The Past

Lady Evelyn Larkin was executed on May 1, 1795.

It was a public affair that many attended in the square outside of the palace. Those who attended reported that Lady Evelyn died well, without any weeping or begging. In truth, she was lucky that she was beheaded rather than boiled alive, burned, or hung, drawn, and quartered. Other traitors may not have received the same mercy, but Lady Evelyn was a frequent enough face at court that the king decided to spare her a more painful death.

Everyone agreed that the best part of the execution, though, was her last speech:

"I am proud to die a lady and to die a mother, but I admit that I have one regret: dying a wife. Yes, I die as the wife of the king's advisor, but I should rather die a whore if it meant being unsaddled by vows to a craven bastard."

Then, with only a glare towards Lord Alasdair, she promptly placed her head on the block and lost it.

Of course, Christine and Edward weren't there. At the time Lady Evelyn lost her head, Christine was lying in bed next to her silently crying husband, attempting to provide comfort without really knowing how.

He had wanted to try to rescue her of course. Gavin had pointed out that it could be a trap to lure him and Christine back into captivity, but that didn't stop him from wanting to go.

"If I have to die, then so be it. I would rather die than live with the cowardice of abandoning her," he had said shakily, looking to Christine for support. Sari gave her husband an exasperated look as everyone waited for Christine's response.

For the first time, Christine let him down.

"Edward, I know that you don't want to hear this, but I have to say it. I will, of course, support you in whatever decision you make and help however I can. But, consider a few things first. If you die, which you likely will if you go through with this, your mother will still die. The only difference will be that she'll perish for nothing; she knew she was taking a risk when she helped us, but she did it to save you. I'm not sure that she would appreciate you throwing your life away for a sacrifice she felt compelled to make. Beyond that, you would leave Liam an orphan," she reasoned quietly, eyes downcast.

"He'd have his mother," Edward argued, sounding uncertain.

Christine just gave him a look that clearly said that he was an idiot if he assumed he'd be making any suicidal rescue attempt without her.

"And you'd also leave Jayne without a decent living family member," she added, staring at him intently. "Even if you do succeed, you will inevitably be seen, and once they know where we are, we'll not survive longer than a few days at most. Just know that this is a suicide mission if you go through with it, and it's not just you who will bear the consequences."

"So you want me to let her die?" Edward snapped, jaw clenching.

"I want you to think this through," Christine replied, squeezing his hand gently.

Despite a debate that lasted long into the night, Edward eventually had to accept Christine's logic.

The Present

"He just let his mother die?" Emma asked, horrified.

Killian frowned. "Weren't you listening, Swan? The options were limited. I know that your parents assume that they can fix any problem and win any fight because they are 'good', but it's not always possible. People run out of options, and sometimes people die. Sometimes there's no 'right' choice, only a choice that is least harmful."

"Well, when you put it that way," Emma muttered. Maybe her parents knew that after all, in spite of their incessant rants about hope. Wasn't the 'least harmful' choice the one they'd made when they sent her away as a baby?

When she thought about it that way, she had to admit that Killian's parents sounded less monstrous.

The Past

Understandings his wife's logic didn't mean that Edward had to like it. However, perhaps the only person who felt nearly as bad about it was Christine herself. She knew that she was right in her reasoning, but she also knew that letting his mother die would destroy Edward. She added that knowledge to the increasing pile of guilt that she hid in the back of her mind where she wouldn't have to look at it.

Life went on, but now there was one notable difference. Instead of taking care of a young child and a mentally unstable brother with the help of her husband, she was now taking care of a her son, her brother, and her husband, who mostly just lay in bed with sad, vacant eyes. He ate when Christine brought him food, but rarely moved or spoke. She imagined that this must be what it was like living with a ghost; he was there, but he wasn't at the same time. He had lost a mother, and Christine had lost a husband.

Connor seemed to enjoy the whole thing very much.

"And you act as if I'm the mental one," he sneered from his cot.

"I've never said anything of the kind," Christine sighed, soothing her currently screaming son.

"You don't have to. I can see the way you look at me. You feel sorry for me," he said disdainfully, glaring at her from across the room.

"Mama," Liam sobbed, burying his curly head into his mother's shoulder while she bounced him lightly in her arms.

"Can't you get him to shut the bloody hell up?" Complained Connor, putting his pillow over his head.

When Christine didn't respond, Connor's eyes narrowed. "Yes, I do believe I'm one of the saner ones here. At least I don't scream or sit like a bloody vegetable all day."

"You of all people should know how difficult it is to lose a parent," Christine admonished, deciding that pointing out that her brother stayed in bed all day just the same as Edward did may not be the wisest course of action.

"When father died, I had to go to prison. I had far more difficult things to worry about," Connor snapped. "But you wouldn't know. You were off parading yourself around in fancy dresses and sleeping with anyone who stood still long enough, even if that person was a Larkin and turned out to be bloody useless and incapable of coping with the smallest things-"

"Stop it" Christine shouted, finally losing her temper.

Connor raised his eyebrows, looking smug. "You just know I'm right."

Without another word, Christine took Liam to his room and shut the door. As soon as it was shut, she slid down the wall and buried her face in Liam's hair, finally allowing herself to cry frantic, silent sobs. Liam's wet eyes turned to her, perplexed.

"Mama," he babbled.

Christine just hugged him more tightly, until he began to squirm uncomfortably.

"Your father is going to be fine soon," she whispered, shaking slightly.

Unfortunately, Christine was incorrect. By the time a month past, she was sure that she could expect Edward to come back soon. But then another passed.

It took five months for Christine to finally break.

It had been a particularly bad week. Money was a bit low, because it was hard for Christine to work and balance looking after her three boys. Connor had been in a particularly ill temper because of the heat. While he now got out of bed, it was mostly to sit around in chairs and antagonize his sister. On top of everything, Liam had gotten the flu, and Christine had barely slept. That had only made her own still-lingering illness from prison worse, and she was feeling more drained than she ever had before from the constant coughing.

"Edward?" She said hesitantly, approaching their bed. As usual, his eyes stayed fixed on the wall. With a sigh, Christine climbed into bed next to him and wrapped her arm around his waist, burying her face into his shoulder.

"Will you please say something?" She tried again, a little more angrily this time.

He twitched, but, otherwise, there was no response.

"Edward!" Christine snapped, her voice breaking. She rolled over and pulled her knees to her chest, as if by making herself smaller she could hold herself together.

"I know that you're hurting, love, but..." Christine faltered, voice small and shaking, "But I've been hurt too. I know these past years haven't been easy for us, but I can't do this on my own. It's just too much, and I'm so tired."

Christine sobbed into her knees, trying to calm herself down but failing. For the first time in a while, she realized how much she missed her father. He had been a single parent and yet he'd never complained or broken down from what she could tell. She had no idea how he'd done it. Perhaps it had been easier for him; at least his spouse had been gone permanently, instead of being in some sort of half-existing state.

For a few minutes, there was no sound but the quiet crying of Christine. Then, slowly, Edward rolled himself over and wrapped himself protectively around his wife. It was the most contact she had received from him in a long time, and it almost shocked her into silence. Instead, she allowed herself to cry more, leaning into her husband in a gesture bred from former familiarity.

The next morning, Edward got out of bed before her and made breakfast. He looked exhausted and still emotionally blank, but he was out of bed. The next day, he said more than a handful of words. By the next week, he was almost himself again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered softly to her a few nights later in bed.

She gave him a loving kiss in response that promised forgiveness.

The following few years were comparatively smooth. Liam grew into an energetic little boy with a particular fascination with ships, which his father took him to see every Sunday at the docks. His mother began to teach him to read and write. She also tried to teach him about music, but found him to be as hopeless at it as his father. He was incapable of singing on key, and found his grandfather's violin boring and tedious. With some regret, Christine gave up and put her father's violin back into a corner of her closet. Sari and Gavin were frequent and welcome visitors. Their visits often brought a good amount of cheer, although Sari sometimes took Christine aside to cry and express her concern over the fact that she couldn't seem to get pregnant. Sometimes, when she thought Christine wasn't looking, her sister caught her staring at Liam with something very much like longing.

While Christine didn't tell Edward nor Sari, she herself had concerns related to pregnancy. Over the past few years, she had suspected herself to be with child multiple times, but each pregnancy had resulted in miscarriages. By the time Liam was five, Christine had already lost three children. She never told Edward because she didn't want to worry him, but she suspected it was because she was simply too sick to carry a child. Her illness from prison still hadn't gone away, and she often felt too exhausted to get through the day without frequent periods of rest. She knew that Connor noticed, but he didn't say anything.

However, even taking Christine's illness into account, Connor remained the perpetual problem in the Jones household.

While other things functioned smoothly, Connor stayed his usual self. The only times Christine saw fragments of the brother she used to know was during his nightmares. He would wake up, covered in sweat and frantic, to bury his head in his sister's shoulder.

"Don't leave me again," he would sob, staring at her. "You have to promise."

"I won't make a promise that I cannot guarantee I'll be able to keep, darling. But I'll do my best. I love you very much," she murmured, rocking him gently.

Then, during the day, he would revert to his usual angry self, sometimes even having fits that ended with Christine having a few bruises. At his worst, he even cracked one of her ribs.

Christine did see some improvement, though, in the fact that he actually seemed to regret his actions.

"I'm so sorry," he moaned after the rib incident, blinking rapidly. "I just get so angry. I don't know what's the matter with me. I just think that everyone is going to hurt me, but you're the only person who never does."

Then, in spite of everything he'd just done to her, Christine had to wrap him in a hug.

It wasn't until 1799 that he finally went too far.

"Mama, mama!" Liam cried, running in with a broad grin, his father following more slowly behind him. "Guess what?"

"What?" Christine asked absently, stirring a pot over the fireplace.

"Martha had babies! Aunt Sari said the she was just getting extra fat, but Uncle Gavin said she was going to have babies and she was right!"

Christine looked taken aback. "Well... that's nice, I suppose." Edward hid a laugh behind his hands.

"Bloody hell," Connor grumbled from his usual chair next to the fireplace, where Christine had been telling him a story. She'd discovered that stories helped to calm him down, so long as they contained nothing that reminded Connor of anything traumatic.

"There are eleven of them and they're tiny! Do you think I can have one?"

Fortunately, Christine was saved from having to respond by a small woman in a cloak entering, almost tripping over the door in her haste to get in.

"Jayne, what brings you here?" Christine asked with a smile. Connor glowered at her from his chair.

Jayne ran to Edward and threw her arms around him, holding on for much needed comfort. Edward shot his wife a look of dread. Neither had seen Jayne in such a state since she'd come with the news of Evelyn's impending execution.

"Aunt Jayne! Martha had babies!" Liam crowed, jumping up and down.

"Liam, I think it may be time for you to do some reading. Why don't you read that book about sailing that your father got you?" Christine said with a meaningful look. Liam nodded briskly and scampered off.

"What's wrong?" She asked the second her son was out of the room.

"Oh God, Christine," Jayne moaned. Her hair, although tucked in a bun, was in massive disarray around her face. She was now a young woman of eighteen, with a pleasant, if still plain, face. At the moment, her usual cheerful features were morphed into a position of shock.

"What?" Edward prompted again, more urgently.

"I have such terrible news," she said, tears filling her eyes.

"Let me guess, your bastard father is planning to off us all," Connor drawled, leaning back in his chair and rolling his eyes. "What a surprise."

"Connor," Christine said sharply.

"I'm to marry the prince," Jayne blurted. "Father arranged everything. I don't want to for he seems as horrible as his father and he already had his last lover murdered, I know it, and he shan't be a good man to marry. I hear he's developed a terrible temper and he hates me ever since you ran off, Edward, and I can't marry him!"

Connor laughed humourlessly. "Well, it looks like the Larkins are getting on the throne after all. Congratulations, you two."

Both Edward and Jayne stiffened.

"It's not their decision, Connor," Christine replied, correcting his aggressive comments automatically.

"No, of course not. But what is it they say? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree? We'll be extremely lucky if Julian decides to kill her. I can just picture it now; Lord Alasdair hissing in her ear, Jayne betraying us and having us all killed, Jayne leading marches against our family in the North, the whole kingdom falling to chaos... dear, sweet, innocent Jayne will become a murderer, mark my words, just like her father and just like her brother, I'm sure. It's what all of the Larkins do. Even Liam will become a murderer and a cad, I'm certain. There's only so much your blood can do, Christine, and perhaps even your blood is tarnished. Perhaps mother had an affair, and that's why you insist on whoring yourself out to Larkins and befriending criminals and servants and rats-"

"Not another word, Connor," Christine interrupted as Edward stiffened beside her in barely contained anger. He had gotten much better at ignoring Connor's off-putting remarks, but even he had his limits.

"You do not know me," Jayne insisted, blushing slightly. "I'm not a killer, I swear."

"Who is Jayne going to kill, Mama?" Liam's voice came tentatively from his room.

Christine sighed, rubbing her eyes tiredly. Like all children, Liam was developing an insatiable curiosity, which often included eavesdropping.

"No one. Aunt Jayne is a good woman," Christine confirmed, even as Liam ran to her and buried his face in her apron.

"She hides it well, but even something that seems pure and innocent can be a rotting, festering mess underneath. That's what all of the Larkins are like," Connor sneered, pointing accusingly at Jayne.

"No, Aunt Jayne is good. Mama said so," Liam insisted, his lip trembling.

"She's wrong," Connor said flatly, eyes flashing as he stood. His face was beginning to turn dangerously red.

"Mama's never wrong," his nephew replied stubbornly.

"Your mother is a foolish woman who lacks all foresight," Connor snapped in reply, advancing angrily.

"Connor, calm down," Christine intervened, stepping forward and putting her hands on his chest placatingly, stopping his advance.

"How dare you say that to me! You have no idea what I went through because of you. You should be waiting on me hand and foot, not forcing me to endure the presence of murderers and lowlifes!" He was shouting now.

"Connor, we've been through this before-"

"I've endured enough pain for all of you, and it's all your fault." At the last word, Connor swung his fist into Christine's face.

"Mama!" Liam gasped, running towards the pair angrily. "Stop!"

Connor backhanded his nephew without a second thought.

"Out." Edward said, his voice low and dangerous.

Connor sneered. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, out!" He shouted, moving to Christine and helping her up. Her nose was steadily dripping blood onto the floor, and she avoided her brother's eyes.

For a moment, the room sat in a heavy silence. Liam was starting to cry, and Jayne was pale in horror and fear.

"Connor, I love you, but I can't do this anymore," Christine finally sobbed, nearly hysterical. "You hurt Liam. All I've tried to do is help you, but I can't have you under this roof if I know you can't control yourself around my son. Edward is right. I'll pay for you to rent a room until you find yourself a job, but, Connor, I just can't."

With a final disgusted glance, Connor spat at his sister.

"Out!" Edward snarled.

Connor left without a backwards glance, only grabbing some money on his way out.

As soon as he was gone, Liam ran to his parents and they folded him into a gentle hug.

"Good lord, I am so sorry," Jayne whispered. "I shouldn't have come-"

"Yes, you should have. We're your family," Christine said with a gentle smile, inviting her into the hug. Jayne sunk into the small family in relief. Everyone felt the absence of Connor, but Christine was ashamed that it brought at least equal relief to grief and regret.

"Everything is such a mess," Jayne whimpered.

No one disagreed.

"Julian may not be so bad, Jayne. Just remember that you can always come to us if you have any problems, alright?" Christine said.

Jayne nodded, her eyes filling with tears. "I just wish you could come to the wedding!" She cried.

Some of the tension dissipated as her brother and his wife began to giggle.

"I'm sorry I lost my temper," Edward said that night, watching his wife's tears silently fall again now that she was in the privacy of her own room.

"It needed to happen. He hurt Liam," Christine replied tonelessly. "I just wish-"

"I know," Edward interrupted gently, pulling her closer.

That night was not one of the happier nights of Christine's life. However, one positive thing did happen that night.

That night, although turbulent, was the night that Killian Jones was conceived.