Chapter Thirteen

Jack reached for the remote control and paused the movie. Patting Ianto's knee, he gathered up their empty beer bottles along with the discarded wrappings from their dinner and rose to his feet. "Coffee? Or another beer?"

Ianto blinked and looked up at him with a blank expression, as if he'd only realised belatedly that the action on the screen had frozen. "Um... coffee, thanks." He moved to stand up.

Jack gestured for him to sit back down. "Just stay there and relax. Keep watching the movie if you want."

Ianto nodded and settled back onto the sofa with a sigh. Scrubbing a hand over his face, his gaze returned to the frozen image. He stared at it, his features still devoid of expression, and made no attempt to reach for the remote.

Stifling a sigh of his own, Jack retreated to the kitchen to make the coffee. After cutting short their visit to the museum, he'd taken Ianto to a nearby pub and bought them a round of beers along with a scotch for Ianto, figuring the Welshman needed something stronger. Ianto had remained quiet and withdrawn throughout, clearly upset from the encounter with his ex-girlfriend and her fiancé.

After the pub, Jack had suggested fish and chips, which they'd bought at Mermaid Quay and taken back to his flat. Ianto had picked at his food half-heartedly and remained mostly uncommunicative. Even Jack's suggestion of a Bond movie had been met with little enthusiasm, and he wasn't sure what else to do to lift Ianto's spirits.

Although concerned about his friend, he couldn't help feeling frustrated that their evening together had been derailed by the unfortunate chance encounter. He also couldn't quite forget the look on Ianto's face or his hasty denial when Lisa had asked if the two of them were together. He couldn't have expected anything else, but the reminder that Ianto considered the notion to be so unthinkable had pained him nonetheless. After what had been a very enjoyable start to their evening together, he was once again faced with the unwelcome reality that he and Ianto might never be more than friends.

Taking a breath and trying to push the unpleasant thoughts aside, he focused on the task at hand, preparing their coffees and then carrying them over to the sofa.

"Here we go." He placed the two steaming mugs on the table in front of them. "How about some dessert? I got some more of that chocolate ice cream you like, or there are some bacon doughnuts in the freezer. It's no trouble to thaw them out."

As he'd hoped, the latter suggestion garnered a response, albeit in the form of a withering glare. "Haven't you tortured me enough with those bloody doughnuts?"

Fighting back a smirk, Jack shrugged and sat down beside him. "Well, no. Not really."

Rolling his eyes, Ianto reached for his coffee and cradled it in his hands. "Just the coffee is fine. Thanks, Jack." He lifted the mug and breathed in the aroma before blowing across the top and taking a tentative sip.

Jack reached for his mug and followed suit. A few moments passed and he was about to resume the movie when Ianto broke the silence. "Sorry I ruined our evening."

Putting down his mug again, Jack turned to study the profile of Ianto's down-turned face. "It's not your fault." He placed a hand gently on Ianto's knee. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No... not really." Ianto glanced up, briefly meeting Jack's gaze. The vulnerability in those expressive blue depths clenched at Jack's chest. For all of Ianto's proficiency in masking his emotions from the rest of his features, his eyes gave him away.

Several moments passed, and then Ianto exhaled a soft sigh. "It was just a bit of a shock to see her again. Especially with a fiancé on her arm. Then, to top it all off, he's a bloody brain surgeon."

"Yeah, that was kind of over-the-top. Good looking guy, though, I'll give him that." Jack didn't add that under different circumstances he might have enjoyed some fun with big, handsome, hunky Brian the brain surgeon. Realising that what he'd just said wasn't exactly helpful in attempting to improve Ianto's mood, he silently admonished himself. He didn't want Ianto to think that he thought Lisa had traded up. Squeezing Ianto's knee, he added, "But he's not as good looking as you."

Ianto gave a derisive huff, but the corners of his mouth twitched. "He's not as good looking as you, either."

Jack grinned. "Well, of course not. We're two of the best looking men in Cardiff. Quite possibly all of Wales."

"Not to mention, modest too." Ianto's tone was dry, but he gave Jack another glance, this time with a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"I've always thought that modesty is overrated." Jack continued to grin, but then he noticed Ianto's hands tighten around his coffee mug and was dismayed to see the earlier tension return to his features.

"I was never good enough for her." The bitterness in Ianto's voice was unmistakeable. "I suppose a part of me always knew that... knew I could never be what she wanted..." He trailed off with an unhappy shake of his head.

Jack wondered if it was actually more the other way around, but he wasn't impartial when it came to Ianto, and he had no idea what Ianto and Lisa's relationship had been like. All he knew was that the encounter had clearly brought up some demons for Ianto and been a blow to what he suspected was Ianto's rather fragile self-esteem. It pained him that Ianto perceived himself as not measuring up to some arbitrary standard he'd set for himself. The failure of his relationship with Lisa had apparently reinforced that belief.

"I don't believe that." Jack considered his words as he continued to study the younger man. He hadn't liked what he'd seen of Lisa from their brief meeting, and he suspected that Lisa had rather enjoyed showing Ianto that she'd moved on, and in her eyes at least, moved up – but it wasn't his place to disparage the woman. Ianto had loved her, so she must have possessed some redeeming qualities too – Ianto wasn't naïve or a fool and didn't seem like the type to be blinded by his emotions. "You loved her. And I'm sure she loved you. You weren't right for each other, that's all. You shouldn't give up your dreams or try to be someone you're not to try to please somebody else. That's never going to work in the long-run."

"No, I suppose not." Ianto didn't sound entirely convinced. He finished his coffee and put down the empty mug. "It's not that I begrudge her. I'm glad she's moved on and found someone else. I hope she'll be happy. It was just hard to see her again. I wasn't prepared for it."

Jack nodded in understanding. He might not have had much experience of awkward encounters with former lovers, but he could see that this particular situation would be unsettling, especially to someone as sensitive and introspective as Ianto. "For what it's worth, I understand how it feels when everyone else seems to be moving on with their lives. Seems like everyone I know is in a happy relationship and married or in the process of getting married. It's not much fun, feeling like you've been left behind. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be happier for them, but it still kind of sucks."

Ianto managed a wry laugh and turned to look at him. "Yeah, it does." He flashed Jack a rueful smile. "We make a right pair, don't we? Both sad and single."

Jack echoed Ianto's laugh, although it was choked and laced with irony. "Yeah. We're quite the pair." Suddenly feeling a little too exposed under Ianto's gaze, he smiled and stood up before leaning back down to collect their empty mugs. "I'll make us some more coffee."

With Ianto's mood a little less dour, they watched the rest of the movie in companionable silence. Jack did manage, however, to cajole Ianto into eating some chocolate ice cream. He couldn't help laughing when Ianto once again complained of brain freeze and rubbed woefully at his temples.

The movie finished, and Jack thumbed the remote to turn off the screen. It wasn't very late, but he assumed that Ianto would want to head home since tomorrow was Saturday and he'd need to be up at an ungodly hour as usual for work. Turning towards the Welshman, Jack was surprised to find Ianto staring at him, his expression pensive and difficult to read.

There was a moment's pause, and then Ianto gave him a small, self-conscious smile. "Thanks for putting up with me tonight. You're a good friend, Jack."

Jack smiled in reply. Of course, he wanted more with Ianto than friendship, but he was pleased to hear that Ianto considered him as a friend. It was clear that Ianto wasn't someone who let people into his life easily, his reserved and guarded nature difficult to breach, so it felt like a definite milestone in their relationship. Also, there was something soft and almost fond in Ianto's eyes which filled Jack with an unexpected surge of warmth. Before he could think better of it, he slipped his arms around Ianto and pulled him close, wanting to give him a companionable hug.

Ianto tensed and pulled away, his brow creasing with a suspicious frown. "What are you doing?"

Jack shrugged, but he didn't let go. With their faces only a few inches apart as they stared into each other's eyes, he wasn't sure he could let go even if he wanted to. "I'm giving you a hug."

Ianto looked puzzled, almost as if the concept was foreign to him. "Oh."

But when he didn't protest any further, Jack pulled him back in, enveloping Ianto in his arms and breathing him in, their heads settling on each other's shoulders. Ianto didn't completely relax, but some of the tension seemed to leave his body.

It was the closer than they'd been before, and Ianto felt every bit as good in Jack's arms as he'd imagined. He kept hold of Ianto longer than was prudent, relishing their shared closeness. He'd waited so long to be close to Ianto like this, and even though it was nothing more than a platonic hug between friends, it felt profoundly intimate. He wished it could be a precursor to more.

Forcing himself to pull back, he met Ianto's eyes again and offered what he hoped was an amiable smile. "I thought you could use a hug."

Ianto was staring back at him, lips slightly parted and confusion in his eyes. They were still unusually close, neither of them having completely broken contact. Jack's hands rested just above Ianto's hips, while one of Ianto's was still pressed against Jack's lower back, the other against Jack's shoulder.

"Jack." Ianto's voice was little more than a hushed whisper. He moved back in, tilting his head and pressing his lips against Jack's.

Jack froze, too stunned to react. When his brain finally re-engaged and acknowledged that the man he'd been fantasising about since the day they'd met was actually kissing him, he began to reciprocate. Ianto, however, was already pulling away, looking stunned and confused.

"Ianto..." Jack reached for him again, but Ianto continued to pull back, moving away until his retreat was blocked by the arm of the sofa.

"Oh, God. I... I didn't... I didn't mean to do that..." Ianto was stammering, his eyes wide with shock, looking for all the world like the proverbial deer in headlights.

Still recovering from his own astonishment, but fearing that Ianto was a moment away from dashing from the flat and fleeing into the night, Jack closed the gap between them, clasped hold of Ianto's face in both hands and pressed their lips together again. Ianto responded with a muffled gasp, but then his hands grabbed at Jack, drawing him back in, and they were kissing each other again.

Under the circumstances, it should have been strange and awkward. But somehow they found just the right angle and amount of pressure, and suddenly it was one of the most perfect and intense kisses that Jack had ever experienced. Ianto's lips were warm, soft and insistent, and Jack groaned deep in his throat as he lost himself in exploring their taste and texture.

He'd always loved the intimacy of kissing and prided himself on his expertise. Much to his surprise and delight, it was apparent that Ianto Jones was also skilled in the art of kissing. Whether naturally talented or taught from experience, Jack had no idea, but the man knew how to kiss, and he kissed extremely well, with a delicious fusion of passion, enthusiasm and self-assuredness. It was both potent and intoxicating, filled with an urgency and desire that was as arousing as it was unexpected, and every bit a match for his own. Jack groaned again as the tip of Ianto's tongue teased along his lower lip. Taking that as encouragement, he tangled his tongue with Ianto's and deepened their kiss, eliciting a soft, needy moan from Ianto in return.

Then, all too soon, Ianto was pulling away again. With his cheeks flushed, his lips pinkish-red and visibly kiss-swollen, Jack didn't think he'd ever seen a more beautiful or breathtaking sight.

Ianto's eyes narrowed. "You kissed me." His tone carried an unmistakeable hint of accusation.

"You were starting to freak out." Jack shrugged, trying his best to remain nonchalant. It wasn't easy, given the rapid thud of his heartbeat combined with the arousal coursing through his veins. "It seemed like the best way to calm you down. Besides, you kissed me first. Which, by the way, came as quite a surprise. Not that I'm complaining."

"I shouldn't have. I didn't mean to. I..." Ianto was shaking his head. Abruptly, he stood up. "I should go." He turned and hurried out of the room.

Jack cursed, jumped to his feet and followed, catching up with Ianto as he was pulling on his coat at the front door. "Ianto, wait. You don't need to leave. We should talk about this."

Ianto straightened his coat, took a breath, and visibly tried to calm himself. After a moment, he looked up into Jack's eyes with an obviously strained smile. "It's fine, Jack. Really."

Clearly it was anything but fine, but Jack couldn't very well force Ianto to stay against his will. Stepping closer, he placed a hand on Ianto's shoulder and held his gaze. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Ianto gave him a brisk nod in reply. "Yep."

Jack was about to say they'd talk tomorrow, but then he remembered that he was heading up to London first thing in the morning. He'd received a call earlier in the day from a photographer friend – one of the photographers booked for a shoot had fallen ill and they needed a replacement. It was a high-profile job with a prestigious magazine and the money was too good to refuse. He'd be away for two days. Given what had just happened with Ianto, the timing couldn't have been worse.

He held back a sigh of frustration. "Look, I'm heading up to London for a couple of days in the morning, but I'll call you, okay?"

Ianto frowned, but then he nodded again. "All right." He cleared his throat and opened the door. "Have a good trip, then. Goodnight, Jack."

Jack watched Ianto's retreating form, his head spinning with a myriad of conflicting emotions. He reached up and touched his lips, which still tingled from the all-too-brief, too-good-to-be-true contact with Ianto's.

He had no idea of what in the hell had just happened. More to the point, he had no idea what he was going to do about it.