I watch him for a minute. He's carrying large metal beams on his shoulders, towards the fence. As I watch him I gently run a bristly comb through my horse's hair, untangling any knots that were caused by the wind. Lincoln goes back and forth from a pile of beams to the fence over 5 times before the beams are all gone. It takes me a while to plan what I'm going to say. I know he won't be mad, it's as much his fault as it is mine, but I think he will be surprised. The sickening feeling that has been haunting my stomach for days slowly edges its way up my throat and I have to swallow it down. You can do this Octavia I tell myself. What do I say? What will he say? Will he be happy? Will he be sad? So many questions bombard me making me want to forget the idea of telling him, but I have to. I can't keep something like this from him. I would trust Lincoln with my life so I know I can trust him now to behave rationally.

It takes every shred of courage I have to leave my horse and walk over to where he is standing. My head is pounding so hard it causes me to wince and the permanent wish to project vomit everywhere is getting stronger. He stands with a few of the guards, my brother included. I need to get him alone, somewhere private. Lincoln turns to face me on my arrival with a wide smile on his face that soon disappears when he sees how ill I look. "Octavia are you okay?" his words are kind and gentle and his forehead is creased with concern. Telling him will break his heart. It will destroy him like it is destroying me. Behind Lincoln I see Bellamy step forwards to get closer to me. In a deep anxious voice he says "O what's wrong?" I ignore him and keep my focus on Lincoln. If I don't tell him now then the stress will eat me alive. "I need to talk to you" I say wearily. Lincoln tilts his head with suspicion but doesn't object. "Sure let's go inside"

I follow him across the yard and into an empty part of mecha station. The room is fairly dark but a single beam of light arcs over the walls and the old light bulb remains swinging from the ceiling, powerless. Lincoln glides across the floor to the corner of the room and perches himself on an empty work desk. "What do you need to tell me?" His voice is clear and smooth and completely unaware of what I am about to tell him. Every part of me doesn't want to tell him. I want to keep it a secret so I never have to see his perfect smile fade. He doesn't deserve this, neither of us do. "Lincoln I…" I trail of not sure how to say it. My heart is pounding so quickly in my chest it's like a ticking time-bomb. "Lincoln I'm…" I stutter and my voice is croaky, barely able to get the words out of my mouth. He stares at me with a worried look on his face. "I'm pregnant!" I blurt out. I couldn't hold it in any longer. His eyes widen at an alarming speed and his mouth drops ever so slightly. Lincoln's eyes just stare blankly at me. He says nothing. His silence makes me feel uncomfortable. "Well say something" I plead with him. "When did you find out?" he says. Nothing about his expression changes, he keeps the blank, stark stare. "A few days ago, I went to medical because I was throwing up and Abby told me" I can't figure out how he feels. Is he mad? Is he upset? "How far gone are you?"

"3 weeks" I say. He slowly gets up from where he was perching and walks over to me. Then he takes one of my hands in his and slides his cool fingers between mine. He is so close to me I can feel his warm breath on my cheek. "What are you going to do with it?" his voice is quiet, he looks more concerned now than before but I still can't figure out how he feels about the whole situation. "I was thinking about giving it up for adoption" I almost whisper. Suddenly he pulls me in and wraps his strong arms around me in a hug. I put my arms over his neck and we both hold on tightly to each other. His body is warm and it makes me feels safe, like I am home. When I am enfolded in his arms the rest of the world doesn't seem to matter anymore. He brings his lips close to my ear and says in the smallest voice possible "I'm so sorry". His words take me by surprise. I pull away from the hug just enough so that I can see his face but I leave my arms around him. "This isn't your fault" I say "None of this is" Lincoln's eyes are large and full of exasperation. "But it isn't yours either" he says nodding at me. The strong arms around me fall away and he steps away from me before holding both my hands in his own. "I promise I will stick by you no matter what happens. If you need me I will never be more than a few feet away. If you ever feel like getting rid of it then I understand and will stick by you but if you want to keep it then I will support you." The look on his face is intense and sincere, every word he says matching the expression on his face. All the tension and stress from the past few days finally releases and I am left feeling like I no longer have to carry this burden alone. We will carry this burden together.