It has been 1 month and a half since I found out I was pregnant. My life has pretty much stayed the same as it was before apart from the occasional puking and nausea. The sun glows brilliantly, rising over the far away mountains; there isn't a single cloud in sight. In this morning I feel truly at peace. Everything seems calm and relaxed; barely anyone is awake yet apart from the inconsistent groups of guards dotted around the fence. Bellamy is trying to get me to stay within the camp walls more often but my heart yearns to be back on my horse, galloping through the forests.
Suddenly I can feel the smell of something delicious slipping its way into my nostrils. I can't quite figure out what it is. Something sweet and tangy. Something amazing. When I realize what it is my stomach clenches and an uncontrollable desire for the fragrant berries hit me. I remember trying the berries when we first landed on the ground, small and plump, bursting with syrupy juice inside. I can't think about anything else, all I want is those berries. I need them. My head scans the area around me for any sign of them until my eyes come to rest on a middle-aged man carrying a basket of them into the building. I want them desperately; I have never wanted something so badly in my life.
I sprint in the direction of the berries and burst through the doors but when I reach my destination the man is gone and so are the berries. My head spins from side to side in search of them but they are nowhere to be seen. Just then I see a skinny, latina girl slowly walking down the metal corridor towards me. I dive towards Raven aggressively and grab both her arms. Her whole face wakes up with surprise and she stares at me like I'm crazy "Octavia, what the hell-"she begins but I interrupt her before she can finish. "Berries" I say almost manically. "What?" she says raising an eyebrow suspiciously. "Berries. I want them- no- I need them" Raven gapes at me in confusion for a few moments before a sly smile slithers across her face "I know what's wrong with you" she says nodding along to her own words. I lift an eyebrow at her quizzically. "You're getting cravings" She smiles smugly and I let go of her arms, taking a few steps back. "What?" I say confused. "You're getting your first cravings. That's why you're going crazy over a few berries" I half-smile at her and then look at my feet awkwardly, not wanting to look at her arrogant smirk. "Come on, let's go see if we can find you some berries" she says. I jump up in exhilaration; I have never been this happy about berries before.
As we enter the cold, dank canteen we see a few people hunched over tables, shoveling spoonfuls of vegetable soup into their mouths. My eyes examine the scene in front of me, desperate to find those sweet, delightful berries and thank god, perched on a counter in the corner of the room is a basket full of them. I rush forward as quickly as I can and finally find myself next to the basket of juicy, red berries. I look over at Raven with a smile bigger than any other I have made and she gives me a nod of approval before I scoop up a handful of them and tip them into my mouth. The sweetness dances on my tongue and a wave of relief flushes through me at the satisfaction. I can hear Raven chuckle to herself but I ignore her, I just gulp down as many berries as I can.
Later I find myself balanced on a bench made from scrap metal by the wall. The breeze is subtle but it's just enough to lift my hair backwards and make the hem of my shirt flap. Outside the wall I can see fresh, green trees stretch as far as the grand mountains in the distance and every now and then I can hear bird song. Less than a year ago I had never heard bird song in my life; I couldn't even imagine what it sounded like but now I hear it almost every day. How I long to go beyond the wall, like I longed to leave that tiny room I grew up in on the ark. I know that being inside the wall isn't the same as being trapped inside that room but it feels pretty much the same. I can sense the trees and the mountains calling me but if I step a foot outside Bellamy will kill me. Bellamy has been out all day. I don't know where exactly but Kane said something about him going to Polis to find Clarke. He won't give up on her, no matter what she always seems to be his first priority.
As I sit day dreaming on the bench I hear heavy footsteps behind me and then a large body slumps down next to me. Lincoln doesn't talk, he just gazes into the distance like I was doing a few moments ago. His arm is bulky and tense making his dark tattoos stand out. I run my finger along the black, circular band that goes around his arm, tracing every detail with my nail. After a few minutes he looks down at me and smiles softly. "What?" I ask. His smile grows bigger and in an amused voice he says "You're starting to show a little" I expand my eyes and immediately look down at my torso. I cup my stomach with my hands, feeling for a bump. It's barely noticeable but my stomach is definitely wider than it was previously. Lifting myself of the bench I continue to run my hands along my stomach until Lincoln's hand rests on mine. "May I feel?" he says. "Sure but there isn't really much there at the moment" I pull my shirt up a bit to reveal my belly and Lincoln gently places his large hand on my bare skin. His hands are cold but there is something comforting about how keen he seems, like he is excited. He bends down slowly and presses an ear to my exposed stomach. I laugh and smile simultaneously before saying "You won't hear anything yet, it's too soon"
"I don't care" he says with his ear still pressed to me.
When he finally stands up again I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his lips onto mine. He applies just enough pressure without being rough or too gentle. "Ai hod yu in" I say, which means 'I love you' in trigedasleng. He repeats the words back to me and then we continue to kiss in front of the scrap metal bench, the warm air heating my skin and making me feel pleasantly calm.