that much. Maybe Simon would have stayed as well, but Alec and Isabelle sure weren't as likely. Even though no one said it out loud, Jace felt like some of them still questioned Clary's complete sanity. He didn't though. He believed her whole heartedly, but he didn't know whether or not that was better or not. What was worse? That the girl he loved was under some sort of rune in which she loved a man he hated, or that she actually, truly, did love him?
He'd help her though. Even though it killed him inside. He'd help her, and he knew that if he would do, then the others would too.
They wouldn't leave Clary alone in this. He thought back to the conversation they all had once Clary had gone to bed the night before. They were in the living room, whispering in hushed voices under the light of a seraph blade on the coffee table.
"So, should we stay?" Maia was the first to ask, "I mean, she said three days, and even though she hasn't exactly repeated her offer, it's not like we can ignore it."
"Jace?" Alec asked, raising an eyebrow to his parabatai.
"I'm staying," he had answered, "My mind is made. The rest of you can leave if you want, but I'm staying."
"What? You expect us to just leave you? If you're staying we're staying!" Isabelle claimed, her brother nodding along with her.
"Guys, you do realize what staying means, right?" Maia questioned, "We know what she wants."
They were all quiet for a moment, unsure of what to say until Jordan spoke.
"I don't know about you guys, but she looked and sounded pretty convincing to me. Clary's serious about this, and I believe her. She really just wants to bring him back." He paused, "And I kind of want to help her."
"This is Sebastian we're talking about!" Isabelle pressed, "We're not talking about saving some lost puppy! It's Sebastian! The demon! The horrible person who caused the war in Alicante! The son of Morgenstern! The-"
"No." Simon said quietly, but it made Isabelle stop talking. "We're not talking about Sebastian anymore, Izzy. We're talking about Chris. The guy that made Clary turn her back on the Clave, her own brother. I know my best friend, and if she says her brother is trustable, then I may not trust the brother, but I'll trust her, and that's good enough for me."
"Maia?" Jordan asked his girlfriend, who had her arms crossed and seemed lost in thought.
"I don't know." Was the first to escape her, "I know a lot about horrible older brothers, a lot, and before Clary disappeared, I knew she hated Sebastian, I knew how much she despised her brother. Yet, for her to suddenly not only change her opinion, but to act against everyone she loved just to defend him, that's got to mean something? I come on—" she said after catching Isabelle's face, "—we all know Clary, do you really think she would have changed her mind about her own brother that drastically unless she was certain that it would be worth it?"
No one said a word, but they all knew that they agreed.
"I'm staying too," Maia finished.
"Alec?" Jace asked him.
"I don't like it, but how am I supposed to leave you on your own?" Alec answered, looking into his parabatai's eyes. Jace knew that Alec really just didn't want to leave him alone with Clary. He knew how he could get and was worried about his partner's heart getting crushed again.
"Izzy?" Alec asked her sister.
Isabelle made an indiscernible noise in her throat. "You expect me to leave if all of you are staying here?"
"I thought you disagreed with what we're going to do?" Jace smirked.
Izzy scowled, then pretending that she was weighing her options, "Let's see, help bring back a demon from hell, or face the Clave's, no, face my mother's wrath when I get back home. I'll take the former of the two horrible choices, thank you."
Simon grinned, putting an arm around her shoulders, "You've done worse!"
"Obviously," Jace had smiled then, "She's dating you!"
Even now he smiled. It had seemed so easy to make a decision then, and now his mind encircled him with uncertainties.
He glanced at the electronic clock that was on the drawers in the corner. The green lights told him it was close to midnight. They were somewhere in Australia now, according to what Clary had said a few hours ago in their brief discussion during dinner. She had seemed a bit reserved then, she had the look of someone who had just come to terms with something, though what it was, he wished he knew.
They'd gone over the plan, which was to figure out where the house was tomorrow first thing in the morning (whether they were still in Australia or not) and then have Alec tell Magnus to meet them there as soon as they found a place to meet. It was really simple in Jace's mind, but then again, sometimes simple could work wonders.
He wanted to talk to Clary, but he was trying to find the perfect moment to do so, but when would that be?
He was just about to turn in when suddenly, some instinct of some sort, told him to look behind him.
But he didn't get a chance to turn around before a voice spoke.
Clary POV
She couldn't sleep. Not with all these thoughts going on in her head. She needed to get them out, she needed to speak her mind, when she had the choice to, and not when something would make her say it.
It was now or never, she thought as she stood poised to knock on the door to Jace's room that was right by hers. For a moment she wondered whether or not he was asleep already, it was pretty late into the night, no doubt he could be sleeping. But for some reason, she didn't think he'd be asleep. Clary didn't know why, but she suspected that he'd be awake already.
She didn't want to wake him up if he had already knocked out, so she quietly opened the door, peering in to see whether or not she was right.
He was awake, go physic knowledge abilities! She mentally fist pumped. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the clock in front of them, meaning that his back was to her. After standing for a few seconds, it occurred to Clary that he hadn't noticed her yet.
She had been quiet when she entered, and she was seemingly so quiet that when she spoke he jumped.
"Having midnight thoughts?" she said, still standing on the threshold of the room. He jumped as he turned around to see the red head, immediately getting to his feet. It surprised her that he really hadn't noticed her come in.
As soon as he took her in, realizing who she was, he relaxed a bit, getting out of the defensive stance that he quickly took.
"Um," he said, "Come in." He beckoned her forth, and obliged, closing the door behind her, yet staying right in front of it. He didn't call her out for it.
"I didn't notice you come in," the awe in his voice reached Clary's ears, making her smile.
"Part of being a Shadowhunter, you've got to be so quiet not even the ghosts can hear you."
The corner of his mouth twitched, "You've gotten really good at that you know, you're training has really come a long way."
"I try," was her response, but then she noted, "You noticed?" She had been under the impression that Jace avoided her like the plague.
"Kind of hard not to," he scratched the back of his neck, "Considering that just starting training this year, and yet you now have all the making of a fully trained Shadowhunter."
"Well, I guess I had to catch up, I was a bit behind, wasn't I?" they were nowhere near what she wanted to talk about, but what was the point in getting straight to the point?
"So, what are you doing up this late?" Jace asked her.
"I could ask you the same thing," she said.
"Couldn't sleep."
"Me either."
"Any particular reason as to why you're not sleepy?" Jace asked, cocking his head to the side, causing his golden curls to sway a bit.
"I don't know," she told him, "I guess the shower I took earlier sort of took my energy with it."
"Really?" he chuckled, "That must have been a long shower."
"Yeah, you'd think showers would make you sleepy."
"No, baths, baths make you sleepy," he corrected her. "Considering that you just sit in your own dirty water, or in my case, sitting in—"
"Spaghetti." They both said at the same time, making each other laugh.
"So what were you thinking about?" she asked, leaning against the door, as he sat on the bed. His golden eyes finally looked at her, not avoiding her like they had been doing lately. "You looked pretty lost in thought."
"I was thinking that it was late, and that I should be going to bed," he quickly said.
She raised her eyebrows, then in a quiet tone she said, "Jace, that's a lie. And we both know it."
His eyes hardened, and she continued, "I know I'm not in a position to say this, but you never lie to me."
Clary has no idea what she'd doing, what she's saying. Why did she come here? Why did she do this? Why should she hurt Jace Lightwood more than she already has?
Because you're a horrible person Clary, she thought to herself, a horrible person who's strung along all these people down into her troubles with her. I thought I cut off all ties, but I guess I was wrong.
"I was thinking," Jace spoke, "About what I'm supposed to do now."
Clary didn't dare speak.
"I said I'd help you, that I'd stay here and help you, but how am I supposed to help you when you want to bring back a guy who we both swore was evil."
She still didn't speak.
"I was looking for you, or I was trying to, the fact that we happened to be in the same place at the same time is a miracle to me. This whole time, I've been looking for things that could help you, help us, because what I said about the Clave is true. I don't believe in them anymore. I don't want to work for a government that's ready to send sixteen year olds to hell. I never realized it before, but I hate the Clave, I really, really hate them. And I understood that if you were going to be chased by them, and I was still working for them, then was I any better?"
"You're nothing like the Clav—" Clary began but he shook his head.
"If the servant kills under the master's orders, then who's to blame? The master for ordering the servant to do so? Or the servant who complied?"
"It depends on the situation!" Clary argued.
"The situation doesn't really matter, they're both to blame, both master and servant, and the only way for the servant to be free of blame is if they no longer worked under the master. That's what I'm doing. I no longer serve the Clave." He peered up at her across the room with those golden lion-like eyes, "I love you Clary, and I betrayed my master for you."
What little courage she managed to build up crumbled. She could feel herself coming apart from the inside, and she wondered how much of it showed in her eyes because Jace summarily stood up and asked sharply, "What's wrong."
She hugged herself. Slowly shaking her head back and forth, she looked up at Jace who was now standing right in front of her.
"I'm so sorry." She whispered, forbidding herself from crying. She wouldn't cry, she couldn't let herself fall apart, not now.
She took a deep breath, clearing her throat as Jace asked, "What?"
"I'm sorry Jace, for everything I've done to you, for all of the things I've done. I'm sorry for running out on you, and disappearing again and again. I'm sorry that I dragged you along with me—"
"Hey, that was my decision, you didn't have any—"
But she went on, "If it weren't for me you wouldn't be chased by the Clave right now, I'm sorry for all the trouble," she looked at him, her eyes digging into his, "and all the pain I've caused you."
"I'm sorry for never explaining anything, for it to take this long for us to be able to have a proper conversation. Three and a half months Jace, it's been three and a half months since we've had a decent conversation. And throughout all this time, I'm, I've…" she couldn't find the words to describe just what she was or did, she couldn't even look at him anymore without feeling like she was looking at something lost.
A warm sense spread on her shoulder, and she knew Jace had put his hand there.
"Clary, what happened?"
It was a loaded question, with many answers.
"I don't know, I really don't. One day I'm seeing you in the infirmary, another day I'm waking up to have breakfast with my brother. It all happened so fast, that I didn't realize that things had changed until I was forced to stop and look back, and see how much I'd strayed from what I thought was right," Clary spoke, "I can't deal with this right now, I don't know how I can possibly explain any of this to you—"
She could have stopped him. She saw him coming, a part of her knew, but she acted like she didn't.
Even so, when Jace's lips were upon her, she was caught off guard.
It was just like always, just as she remembered it. She let him kiss her, let the familiarity of his mouth on hers, of his hands on her neck carry her away. She let him press her against the door, flowing with the familiarity of it, feeling the sparks that usually went on whenever they were like this. The heavenly fire within him was gone now, which was why she was able to be this close to him, pressed this tightly against the door, as if he had been waiting for this for a long time.
It was all there. The heat, the sparks, the floating feelings and happy sensations. Nothing had changed, it was almost as if someone had taken her back in time, back to the day before she met Chris in that alleyway…
And there it was.
That thought that made it all go bad.
Yes, everything was familiar. Everything was the same. But the intensity was gone, replaced by Chris…
Why is it that when I was with Chris, I thought of Jace, but now that I'm with Jace, I think of Chris! Make up your mind Clarissa! A girl can't be in love with two guys! It's NEVER happened before! And even if it did, it wouldn't end well!
It was almost as if he felt her sudden thoughts, for he pulled back, asking her with her eyes what was wrong.
His hands, his pianist hands that she knew and cared for, were resting on her gently, one on her cheek, and the other on her shoulder. He moved the hair that had gotten in her forehead out of the way, and looked intensely at her, as if he were trying to peer into her soul, her thoughts, her heart.
She could only close her eyes and shake her head, feeling a weight drop in her stomach.
Jace didn't move, but suddenly his hands felt a lot heavier, "What happened between you and Sebastian?"
He asked it in such a neutral voice, she could almost feel the emotion wanting to jump out of him.
"Chris." She told him, "His name is Chris. I know you hate Sebastian, I know you want him dead. But he's not Sebastian anymore, he's Chris. And as for what happened between us, I—"her voice caught, "—I don't know. I don't think I'll ever able to explain it properly."
"Clary—"
"I love him, Jace," she blurted out before she could stop herself, "But the thing is, I still think I love you too."
"Then why did you leave?" he asked her, letting her go, stepping away from her, his voice rising, "If you loved me, then why didn't you tell me? Why did you have to leave?"
"Because, because he needed me more, he needs me more than you do right now, Jace!" She pressed, trying to make him understand, "No one's ever loved him, not our parents, not anyone. Don't you see? He needs someone to care for him, and I do!"
"I needed you too!" Jace cried, "I know you wanted to help your brother, but why didn't you tell me any of this!"
"Because I didn't know what I was doing! I didn't understand what was going on with me, what was going on with us! Little by little, the more I was with him, the more I got to know him, I just, I realized—"
"You realized what?" he asked slowly.
"He needs people too."
"He's a –"
"Don't tell me he's a demon. I know that, but you know what, I was a demon too! For almost two weeks, I was a demon too, and you know what?" she asked him, "It's not as bad as a lot of people think."
"That's because you're you! You know how to control yourself!"
"He can control himself too! You haven't seen what he's like now!"
Jace snorted, "He was just the same way when he was in the courthouse, he didn't even try to defend himself."
"That's because he didn't try! He didn't want to! He did it for me!" Clary almost shouted.
"What?" Jace blinked.
"We knew, Jace," Clary explained, "Knew that the Clave probably thought I was working as Chris's servant or something. We knew that if Chris was going down, then they'd push me down with him. And he didn't want that. He made it look like he forced me into it, made it look like I was innocent, so that I wouldn't get sent to hell too."
When Jace didn't speak, Clary continued, "He didn't want me to suffer the same fate as him. He knows what he is Jace, and he knew that anyone who was associated with him would be suspicious. He easily could have escaped from there, but he didn't, because he knew it would mean repercussions not just for himself, but for me too."
Jace fell onto his bed, saying nothing. Clary felt like she was done, she'd said what she had to.
She turned to open the door, and was just about step past the threshold when she heard fast footsteps and a hand latched onto her upper arm.
She turned to see Jace, pulling her back into a hug, his arms wrapping themselves around her back.
"I don't want to understand," he spoke into her hair, she let her arms stay limp by her side. "But in a weird way, I hate that I can."
Clary laughed slightly, "Is that really what you're going to say right now? After I spilled my guts to you?"
Jace chuckled lightly, "I don't agree with this, with any of this. But I do know that I'll always be by your side. Always, even if I have to share it with your brother, I'll be there."
Clary smiled into his chest, her arms still by her side, until he released her. He bent down, as if to kiss her again, but then he stopped, and instead it landed on her forehead.
"I won't kiss you again," and when she looked surprised, her added, "Of course, you might die without my heavenly lips to bless yours." After she had lightly, well actually roughly, punched him in the arm, he said in a more serious tone, but with a smirk on his face, "What I meant to say was, I won't kiss you, until we've got Chris back, and you properly let me kiss you. I won't kiss you until I know my place with you. Is that alright with you, Fray?"
Clary, even though she knew that this would cause mass confusion and emotions later on, felt a huge smile slowly creep onto her face.
"Deal." She said, then as she turned to her room, stopping on her own threshold and looking back to see him standing on his, looking at her, she added, "Love sucks when it's not requited, isn't it?"
"And ironically, that's my favorite type of declaration of love." He smirked.
"Well doesn't that suck for you then?" Clary smiled as she began to close the door.
"Wait what!"
"Hush," Clary toyed, "There are people asleep in this house." She was closing the door as slow as possible.
"But you said you loved me back here!"
"I did? Huh, I can't recall." She said in an airy tone, "Goodnight."
"Clarissa—"
Clary closed the door and locked it. Walking to the easel by the window, a spring in her step, she touched the elegant painting.
"Man," she sighed to herself, "What am I going to do with two guys? How can a girl possibly be in love with two guys?"
Damn Clarissa, she grinned, get your priorities straight
Lacie: You could give one to me! And then I'd sell him on EBay!
Clary: As long as we split the money
Lacie: you've got a deal!
Chris: -_- do I have a say in this?
Clary: OK, how do we make this a fifty-fifty chance?
Lacie: You should toss a coin, heads we sell Jace, tails we sell Chris
Chris: Oh please, don't mind me, I'll just sit here while my fate is determined by the flip of a coin
Clary: Should we tell Jace? I mean Chris knows about this
Lacie: Well yeah, I guess you could, makes no difference whether he knows or not
Chris: It makes a difference!
Clary: how?
Chris: Think if he loses and gets bought by the highest bidder. The reaction on his face when he gets taken by his buyer will be a million times greater than if he does now
Lacie: So the difference is how much he reacts to it?
Chris: and how much he suffers from it :D
Clary: Chris is just mad because I still love Jace
Chris: Which is completely unreasonable because this is still a Chris and Clary fanfic, right Lacie?
Lacie: Well it is, but I've been getting quite a few people who want Jace and Clary to stay together
Chris: That's ridiculous, I mean they've been reading a fanfic starring the two of us, read all of the chapters with US yet still hope for a Jace x Clary ending?
Clary: That's hope!
Chris: That's stupid
Lacie: Well I still don't know what I'm going to do with you three! So for now we're going with what Cassie Clare did with Will, Tessa and Jem
Chris & Clary: That's copyrighted!
Lacie: The hell you talking about! This is ALL copyrighted! This whole fanfic is copyrighted!
Clary: True…
Chris: So wait is Clary going to end up with one of us and then when they die she'll be with the other? O.o
Clary: I feel used…
Lacie: NOT THE WAY IT ENDED. Just the way clary can't seem to decide between the two of you, I don't know, plotting world domination seems so much simpler than figuring out an ending for you guys
Clary: well get started, not the world domination thing, but the ending, you said you wanted to end it soon, right?
Lacie: Sooner rather than later, but I still can't decide, AHH
Chris: this girl is indecisive
Lacie: Oh whatever! Hello my wonderlovely readers, how'd you like this chapter? Remember to leave a review, they make me happy! And with your review if you could just tell me who you want Clary to end up with, that's be helpful too
Clary: Oh yeah! And while you're telling Lacie who I should end up with because apparently I can't decide for myself *glares at Clary* please tell me how much money you'd give to buy the other one! That way I can know whether or not selling them would be worth it!
Chris: That's it, I'm buying myself, it's just going to have to come to that
Lace: See you soon! Hopefully!