The lab had not been the same since Stella left. It was quieter and more subdued without her infectious smile and vibrancy. Everybody- from the senior detectives, to the CSIs, to the labrats and even the cleaners and guards- missed Stella. It was like a light had been extinguished in the lab. In the four months since her resignation the lab had utterly changed. Even the arrival of Stella's well-liked replacement Jo Danville was not able to heal the wounds of her departure.

News had travelled fast in the immediate aftermath of the fight and it had not been long until the CSIs had found out. They had been utterly shocked by what the nightshift had told them. Although not privy to the fact that Mac had struck Stella, they were still shocked by the fierceness of the fight. Sure, Mac and Stella had fought before but never before like this and with such devastating consequences.

Angrily, they had confronted Mac but he had been silent on the matter, the anger -and as Lindsay noticed- the hurt, was still very raw. And in the four months since her resignation, Mac had not discussed the row nor had he indeed discussed Stella, an action which had stunned everybody. There was no trace of her left in the lab- her office and her locker had been cleared and that coupled with Mac's refusal to discuss it, made it seem as though she had never even existed. All they had left was their memories.

Immediately after they had discovered Stella had resigned; Flack and Lindsay had gone around to her apartment, to support her and to confront her but instead, much to their shock, her next-door neighbour had informed them that Stella had sold the apartment and that she had moved away. Despite a large amount of investigation, they had been unable to find any trace of Stella's whereabouts in New York. In fact it was as though she had vanished off of the face of the earth.

It had taken two months after her resignation before rumours started circulating that Stella was the head of the New Orleans crime lab-something which they could not confirm and they all suspected that Mac had not bothered to ascertain. It was as though he had washed his hands of Stella and even though they knew some of what had been spoken between them and that Stella had been out of line, they also knew that Mac was being unpardonably cruel. After all, this was Stella-his partner, his best friend and as the CSIs had long suspected something a little bit more.

There had always been something about their partnership, the CSIs knew that. It was impossible to work together almost every day for twelve years and not have a connection; this Flack and Angell, and Danny and Lindsay knew from personal experience. But the CSIs, from their observations of the couple, had always wondered and sensed that perhaps there maybe was a little more to it than just being partners. Indeed some people they had dealings including witnesses or even perpetrators of crime had automatically assumed that Mac and Stella were together only to be very surprised when their claim was denied. And it had often left the CSIs-none more so than Angell and Lindsay- wondering why Mac and Stella were not more than just partners.

But now all the hopes, all the dreams, all the rumours had perished because of the fight. Nobody on the team dared to confront Mac and so life continued at the NYPD lab- but without Stella.

Jo Danville was no idiot. She could see the effect Stella's departure had had on the team. She had been worried to begin with that she would not be accepted as part of the CSI family, who were immersed in grieving for their lost member. But she was wrong; they had welcomed her into the family with open arms and for that she was grateful. She proved to be a great addition and her and Mac hit it off well as partners.

However, despite her friendship with Mac, he was reluctant to talk about her predecessor. When she addressed him on lab procedures Stella had set up, he had given her one or two word answers, and she had become quickly aware that Stella Bonasera was an area which Mac Taylor was not willing to address.

Jo had also noticed that Mac seemed reluctant to join in conversation with the team in the break room and when she queried it with Lindsay, the entire room had quietened before Lindsay explained that since Stella's resignation he no longer spent as much time with his CSIs. Jo was curious to know about her predecessor; to understand the woman whom they all grieved for so much. Of course she had heard the lab gossip about the blow-up between Mac and Stella and she had also heard the rumours about Mac and Stella's relationship and it had only increased her curiosity.

Although she had only been at the lab for a short time, it was obvious to her that Stella had been more than just a partner to Mac. Jo knew that she would never be viewed the same as Stella and she was alright with that; the CSIs were a family, a family which had shared everything together and she was grateful that she had been accepted at all. Already she felt like a part of that family and because of this, she too wished that Stella would return.

To Lindsay, Stella was the mother-figure of the CSIs. She had been the one they went to when they had problems or needed advice and Lindsay had taken it for granted, thinking that Stella would always be there for them and that was what made her resigning so shocking. Lindsay greatly missed Stella. Jo was kind and had a good sense of humour but she could never match Stella. It had nearly broken her heart when she had to tell Lucy that Auntie Stella had left; the young girl not quite understanding the implications of her words, but tears springing to her eyes as she knew that whatever it meant was bad.

What perplexed Lindsay though was the fact Stella never mentioned wanting a change- especially that of leading her own lab and the suddenness of it all shocked her. One day Stella had been there and the next she was gone. What made it worse though was Mac's behaviour. It was like he wanted to forget all about her; an action which, despite the fight they had had, was still harsh and out of character. Lindsay just hoped that one day soon Mac would wake up to his mistakes and go after Stella. But until that day, Lindsay would keep the memories of the fiery Greek alive.

Lindsay remembered the confusion, tiredness and bewilderment of her first few days at the lab and she knew that had it not been for Stella's support she would not have been able to cope with the pace.

Stella handed Lindsay a tissue to mop up her coffee which she had accidentally spilt on the worktop. 'Oh, thanks!' Lindsay smiled gratefully.

'No problem.' Stella smiled in response.

'Let me give you a tip. Protein bars, comfortable shoes, and at least four hours of sleep a night.'

'Well that's not going to help me today. Mac wants these now.' She glanced down to the reports.

'No Mac wants them right. That's all that matters.' Stella shot her a supportive look, and smiled warmly causing Lindsay to smile back.

Stella was also the one she had confided in about her past as the survivor of the massacre of her friends and instead of judging her, which was what Lindsay had expected, she had again been a great support. Stella was always there; even in Lindsay's darkest and most uncertain moments. When she had found out she was pregnant it was Stella who had been the first she had gone to for advice.

Lindsay stopped Stella when she started to walk out of the lab. 'Stella! Aren't you the uh... the official safety officer at the lab?'
'Yes that is my proud unpaid position. Why?'

'Well I've got this um...friend, she works in a forensics lab in New Jersey, and...she's pregnant.'

'Oh, good for her.' Stella nodded, watching Lindsay suspiciously.

'Yeah, except she is really nervous because you know all the chemicals and processes that we do, you know that could really harm the development of the baby, right?'

'That's true. But there is also so many different safety protocols in place. Goggles, face shields, fume hoods. I mean not to mention the training and retraining we have to go through. I'm sure she'll be fine.'

Lindsay nodded. 'Seems like she's in a little over her head.'

'Well she's not alone, right? I mean, the baby has a father?' Stella questioned carefully.

'Yeah, yeah and he is great. It's just... you know I don't really know how ready he was for any of this so... well it's complicated.'

'And beautiful. . Listen Lindsay, umm... I'm sure if your friends' co-workers are anything like yours, they'll understand the situation and work with her, even be happy for her. It's gonna be okay.' The way that Stella looked at her as she spoke told Lindsay that she knew it was her they were talking about.

'Thanks.'

'You're welcome. Hey, umm... tell your friend congratulations.' And then Stella had walked away, her curls bouncing fiercely, leaving a much less worried Lindsay behind.

Lindsay was not the only one missing Stella. Danny still could not get over the fact she had gone. He had, like his wife, believed that Stella would always be there, supporting them all. She was one of his most beloved friends- a woman who completely understood him and who in some respects, was like a sister to him. She had been the only one along with Mac that Danny had asked to attend his and Lindsay's wedding and she had been a great support during the darkest moments when he faced the possibility of being paralysed for life.

'Hey. On your own two feet and looking good, Messer.' Stella beamed as she came out of her office.

'Not bad, huh? First the wheelchair, now no more cane. Done.'

'Yeah. You know, that was one of the scariest moments, and I'll never forget it when you said you couldn't move your legs.'

'When I saw the blood on my hands, I mean, I thought that was it.'

'Yeah, well, it wasn't your time.' Stella smiled solemnly, relieved beyond all imagination that one of her closest friends had survived.

Even when she did not necessarily support a decision he made, she supported him and that was what, in his mind, made Stella a truly great person. He remembered back to one particular incident when Danny had faked an illness in order to join the city wide police strike.

Danny opened the door to find Stella standing there, holding a brown paper bag. 'Jewish penicillin.'

He laughed awkwardly. 'I'm not sick, Stella.'

'You like chicken soup, don't'cha?'

He hesitated for a moment then smiled slightly. 'I could never say no to a little chicken noodle.'

'Then invite me in.'

He stood back, allowing Stella entry into the apartment.

'You know, I came over here to yell at you.' She said, pointing at him.

'Stella, we deserve to get paid. Come on, cops work hard in this city, you know. I mean, the Brass, they're not working for free so why the hell should I? You know I'm right. Come on, pull up a spoon.'

'I'm old school, Danny. You know, I took an oath and I take it literally. My responsibility is first and foremost to the people of this city and the job that I do'.

'That's exactly why I'm holding out for a little respect. I mean I come from a family of cops, Stell, I'm not taking this thing lightly.'

'Yeah, I know, I know, I know.' She walked away from him, placing the bag on the counter. 'Look I guess, I guess, it just took me driving over here to understand it all. People were crazy. They were getting out of their cars, it was chaos...there were no traffic cops.

'So you were coming over here to lay into me, yeah?'

'Yeah I was on my way to lay into you! I was so pissed off, Danny. Hawkes stood in for you at that hearing and they threw the case out. And there was so much work at the lab. Thank God for Lindsay, you know, she's a real trooper.'

'Yeah, yeah, she is. She's been calling me every other hour. Except I got to cough every time I answer the phone in case it's not her.'

They were silent for a moment but then Stella spoke again, 'You did the unpopular thing.'

Danny chuckled, 'Me? That's my M.O., right?'

Stella palmed his cheek. 'Ah, look, I got to get back to work, but I'm not leaving here without some of that soup, so how about you fix me up one to go please?

'Sure.' Danny smiled.

He had known Mac and Stella for a long time and he could see the effects this was having on Mac, even if their boss remained tight-lipped. Stella had been the only one he had ever known Mac to open up to and like Lindsay, Danny knew that Mac needed to find Stella and tell her how much she meant to him.

Stella was Adam's idol. She was fearless, funny and incredibly intelligent. She had always made him feel good about his abilities and he would never forget the extraordinary coup she had pulled off in order to save his job- by getting the rest of the team to cancel their leave. It was a perfect example of the type of woman Stella was. She always put the needs of others before her own. Adam smiled to himself as he remembered one conversation they had had together where they had searched through the databases to find people who shared their names after a case involving various Mac Taylors.

'What are you still doing here?' Stella asked him as she walked over to his computer.

'Oh, some friends of mine stood me up for pizza so just down on top of things, ya know.'

'Mind if I join you?'

'Oh, no, no, please.' Adam gestured and Stella sat down next to him.

'Okay, so what do we got? That doesn't look like work.' She smiled.

'It really isn't. I was just curious. You know there are three Sheldon Hawkes in New York state and there are ten Danny Messers.'

'Ten?' Stella asked surprised. 'Don't tell Danny that.'

'There's also another six Adam Rosses and there's eighteen in New York state. I was just sitting here wondering, you know, what do they look like or what kind of lives do they live, you know?

'Alright, what about me?'

'Uh, Stella Bonasera. There's only one.' He glanced to her.

'Trust me, that's enough. Let's try Sid.' She searched the database. 'It's a ninety-year-old woman.'

Adam laughed, 'I think he was named after his mother.'

'Alright, Don Flack.'

'Don Flack.' Adam repeated.

'Oh, six!' Stella exclaimed.

'Wow, six Don Flacks. I like that name. Don Flack.' Adam spoke in a deep voice and Stella laughed, her melodious laughter making him laugh too.

He wished Stella would return but until then they had to carry on, no matter the difficulty in doing so.

Over the years, Hawkes had come to view Stella as a close friend and her resignation had proved to be baffling, even for the mind of a genius. He had heard the rumours spreading around the lab about her conflict with Mac yet none of it made sense. Why would Stella choose now to leave? He missed her, that was certain. Stella possessed a wicked sense of humour which had often helped him stay sane when facing evil and horrifying sights day in and day out.

As he washed his hands following a particularly nasty experiment, he found himself thinking about some of the memories he had of Stella.

'I knew this would be a no-brainer for you.' Stella said to him, as he looked over a fried brain.

'She didn't just say that.'

'She did.' Both Mac and Flack said at the same time.

Interrogating suspects, chasing suspects, working on leads...it had become almost meaningless for Flack without Stella. He had lost his partner in crime, the woman who joked with him and who could make the best out of a bad situation. They had been friends for years, supporting each other through the ups and downs of life-for Stella the Frankie incident and for him the bombing which so nearly claimed his life.

They had such a strong friendship that Stella often confided in him and this made her mysterious resignation all the more harder to bear. He was not going to deny that he was angry but he was also confused and he wanted answers. However Flack was also angry at the pair for their inability to read each other. For the two best investigators in New York, they were blind when it came to examining themselves. Flack saw the way the pair looked at each other, and knew that it was more than just feelings of friendship that made their partnership so effective.

Stella was crouched over the body. 'Who discovered the body?' Both Stella and Mac asked at the same time and Stella turned around to face Mac, flashing him a wide smile.

Flack watched the looks the pair gave each other before raising his eyebrows. 'You two've been working together way too long. A student came in looking for her keys and "boom".'

Mac raised his eyebrows at the detective. 'Boom? You and Danny have been working together way too long.'

Angell had often commented on it with him. But Don knew that he could do nothing to persuade the stubborn Mac Taylor but until Mac realised what he had lost, Flack would continue to think about Stella.

As each CSI continued about their work throughout the weeks and months since Stella's departure, they kept their memories with them, remembering the tears and the laughter they had shared with the feisty Greek. Even if she was no longer at the lab in person, she would always be there in spirit. But it did not stop them from worrying about where she was. Until Stella returned they knew that things at the crime lab would not be the same. Breaking the others from their silence as they sat at the bar, thinking of Stella, Adam raised his glass. 'To the one who is not with us tonight. To Stella, wherever she may be.'

The others grabbed their glasses and toasted, 'To Stella.'

I would like to thank all those who reviewed the last chapter- it is very much appreciated. I have to admit this chapter was not my strongest but hope that you still enjoyed it nonetheless. This chapter was inspired by the song 'Memories' by Within Temptation.