Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any characters you may recognize from the books or the movies, I wish I did but I don't... I also don't own the Narnian Calendar. It belongs to Elecktrum who was kind enough to let me borrow it for my story. Her own stories are awesome and you should go read them too.
Summary: When memory is veiled, can the love forged between two hearts survive?
A/N: If you have not read the first seven stories in the A Light in the Darkness main story arc (Awakened, Shadowed, Revealed, Concealed, Rekindled, Refracted, and Reflected), I highly recommend you do so for the full experience. However, I have included a quick summary of the previous stories so if you want to give this one a whirl on its own, you can.
Chapter Thirty: Tanith
28 Stormfall 1008
"Oreius."
Still damp from the drizzling rain and cleaning up after expending his energy demolishing the training dummies, Oreius bowed to the Great Lion. "Aslan, how may I serve?"
Aslan gave a purring chuckle then tilted His golden head slightly. "Perhaps, Oreius, it is you who needs Me. Come and walk with Me for we still have not finished our last conversation."
Oreius bowed once more then dutifully fell into step beside the Lion. His mind was already racing with their last conversation and Aslan's words concerning another, concerning Tanith. Tanith. That mare was causing him great difficulty.
"Your thoughts are on Tanith."
He started slightly, feeling guilty that he was thinking of someone other than Alambiel. His heart was now in as much turmoil as his mind. "Yes. I do not know what to do."
"You once sought to deny you considered her."
Oreius stamped an iron-shod hoof, uncaring of how the sound echoed through the deserted corridor, and flicked his tail. This was…it was very difficult. Yet, he still forced himself to answer. "I did. At the time, when I first met Tanith, I was not interested in seeking out a mate or courtship. My efforts and attentions were focused on my duties as general, training my colts and overseeing the guard for the Four, and ensuring Narnia was secure from the remnants of the Witch's army."
"And now?" Aslan's prompt came without judgment but still Oreius shivered.
His mind and heart warred with each other. Alambiel was still foremost in his heart, but he knew she was no longer his. "Tanith was and is comfortable to be around. She is sensible and well suited to being a healer with the army. She is quiet-" He cleared his throat as he recalled Tanith's words about how she had been too quiet, waiting for him to notice her. "I found Tanith refreshing the few times I spent in her company, primarily at the Christmas ball. She did not flirt overmuch and was not flighty nor given to bold impertinence and she never pushed me outside my bounds. She is comfortable."
He wrestled with his heart's guilty pang that he shouldn't be comparing another to Alambiel and that he was betraying her (for that is what he felt he was doing) in silence for several minutes. Oreius ran a hand over his face. He did not want to say the words, but he knew they must be said. "If I had not met Alambiel, if I had not fallen in love with her… I probably would have noticed Tanith and built a very comfortable life with her."
Oreius stared out a window, watching the rain gain strength and intensity. He had been surprised a fortnight ago by Tanith's declaration and invitation. After he had first realized Alambiel had stolen his heart without either of them noticing, he had shuttered his heart against all others who might have caught his eye otherwise. He knew he would likely have a comfortable life with Tanith but to do so, to even consider pursuing her invitation, he would have to find a way to take back his heart. He would have to give himself permission to feel for another what he felt for Alambiel. And he did not know if he could do that, if he could permit himself to have feelings for someone other than his Alambiel.
He closed his eyes as his heart rebelled mightily and clashed with what his mind knew was required of him. His very limbs trembled at the thought of abandoning his Alambiel. But, she is not your Alambiel anymore, is she? The thought taunted him. He clenched his fists and forced his eyes open. His voice sounded ragged to his own ears as he turned to Aslan. "I need to let Alambiel go. I feel it is best for her. And, I feel I must also look elsewhere. But, I must know, My Lord Aslan, what is it You want me to do? What choice should I make?"
Golden eyes rose and held his gaze so he could not turn away even if he had wanted to as Aslan rumbled, "The writing of your story depends on you and your decisions, Oreius. However, this promise I give you to serve as comfort through this trial and others you will experience. Oreius, son of Cadfael, son of Caderyn, and descendent of Chiron the first Centaur I named, you will have many children, sons and daughters both, and the line of Chiron and of Oreius will last unbroken through the ages until Narnia herself comes to an end."
Oreius swallowed hard. The promise of children was bittersweet in that moment. He flicked his tail then forced the question most prominent among his thoughts past his lips. "And the mother of my children?"
"The identity of their mother is part of the next chapter in your life, My son. You must turn the page to discover her."
ӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁ
33 Stormfall 1008
"General Oreius?"
Setting down the latest report from the border, Oreius pinched the bridge of his nose. There was still no sign of Mordad but the bodies of Ammon and the other three men claiming to be Achan's cousins had been discovered on a Terebinthian beach a week ago. The assassins were dead but they had no lead on who killed them (he suspected Mordad) and where they were originally killed.
A soft voice cut through his frustrating thoughts. "Is this a bad time? I can come back later."
"No." He shook his head then met Tanith's questioning gaze and waved an invitation. "Please come in. I could use a distraction from this paperwork."
Out of habit, Oreius waited for a question as to what it was he was looking at that was so irritating. The question never came. Because it was not Alambiel but Tanith in his study now. The Centauress did not speak until he looked at her. "If you are certain that I am not interrupting. I wanted to ask if you have given any thought to…to our last conversation."
He could not deny that her blush added to her comeliness. He cleared his throat. "Yes, I have."
Tanith was comfortable to be around. He knew with certainty that if he chose to accept her invitation, to pursue her, he would have very little conflict. Tanith had always respected his responsibilities as General and understood why he had to be stern and serious. She would never… She would never insist he take a holiday from his duties simply because (though she would if he were injured) and she would never pester him about his paperwork. No, she would likely wait and see if he was going to bring it up and if he did, she would listen, and if he did not, she would leave him be. She would not play pranks or cause a disaster in his armory or…or hide his armor so he'd have to chase her all over the Cair in order to find out where she hid it. He had been promised children and he tried to envision the foals he and Tanith would have if he conceded but he could only envision Centaur colts and Nymph fillies, all with blue eyes that darkened or lightened depending on their moods. He summoned to mind Tanith's black hair and warm brown eyes but they quickly melted away into blue eyes with a mischievous glint and thick golden hair with two white streaks. A lilting voice that taunted, teased, scolded, and laughed but would also offer wise counsel. The warm scent of cinnamon clinging to golden locks. Chaste kisses that still stole his very breath away.
"General Oreius?"
Oreius blinked Tanith's face into focus. Warm brown eyes looked up at him. He wanted to see blue eyes. Tanith's fingers lightly touched the back of his hand. "General Oreius? Are…are you all right?"
"Yes," he stated. He cleared his throat then gently covered Tanith's fingers with his other hand. "I- Tanith, any stallion would be most fortunate to have you by his side. However, you deserve to be loved wholeheartedly by your husband. While it is possible I could grow to care deeply for you, I have already felt what it is like to be loved and it would be most cruel of me to give you false hope and to tie our lives together when I could not love you as I should." He did not add that he could not settle for something less than what he had with Alambiel.
Tanith's eyes were wide as she pulled her fingers free. "I do not know what to say. Pray forgive me my forwardness in approaching you, General. I should never have mentioned anything about a foolish attraction."
"Tanith-"
She was already leaving. The mare paused in the doorway, tail flicking, and then she looked over her shoulder at him. "If you had not- If Alambiel had not claimed your attention and heart, do you think there might have been a chance for us?"
"Perhaps. I am sorry I hurt you, Tanith. You deserve more."
Tanith shook her head, a sad smile on her trembling lips. "You did not hurt me, General. No more than I allowed. Thank you for not giving me false hope."
After she left, Oreius put aside the paperwork and unlocked the drawer in his desk. He pulled out the drawing of Alambiel and his heart gave a painful twist. No, he couldn't settle for Tanith but Alambiel was no longer his and he still would have to allow himself to find another. His fingers traced over her face and then he put the framed drawing back in the drawer and locked it. He would need more time for his heart to heal of the wound where Alambiel had occupied it. One day, though, in a few decades, he would give serious thought to finding another. A painful vise squeezed around his heart at such contemplation but it had to be that way.
ӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁ
1 Yule 1008
Lucy sighed as she twisted her fingers in Aslan's mane as they walked along the beach. "I wish You could stay longer. Through Christmas!"
Aslan's chuckle rolled over her and tugged free an answering giggle. "My presence is required elsewhere for now, dear heart."
"But what about Kat and Oreius?" Lucy dared to question as she pet His mane. "I thought, I had hoped You would stay until their relationship was mended."
"I have stayed as long as I may, dear heart, and I have helped them both in the necessary mending. Their stories now rest on their decisions." Aslan slowed His steps and then turned to her. He gave her a Lion's kiss. "Do not fret, Lucy. Remember, even when you cannot see Me, I am still with you and I hear every prayer. The answers to those prayers may not always be what you hope or want but I will answer."
A gull cried above and Lucy looked up at the bird bobbing in the wind. She looked back down to ask Aslan which answers were going to turn out differently. The Lion was gone. His paw prints remained in the golden sand next to her. She looked up again and whispered, "I hope You visit us again soon."
ӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁ
A/N: Please Read and Review!