Chapter Seventeen

Jack grinned as Moses meowed and jumped up onto his lap. "Here's my favourite little guy. Hey, buddy. How's the best looking cat in Wales today?" He tousled the short fur at the top of the feline's head and stroked under his chin.

Purring with approval, Moses stretched out and nuzzled his face against Jack's hand, the tip of his tail flicking languidly back and forth.

Estelle was sitting across from them and pouring freshly brewed tea into a pair of elegant, bone china cups from a matching teapot. Jack's neighbour and friend was very fond of the time-honoured British tradition of afternoon tea and always brought out her best china for the occasion. She also always served something delicious and home-made as part of the ritual, not being someone who cut corners with shop bought sandwiches, cakes or biscuits. Today was the classic of scones served with strawberry jam and cream, one of Jack's favourites. He suspected that even Ianto would have a tough time outdoing Estelle in the scone department.

She laughed as she placed a cup and saucer in front of him. "That cat has you wrapped around his furry little fingers, Jack." She smiled sadly as she reached over to stroke the feline's back. "I'm glad he's staying with you, but it's going to be a wrench to leave him behind."

Estelle had told him the week before that she and her husband-to-be, Robert, had decided to move to Cornwall later in the year, where Robert owned a seaside property which they planned to modernise and refurbish to become their retirement home. She had insisted that Jack retain guardianship of Moses, but he knew how much she doted over the feline. He squeezed her hand. "He's going to miss you. We both will."

She patted his hand in return. "I'll be expecting you to come and visit. It's such a lovely spot, and you'd be able to take some wonderful photographs. Perhaps by then you'll be able to bring your handsome young man with you."

Her hazel-coloured eyes twinkled, radiating a youth and vibrancy that belied her short, silvery white hair and lined features. Jack had always admired the way Estelle wore her age with grace and dignity, celebrating a rich and full life rather than fighting a futile battle to turn back the clock. In his eyes it made her all the more beautiful. "What is his name again? You know how terrible I am with names." She shook her head ruefully. "I'm afraid I'm getting worse."

"His name's Ianto." Jack couldn't stop his smile as he said the Welshman's name. Estelle hadn't yet had the pleasure of meeting Ianto, but Jack had shown her the website and photographs while effusing Ianto's many virtues. "Ianto Jones."

"Ianto. Yes, of course." Estelle took a sip of her tea. "Such a beautiful and unusual name. A Welsh derivative of John if I remember correctly?"

Jack nodded, having done some research himself on the origins of Ianto's name. Continuing to idly stroke Moses, he reached for his teacup. "That's right."

Estelle studied him as she sipped her tea. The corners of her eyes crinkled with an enigmatic smile. "None of us are immune, Jack. Not even you."

Jack frowned in confusion. "Sorry?"

"Falling in love." Estelle's tone was matter-of-fact, much as if she was talking about the weather.

"Oh." Jack swallowed involuntarily. He wasn't in denial about the depth of his feelings for Ianto. He was head over heels about the man, and had been almost from the day they'd met. Nevertheless, this was uncharted territory for him, and while he was now more hopeful than he had been a week ago, he had no idea if his feelings would ever be reciprocated. To hear the words stated aloud and so plainly was confronting, and he found himself uncharacteristically struggling for a response.

His face must have betrayed his discomfort, because Estelle gave him a look that was part disapproval and part fond amusement. "Being in love isn't a disease, Jack."

Jack chuckled wryly. "Are you sure about that?"

She waved an admonishing finger at him, but she smiled nonetheless. "I have to admit, it can feel like a kind of madness. Being in love is the most wonderful feeling in the world. It's also confusing, overwhelming and terrifying."

Jack thought that sounded about right, especially the terrifying part. He took a mouthful of his tea. "I've never felt this way about anyone before. But it's still early days. I've only just managed to get him to agree to go on a date with me. And now I'm worried that I'm going to screw it all up and scare him away."

"Well, I know it's not much comfort, but I think everyone feels that way in the beginning." Estelle put two scones onto a plate, split them apart, topped them with generous servings of jam and cream, and passed the plate to Jack.

"Thanks, Estelle. These look fantastic." Jack took the plate gratefully, his range of motion impeded by Moses, who had gone to sleep on his lap and clearly had no intention of moving anytime soon.

She gave him a warm smile. "You're a wonderful man, Jack, and I'm certain that Ianto will realise how lucky he is to have you. But I know you, and patience isn't your strong suit. Once you set your sights on something, you don't hold back and you race to get to the finish line. But falling in love and bringing someone special into your life is a journey. It's not something to be rushed. My advice is to enjoy your time together and let the future take care of itself. This is an exciting time in your life, Jack. Savour every moment."

Jack ate one of the scones as he considered Estelle's words, knowing in his heart that she was right. He would have promised Ianto anything just to have a chance with him, but he'd known that showing patience and restraint was a challenge which he wasn't best equipped to handle. After all, instant gratification had been his middle name for a long time and change didn't come easily. But he didn't want to be that person any more, especially not with Ianto. He'd been sincere when he'd told Ianto that he deserved to be appreciated, and he fully intended to do everything he could to prove it.

He smiled and nodded. "I'll try to remember that."

Estelle gave him a pointed look. "And promise me that you're going to behave yourself. Loving someone includes giving them your fidelity and respect." She continued to sip her tea, her expression turning wistful. "I know it isn't always easy, and I've made my share of foolish mistakes. I still remember what it was like to be young and impulsive. Although I've also found that anticipation can be exciting too in its own way. I suppose that's something we learn as we grow older."

Jack smiled again, visualising the beautiful young woman he'd seen in her photograph albums, who had likely been far less innocent than she appeared. "I bet you were quite the little vixen."

Estelle laughed. "I'm not sure I'd go quite that far, but I like to think I had my moments." Mischief gleamed in her eyes. "I like to think I still do."

"Oh, I have no doubt about that." Jack gave her his best flirtatious wink and proceeded to eat another scone.

"And no flirting with every Tom, Dick and Harry." Estelle shook her head in a gesture of affectionate exasperation before giving him another look that broached no room for argument. "Save that for Ianto."

"Yes, ma'am." Jack laughed and gave her a cheeky grin, but then he sobered. The simple truth was that he wanted Ianto and only Ianto. For better or worse, he'd pinned all of his desires and hopes on one person and had barely given anyone else a second glance since the fateful day they'd met. It would have been unsettling under the best of circumstances, but given the tenuous nature of their relationship and Ianto's confusion over his sexuality, it was downright terrifying.

With a sigh, he resigned himself to his ongoing celibacy for the foreseeable future. "I promise."

###

Ianto was lost in his thoughts as he stared into his half-empty pint of beer. Scarcely twenty-four hours remained before his date with Jack, and from the moment he'd said yes two days earlier, he'd been increasingly anxious and unsettled.

He was sitting in a booth with Rhys at the pub which they sometimes frequented within walking distance of the bakery. They'd decided to treat themselves to a pint after an unexpectedly busy afternoon. A 'Doctor Who' tour bus had broken down almost literally on their doorstep, resulting in a sudden influx of customers seeking refuge and refreshments. They'd been run off their feet by the enthusiastic group of Whovians while the bus was being repaired. The distraction hadn't been unwelcome, nor had the sizable boost to their takings for the day, but his thoughts had now returned to more personal matters.

A large part of him was still in a state of shock, unable to reconcile the notion of becoming romantically involved with a man... with Jack. Yet, he couldn't deny that a part of him was also intrigued, even excited, by the prospect. He'd never thought of himself as an adventurous sort of bloke, but whatever it was that Jack had awakened within him refused to be denied or suppressed. The less rational part of him wanted to throw caution to the wind and give into these newfound desires.

At the same time, he didn't know if he was brave enough to explore this new, uncharted side of himself. Nor did he know what the ramifications might be if he did. It was as if what he'd believed to be the foundations of his reality had in fact been built upon quicksand. There was no escaping that no matter what now happened between Jack and himself, his concept of self had been changed, profoundly and irrevocably.

There was also the ever-present worry over the success of the bakery. Martha's article was going to print this coming weekend, and he hoped that it would help to bring in more customers. Making ends meet was still an ongoing source of anxiety. He'd just paid for the printing of more flyers, one of his suppliers had increased their prices the week before, and he needed to increase Rhys's wages. They'd agreed that Rhys would receive what amounted to little more than minimum wage while the business was getting on its feet, but after almost six-months of Rhys working tirelessly and without complaint, he felt too much like he was taking advantage of their friendship. The fact that he paid himself even less was neither here nor there.

Between all of that and his confusion over Jack, he felt perilously close to losing his emotional equilibrium. Rubbing distractedly at the shoulder he'd wrenched while unloading a delivery of supplies earlier in the day, he wondered if an existential crisis could trigger a nervous breakdown.

"You're worried about your date with Jack, aren't you?"

He looked up to find Rhys watching him from across the booth's well-worn table, concern evident in his eyes. "Amongst other things." He sighed and took a pull from his glass. "Maybe it's too soon. Or maybe it's all a mistake. Perhaps I should cancel it."

"Don't you bloody dare." Rhys gave him an uncharacteristically fierce glare. "Besides, Jack would be devastated."

That seemed like a bit of an overstatement, but Ianto knew that Jack would be disappointed. The idea of disappointing Jack caused something to twist uncomfortably in his stomach and highlighted the other problem with the entire situation – he'd grown to enjoy the friendship they'd built over the last couple of months, and he feared ruining it. The simple truth was he'd become more attached to Jack than he ever would have thought possible.

Rhys's expression relaxed as he drained the remainder of his glass. "It's fear of the unknown. Nothing wrong with that, but you wouldn't have said yes if you didn't want to go out with him. For all you know, you'll have a brilliant time. Anyway, you can't let me down."

Ianto frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Rhys studied his empty glass for a long moment, seeming reluctant to reply. Finally he looked up, but was clearly ill-at-ease. "You and me, we're not the most worldly of blokes, are we? Well, I'm not, anyway. You went off to Paris for a year, then came back and started the bakery, so you're all right. But what I mean is that we both like our routines, we go along with our lives, don't go too far out of our comfort zones, try not to rock the boat. But this thing with you and Jack... it's... well, it's inspiring. You're taking a chance on something completely new and different." He gave Ianto a self-deprecating smile. "I admire you, Ianto. I really do. And the thing is... it's given me a bit of a wake-up call... started me thinking about making some changes in my life too."

Ianto stared at him, lost for words and still confused. "What sort of changes, Rhys?"

Rhys sighed and pushed aside his glass. "I'm thinking about ending things with Gwen."

Ianto realised that he hadn't spoken for a long, awkward moment as he tried to process Rhys's bombshell. He knew that Rhys and Gwen had rows from time to time, and Gwen could be a bit self-centred and short-tempered. He liked Gwen, but she sometimes reminded him a little too much of Lisa, and he'd long suspected that she wasn't above applying some emotional manipulation when it suited her. That said, Gwen had never had a problem with Rhys's working at the bakery, at least as far as he knew, and she had never been anything but friendly towards him. He shook his head in apology. "Sorry. Just that it's a bit of a shock. I thought... you've always said how much you love her."

Rhys nodded. "I still do. But I'm fed up with being taken for granted. Lately, I feel more like her bloody housewife than her boyfriend. She swans around, comes and goes as she pleases, leaves her stuff all over the flat and never cleans up after herself, treats me like a piece of the furniture half the time. Good old, dependable Rhys." The bitterness in his voice was unmistakeable. "I admit, it's partly my fault. I've let her get away with it for too long. It's not just that, though. I'm not blind. I see the way she looks at other blokes. I bet she would be all over Jack if she got half the chance."

Ianto tried to ignore the tightness in his chest at the thought of Gwen fawning over Jack. He looked sadly at Rhys, remembering his own heartache over his breakup with Lisa. "I'm sorry, Rhys. I didn't realise. Have you tried talking to her about it?"

"Yeah. She just laughs it off. Tells me to stop being a nag or says I'm too bloody sensitive." Exhaling a weary sigh, Rhys shook his head. "I just don't think it's worth it anymore. What's the point of being with someone if you're not happy? Might as well be on my own. Anyway, if I decide to leave her, maybe it will be good for me. Get me out of my rut."

Ianto tried to give his friend a reassuring smile. "Just don't follow my example and go swanning off to another country."

Rhys managed a half-hearted laugh. "No chance of that. I'd be homesick in a week. Plus, I'm rubbish at foreign languages. Anyway, I love working with you at the bakery."

Ianto looked at his friend with affection and gratitude. Of course, he'd support Rhys with whatever he wanted to do, but he hated the thought of being parted from his best friend again.

Rhys sobered. "Look, I know it's a cheek, but if I decide to leave Gwen, do you think I could stay with you for a bit? Just until I get a new place sorted?"

Ianto didn't hesitate. "Yeah, of course you can, Rhys." Living and working together might be a bit of a strain, but it wouldn't be permanent and at least Rhys wouldn't have to face the transition back to bachelorhood alone. Plus, it would be nice to have the company of a flatmate for a while. "Anything I can do to help."

"Thanks, Ianto." Rhys mustered up a smile. "How about another round? My treat." He gathered up their empty glasses, but then paused and gave Ianto a hard look. "Promise me you won't wriggle out of your date with Jack."

Ianto suspected that he should have taken offence, but he merely sighed and gave Rhys a meek nod. "I promise."