Chapter Eighteen

At a quarter to seven the following evening, Jack was again standing at Ianto's front door. And just like the first time he'd visited Ianto's flat, his stomach was a twisted knot of anxiety.

Taking a deep breath, he silently chastised himself for being ridiculous. He wasn't someone who got nervous, he reminded himself firmly. Posing for the camera without so much as a stitch of clothing had never fazed him, yet something as mundane as a date had somehow managed to take him to the brink of becoming a nervous wreck.

Except that this wasn't a random date with some random person, and he wanted so desperately for the evening to be a success that he'd almost driven himself crazy. He'd lost count of how many times he'd changed his mind over his attire for the evening, trying to find the perfect balance of casual, smart and irresistible. Now that he had Ianto's interest, he wanted to look the best he could for the Welshman, but he also didn't want to seem like he was trying too hard to impress. His original plan had been to go all out for the occasion with his best and favourite suit, complete with expensive silk tie and silver cufflinks, all of which would have been perfect for the swanky French restaurant he'd had in mind. But he'd then had a change of heart when Estelle had advised him to choose a more casual and less intimidating venue. He'd still ended up wearing a suit, but had settled for a more modest option paired with a simple open-neck shirt. He just hoped that he'd made the right decision.

Finally the door swung open, and the time for second guessing himself was over. Jack's mouth went dry as he admired the sight standing in front of him.

Ianto was wearing a deep red shirt and a sharp, tailored two-piece suit in a shade of dark grey bordering on black, his customary black leather dress shoes completing the ensemble. His hair was arranged in a slightly more casual style than he wore at work, and the top two buttons of his shirt were open, offering a glimpse of pale skin and dark chest hair. Ianto was nothing short of stunning, and Jack counted his blessings all over again that the Welshman had finally agreed to go out with him. He fully intended to heed Estelle's advice and enjoy every moment.

"Wow. You look incredible, Ianto." He smiled, gratified to see that Ianto was also giving him the once over. Judging from the appreciative look on the younger man's face, his chosen ensemble of a medium-grey suit, dark blue shirt and coordinating brown shoes and belt had received the seal of approval.

Ianto returned his smile, albeit a little uncertainly. He cleared his throat. "Um... thanks, Jack. So do you." He stepped back from the doorway. "Do you want to come inside for a minute?"

"Thanks." Jack crossed the threshold, and Ianto closed the door behind him. He gave Ianto a sheepish look as he presented the plain brown paper bag that he'd been holding behind his back. "Here, this is for you. I was going to get you flowers, but I thought it might be a bit much for a first date. Not that this is a typical first date of course..." He shrugged, feeling awkward and tongue-tied.

"No, I suppose it's not." Ianto took the bag, grinning as he opened it and discovered its contents. "Chocolate ice cream. Thank you."

Jack chuckled. "I thought you should have your own supply. There's a block of dark chocolate in there too for sprinkling over the top. Just don't eat the ice cream too fast and give yourself a headache."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "I'll try to remember that." He gestured towards the kitchen. "I'd better put this in the freezer. Won't be a sec."

When Ianto returned, he locked the door behind them, and they headed down to Jack's car, which he'd just had washed and polished for the occasion. Ianto frowned as they were climbing into their seats. "Do blokes actually give each other flowers?"

Jack shrugged. "Sure, why not." Although he didn't have any personal experience and wasn't overly crazy about flowers himself, he didn't have a problem with the idea of one man giving flowers to another as a token of affection. It was a common enough ritual amongst heterosexual couples, so there was no reason why it should be any different for same-sex couples.

With a bewildered shake of his head, Ianto fastened his seatbelt. "I don't know how things are meant to work when it's two men together." He gave a wry, self-deprecating laugh. "I had a difficult enough time with women."

Jack could empathise, given his own lack of experience when it came to dating and relationships. In their own separate ways, they were both trying to make sense of this strange, new reality. He reached for Ianto's hand, taking it in his own and giving a gentle squeeze. "I don't think it makes any difference. Regardless of the genders involved, it's still two people getting to know each other. As far as I'm concerned, there aren't any rules. I think we just make it up as we go... do what feels right at the time. That's okay, isn't it?"

Staring down at their joined hands for a moment, Ianto squeezed back and nodded. "I suppose it's going to take me a while to get used to this."

"There isn't any rush." Jack tried to give him a reassuring smile before letting go of his hand and starting the car. "We can figure things out together." He flashed Ianto a teasing grin. "Oh, and for the record, you can give me flowers anytime you like."

Reversing the car, he put it into gear and headed towards Penarth. It was only about a ten-minute drive to the restaurant, and they filled the time chatting about the bakery and the ongoing drama of Rhiannon's wedding preparations. The big day was still two months away, but Jack couldn't help agreeing with Ianto that the sooner it was over the better. Personally, he didn't see the point of all the stress, hassle and expense just for one day. He liked a party as much as the next person, but when he got married he wanted it to be simple and low-key, shared with just a handful of family and friends. Glancing at Ianto, he wondered what his thoughts were on the subject.

When they arrived at Penarth, he turned onto Beach Road and followed it around to Penarth Esplanade, reducing speed so they could admire the panoramic view of the coastline and Bristol Channel to their left. The combination of the picturesque seafront location and the mild summer evening seemed perfect for a romantic first date. Deciding that he might not be as bad at the whole dating thing as he'd thought, some of his anxiety began to ease.

After passing the Penarth Pier, he brought the car to a stop outside the restaurant and smoothly reversed into an empty angled parking bay at the front. According to what he'd gleaned from the website, the restaurant prided itself on their use of local meat, produce and seafood, which he hoped that Ianto would appreciate since it was the same philosophy he had with his bakery.

"Here we are." He smiled as he turned off the ignition and got out of the car, moving swiftly around to the passenger-side door and opening it just as Ianto was unfastening his seatbelt. "Ever been here before?"

Ianto climbed out and looked up at the restaurant. Formerly a Victorian beach shelter, its history was reflected by the wide veranda spanning the entire length of the building. Large windows provided the same stunning views from the restaurant's interior, and the rooftop terrace above was furnished as a second outdoor eating area. He shook his head. "No, but it's a lovely spot. Beautiful, actually."

Closing the door and locking the car, Jack gestured out at the Channel, pointing towards the south-west. "You can see Flat Holm and Steep Holm islands and all the way across to Somerset." He inhaled the crisp sea air. "I thought we could go for a stroll along the pier after dinner."

Ianto nodded and continued looking around with apparent interest. "That sounds good, Jack."

They made their way up to the veranda and entered the restaurant through a pair of glass-panelled doors. The interior was split over two levels, the décor clean, airy and understated with smooth, white walls broken up with appropriately coastal-themed artwork, hardwood floors and square tables with crisp white tablecloths. Simple, white light fixtures hung from the high ceilings, but since nightfall was still a couple of hours away, there was ample natural light.

When he'd made the booking, Jack had requested a quiet, inconspicuous table, preferably beside a window and away from the bustle of the bar and kitchen. He was relieved not to be disappointed when their polite, blonde-haired waitress took them to a table tucked into a corner of the lower level, where an adjacent window provided a view out over the seafront. The restaurant was relatively warm inside, so they both slipped off their suit jackets, hanging them over the backs of their chairs.

Ianto had been suspiciously silent and was staring out the window, his posture suggesting that he was ill-at-ease. It was with a sinking feeling that Jack wondered if he was already having second thoughts. He leaned across the table a little. "Everything okay?"

Ianto turned to look at him, a small, apologetic smile passing over his lips. "Sorry. I'm a bit nervous. It's been a while since I've done anything like this. Plus... well..." He trailed off with a small shrug, looking awkward.

Jack finished the train of thought for him. "You're on a date with a guy." He tried to ignore his frustration, reminding himself that Ianto couldn't be blamed for being uncomfortable under the circumstances. "If it helps, I'm nervous too."

"You are?" Ianto gave him a disbelieving look. "It's hard to imagine you ever being nervous."

"I admit it's not a common occurrence. But I'm nervous tonight." Jack reached over and touched Ianto's arm. "It's okay. I know this must be kind of weird for you." He picked up the wine list. "How about we order a bottle of wine? What do you fancy?"

Ianto perused the list for a moment. "How about a red? Something local?"

Jack selected one of the more expensive local reds and managed to catch the eye of their waitress. In the meantime, they decided on their appetisers and main courses, Ianto choosing seared scallops followed by Welsh lamb while Jack selected a fish starter and slow-cooked pork.

The wine proved to be a good choice, and once the tasting and pouring ritual was complete and they both had a glass in hand, Jack sipped appreciatively, enjoying the rich, fruity flavour. Ianto seemed to relax a little, but Jack felt his own anxiety increase again. They'd already shared a number of meals together, spent numerous hours together watching movies, and they'd had coffee together on many occasions. They had always found things to talk about. Now, in this more formal situation, it seemed that neither of them knew what to say to each other. Belatedly, he wondered if a relaxed meal at home would have been a better, less intimidating option.

Taking another sip of wine, he mustered up a smile. "So, tell me something that I don't already know about you." He gave Ianto his best cheeky wink. "Preferably something embarrassing."

Ianto raised an eyebrow. "Something you haven't already wheedled out of Rhys or Rhiannon?" His expression suggested that he was more amused than annoyed.

Jack shrugged. "I've told you, I'm a curious guy." Admittedly, he did already know a lot about Ianto, but he always wanted to know more. Given that Ianto wasn't exactly the most forthcoming person he'd ever known and could be frustratingly close-lipped, it wasn't an easy task. Nevertheless, he was determined to know everything.

Ianto took a sip of wine and appeared to be weighing his options. "I got caught shoplifting when I was sixteen."

Jack felt his eyebrows shoot up with surprise. The Ianto he knew was a model of restraint and propriety – it was difficult to imagine him as a rebellious teenager and petty thief. He was immediately intrigued. "Wow. Really? Tell me more."

"Not one of my finer moments. It was a dare by my first girlfriend. She wasn't the best of influences. Luckily, I only got a slap on the wrist by the police. Rhiannon thought it was hilarious, but Rhys was furious and told me to break up with her." Ianto shrugged. "I'd sort of gone off her by that stage anyway."

"Well, that's understandable." Jack struggled to keep a straight-face. He took a sip of his wine. "What did you try to steal?"

Ianto grimaced and sighed. "A box of condoms."

Jack couldn't help it. He burst into laughter.

Ianto glared at him. "It's not funny, Jack." But a reluctant smile twitched at the corners of his mouth. "All right, maybe it is now. A bit. It wasn't at the time, though." He gave Jack an expectant look. "Your turn."

"Hmm, that's going to be tough to beat." Jack was still grinning, but he was spared for a few moments when their appetisers arrived.

Both of their selections looked delicious, and Jack didn't waste any time in trying a mouthful. He was pleased to find that it tasted as good as it looked. Looking across at Ianto, he was distracted as he watched the Welshman neatly carve a scallop into two and pop one half into his mouth. "Good?"

Ianto swallowed and nodded. "Mmm. Very nice."

Relieved, Jack took another sip of wine and settled on a story which he was certain would elicit an amusing reaction from the younger man. "Okay, so I was sixteen too when this happened. There was this guy at school I had a huge crush on. Imagine a young James Dean. Cool and aloof, sexy as hell, bad boy written all over him. He was failing maths so I saw an opportunity and offered to help. I was always good at maths. Anyway, we were studying in my bedroom one afternoon and one thing led to another. Then, right in the middle of things, my mom opened the door and came in, unannounced, with my brother in tow." He grinned shamelessly. "Suffice to say, neither of us were wearing many clothes by that point and my mouth was wrapped around a certain appendage. Then, just as my mom started yelling at us, he, well... climaxed." He chuckled at the memory. "She couldn't have timed it better."

Ianto's eyes widened with shock. He reached for his wine glass and swallowed a mouthful, spluttering as he swallowed. A pink tinge had crept up the pale skin of his throat and coloured his cheeks, and his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed again. "What did your mum do?"

Trying to hide his amusement, Jack ate some more of his food before answering. "Once she'd recovered from the shock, she told me to lock the door next time. On the plus side, she never came into my room again without knocking first. Neither did Gray. But the guy didn't want to have anything to do with me after that. Then, a week later, I found out he'd gotten himself a girlfriend." He affected a dramatic sigh. "Everything is so intense at that age. I was devastated."

Ianto continued to stare at him for a moment, then he solemnly ate another scallop. "You win, Jack. Your story is more embarrassing than mine."

Jack laughed and continued eating.

###

Their main courses proved to also be excellent, and as they finished off the last of the bottle of wine, Jack was feeling more relaxed. Much to his relief, Ianto seemed to be enjoying himself too.

After the confessions of their teenage indiscretions, they talked about all manner of subjects. He'd learnt that Ianto had a deep and irrational fear of clowns, was scared of spiders, heights and swimming in open water, despised Brussels sprouts with a vengeance and wasn't crazy about vegetables in general except for potatoes. His favourite colour was red, specifically darker shades of red like the shirt he was wearing, and in his adolescent years he'd had a disturbing fondness for Swedish pop bands. At the tender age of eight-years-old, he'd wanted to be a fireman because he had liked the idea of riding around in a big red fire engine. In his teens, he'd wanted to be a spy for MI5, but had ultimately ended up as a civil servant in the archives department of the Cardiff City Council.

He'd just finished telling Ianto about Gray's wedding when the Welshman gave him a curious look. "Is your brother like you?"

"In what way?" Jack wiggled his eyebrows. "Devilishly handsome and all-around amazing guy?"

Ianto rolled his eyes. "No, I mean, he's married to a bloke, but does he like both men and women?"

"Oh." Jack shook his head. "No, Gray prides himself on being gold star." He didn't quite manage to hide the derision from his voice.

Ianto gave him a puzzled frown, clearly not understanding the expression.

"It means he's only ever been with men." Jack loved his brother, but they tended to butt heads on many subjects, their different views on sexuality being one of them. "It's a point of contention between us. He thinks I should pick a gender and be done with it."

"Well, if you get married someday, you will, won't you?" Ianto shrugged mildly. "You'll have made your choice."

Jack couldn't fault Ianto's logic even if it was rather simplistic. "True. But that doesn't mean I suddenly decide I'm no longer attracted to the other gender. If I marry a guy, that doesn't mean I don't find women appealing anymore. Just because I no longer act on it doesn't mean the attraction isn't still there."

He pulled out his phone, accessed his photo library, found the image he was looking for, and handed the phone to Ianto. "Here's a photo of Gray and Ryan on their wedding day. Don't get me wrong, Gray's a great guy. He's intense and kind of quiet. And he can be uptight and high-strung. Not easy-going like me. He's the brains of the family. I got the charm and good looks."

Ianto studied the image for a few seconds, then handed the phone back. His lips twitched in an obvious attempt to hold back a smile. "Not to mention a complete lack of modesty."

"Yup." Jack laughed. "Anyway, you're too modest. I guess we balance each other out."

For dessert, Jack chose chocolate mousse and Ianto went for lemon and blueberry cheesecake. He was surprised that Ianto didn't choose one of the chocolate options, but suspected the Welshman couldn't resist checking out the competition.

He'd wolfed down almost half of the rich, chocolatey goodness before he noticed Ianto eyeing it with obvious interest. Giving him a knowing grin, Jack slid the plate across the table. "It's really good. Go on, try some. You know you want to."

Ianto gave him a dubious look, quickly glanced around, then carefully collected a small spoonful of mousse. Jack was envious of the spoon as he watched it slip between Ianto's lips. When the Welshman's eyes drifted closed for a moment, he was reminded of their first meal together and the sight of Ianto eating chocolate ice cream. Now that he knew how talented those lips really were, he had to stifle a groan as his mind conjured up some wonderfully erotic imagery of other ways that they could be put to good use. He shifted in his chair and had to resist the urge to adjust his trousers.

"Delicious." Ianto pushed the plate back towards Jack, then offered his own. "Here, try the cheesecake." He studied Jack for a moment and frowned. "Are you all right, Jack? You look a bit flushed." His face was a picture of innocence.

It was too innocent, and Jack's admiration of the man – cheeky Welsh bastard that he was – climbed even higher. Beneath Ianto's placid exterior was a playful streak, possibly even downright wicked, and Jack wondered how long it might be before he'd have the chance to unleash it. He could hardly wait.

"I'm just a bit warm, that's all." Doing his best to appear nonchalant, Jack sampled a spoonful of cheesecake. "Mmm, that's really good. But not as good as the ones you make."

Once they were finished, they decided to forgo coffee or an after dinner drink, the wine having been more than enough for both of them. Jack paid their bill, refusing to take any money from Ianto. After thanking their waitress and complimenting the food, they put on their jackets and headed outside.

The sun was now low in the sky, which was a brilliant mixture of fiery oranges and reds blended with chalky mauves and deep blues. The scattering of light clouds didn't obscure the first glimmers of stars. A cool breeze swept in from the sea, but the temperature was still quite mild, and Jack hoped that he wasn't being too fanciful in taking the perfect conditions as a good omen.

"That's quite a view." Smiling, he turned to Ianto, who was staring out to the horizon, his blue eyes bright and lips slightly parted. The softening light complemented Ianto's handsome, smooth-shaven features, and several seconds passed before Jack realised that he'd actually stopped breathing in his admiration of the beauty of the man standing at his side. He continued to study Ianto's face, attempting to memorise every detail and wishing he could take a photograph to preserve what felt like a perfect, precious moment in time.

He placed a hand on Ianto's shoulder, allowing the touch to linger when Ianto didn't protest or seem to mind. "Still up for that stroll along the pier?"

Ianto turned his head, and their eyes met. A soft smile passed over his lips. "Yep. Let's go."

The pier head was vast, with a row of benches along its centre interspersed by tall, Victorian-style street lamps, the entire perimeter enclosed by ornate, turquoise and white balustrade. A few people were wandering around, but there was no-one nearby as they stood together at the topmost edge and stared out across the darkening sea. In the distance to their left, the bright lights of Cardiff could be seen, the coppery shine of the Millennium Centre's roof easily recognisable. To their right was the white beacon of the Flat Holm lighthouse, and beyond, on the opposite side of the channel, were the lights along the coasts of Devon and Somerset.

They were standing shoulder-to-shoulder, a mere inch or two between where Jack's right hand and Ianto's left rested on the railing. Taking a chance, Jack shifted his hand to rest on top of Ianto's. The Welshman had what many would describe as artists hands. While not overly large, with lean, long fingers, they were nonetheless strong and masculine. With their neatly trimmed fingernails and smooth, unlined skin, they could have been the hands of a model, and just like Ianto's lips, Jack imagined the pleasure that those skilled, sensual hands could be capable of providing.

Ianto gave him a startled look, but then surprised him by turning his hand in Jack's and interlacing their fingers. "Your hand is cold."

Jack chuckled. "So is yours."

He watched as Ianto turned his attention back to the water, warmed by Ianto's hand in his own despite the coolness of their skin. Ianto exhaled a soft, almost inaudible sigh. "It's been a lovely evening, Jack. Thank you."

"Yes, it has." Jack couldn't hold back a happy smile. "Although, I should be the one thanking you." Unable to resist, he tilted his head and pressed a soft kiss against Ianto's cheek, just below his temple. "No regrets, then?"

Ianto once again gave him a startled look, but he shook his head and squeezed Jack's hand. "No regrets." He smiled a little wistfully as he looked back out across the sea. "I forget sometimes how beautiful it is here. I've been so wrapped up with the bakery since I came back. But I should make an effort to enjoy the simple things... appreciate what's right here."

Jack nodded in agreement. "I think that's good advice for any of us. Maybe that's something we both need to do."

Ianto looked at him with curiosity in his eyes. "Together?"

Jack smiled again and squeezed Ianto's hand. "Yeah. Together."